Burly Jokes
14 burly jokes and hilarious burly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about burly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Burly Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What is a good burly joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A man walks into a bar and downs three shots of whiskey.
The man loudly proclaims, "All lawyers are a**...!"
A big, burly man next to him at the bar turns around and says, "Take that back."
"Why? Are you a lawyer?"
"No, I'm an a**...."
Was in a pub the other day...
Was in a pub the other day as one of the patrons was teliing the classic "What do you do if an epileptic person has a fit in the bath? Throw in the washing!" as a big burly guy walks over and says, "I don't think that's funny. My brother was epileptic and died in the bath."
"Sorry, did he drown?"
"No. He choked on a sock."
This Joke Is A Real Lemon
A barman was very proud of the fact that he could squeeze a lemon so that no more juice would come out of it He made a standing offer of $1000 to anyone who could get more juice out of a lemon after he'd squeezed it. Every night big, burly regulars at the bar attempted to get more juice from a lemon he'd squeezed, but no one could produce so much as a drop. But one night, a little bloke walked in and said he'd heard of the standing offer and would like to try. The barman said 'How do you think you could succeed when all these blokes have failed?' And the little guy said: 'Just give me a chance and I'll show you'.
So the barman, thinking his regulars would enjoy the joke, picked up a lemon and squeezed it. After squeezing all the juice he could out of it, he handed the dried ring to the little bloke and said: 'Here you go.' The little bloke took the lemon and squeezed it and managed to get one, two, three for fix, SIX more drops of juice. Amazed, the barman said: 'Well, here's your $1000. But what do you do for a living? Are you a professional bodybuilder or what?' And the little bloke said: 'No, I work for the Tax Department.'
Girl about to jump of a bridge.....
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, What are you doing?
I'm going to commit s**..., she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity. He asked Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a b**...? So, she does and it was a long, deep and slow b**....
After she's finished, the biker says, Wow! That was the best b**... I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing s**...?
My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl.....
An old guy was sitting eating at a local truck stop...
when three big, burly bikers walked in. The first stubbed his cigarette out in the old guy's pie, the second walked past and spat in his coffee, and the last flipped the guy's plate over, tipping the rest of his meal everywhere.
The old guy didn't say a word. He just got up and slowly walked out of the truck stop.
"Huh" snorted the first biker. "He wasn't much of a man, was he?"
"Nope" replied their server. "He's not much of a truck driver either. He just backed up and crushed 3 motorcycles with his rig."
Two burly bouncers are standing outside the front of a pub.
One says "When I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's u**... off!"
"Why's that?" The other asks.
The first bouncer finishes " 'cause the elastic is killing me."
Toughen Up
I'm sick of people telling me I'm a weakling so last night I went to the gym.
After a light warm up, I steadied myself, put both hands on the metal bar and heaved with all my might. I strained and I strained but still, no matter how hard I tried, I could not get it to budge.
Eventually one of the burly staff members came over and said... "Stop pulling on the door mate, we're closed."
Two burly, muscular men are in the gym, lifting weights...
One says to the other, "When I get home, I'm gonna rip my wife's u**... off!"
The other says, "Why's that?"
The first finishes, "Cause the elastic is killing me."
A burly man walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for another tally mark tattoo
The tattoo artist, a bit worried, asks what all the growing number of tally marks is keeping a record of. The burly man gruffs:
"The number of tattoos I've gotten"
A Jumper
On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.
The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit s**...," she says.
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you are wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl".
The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!
A woman decided to join a biker gang to see what it was like...
After talking with the club president, a burly tough-looking guy, she was told that she was going to be asked some questions that would be used to decide if she qualified. She had never done anything i**... and had no idea what they expected, so she decided to put on her best bad girl act to impress them.
"OK, first question. Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?" the biker asked.
After thinking about it for a few seconds she said "No, but I've been swung by my t**... a few times!"
Biker VS Suicidal Girl
A tough looking group of bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit s**...," she says. While he doesn't want to appear insensitive, he also doesn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing s**...?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
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Burly One Liners
Which burly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burly? I can suggest the ones about brute and blunt.
- What do you call an arborist who has no money? Bur Oak
- What did the hungry polar bear have for lunch A Bur-ger