The Best 68 Bushes Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bushes jokes. There are some bushes trail jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bushes bin laden and bush puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bushes Jokes and Puns

Hooker

Bubba was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.

"Twenty dollars", she whispers.

Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks, so they hide in the bushes.

They're in there for only a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It's a police officer. "What's going on here, people?", asks the officer.

"I'm making love to my wife!", Bubba answers sounding annoyed.

"Oh, I'm sorry", says the cop, "I didn't know."

Bubba says, "Well, neither did I, till ya shined that light in her face."

Two hobos are walking down the railroad tracks.

One says You know, just last month I found a woman here, tied to the tracks and left for dead.
The other hobo asks so what did you do?'
The first hobo replies I did what anybody else would do; I picked her up off the tracks, took her over to those bushes over there and had my way with her for a week.
Wow says the second hobo, did she give good head?'
The other hobo replies You know, I never did find the head.

Murder in Paris

A Frenchman is walking in the Bois de Boulogne forest in Paris when he sees a naked man having sex with a woman in the bushes. He approaches, curious, but notices that she is deathly pale and not moving. Alarmed he rushes off to find a policeman.

"Monsieur! Monsieur!" he shouts, when he finds a gendarme. "I found a man raping a dead woman in the bushes over there."

"Sacre bleu!" shouts the policeman, and rushes off to investigate.

But a few minutes later he returns, smiling wryly, and says, "Non, Monsieur, she is not dead. She is English."

Bushes joke, Murder in Paris

A physicist, a biologist and a statistician go hunting.

They are hiding together in the bushes and they see a deer 70ft ahead of them. The physicist makes some calculations, aims and fires at the deer. His shot ends up 5ft to the left of the deer. The biologist analyzes the deer's movement, aims and fires. His shot ends up 5ft to the right of the deer. The statistician drops his rifle and happily shouts, "WE GOT IT!!"

name puns! add to the list

what do you call a man:

-with a shovel?
-Doug

-without a shovel?
-Douglas

-in the bushes?
-Russel

-floating in the ocean?
-Bob

-with a gun?
-sir.

What do you call a woman:

-with one leg?
-Eileen


What did the Doe say when she walked out of the bushes?

I'll never do that for two bucks again.

Did you hear there was a fire in George Bushes personal library?

It was awful! Most of his books hadn't even been colored in yet.

Bushes joke, Did you hear there was a fire in George Bushes personal library?

A koala goes to a brothel

So a koala goes to a brothel and does the deed with the prostitute. When they are finished, he gets up and starts to head out the door. The prostitute stops him and says "Hey! The definition of prostitute is we have sex for money!" The koala looks at her and says, "Well the definition of koala is eats bushes and leaves."

A little girl and her mother are at Church...

...when the little girl starts to feel sick. Her mother tells her to go throw up in the bushes behind the church.

When the little girl returns, her mother asks her if she threw up.
"Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way around the back. There was a box near the front door that said 'For the Sick.'"

My favorite dinosaur

My favorite dinosaur is the Clitorous, its is the smallest of the dinosaurs, it is also hard to find because it likes to hide in the bushes

Credit goes to comedian Etta May.

"Now little ones, where do children go when they do bad things...?", Mrs Mary asked.

"I know! I know!", Little Johnny said with vigour, " they go behind the bushes in the playground!"

"Please little Johnny, mind what you say"

"Oh its true Mrs Mary!", voiced Susan enthusiastically, "T.J took me there and showed me his Weiner."

The teacher gasped in horror as T.J smiled mischievously.

"Oh, it was like a peanut it was!"

"Hah, so it was tiny?", the teacher relieved, asked.

"No, salty!"

You can explore bushes emerge reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bushes tree dad jokes. There are also bushes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Totally Nerdy Joke: Einstein, Newton, and Pascal playing hide and seek

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek. It's einstein's turn to count. Pascal runs away and hides under some bushes. Newton draws a large box in the dirt and stands inside it. Einstein finishes counting, sees Newton and declares "Aha! Newton, I found you!" Newton replies "No, you found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."

I would help you carry some of those bushes...

but I've already got two palms on my hands.

A little boy sees his father emerging from the shower...

... and wide-eyed, asks "What is that?" His flustered father answers "Well, son, that's my nerve." Later that day the boy is playing in his neighbor's yard and takes a leak in her bushes. She spots the boy in the act and hollers "You've got a lot of nerve!" The boy replies, "If you think that's a lot, you should see my dad..."

Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench, when suddenly a guy jumps out of the bushes and flashes them.

The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady couldn't reach.

Father & Son

A father and son are going for a walk.

The son turns to the father, and asks "did you know cows can give milk?"
The father replies "so do some sheep."

They walk a bit more, and the son asks "did you know trees can grow fruit?"
The father replies "so do some bushes."

They walk a little further down the trail and the son asks "did you know pickles come from cucumbers?"
The father replies "so do some girls!"

Bushes joke, Father & Son

Who was the most racist president?

Bill Clinton. He hid from the black guy in between the Bushes.

What kind of Pokemon hides in the bushes outside of delis?

Peek-a-Jew

What do you call two people having sex in the bushes?

Thornication


Jeb Bush should come out as being gay to get the Jewish vote.

Jews have a strong record of listening to flaming bushes.

What does Jeb Bush have in common with a threesome?

A lot of people think three bushes is one bush too many.

What's a large bird hiding in the bushes called?

A lurkey turkey.

What do you call a German paedophile hiding in the playground bushes?

Kinder Surprise!

Three nuns are met by a flasher.

So three nuns are walking together after morning services, when a pervert in a trenchcoat jumps out of some bushes and flashes them.

The first nun, she had a stroke.

The second nun also had a stroke.

The third nun didn't touch him.

I found girl lying on railroad tracks. I untied her, took her into bushes and we had great sex. No head, though.

I never found it.

Three nuns were sitting in the park..

when, all of a sudden, a man jumped out of the bushes, opened his trenchcoat and flashed them. Two of the nuns had a stroke, but the third one couldn't quite reach.

3 old women sitting on a park bench one sunday morning

when a guy jumps out of the bushes, flashes them, then runs off. Due to the ordeal the first woman, she had a stroke. The second woman also had a stroke. The third woman ... well, her arms were too short to reach.

They say money doesn't grow on trees

But my cousin planted a few bushes with a funny smell in his wardrobe and is now making 4k a week

If we could be stuffed by a president...

..it would have happened in the bushes.

[NSFW] You know what's ironic?

That Bill Clinton's term was between two Bushes.

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.

The first lady had a stroke, the second lady had a stroke, but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.

Where was Bill Clinton during his presidency?

He was right between the Bushes.

My ex-girlfriend says she has a stalker. I have to say I'm surprised.

In all the time I've spent hanging around her house, hiding in the bushes, watching her come and go...I've never seen any signs of a stalker.

TIFU by accidentally trimming by neighbor's bushes.

Whoops, wrong shrub.

Events like 9/11 don't grow on trees

They grow on Bushes

What's a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.

If Bill Clinton were gay, where would he hide?

In the Bushes.

Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein is counting down while Newton and Pascal are trying to hide. Pascal jumps into the bushes and Newton walks a few steps, picks up a stick, draws a square on the ground and just stands there. Einstein turns around and instantly spots Newton.

- Found you Newton, you lose!
- Now wait a minute good sir, can't you see what I drew below me? I am a Newton on a square meter so technically you found Pascal.

If President Clinton had a show it would be called...

Between two Bushes

My sperm are like drunk drivers

Always crashing in the bushes.

My ex told me she had a stalker

I stayed in the bushes for hundreds of hours and still haven't found one

Ever Since it Begun Snowing, All My Girlfriend has Done is Stare Out the Window

She almost caught me in the bushes...

Roses are red, Violets are red,

Bushes are red,
Trees are red,
My garden is on fire.

Bill Clinton really likes Obama's new portrait.

Now he's not the only President who has been surrounded by Bushes.

There was a nun walking home to the convent.

She had to pass through a forest. While on the trail, a man jumps from behind the bushes and had is way.
What will you tell the Holy Father now Sister? he asked.
I'll tell him I was walking through the woods when a man jumped from behind the bushes and raped me twice, unless you're tired.

Girl: You know that feeling you get when you think you're being watched, but when you turn to look you to see that no one's there?

*I wanted to tell her that I could totally relate, and that the feeling was deja vu for me. Though if I said anything it'd just give away my hiding spot in the bushes.*

A raggedy old nun was walking home ....

.... from the convent one evening, when an old man jumped out of the bushes and had his way with her.

The man laughed and said: "What will you tell the Holy Father NOW, Sister?"

And the nun replied: "I can't lie to the Lord! I must say I was walking home from the convent when a man jumped out from the bushes, attacked me and had his way with me TWICE...... Unless you're too tired?"

I was out duck hunting with Olivia Wilde.

After a while, Olivia spotted a massive duck in the distance and insisted that I hunt it down.

I started to follow it, through bushes and brambles, woods and fields, over hills and through valleys, until finally, I caught up with it. The huge duck turned in my direction, honked and started running after me...

It was at that moment I realised, I wasn't pursuing a duck for Olivia, I was on a Wilde goose chase.

Where does President Clinton come?

On a blue dress between two bushes.

My family is putting an electrical plug in our elm tree.

They were going to put it in the bushes, but I convinced them that a tree-prong outlet would be better for the ground.

---------

"Tree-prong outlet" stolen from an engineer I was talking to today, but joke format is all mine.

Relationships take effort from both sides to work.

If she is going to call the cops every time she sees me in her bushes, I don't think this is going to work.

Bless you

My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said" Bless you"

Now she is just staring at the bushes, confused wondering who said that?

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench.

All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the nearby bushes and flashes them.

One old lady had a stroke, the other couldn't reach.

It was a dark and stormy night, and there was a rustle in the bush.

Get out of the bushes Russell!

I poured some bong water out on a plant, turns out they don't like weed

Bushes prefer cocaine

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek, with Einstein seeking. As he counts down, Pascal goes and hides in the bushes but Newton stands in front of him, takes out a piece of chalk, and draws a square around himself on the ground. When Einstein reaches 0, he looks up and sees Newton and declares, "I've found Newton!"

Newton replies, "No you haven't. You've found one Newton over a square meter. You've found Pascal!"

One night, there was a rustle in the bushes.

His mom shouted, "Russel, get out of the bushes!"

Who hides between the bushes?

Bill.

My grandpa was telling me about when he used to hunt tigers.

He said, "this one time I was alone in the jungle when out of the bushes, right in front of me, a huge tiger leaped out suddenly and went RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!! Kid, you won't believe it, I shat myself."

I raised my eyebrows. "You bet I believe it, I'd have shat myself too if that happened to me."

"That's not what I mean goddamnit, go fetch me some toilet paper."

A man and a woman are sleeping together

A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!" She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?"

I think the 6" tall currant bushes I bought today were mislabeled.

They're really more "future bushes," when you think about it.

I told my wife I was going for a walk, but as soon as I got outside, some thugs jumped out of the bushes and tried to steal my wallet.

I ran back into the house and locked the door.

"So, how was your walk", she asked.

"I didn't go, it's way too muggy."

Another three nuns joke....Three nuns are walking home late one night when suddenly they are attacked by three men.

The men pull them into the bushes and begin to assault them.

The first nun, clutching her rosary beads says, "forgive him Lord, he knows not what he does."

The second one closes her eyes and says, "forgive him Lord, he knows not what he does."

The third nun says, "this one does."

It is important to remember that Bill Clinton

Spent his entire presidency between two Bushes.

Little Red Riding Hood walks alone through the dark forest.

Suddenly she hears a rustling behind a thick bush.

She pushes the branches and bushes aside and suddenly the big bad wolf is sitting in front of her.

"Oh, bad wolf. Why do you have such big red eyes?"

"Get out of here. I'm pooping!"

What do you call a man hiding in the bushes?

Russell........

A group of dudes are walking through the park

They see a young pair banging in the bushes. One of the dudes can't help himself but comment:

"Hey, man, leave some for us!"

"I can't, I inserted everything."

Who were the greenest Presidents in US history?

The Bushes

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bushes einstein picasso bush jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bushes george w bush piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes