Burt Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

What do you call a cremated Burt Reynolds?

Burnt Reynolds.

So, Burt and Ernie are just sitting at home,

when Burt looks over at Ernie and asks, "Hey Ernie, do you want to get some ice cream?" Then Ernie said, "Sure Burt."

Burt and Mack are climbing Mount Everest.

Burt and Mack are climbing Mount Everest when suddenly Burt falls in to a crevasse 1000 ft. deep.
Hey Burt! Are you alive? shouts Mack from above.
Yeah I am.
I'm going to drop down a rope, grab onto it and I'll pull you out.
I can't. My arms are broken.
Okay then wrap your legs around them.
I can't. My legs are broken too.
Alright, then bite down real hard on the rope. I'll pull you up.
So Burt bites on the rope and Mack starts pulling.
1000 feet… 900 feet… 700 feet…. 500 feet…. 300 feet…
You alright Burt?
Yeahhhhhhhh….hhhhhhh…

I work with a guy who looks like Burt Reynolds.

He's from Ghana so we call him Burnt Reynolds.

If Burt Reynolds gets cremated

He will be Burnt Reynolds

Burt and Arthur are playing golf

As Burt is eyeing in a putt on the 14th, a funeral procession drives slowly down the road right next to the green. Burt drops his putter, removes his hat, bows his head and mutters in a respectful manner.
 

Arthur congratulates Burt on his display of respect and says he didn't know Burt had such respect for the deceased, especially in the middle of a shot.
 

Burt replies well usually I wouldn't bother, but after 45 years of marriage I guess it's only fair to her

Burt and Marcus

Burt's worked on the railroad for several years as a laborer but all the constant layoffs have got him looking into moving up in the business and he applies for a job working on the actual train. He gets called in for an interview and it's going ok when they get to the final question. The interviewer says "Burt, you are on Train A and it's traveling west at 75 mph but on the same track is Train B traveling east at 85 mph. There is no way for Train A to stop or slow down. What would you do?" Burt hems and haws for a few minutes and then tells the interviewer "Well, I reckon I'd call my brother Marcus."

"Call your brother? Why"

"Well, Marcus ain't never seen no big train wreck before."

News.. Burt Reynolds dead.

his family say he will be cremated. So this time he will be more smokey than bandit.

Too soon?

How long til somebody writes a rap song about Burt Reynolds?

What are the funniest burt jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Burt? Well, here are the best Burt puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Burt pick up lines to share with friends.

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