Business As Usual Jokes
15 business as usual jokes and hilarious business as usual puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about business as usual that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Business As Usual Short Jokes
Short business as usual jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The business as usual humour may include short business operations jokes also.
- My yo-yo business is failing, and I don't know why! People usually love a no strings attached policy!
- A friendly reminder that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions So it's best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd
- I can see why mary and joseph couldnt find a hotel to stay at Usually Christmas gets places really busy
- To expand their business, CNN and NBC build airports. As usual, a lot of things fly over their heads.
- I usually dont spend much, but i always fly business class I don't like to be grounded while flying.
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Business As Usual One Liners
Which business as usual one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with business as usual? I can suggest the ones about everyday life and ordinary.
- I don't usually have much sass, But if I was selling peppers, I'd be jalapeño business.
Business As Usual Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about business as usual you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean typical jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make business as usual pranks.
Three world famous conductors walk into a bar
A fan comes up to them and asks them, What's your secret to being such a successful conductor?
Conductor 1: I just always remember to stay calm and do what I practiced
Conductor 2: I always think about doing it for my family
Conductor three stares at them with a confused look
He says, I don't know what you guys are doing, I'm usually busy making sure I'm not holding onto my electrons to tightly
A guy sees a granny selling cabbages.
The business is not good and no one seems to be interested in buying them. They all cost 5 dollars each. He decided to buy one. He continued to buy one each day until he just gave money for a cabbage without taking one.
Then one day as usual he gave 5 dollars, turned to leave but the granny stopes him. He turns around and asked her:
"What is it granny? Do you want to know why i buy cabbages without taking one?"
The granny looks at him and says:
"No, i just wanted to say the price grew. Now it costs 10 dollars!"
I need advice.
My wife and I were walking back to our car thru the Wal-Mart parking lot and I saw a wallet laying on the ground.
In it was the usual stuff, business cards, drivers licence, credit cards and $200.00.
I know that if you find a wallet or purse with a something in it with an address on it,
you can drop it in any public mail box and they will deliver it to the person that lost it, which intend to do.
my dilemma is about the $200.00.
Do I tell my wife about it or keep it all to myself?
Teacher makes a call to her student to inform: "I'm busy tomorrow, so our class will be off"
The student makes a call to his dad immediately: "I'm off tomorrow lets go to picnic!"
The dad makes a call to his secretary immediately: " I'm busy tomorrow, lets postpone our date to the next day!"
The secretary makes a call to her husband: "Honey, i'm not going out on a business trip tomorrow, lets hangout!"
The husband makes a call to the teacher: "Honey, my wife is off tomorrow, you don't come.
The teacher makes another call to the student: "Tomorrow we go to school as usual."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A newlywed wife makes her husband pay her a dollar before they have s**....
The husband shrugs and forks it over. This continues throughout the marriage; every time they have s**..., he has to pay her a buck.
The husband comes home one day many years later, earlier than usual, and informs the wife that he's lost his job, and he's unsure how they will continue. His wife shows him a bank statement with an account holding over $500,000. "Where did you get this?" he asks. "Remember that dollar you paid me ever time you wanted to have s**...? It added up over the years." The husband begins sobbing loudly, and the wife is mystified. "Why are you crying? We're saved!", she says. He replies, "If only I'd brought you ALL my business!"
Lord is my Savior
Father Jones was barely alive, clinging to the remaining wooden flanks of the sinking ship he was on. Rescue boats were busy rescuing other survivors in the ocean as soon as possible, but Father Jones wouldn't want any of that for himself. Being an ardent believer, he insisted *''Lord is my savior!''*, when a lifeboat came to rescue him. After almost an hour, another rescue boat came to search for anyone remaining alive, and they spotted Father Jones, who, as usual, insisted *''Lord is my savior!''*. The rescue boat finally went reluctantly.
Finally, after two hours, Father Jones managed to reach the Pearly Gates of Heaven. He prostrated before Jesus and said *"Lord my God, thank you for bestowing this grace upon me by showing yourself to me. I just have one question. All my life, I have firmly believed that you would always be there save me. Why did you not save me?"*
And Jesus spoke *"Well, my child, what do you think I was sending those rescue boats for?"*
Possibly the same nursing home.
An old man and woman become very close at a nursing home. He wants to take their friendship to the next level, but the old woman doesn't want to. He convinces her one day to "just hold it". She does this end enjoys being intimate with a man again. They continue this every day at the same time, in the same room, just her holding the old man's business.
One day she walks into the room at the usual time, but the old man is already in there with another woman.
Absolutely heartbroken, she cries out, "What does she have that I don't!"
The old man replies, "Parkinson's!"
:/
I went to the groceries because I wanted to buy one bottle of milk.
I have found out that I´ve got only 0,50 cent and the mild has cost 1 euro.
I have told the saleswoman that I have only 0,50 cent and I want to buy one bottle of milk.
She has solved the situation very practically.
She has taken the mop, went to the storage, cleaned the floor with spilled milk on it, she has pressed out the mop to the carry bag and gave it to me.
At home I have added this milk to the coffee, I have felt something like stones or something like that under my teeth, but the coffee was really tasty.
After that came my friends and the party has continued as usual.