The Best 75 Burnt Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Burnt jokes. There are some burnt charcoal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these burnt burnt toast puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Burnt Jokes and Puns

My day has been terrible.

Friend: What's wrong?
Me: My beer is frozen, my pizza is burnt, and my girlfriend is pregnant.

Friend: You can't pull anything out on time, can you?

what does a frozen beer, burnt pizza, and pregnant girl all have in common?

they all happened because some dumbass didn't pull it out in time.

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

Burnt joke, What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

What was so great about being a black jew?

They already thought you were burnt

Did you hear about the temple that burnt down?

Holy smokes.


"Little Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"

"Little Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"

"My dad got burnt."

"Oh, that's terrible. I hope he wasn't burned too badly."

"Nah. They really know what they're doing at those crematoriums."

Little Jimmy goes to school

His teacher asks him "Why weren't you in school yesterday Jimmy?"

He says "Sorry, my Granddad got burnt."

"Oh" she says "Was he badly burnt?"

Jimmy replied "Well they normally do a good job at the crematorium"

Burnt joke, Little Jimmy goes to school

What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.

I burnt 1200 calories yesterday!

Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven...

How are burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend related?

All come from not pulling out on time.

What does a burnt pizza and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone that didn't take it out in time.

You can explore burnt mixtape reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean burnt bonfire dad jokes. There are also burnt puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear about the man who burnt down a field full of beans?

He really razed some pulses.

My wife must think I'm a god...

She keeps giving me burnt offerings !

What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common?

A man who didn't take it out in time.

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist scum. Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.

I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza last night.

Must use Aloha setting.

Burnt joke, I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza last night.

My wife worships me

She puts burnt offerings in front of me everyday

What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?

One dumbass who never pulls out in time

What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.


My dad's bread factory burnt down

Now his business is toast

Why couldn't hitler go to the barbecue

He burnt the franks

I always get burnt during summer time.

I would go under trees but they're a little shady.

All of Hitlers generals were having a cookout, why wasn't Hitler invited?

He always burnt the franks.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

My wife treats me like an idol

she feeds me burnt offerings

I burnt a lot of calories today…

I set a fat kid on fire.

What is a witch's least favorite food?

Burnt steak.

My wife treats me like a God

Every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering.

What do you call someone who can't eat burnt toast?

Black toast intolerant.

I burnt my hand on a round stove plate.

It was 360 degrees.

What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common?

You left it in too long.

Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today..

I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.

Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down?

Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.

Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.

Did you hear Muhammad Ali burnt his hand in a few fights?

That's what happens when you punch George Foreman in the grill.

A man walks into a store that has a broken neon sign

A man walks into a store and says,"hey, you should fix your neon sign out front, the letter E is burnt out".
The storekeeper replies, "I can't replace the letter, it would ruin the joke!"
"What joke?" Asks the man.
"Stop me if you've heard it before," says the shopkeep, "because it's an old E, but it's a good E."

I work with a guy who looks like Burt Reynolds.

He's from Ghana so we call him Burnt Reynolds.

The God of the Sun has burnt millions and millions of people...

... But that's ok, because he Apollo-gized.

I once burnt down a shoe factory

I feel awful when I think of the soles lost

I use to have a white girlfriend, now I got a black girlfriend.

Today I burnt my hand on the stove.

I just got completely burnt fries at a restaurant.

It really is Black Fry Day.

My wife treats me like a god.

Every evening she places burnt offerings before me.

What happened to the man who tried to blow up a bus?

What happened to the man who tried to blow up a bus? He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe.

A local cartoonists studio has burnt down.

Police say that details are sketchy.

Why'd the pizza hipster have a burnt tongue?

He ate it before it was cool.

The hipster burnt his tongue

He must've drank his coffee before it was cool

What did the lighter say to his wife when their kid burnt a house down?

"Hey, at least now we surely know that he's arson."

My Buddies bakery burnt down last night....

His business is toast.

My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen and my girlfriend is pregnant...

...I can't pull anything out in time!

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night..

Should have put it on aloha setting

My wife must think I'm God

She keeps bringing me burnt offerings and is always on at me to perform miracles for her.

What did a burnt pizza, pregnant girl and frozen beer can have in common?

Nobody pulled out it time.

What do you call a cremated Burt Reynolds?

Burnt Reynolds.

If Burt Reynolds gets cremated

He will be Burnt Reynolds

My grandfather got pretty burnt the other day

They don't muck around at the crematorium

I just burnt myself making Hawaiian pizza

I should have put it on Aloha Temperature.

Last night I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza.

Last night I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza.

I should have used a Aloha setting.

My reddish-brown Toyota minivan caught on fire yesterday

It's a burnt burnt sienna Sienna.

One day I was cooking some eggs and sausages for breakfast, and one of the sausages got burnt.

I'll never cook naked again.

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other night

I should have put it on aloha temperature

what do you call a burnt rodent?

Chris Pratt

My wife is a deeply religious cook...

Everything she makes is either a burnt offering or a sacrifice.

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today

Should've used aloha temperature

A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down...

Now he has to start from scratch.

Can you beat my top 3 Polish jokes?

>What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

>Did you hear about the Polish carpool?

They meet at work in the morning

>Did you heal about the Polish terrorist that tried to blow up the bus?

He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. ​

I should have cooked it on Aloha temperature.

I was making a meal for a family dinner

But I accidentally burnt the food

When my family came to eat they said it was terrible

And I replied At least the fire alarm thought it was fire

How many writers for "The Simpsons" does is take to change a lightbulb?

None. They won't admit that it burnt out 15 years ago!

What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman, and a frozen beer have in common

Somewhere along the line someone forgot to pull it out

Did you hear about the guy who burnt his house down buy overcooking a Hawaiian pizza?

###He should have cooked it at aloha temperature...


I know where the door is.

What did the burnt down house say to the switch board?

*There was a definite spark between us*

A Subway sandwich maker has a very eccentric regular customer.

The eccentric customer always orders a tuna sandwich, but heavily modified, made with an extra cup of mayo, smothered in chili peppers, red peppers, onions, and pickles, then toasted until it's burnt. It looks and smells disgusting and the worker dreads it when he sees that customer come in.

Finally he asks his boss if he can just not wait on that customer. His boss asks why.

The worker screams in frustration: "I hate the mods on that sub!"

How does Gordon Ramsays family know he's having a stroke?

The toast is fuckin' burnt

Dad I burnt the school down, am I in trouble?

"You arson."

My pizza is burnt, my beer is frozen, and my girlfriend is pregnant.

It seems like I can't take anything out in time.

Burnt

I burned myself on a cup of coffee earlier…..it was amateur pain. However I burnt myself on my grill not too long after that…..it was propane.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the burnt sear jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working burnt oven piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes