Burst Jokes
113 burst jokes and hilarious burst puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about burst that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A collection of hilarious jokes related to concepts such as burst pipes, burst tyres, burst appendix, burst bubbles and more! Laugh out loud with crack jokes and hysterics guaranteed to bring an outburst of laughter when shared with friends. Enjoy a good chuckle with these Beyblade Burst themed jokes!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Burst Short Jokes
Short burst jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The burst humour may include short breaker jokes also.
- Boy: What's a palindrome?
Teacher: racecar
{10 years later}
Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak] - Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears... 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...
- *burst into doctor's office* ME: I'm no longer canstopetid
DOCTOR: You mean constipated
ME: No I've had a vowel movement
DOCTOR: Get out - A farmer just burst into tears because nobody likes eating his apples anymore... I told him to grow a pear.
- Rupert Grint bursts into the room, "Mum, I just got a part in the Harry Potter movie!" "Serious?"
"No, Ron." - Knock knock Knock Knock!
Who's there?
It's Dave!
Dave who?
Dave bursts into tears, realizing that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him. - I was mugged at a bus station, and burst in to tears. A police officer came up to me and said 'I'm fining you £60'.
I said, 'oh, for crying out loud'
The police officer said 'yes' - Did you hear about that kid that got overwhelmed and burst into tears when his parents threw him a huge Thor themed 6th birthday party? He wanted something a little more Loki.
- Did you know that, with enough pressure, the human lung will burst like a balloon? Anyway, I lost my medical license today.
- My mum burst into tears as I placed her 50th Birthday card in her hands, she said "One really would of been enough"
Share These Burst Jokes With Friends
Burst One Liners
Which burst one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burst? I can suggest the ones about blast and trap.
- I said I love you to my cake. It burst into tiers.
- What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm.
- i put tinder on my kindle it burst into flames
- Bought a new jacket the other day and it burst into flames. Well, it was a blazer.
- I burst into tears right before my physics exam. The proctor asked, "What's the matter?"
- A flower shop burst into flame... It was a florist fire.
- When did a gut feeling save your life? When my appendix burst.
- I guess Maroon 5... Burst our bubble(bowl).
- Hate to burst your bubble, but.. the mixture needs more glycerin.
- What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst? God Dam It!
- Sheriff dog bursts into the saloon and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
- Why did the 40-year-old midwife burst into tears? She was having a midwife crisis.
- Why is the real estate market in Gungan City so bad? The housing bubbles burst
- My wife told me I'm too dramatic. I almost burst into tears.
- Tumblr. *drops mic, loud burst of feedback*
Burst Flames Jokes
Here is a list of funny burst flames jokes and even better burst flames puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How is France like francium? They both burst into flames when coming in contact with anything.
- A lawyer and a priest are walking down the street, when the lawyer sneezes. "Bless you", says the priest. The lawyer promptly burst into flames.
- What's the difference between a ginger girl and a vampire? One bursts into flames in the sunlight, and the other is a vampire.
- The United CEO, the Pepsi head of marketing, and Sean Spicer walk into a bar. The bar bursts into flames.
- An old southern farmer is out one day with his dog repairing a fence row when suddenly part of it bursts into flames.. Wow I did not expect this post to blow up.
- Christopher Nolan was directing a scene when the chopper Batman was flying suddenly burst into flames. Nolan yelled, "CHRISTIAN, BAIL!!"
- In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
Burst Your Bubble Jokes
Here is a list of funny burst your bubble jokes and even better burst your bubble puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The day after Thanksgiving someone wished me Happy Turkey Recovery Day Sorry to burst your bubble, but those turkeys aren't recovering from yesterday.
Humorous Burst Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about burst you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bang jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make burst pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
CPR
I popped my head over my s**... neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini.
"Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR."
"Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?"
"No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."
The Bank Robber
A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber's face.
The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There were a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."
(credit to wetwillyone)
Court Case
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,
she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.
The man replied,
'Well your Honor, it was like this:
when the lady got on the bus,
I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat down under a sign that said,
'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,
'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.
But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time
and sat under a sign that said,
'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'
... I just lost it.'
'CASE DISMISSED!!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My young daughter asked me this morning....
My young daughter asked me this morning, "Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night? I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream."
"Nothing, darling," I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half-s**... head.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For weeks, Tommy was telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister who was going to be coming to his house soon.
One day at home, Tommy's mother let him feel the baby k**.... Tommy didn't say anything, and he stopped talking about the baby at school. Finally the teacher sat Tommy down and said, "Whatever happened to your new baby sister?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think my mummy ate her!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Latvian Joke
Man sits in broken cottage with daughter. Man is cold and hungry. Man not have potato for days.
"Knock, knock" is heard at door.
"Who there is" man say.
"Politburo"
"Politburo who" say man.
Politburo burst in cottage r**... daughter. Man now cold, hungry and sad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The President, the First Lady, a boy scout and a pilot are on a plane.
(Not sure if this one has been submitted already)
Suddenly, a bird gets stuck in one of the engines, causing it to burst into flames. The pilot tells the passengers that the plane will c**..., but there are only 3 parachutes on the plane.
The president grabs one and says, "I am the most important man in the country! The people need me!" and quickly jumps out of the plane.
The first lady grabs another parachute and says, "How will the president be able to manage his children without his wife?" and jumps out of the plane as well.
Now, only the boy scout and the pilot are on the plane. The pilot says, "You should go. You have more of your life ahead of you than I do. Go on and change the world."
The boy scout says, "We can both go, there are two parachutes left!"
"Huh? How is that possible? There were only 3 parachutes!"
"The president took my backpack. C'mon, lets go now!"
I went to kuwait, found no squirrels there..
No animal can sustain a burst of oil everytime they bury a nut.
My grandma was getting her IV put in for her euthanasia...
"Please don't put it in my hand, that will hurt for a week!" The doctor glares over to her as she burst out laughing
Tough choice in Florida governor's race...
Charlie Crist and Rick Scott are standing at opposite ends of a theater when both men spontaneously burst into flames and there's only one fire extinguisher in the entire building!
Where would you hide the fire extinguisher?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An uneducqted p**... goes by an elementary school.
She hears a class in progress and is interested. She approaches the classroom window and hears the teacher "..What comes after N?" "P!" The children shout in unison. The teacher continues "Now can someone tell me what comes after P" the p**... in a fit of excitement burst out "BURNING!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mom buys an old parrot from a w**.....
A mom buys an old parrot in a w**... and proceeds to bring it home for the family to enjoy their new pet.
As she brings the parrot inside the house the parrot says "ah, new house!" and she bursts in laughter.
Later that day, the daughters arrive from school and promptly the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes!" and they all burst in laughter.
Some time goes by, and after a long day of work the dad finally arrives home, and without wasting time, the parrot says "ah, new house, new prostitutes, same old customers. Good night Mr. Williams"
My sister came out of the closet last week
She invited her girlfriend over to our house over the weekend.
My dad asked them, "So, do you guys plan on eating here or eating out?"
He burst out laughing and ran up the stairs giggling...
[Not mine]
I was getting the kids out of the bath last night when a complete stranger burst through the door.
I swear I've never moved faster down a drainpipe.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My 8 year old son made me laugh with a dad joke...
We were trying to decide where to eat, I offered up Buffalo Wild Wings, but my son and daughter were being indecisive. I finally said ok guys, make up your mind My son replied with a c**... grin "C'mon Mom we'll just wing it"...he then burst into laughter for five minutes....his fathers humor is really rubbing off on him.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I know a hypnotist who could control the whole audience.
He'd enter the room, say 'sleep' and everyone would fall asleep.
He'd say ''laugh'', the audience would burst out laughing.
One day, he entered the room where he would make his show as usual, but tripped in the stairs; and yelled '**...''!
The room took three hours to clean.
A robber burst into a bank brandishing a gun and yelled at the teller.
"Give me the money! One false move and you're geography!"
The teller said "Don't you mean history?"
The robber screamed "Don't change the subject!"
I used to be a telemarketer
I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.
"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.
I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:
"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."
Imagine it, you're in an action movie, about to kick down a door and burst into the room killing all the baddies and your witty one-liner is...
Oops wrong theater.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the pimple say during s**...
I'm about to burst!
Being a good husband
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat. The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?
Husband: She is playing on the roof.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As the navy seals burst into o**... bin ladens room in his pakistani compound, his last dying words forever wrung in the ears of the seals...
"It was just a prank bro"
I told my dad I wanted to get gay married. He burst into tears.
Then he said yes and we went ring shopping
I was reading a book about paint today and I just burst into tears
I was overcome by emulsion
Your cat died
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?
Husband: She is playing on the roof.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What bursts when dropped , but can never be caught
A f**....
I've started competing in discus meets
I almost won a trophy yesterday. I threw the discus really far, but this other competitor named Gus got my throw erased. He said my throw got lifted by a burst of wind, so he went to the track officials.
This Gus discussed his disgust on the discus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What type of fuel do painters prefer?
Whatever makes the van gogh..
-id like to mention, for what its worth, that this is an original joke (as s**... as it is), which i thought of independently. I was and am proud of it. If anyone finds it somewhere else please burst my bubble.
What is the cheesiest line you ever said to anyone?
Me: Double cheese margherita with cheese burst crust and triple layer extra cheese.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a neo-n**... that's burst into flames
A fire c**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Johnny, could you please come up here and count to ten?
The teacher asked Johnny to come up to the front of the classroom and count to ten
Teacher: "What are waiting for Johnny?"
Johnny took a deep breath
Johnny: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5..."
Suddenly Johnny burst out crying and the teacher came running to him
Teacher: What's wrong Johnny, why did you stop at 5?
Johnny: "Because I feel so bad for 6!"
Teacher: "Why do you feel bad for it?"
Johnny: " O-On the news this m-morning it said '6 died in major car c**...'"
Frank's been drinking too much at the dinner party and decides to give a toast to his wife
"To my wife, the love of my life, and the sexiest woman I know. But it's too bad only one of those three is here tonight!"
There was a burst of laughter from the crowd, but Frank's wife took it in stride, raising here glass for a toast of her own.
"To my husband, a good provider, and the father of my children. Too bad only one of those could make it."
After an hour long fight, my wife burst into tears when I grabbed her fancy new underwear from the dresser and threw it in the coffee grinder.
There's no use crying over milled silk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The birds and the bees
Little Johnny's father calls Johnny in for a chat, and tells him he is about to talk to him about the birds and the bees.
Johnny immediately burst into tears and starts bawling his eyes out.
"What is the matter?" asks the father
Somehow in between the tears johnny answers:
"When I turned 10 you called me in for a talk and told me that Easter bunny wasn't real.
Then when I turned 11, you called me in to tell me that Santa Claus isn't real.
And if you now tell me that s**... is not real too, I have nothing left to live for!"
A miner said he could make anyone laugh
He showed me something
And I immediately burst out laughing
What was it?
A shiny yellow stone
It was comedy gold
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A plane was about to take off when a man burst out of the cockpit n**..., yelling
"this is your captain streaking"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend burst into my room, complaining that someone stole his sisters peas. He was shocked when I told him...
I have h**....
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert
Sometimes I wish that I was a physics Professor named Albert and that occasional situations would arise where somebody would come fetch me for consultation. I would burst into the room wearing a terry aerobics headband and exclaim, "did somebody say let's get physics Al?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle.
A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle. Suddenly a genie burst forth and yelled,
"YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY 1000 YEAR PRISON, WHAT DO YOU DESIRE? I WILL GIVE YOU THREE WISHES!"
The Hippie looks at the genie and says, "Cool man. I want too be Uptight, Out of sight, and in the groove."
So the genie turns him into a t**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Blonde, Brunette, and a Redhead are all pregnant and waiting for an ultrasound in the doctor's office.
As they are waiting, they begin to discuss what gender they each think their babies are going to be.
Well I know my baby is going to be a girl, said the Brunette. My husband and I were doing it m**... style when she was conceived.
Mine will be a boy! Said the redhead. I was riding on top of him when I got pregnant.
This causes the Blonde to burst hysterically into tears.
What's wrong? The other two asked.
I'm going to have puppies!
Ig the Knight
Once upon a time, there was a soldier named Ig. In a recent battle, Ig showed courage and bravery, saving 20 men by himself!
To honour Ig's heroic act, the Queen of the kingdom was to knight him. Ig knelt before Her Majesty, as she tapped each shoulder of his with a sword. As she finished, Ig the Knight burst into flames! The Queen, astonished by what happened, asked her squire why he lit on fire.
Stunned, the squire spoke, "Ig...Knighted..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm a Latino nurse and while I was doing my rounds, one of the surgeons burst out of the operating room and told me to help finish the operation.
I cut the patient's o**... on the wrong spot but luckily I miscalculated and saved their life. No one thought I could do it and I shocked them all. Nobody expected the Spanish missed the incision.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man burst into a bar with a revolver on his hand
The man yelled at the top of his lungs
"WHICH ONE OF YOU HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE?"
The whole bar went silent, one man stood up and replied
"You're gonna need more than six bullets pal!"
My wife shouted at me to go out and find her some tampons, quick!
So, I sprinted to the car, paced down the street, rushed into the store, frantically looking down each aisle until I finally got to the tampons, hurried back to my car and raced home as fast as I could! I burst in through the front door, ran up the stairs, slammed open the bathroom door and shouted, "Walmart, halfway down aisle 10, bottom shelf!"
Two married ladies go for a girly holiday to the Carribbean
They meet a handsome muscular black man on the first day.
They have a wild week of threesomes and parties, and on the last day the ladies say we never asked you your name.
He replies "my name is snow"
The ladies immediately burst out laughing.
The man looking rather upset asks why they are laughing.
And the ladies say "I don't think our husbands will believe that we got 10 inches of snow in the Caribbean.
A man in an oldschool hockey mask and wielding a butcher's knife burst into my home yelling "two plus ten is fifteen!"
I said: "I'm afraid. That's incorrect."
A gunslinger burst into a saloon and said, "My name is Amarillo Red!"
"but my friends call me 'Orange' for short."
and yes, today I learned Amarillo is Spanish for yellow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A vietnamese contract killer named Pung burst into a bar and promptly murdered the 10 people inside.
Pung in, ten dead.
I was walking down the street when a group of kids threw a block of cheese off me, they burst into laughter and I yelled
That's not mature is it
On March 27th, our math teacher burst into class and threatened to cancel Spring Break unless the one who's cheated on all their tests reveals themselves before next month
How are we supposed to catch a cheater in eight days?!
Billy saw the barn was ablaze, sprinted down the street, burst into a bar room full of gunslingers and shouted "Fire! Fire!"
And they did.
My two year-old son told his first joke today. Afterwards, he burst out laughing for about 5 minutes straight saying 'I'm so funny' over and over again.
The joke.
Son comes in carrying a soft toy, a cow.
Son: "Mummy Mummy cow is being noisy!"
Mummy: "How is cow being nois---"
Son: "Moooooooo!!!!"
Then bursts into loud laughter.
Love this kid!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The 3 Men and Fruits
3 men were captured by tribe men and were told to gather 5 fruits of the same kind and come back if they wanted to live.
The first man came back and was told to stick all 5 bananas up his a**... if he wanted to be released. If not he will be killed at the spot. He got 3 bananas up until he moaned in pain and was killed in an instant.
The second man came back with grapes and was told to do the same thing. He got 4 grapes up until he burst in laughter and was killed as well.
In heaven, the first man asked why he laughed when he was so close. The second man said when he was about to get the last one in, he saw the third man come back with pineapples...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I called my son a b**... disappointment and my girlfriend burst out into tears
Appartently, she's sensitive about her miscarriage
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bunch if prisoners are sitting around telling jokes
After being locked up for such a long time, they got tired of repeating the same jokes over and over again, so they decided to just give each joke a number.
12! yelled out one of the prisoners, and everyone burst out laughing.
49! yelled out another, and again everyone burst out laughing.
22! yelled out o**... from the back, and suddenly it was quiet. No one laughed. After a long moment of awkward silence, one of the inmates leaned over to another and said, Some guys just don't know how to tell a joke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My son got busted at school for m**....
When I got home, I burst into his room shouting you can't be doing stuff like that boy, you'll go blind!
He said, I'm over here Dad!
It was a typical night at a saloon in the Old West
The ranchers and townsmen were inside, drinking beer and having a good time. Some played poker, others watched the dancing girls, and music from the piano played in the background.
Suddenly, the saloon doors burst open and slammed against the walls. Everyone was startled, and the entire saloon got deathly quiet as everyone looked at the entrance.
In came a dog, walking on its hind legs, and its left front leg was in a sling.
The dog eyed the place over and said, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw!"
I was once in a pretty serious relationship with a cake
We went on several dates over the course of a few weeks. The chemistry was great and I thought we really had a connection. One special night I leaned in close to my cake and whispered, I love you."
The cake burst into tiers.
A man named his children second, minute and hour, and thus he was nicknamed father time
One day, they was all in their house and a robber burst through the front door and said, 'nobody move!' When recalling the event, second said, it was like time stood still'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.
The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!
The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the m**... when she got pregnant!
All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
t**... isn't a good name for a c**....
Didn't the real t**... horse burst and loads of little guys came pouring out of it?
What did the pirate say on his birthday?
Yarr, me parties!
(I told this to my 8-month old and she burst into tears, so I know it's good!)
