Burnt Jokes
145 burnt jokes and hilarious burnt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about burnt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Love to laugh? Check out this collection of hilarious jokes about burnt toast, chicken, pizza, out, turkey, bacon, burn, flame, and mixtapes. Whether it's a pun or a joke, you'll be sure to get a good chuckle out of this article.
Quick Jump To
- Short Burnt Jokes
- Burnt One Liners
- Burnt Out Jokes
- Burnt Pizza Jokes
- Burnt Toast Jokes
- Burnt Chicken Jokes
- More Burnt Jokes
Funniest Burnt Short Jokes
Short burnt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The burnt humour may include short burned jokes also.
- My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant... ...I can't pull anything out in time!
- What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common? A man who didn't take it out in time.
- What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common? You left it in too long.
- What does a burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant woman all have in common? An idiot who didn't take it out in time.
- I ordered a Hawaiian Pizza today, and it was burnt. It should have been cooked at aloha temperature.
- Did you hear about the guy who burnt his house down buy overcooking a Hawaiian pizza? ###He should have cooked it at aloha temperature...
I know where the door is. - What did a burnt pizza, pregnant girl and frozen beer can have in common? Nobody pulled out it time.
- I told my dumplings to be careful not to get burnt, but they said I was just trying to steam-roller them.
- What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common? In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.
- Obligatory Cake Day joke What do a pregnant woman and a burnt cake have in common?
Pulled out too late.
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Burnt One Liners
Which burnt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burnt? I can suggest the ones about badly burned and you got burned.
- Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.
- I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven...
- My wife worships me She puts burnt offerings in front of me everyday
- My wife treats me like a God Every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering.
- My dad's bread factory burnt down Now his business is toast
- I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today Should've used aloha temperature
- What do you call a cremated Burt Reynolds? Burnt Reynolds.
- My Buddies bakery burnt down last night.... His business is toast.
- What was so great about being a black jew? They already thought you were burnt
- I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night.. Should have put it on aloha setting
- A local cartoonists studio has burnt down. Police say that details are sketchy.
- I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other night I should have put it on aloha temperature
- I burnt a lot of calories today… I set a fat kid on fire.
- Just burnt my hawaiian pizza in my oven tonight.. Should have used aloha temperature....
- I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza last night. Must use Aloha setting.
Burnt Out Jokes
Here is a list of funny burnt out jokes and even better burnt out puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have cooked it on Aloha temperature.
- Did you hear Muhammad Ali burnt his hand in a few fights? That's what happens when you punch George Foreman in the grill.
- My day has been terrible. Friend: What's wrong?
Me: My beer is frozen, my pizza is burnt, and my girlfriend is pregnant.
Friend: You can't pull anything out on time, can you? - I just got completely burnt fries at a restaurant. It really is Black Fry Day.
- My wife is a deeply religious cook... Everything she makes is either a burnt offering or a sacrifice.
- I just burnt myself making Hawaiian pizza I should have put it on Aloha Temperature.
- The God of the Sun has burnt millions and millions of people... ... But that's ok, because he Apollo-gized.
- Did you hear about the temple that burnt down? Holy smokes.
- My reddish-brown toyota minivan caught on fire yesterday It's a burnt burnt sienna Sienna.
- What do you call heavily burnt pasta? Al Dante.
Burnt Pizza Jokes
Here is a list of funny burnt pizza jokes and even better burnt pizza puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why'd the pizza hipster have a burnt tongue? He ate it before it was cool.
- What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman, and a frozen beer have in common Somewhere along the line someone forgot to pull it out
- My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen, and my girlfriend is pregnant. It seems like I can't take anything out in time.
- What does a burnt pizza and a pregnant girl have in common? Someone that didn't take it out in time.
- How are burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend related? All come from not pulling out on time.
- Last night I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza. Last night I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza.
I should have used a Aloha setting. - Just burnt 2,000 calories... That'll be the last time I bake a pizza while I'm asleep!
- Do you know what pregnant teen, burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common? In every case some basted pulled out too late.
- Burnt myself on a microwaved Hawaiian pizza. Should have put it on aloha setting.
- What do a burnt pizza and a baby have in common? Some idiot pulled it out to late
Burnt Toast Jokes
Here is a list of funny burnt toast jokes and even better burnt toast puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call someone who can't eat burnt toast? Black toast intolerant.
- My friend owns a bakery Last week it burnt down
Now his business is TOAST - Don't cry over burnt toast That would just make it soggy.
- What's worse than 1 slice of burnt toast? The holocaust.
- My friends bakery burnt down last week Now his business is toast
- I have a medical condition that means I can die if I have burnt bread.. I am black toast intolerant
- What's worse than burnt toast?? The Holocaust
- How do you know when you honeymoon is over?
When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast. - Toast A slice of toast took his kid to the doc.
Apparently they'd been outside and his son burnt. - What do you call burnt bread? Toast
Burnt Chicken Jokes
Here is a list of funny burnt chicken jokes and even better burnt chicken puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They told me that if I cook my chicken with beer that it will be delicious And here I am all drunk and a burnt chicken.
Hilarious Fun Burnt Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about burnt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fire burn jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make burnt pranks.
Did you hear about the Irish man who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe.
what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common?
they all happened because some d**... didn't pull it out in time.
What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?
Some d**... forgot to pull it out in time.
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just some obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.
Actually it only takes one, but he burnt his fingers because he removed he old one before it was cool.
"Little Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"
"Little Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"
"My dad got burnt."
"Oh, that's terrible. I hope he wasn't burned too badly."
"Nah. They really know what they're doing at those crematoriums."
Little Jimmy goes to school
His teacher asks him "Why weren't you in school yesterday Jimmy?"
He says "Sorry, my Granddad got burnt."
"Oh" she says "Was he badly burnt?"
Jimmy replied "Well they normally do a good job at the crematorium"
What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?
An unfortu-naut...
God that was horrible....
Why does it smell like burnt plastic?
They just started Joan Rivers cremation.
RIP
After our house burnt down, the police said it could be someone we know...
My wife and I had one question. "Could it be arson?"
Two fill in the blank jokes for your particular rivalry.
1. What's the difference between a girl from _______ and a parrot?
You can teach a parrot to say no.
2. Did you hear that _________ school library burnt down?
They lost both books. One of them hadn't even been colored in yet.
New guest at the potluck.
New guest: I brought a casserole!
*Opening the container shows that everything is burnt.
Fellow guest: It's ok, I've bratwurst...
Did you hear about the man who burnt down a field full of beans?
He really razed some pulses.
My wife must think I'm a god...
She keeps giving me burnt offerings !
Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?
She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe
How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?
You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist s**.... Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.
When I was younger I used to think I was a God.
Most parents give their kids food, mine gave me burnt offerings.
What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?
One d**... who never pulls out in time
What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?
He fell on his ash.
Why couldn't h**... go to the barbecue
He burnt the franks
I always get burnt during summer time.
I would go under trees but they're a little shady.
All of Hitlers generals were having a cookout, why wasn't h**... invited?
He always burnt the franks.
What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
My wife treats me like an idol
she feeds me burnt offerings
What is a witch's least favorite food?
Burnt steak.
I burnt my hand on a round stove plate.
It was 360 degrees.
My dad burnt this beautiful slab of meat last night...
He made a terrible missteak.
Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down?
Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.
Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.
A man walks into a store that has a broken neon sign
A man walks into a store and says,"hey, you should fix your neon sign out front, the letter E is burnt out".
The storekeeper replies, "I can't replace the letter, it would ruin the joke!"
"What joke?" Asks the man.
"Stop me if you've heard it before," says the shopkeep, "because it's an old E, but it's a good E."
I work with a guy who looks like Burt Reynolds.
He's from Ghana so we call him Burnt Reynolds.
The Woolies burnt down.
It's turned to Coles
I once burnt down a shoe factory
I feel awful when I think of the soles lost
I use to have a white girlfriend, now I got a black girlfriend.
Today I burnt my hand on the stove.
My wife treats me like a god.
Every evening she places burnt offerings before me.
Old joke time...I was in a horrible accident and had my whole left side of my body burnt away.
It's ok, I'm all right now.
What happened to the man who tried to blow up a bus?
What happened to the man who tried to blow up a bus? He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe.
The hipster burnt his tongue
He must've drank his coffee before it was cool
What did the lighter say to his wife when their kid burnt a house down?
"Hey, at least now we surely know that he's arson."
My wife must think I'm God
She keeps bringing me burnt offerings and is always on at me to perform miracles for her.
If Burt Reynolds gets cremated
He will be Burnt Reynolds
My grandfather got pretty burnt the other day
They don't muck around at the crematorium
One day I was cooking some eggs and sausages for breakfast, and one of the sausages got burnt.
I'll never cook n**... again.
what do you call a burnt rodent?
Chris Pratt
A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down...
Now he has to start from scratch.
Can you beat my top 3 Polish jokes?
>What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A new last name
>Did you hear about the Polish carpool?
They meet at work in the morning
>Did you heal about the Polish t**... that tried to blow up the bus?
He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe
I was making a meal for a family dinner
But I accidentally burnt the food
When my family came to eat they said it was terrible
And I replied At least the fire alarm thought it was fire
How many writers for "The Simpsons" does is take to change a lightbulb?
None. They won't admit that it burnt out 15 years ago!
A radio station said to call their hotline to win a prize
All I got was a burnt hand
What did the burnt down house say to the switch board?
*There was a definite spark between us*
