Burns Calories Jokes
75 burns calories jokes and hilarious burns calories puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about burns calories that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Burns Calories Short Jokes
Short burns calories jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The burns calories humour may include short burning calories jokes also.
- Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
- I just burned 2,000 calories in a few hours. That's the last time I take a nap while baking brownies.
- I just burned 3,000 calories!! My fault for leaving my brownies in the oven while I took a nap though.
- I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes. Friend: How?
Me: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven. - How do you burn a lot of calories at once? Douse a fat person with gasoline and light a match
- My wife burned 8,000 calories yesterday... because she left the brownies in the oven too long!
- Calories It's not impossible to burn 81500 calories in a day
--Steve (head of the crematory) - Me and a co worker were cremating a fat person. My coworker said I wonder how many calories we are burning .
- I just burned 1000 calories My pizza is gone.
- question funny Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
–
Bill Murray
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Burns Calories One Liners
Which burns calories one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burns calories? I can suggest the ones about calories and burns.
- I burned 2000 calories today. Last time I take a nap with brownies in the oven.
- I burned 1000 calories today... Forgot I had a pizza in the oven.
- I burned 2,000 calories today... I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven.
- Today I decided to burn some calories.. So I lit a fat kid on fire.
- I wonder how many calories women burn by... ... jumping to conclusions.
- What's the best way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
- Why did the arsonist go to the gym? To burn some calories.
- Yesterday I've burned 1000 calories I forgot the cake in the oven.
- I just burned 12000 calories I left the pizza in the oven
- I just burned 3,000 calories......... I left the cookies in the oven too long! 😎
- My wife told me to burn some calories... So I found a fat kid and set him on fire.
- I just burned 1200 calories... I left the pizza in the oven too long.
- You burn 26 calories a minute kissing. That's probably why I'm overweight.
- Obesity is no laughing matter. Because laughing burns calories.
- I just burned 1,500 calories! I forgot the pizza in the oven.
Comical & Quirky Burns Calories Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about burns calories you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fat burning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make burns calories pranks.
One day a Blonde went the doctor with a burn on her stomach.
The doctor gasped and asked what happened. the Blonde told the doctor she put a lighter against her stomach.
The doctor asked her why in the world she would do that. the blond said "I was trying to burn calories."
What's a fat kids favourite instrument?
The dinner bell
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
How do you burn alot of calories?
Set a fat kid on fire
during the act of s**..., who burns more calories?
depends on who's on top.
Why are Mistborns always so thin?
Because they're always Burning calories!
I needed to burn some calories...
so I set a fat kid on fire
Non-consensual s**...
burns more calories than consensual s**....
How my girlfriend stay's thin.
Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?
She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.
I just burned 2000 calories.
I'll never again leave my brownies in the oven while I nap.
You can burn up to 150 calories through one vigorous session of m**......
Still got me kicked out of my weight watchers meeting though.
Why do you want to run for President?
Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.
s**... burns 300 calories an hour.
After doing some extensive calculations, this year I burned roughly 5 calories.
How do you burn calories?
Set your food on fire.
s**... can burn 200 calories an hour.
I better go on a diet.
I wanted to burn a lot of calories this year...
So I lit the fat kid on fire.
When you have s**... you burn 1000 calories.
No wonder you're so fat.
My girlfriend must burn a lot of calories per day
She's always jumping to conclusions
b**... your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour.
It also gets you removed from your local gym.
It's ok to eat a lot at family parties
You burn half of those calories anyway trying not to punch someone in the face
Just burned 2,500 calories in an afternoon...
Over baked cookies
How do you burn calories?
You set a fat person on fire.
Decided to burn 🔥 a lot of calories today
Doctors say having s**... with a Woman burns 150 Calories...
When I had s**... with a Woman, I too lost 150 calories- along with my keys, phone, wallet, and my wife...
Calories burned during s**...
If the man is ready( same vice-versa).... 1 - 4 calories
If the woman is not( same vice-versa).... 300 - 400 calories.
What fireman is doing in a gym?
Burns calories.
b**... s**... can burn 200 calories an hour.
Oh boy, can it burn.
My doctor asked me if I exercise regularly, I told him Yeah, whenever I go to the buffet
It burns a lot of calories carrying 10 plates at once.
b**... your head against a wall for one hour burns 150 calories.
It also got me banned from the local gym.
I burned 3000 calories today.
I really should have taken those brownies out of the oven sooner.
Burning fat
Person 1:
I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes
Person 2: How?
Person 1: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.
I just m**... while wearing my new Apple Watch.
Apparently I burned as many calories as if I walked 8 steps.
Calories are just like the Viet Cong
Even if you burn them, they come back
During s**... you burn as much calories as running for 5 miles.
Who the h**... runs 5 miles in 30 seconds?
They say that during s**... you burn off as many calories as running eight miles.
Who the h**... runs eight miles in 30 seconds?