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Business Operations Jokes

17 business operations jokes and hilarious business operations puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about business operations that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Business Operations Short Jokes

Short business operations jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The business operations humour may include short business management jokes also.

  1. My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items It's a small scale operation
  2. My friends and I just started a business where we weigh tiny objects. It's a small scale operation.
  3. My best friend and I just started a business where we weigh microscopic objects. It's ..a small scale operation.
  4. Batman got turned down for a business loan The bank discovered he ran a fly-by-night operation.
  5. At our tattoo studio, women can flash their b**... to get a discount The business model we operate on is "t**... for tat".

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Business Operations One Liners

Which business operations one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with business operations? I can suggest the ones about business ideas and business.

  1. I've just started a business where I weigh tiny objects. It's a small scale operation
  2. I just started a business operating charter flights Business is really taking off

Business Operations Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about business operations you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean business development jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make business operations pranks.

My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.

His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."

Hugh Hefner

Today, famous p**... Hugh Hefner successfully managed to stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which was outside the p**... Mansion, where they had been selling flowers.
Said one friar, "Well if it was anyone else we could've gotten away with it, but unfortunately only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health

If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.

The Falcon Heavy is now the world's most powerful rocket

The Falcon Heavy can put around 140,000 pounds of cargo into lower Earth orbit, more than twice as much weight as any other operational rocket. This powerful vehicle could open up entirely new types of business for SpaceX: launching heavy national security satellites or even sending large modules or your mom into deep space.

A couple are celebrating their golden wedding anniversary....

A couple are celebrating their golden wedding anniversary when the husband asks his wife if she's ever been unfaithful.
"Three times," answer the wife. "Remember when you needed money to start up your business and no one would give you any? Well I slept with the bank manager to secure you a loan."
"You made that sacrifice for me?" asks the astonished husband. "That was wonderful of you. What was the second time?"
"Remember that operation you needed that no one would perform because it was too dangerous? Well, I slept with the surgeon so he'd do it."
"Oh my God," says the husband. "You saved my life. And what was the third time?"
"Well," says his wife, "Remember when you wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 52 votes short...?"

This is the psychiatry hotline,

If you are Obsessive- Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly,
If you are co- dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you,
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6,
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call,
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship,
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press,
If you're depressive it doesn't matter which number you'll press no one will answer you,
If you're dyslexic press 69696996966,
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until the beep after the beep, please wait for the beep,
If you have short-term memory loss, please try your call again later
and if you have low self-esteem, hang up, all operators are too busy to talk to you...

The Yin and Yang of dumplings and kebabs

An old asian man operates a store on the bottom floor of his house where he sells dumplings and kebabs. The dumplings are known for being the best in the entire city, but the kebabs are completely disgusting. The strange thing is, whenever you order a dumpling, you must also get a kebab with it. When people try to order just a dumpling, the old man straight up refuses. Many people avoid the shop for this reason.
One day, the man's nephew comes in, and asks "uncle, you know everybody loves your dumplings and hates your kebabs, right? You could probably get more business if you only sold dumplings." The old man leans in with a knowing smile, and says "I know that everyone loves my dumplings and hates the kebabs... But for all the light in this world, there must also be dark. Where something good is found, there must also be something bad. It is the way of the universe. Also this house has no toilet."

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9…