The Best 19 Business Plan Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Business Plan jokes. There are some business plan marketing jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these business plan local seo puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Business Plan Jokes and Puns

A factory owner is trying to come up with innovative ideas to save money and therefor save his business from going under.

The owner calls a meeting with all of his 200 employees out on the plant floor.
"Ok everyone, we are in deep trouble. I will give $2000 dollars to the first person that comes to me with a cost saving idea."
Immediately a guy in the front row shoots up his hand.
Owner says "Yes, Barry. That was fast, what's your cost saving plan?"

Barry says "make it $1000".

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

Hitler is in his Bunker

One day, Hitler is in his bunker planning his strategy for the next phase of the war when there is a knock at the door. He says "enter" and Goebbels walks in.
"What is it Goebbels? Can't you see I'm busy?!" asks Hitler, clearly irritated.
"Mein Fuhrer," says Goebbels, "I have news. The Italians joined the war today."
"No problem," replies Hitler, "send a division against them."
"Mein Fuhrer, they are on our side."
"Ah," says Hitler, "then send two divisions."

A man visits his doctor...

and asks him how to improve his sexual performance because he has a date with his girlfriend the next day. The doctor suggests masturbating a couple of hours before a sexual encounter.

After leaving the doctor's office, he decides he needs to find a window of time to do the deed. He can't risk doing it at work for fear of being fired, and he can't do it at home because he is meeting his girlfriend at a nice restaurant and won't have time to stop. After a little more thinking, he devises a brilliant plan: he will pretend he is fixing the underside of his car and do it there so no one can see him.

The next day, the man leaves work and heads to the restaurant. He pulls over to the side of the busy highway, discreetly slides under his car, closes his eyes and begins furiously slapping the salami. Some time goes by when another car pulls up behind him. A police officer steps out and says, "Excuse me sir, can I ask what you're doing there?"

"Oh, I'm just fixing my axles." The man replies.

The officer responds, "Well you might want to fix your brakes too, because your car rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."

Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...

Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.


I plan to retire at 30.

The used tire business is just calling my name.

I was in line at a busy bank...

I was in line at the bank and it was very busy so I had to wait awhile. At the front was a lesbian couple setting up a 529 plan for their new daughter's education. Behind them was a gay man waitinf to refinance his car. A bisexual couple was behind the gay guy talking about a home equity loan. Behind them was a trans person looking for HSA advice for upcoming treatment. I just had to wait behind the LGBT queue.

What's the only thing working out at the gym?

The business plan.

I had plans to get together with a buddy of mine who's a clock hobbyist, but he never showed up.

When I asked him where he was he said he was busy binge watching.

Donald Trump has a new plan for solving the conflict of interest of him owning his business empire and being President

He's going to put America into a blind trust.

I'll admit; my business plan of impersonating and running marathons on behalf of fee paying clients who want prestige without effort, is not going well.

But I'd still give you a run for your money.

You can explore business plan planning reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean business plan entrepreneurs dad jokes. There are also business plan puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I heard the Ringling Bros Circus is staying in business

They plan to stick around for another four years under the name "Trump Administration"

If a bunch of nuns wanted to help small business, they could create their own small business writing business plans...

And call it 'Nun of Your Business'

I have a great business plan to join gynaecology with taxidermy

We only need one set of tools to stuff beavers.

Planning to open a new shadow puppet show. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.

What's the best business plan ever made?

The Bible.

Bees: Forming a beehive is not an effective business plan

It's a hive mind full of buzzwords

My New Business for 2015

So, my business plan: I'm going to open a new business in 2015. For the first THREE weeks of the year, it is a gym. For the next 49 Weeks, it turns into a bar! That way, you can buy a year long membership and KNOW you can get your money's worth. The name: Resolutions
Whattya Think??

A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities.

I called several hotels, with no luck.

Finally, I thought I had found one.

I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room.

"No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the business plan marketers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working business plan marketing strategies piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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