Business Intelligence Jokes
6 business intelligence jokes and hilarious business intelligence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about business intelligence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Business Intelligence Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What is a good business intelligence joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Five guys in an audi Quattro...
...arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian customs officer stops them and says,
"It'sa i**... to p**... five people in a Quattro."
"What are you talking about?" the driver asked.
"Quattro meansa four, and you are five-a people."
"Quattro is just the name of the car."
"Don'ta think you can fool me! Quattro meansa four and you are five-a people, you are breakinga the law."
"You idiot! Call your supervisor, I need to speak with someone with more intelligence!"
"He can'ta come."
"Why not?"
"He'sa busy witha two guys in an Uno."
A CIA employee retired to start a kitchen remodeling business...
It's called counter intelligence.
A business was looking for office help and puts a sign on the window
The sign reads: "HELP WANTED: We are an equal opportunity employer looking for someone good with computers, Word, Excel and is bilingual"
One day a dog walks up, sees the sign and goes inside. He looks at the receptionist, looks back at the sign and barks.
Figuring out what the dog came here for, the receptionist gets the office manager, who looks at the dog surprised. However, the dog looked so confident that the manager leads him into the office, where the dog jumps on a chair and looks at the manager. The manager sits down, looks back at the dog and says "I can't hire you, the sign says that you have to be able to use a computer and Word."
The dog jumps down, walks to a computer and begins to create a word document, drafting a letter for the manager. Caught off guard but unconvinced, the manager says "The sign also says you have to be good with excel."
The dog then goes on to create a perfect spreadsheet that works flawlessly the first time.
Dumb-founded, the manager looks at the dog and says "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog with some interesting abilities. However, I still can't hire you."
The dog jumps down and walks over to a copy of the sign, putting his paw on the phrase "Equal Opportunity Employer".
The manager says "Yes, we are an equal opportunity employer. However, the sign also says you need to be bilingual." The dog looks at the manager confidently and says, "Meow."
A family of 5 in an Audi Quattro are driving through the south of Italy.
They stop for a ferry to Sicilia. A worker tells them to stop.
The driver says, "Why should we stop?"
The worker replies with, "You know, its i**... to have 5 people in a Quattro.
D (driver): Why?
W(worker): Quattro means 4. There are 5 of you, one will have to stay behind.
D: **HERE, HAVE A LOOK AT THE b**... PAPERS AND YOU WILL SEE IT'S BUILT FOR 5 PEOPLE.**
W: Nah, you aren't pulling that one on me!
D: **LET ME TALK TO YOUR MANAGER OR YOUR SUPERVISOR OR ANYONE MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU!**
W: My supervisor is busy with those two b**... in a Fiat Uno.
CIA assessment center
After the standard round of interviews, a good dozen of applicants sit before the director of the CIA office.
"Trust is central to our business, ladies and gentlemen. Still, intelligence, precision and punctuality are nearly as essential. So, to the test: You have an envelope with a coded address on it. It contains important top secret data for someone in this office building. Get this sensitive information to him."
The applicants scurry away with their red labeled envelopes, each trying to crack the code and simultaneously making their way through the labyrinthine vastness of the CIA office building.
Only one applicant rounds the corner and, after looking left and right, breaks the "TOP SECRET" seal and rips open the envelope. Inside, he finds a sheet of paper, that says: "Misuse of trust is central to our business. Come back to my office to sign your contract."
A small business fell on hard times
and the owner knew that the only way for his company to survive, he would have to let one of his employees go.
He struggled with the decision for weeks. Jack was always willing to put in the extra hours to get the job done right and Jill was talented and intelligent, just the kinds of people that any small business needs.
He confided in Jill, hoping that maybe she would know how to fix the company without any firings. He said, "Hey Jill, listen. I either need to lay you or j**...."
Jill replied, "I'm really tired. Could you just j**...?"
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