Burst Jokes
116 burst jokes and hilarious burst puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about burst that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of hilarious jokes related to concepts such as burst pipes, burst tyres, burst appendix, burst bubbles and more! Laugh out loud with crack jokes and hysterics guaranteed to bring an outburst of laughter when shared with friends. Enjoy a good chuckle with these Beyblade Burst themed jokes!
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Funniest Burst Short Jokes
Short burst jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The burst humour may include short breaker jokes also.
- Boy: What's a palindrome?
Teacher: racecar
{10 years later}
Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak] - Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears... 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...
- *burst into doctor's office* ME: I'm no longer canstopetid
DOCTOR: You mean constipated
ME: No I've had a vowel movement
DOCTOR: Get out - I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals. Well, that balloon has burst.
- A farmer just burst into tears because nobody likes eating his apples anymore... I told him to grow a pear.
- Rupert Grint bursts into the room, "Mum, I just got a part in the Harry Potter movie!" "Serious?"
"No, Ron." - Knock knock Knock Knock!
Who's there?
It's Dave!
Dave who?
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him. - I was mugged at a bus station, and burst in to tears. A police officer came up to me and said 'I'm fining you £60'.
I said, 'oh, for crying out loud'
The police officer said 'yes' - Did you hear about that kid that got overwhelmed and burst into tears when his parents threw him a huge Thor themed 6th birthday party? He wanted something a little more Loki.
- Did you know that, with enough pressure, the human lung will burst like a balloon? Anyway, I lost my medical license today.
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Burst One Liners
Which burst one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burst? I can suggest the ones about blast and bomb.
- I said I love you to my cake. It burst into tiers.
- What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm.
- i put tinder on my kindle it burst into flames
- Bought a new jacket the other day and it burst into flames. Well, it was a blazer.
- Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He just burst in there, buns glazing!
- I burst into tears right before my physics exam. The proctor asked, "What's the matter?"
- A flower shop burst into flame... It was a florist fire.
- When did a gut feeling save your life? When my appendix burst.
- I guess Maroon 5... Burst our bubble(bowl).
- Hate to burst your bubble, but.. the mixture needs more glycerin.
- What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst? God Dam It!
- Sheriff dog bursts into the saloon and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
- Why did the 40-year-old midwife burst into tears? She was having a midwife crisis.
- Why is the real estate market in Gungan City so bad? The housing bubbles burst
- My wife told me I'm too dramatic. I almost burst into tears.
Burst Flames Jokes
Here is a list of funny burst flames jokes and even better burst flames puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How is France like francium? They both burst into flames when coming in contact with anything.
- A lawyer and a priest are walking down the street, when the lawyer sneezes. "Bless you", says the priest. The lawyer promptly burst into flames.
- What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire? One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire.
- John Boehner is lucky Pope Francis didn't splash any holy water on him. He wouldn't have been crying. He would have burst into flames.
- The United CEO, the Pepsi head of marketing, and Sean Spicer walk into a bar. The bar bursts into flames.
- An old southern farmer is out one day with his dog repairing a fence row when suddenly part of it bursts into flames.. Wow I did not expect this post to blow up.
- Christopher Nolan was directing a scene when the chopper Batman was flying suddenly burst into flames. Nolan yelled, "CHRISTIAN, BAIL!!"
- In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
- What is it called when you insult an Indian so bad that he bursts into flames? A Sikh burn
- What do you call a neo-n**... that's burst into flames A fire c**...
Burst Your Bubble Jokes
Here is a list of funny burst your bubble jokes and even better burst your bubble puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The day after Thanksgiving someone wished me Happy Turkey Recovery Day Sorry to burst your bubble, but those turkeys aren't recovering from yesterday.
Humorous Burst Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about burst you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trap jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make burst pranks.
CPR
I popped my head over my s**... neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini.
"Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR."
"Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?"
"No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."
The Bank Robber
A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There were a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."
(credit to wetwillyone)
My young daughter asked me this morning....
My young daughter asked me this morning, "Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night? I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream."
"Nothing, darling," I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half-s**... head.
For weeks, Tommy was telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister who was going to be coming to his house soon.
One day at home, Tommy's mother let him feel the baby k**.... Tommy didn't say anything, and he stopped talking about the baby at school. Finally the teacher sat Tommy down and said, "Whatever happened to your new baby sister?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think my mummy ate her!"
Latvian Joke
Man sits in broken cottage with daughter. Man is cold and hungry. Man not have potato for days.
"Knock, knock" is heard at door.
"Who there is" man say.
"Politburo"
"Politburo who" say man.
Politburo burst in cottage r**... daughter. Man now cold, hungry and sad.
I went to kuwait, found no squirrels there..
No animal can sustain a burst of oil everytime they bury a nut.
My grandma was getting her IV put in for her euthanasia...
"Please don't put it in my hand, that will hurt for a week!" The doctor glares over to her as she burst out laughing
Tough choice in Florida governor's race...
Charlie Crist and Rick Scott are standing at opposite ends of a theater when both men spontaneously burst into flames and there's only one fire extinguisher in the entire building!
Where would you hide the fire extinguisher?
A mom buys an old parrot from a w**.....
A mom buys an old parrot in a w**... and proceeds to bring it home for the family to enjoy their new pet.
As she brings the parrot inside the house the parrot says "ah, new house!" and she bursts in laughter.
Later that day, the daughters arrive from school and promptly the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes!" and they all burst in laughter.
Some time goes by, and after a long day of work the dad finally arrives home, and without wasting time, the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes, same old customers. Good night Mr. Williams"
My sister came out of the closet last week
She invited her girlfriend over to our house over the weekend.
My dad asked them, "So, do you guys plan on eating here or eating out?"
He burst out laughing and ran up the stairs giggling...
[Not mine]
A cardiologist died...
..and was given an elaborate f**.... A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing the doctor inside, forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said: "I'm sorry. I was just thinking of my own f**.....I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.
My 8 year old son made me laugh with a dad joke...
We were trying to decide where to eat, I offered up Buffalo Wild Wings, but my son and daughter were being indecisive. I finally said ok guys, make up your mind My son replied with a c**... grin "C'mon Mom we'll just wing it"...he then burst into laughter for five minutes....his fathers humor is really rubbing off on him.
I know a hypnotist who could control the whole audience.
He'd enter the room, say 'sleep' and everyone would fall asleep.
He'd say ''laugh'', the audience would burst out laughing.
One day, he entered the room where he would make his show as usual, but tripped in the stairs; and yelled '**...''!
The room took three hours to clean.
A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.
"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"
I used to be a telemarketer
I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.
"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.
I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:
"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."
As the navy seals burst into o**... bin ladens room in his pakistani compound, his last dying words forever wrung in the ears of the seals...
"It was just a prank bro"
A man goes to recieve tests results from the doctor
A worried man goes to recieve tests results from the doctor. Stepping into the office, he says "Give it to me straight doc! Just do it!"
The doctor replies, "No, I'm not gay."
They both burst into laughter. "Besides", the doctor says, "I don't want h**..."
I told my dad I wanted to get gay married. He burst into tears.
Then he said yes and we went ring shopping
I was reading a book about paint today and I just burst into tears
I was overcome by emulsion
Your cat died
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?
Husband: She is playing on the roof.
What bursts when dropped , but can never be caught
A f**....
A three-legged dog burst into a saloon and declares...
"I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw!"
I've started competing in discus meets
I almost won a trophy yesterday. I threw the discus really far, but this other competitor named Gus got my throw erased. He said my throw got lifted by a burst of wind, so he went to the track officials.
This Gus discussed his disgust on the discus.
What type of fuel do painters prefer?
Whatever makes the van gogh..
-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as s**... as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.
What is the cheesiest line you ever said to anyone?
Me: Double cheese margherita with cheese burst crust and triple layer extra cheese.
A man run homes excitedly, burst open the front door and yells to his wife "Honey! I won the lottery, pack your bags!" The wife excitedly jumps up hand grabs her suitcase and begins throwing clothes in it. She says "Ohmygod, that's amazing! Where should I pack for?"
The man replies " I don't care! Just get out!"
Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife
"To my wife, the love of my life, and the sexiest woman I know. But it's too bad only one of those three is here tonight!"
There was a burst of laughter from the crowd, but Frank's wife took it in stride, raising here glass for a toast of her own.
"To my husband, a good provider, and the father of my children. Too bad only one of those could make it."
After an hour long fight, my wife burst into tears when I grabbed her fancy new underwear from the dresser and threw it in the coffee grinder.
There's no use crying over milled silk.
A miner said he could make anyone laugh
He showed me something
And I immediately burst out laughing
What was it?
A shiny yellow stone
It was comedy gold
A plane was about to take off when a man burst out of the cockpit n**..., yelling
"this is your captain streaking"
My friend burst into my room, complaining that someone stole his sisters peas. He was shocked when I told him...
I have h**....
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. I would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, "did somebody say let's get physics Al?
A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle.
A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle. Suddenly a genie burst forth and yelled,
"YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY 1000 YEAR PRISON, WHAT DO YOU DESIRE? I WILL GIVE YOU THREE WISHES!"
The Hippie looks at the genie and says, "Cool man. I want too be Uptight, Out of sight, and in the groove."
So the genie turns him into a t**....
Ig the Knight
Once upon a time, there was a soldier named Ig. In a recent battle, Ig showed courage and bravery, saving 20 men by himself!
To honour Ig's heroic act, the Queen of the kingdom was to knight him. Ig knelt before Her Majesty, as she tapped each shoulder of his with a sword. As she finished, Ig the Knight burst into flames! The Queen, astonished by what happened, asked her squire why he lit on fire.
Stunned, the squire spoke, "Ig...Knighted..."
I'm a Latino nurse and while I was doing my rounds, one of the surgeons burst out of the operating room and told me to help finish the operation.
I cut the patient's o**... on the wrong spot but luckily I miscalculated and saved their life. No one thought I could do it and I shocked them all. Nobody expected the Spanish missed the incision.
A man burst into a bar with a revolver on his hand
The man yelled at the top of his lungs
"WHICH ONE OF YOU HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE?"
The whole bar went silent, one man stood up and replied
"You're gonna need more than six bullets pal!"
My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!
So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"
Two married ladies go for a girly holiday to the Carribbean
They meet a handsome muscular black man on the first day.
They have a wild week of threesomes and parties, and on the last day the ladies say we never asked you your name.
He replies "my name is snow"
The ladies immediately burst out laughing.
The man looking rather upset asks why they are laughing.
And the ladies say "I don't think our husbands will believe that we got 10 inches of snow in the Caribbean.
A man in an oldschool hockey mask and wielding a butcher's knife burst into my home yelling "two plus ten is fifteen!"
I said: "I'm afraid. That's incorrect."
The Doctor & The Plumber
A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!."
The plumber quietly answered, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."
A gunslinger burst into a saloon and said, "My name is Amarillo Red!"
"but my friends call me 'Orange' for short."
and yes, today I learned Amarillo is Spanish for yellow.
A vietnamese contract killer named Pung burst into a bar and promptly murdered the 10 people inside.
Pung in, ten dead.
I was walking down the street when a group of kids threw a block of cheese off me, they burst into laughter and I yelled
That's not mature is it
On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month
How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!
It was 11 years ago today that my best friend burst through the door, tears streaming down his face, yelling out, It's a boy! It's a boy!
We haven't been back to Thailand since.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?"
I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Billy saw the barn was ablaze, sprinted down the street, burst into a bar room full of gunslingers and shouted "Fire! Fire!"
And they did.
The devil
One day the devil came to a church Ina burst of smoke and flame. He ran up and down the aisles shouting "l**... is my name!" "I am evil incarnate, the sum of all your fears!" An old man faced him, said "you don't scare me, I've been married to your sister for the last 48 years!"
My two year-old son told his first joke today. Afterwards, he burst out laughing for about 5 minutes straight saying 'I'm so funny' over and over again.
The joke.
Son comes in carrying a soft toy, a cow.
Son: "Mummy Mummy cow is being noisy!"
Mummy: "How is cow being nois---"
Son: "Moooooooo!!!!"
Then bursts into loud laughter.
Love this kid!
I called my son a b**... disappointment and my girlfriend burst out into tears
Appartently, she's sensitive about her miscarriage
My son got busted at school for m**....
When I got home, I burst into his room shouting you can't be doing stuff like that boy, you'll go blind!
He said, I'm over here Dad!
I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake
We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, I love you."
The cake burst into tiers.
A man named his children second, minute and hour, and thus he was nicknamed father time
One day, they was all in their house and a robber burst through the front door and said, 'nobody move!' When recalling the event, second said, it was like time stood still'
Today my son asked, "Can you lend me a book mark?"
I immediately burst into tears.
12 years old and he doesn't know my name is Brian.
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.
The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!
The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the m**... when she got pregnant!
All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!
t**... isn't a good name for a c**....
Didn't the real t**... horse burst and loads of little guys came pouring out of it?
What did the pirate say on his birthday?
Yarr, me parties!
(I told this to my 8-month old and she burst into tears, so I know it's good!)
A cardiac specialist died and at his f**... the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.
Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own f**..." the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."
A drunkard was brought to court for dunkenis behavior
The Judge addressed the drunkard, "You have been brought here for drinking."
Drunkard, "Thank you very much your honour. Let's start."
All, present in the court, burst out laughing.
b**... the gavel, the Judge said, "Order."
Drunkard, "For me Whiskey with Soda please."
A couple of years ago, I was staying at a tiny Spanish Inn
A couple of years ago, I was staying at a tiny Spanish Inn when I started to feel ill. Needing a doctor, I rang reception who said they'd get the hotel doctor to visit. I was rather surprised that such a small place would have a house doctor, and was just telling the manager this when my room door burst open and in leapt a man yelling "Nobody expects the Spanish Inn physician!"
