Burlap Jokes
25 burlap jokes and hilarious burlap puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about burlap that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Burlap Short Jokes
Short burlap jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The burlap humour may include short wrapping paper jokes also.
- I like my women like I like my coffee. Thrown into a burlap sack and transported illegally across Central America.
- I like my women like I like my coffee. Wrapped in a burlap sack and hauled across the border on a donkey by Juan Valdez.
- I like my women how I like my coffee Taken from the fields, brought in a burlap sack, and kept in a dry, dark place.
- My Dad taught me to swim the old fashion way He took me down to the river and threw me in. As soon as I got out of that burlap sack I could swim like a fish!
- I like my women how I like my coffee beans... thrown in a burlap sack and transported halfway across South America
- I like my women like I like my Cuban cigars. 7 years old and delivered to me in a burlap sack!
- I like my women the way I like my coffee t**... in a burlap sack and slung over the back of Juan Valdez's mule.
- I had an unhappy childhood. Many's the night I've spent t**... in a burlap sack in the cellar after a thorough beating. But it doesn't make up for my childhood.
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Burlap One Liners
Which burlap one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burlap? I can suggest the ones about piece cloth and corduroy.
- I like my women like I like my cigars 7 years old and coming from Cuba in a burlap sack
- I like my women how I like my cigars Seven years old and in a burlap sack from India
- Burlap pants are coming into fashion, People are just itching to show off the new look.
- I like my women like I like my cigars Smuggled in from Cuba in a burlap sack
Unearthly Funniest Burlap Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about burlap you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean silk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make burlap pranks.
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head just robbed a bank.
They run into a barn to hide from the cops chasing them. Each of them jumps into an empty burlap sack when the cops come in.
The cops see the bags so they inspect them. The cops shakes the red head's bag. "Woof woof !" Says the red head. So the cops move on, thinking that it's just the farmer's dog.
The cops shake the brunette's bag. "Meow!" Says the brunette. So the cops move on.
The cops approach the third sack and shake the bag. The blonde yells "potatoes!"
3 bags.
A Scotsman, Englishman and an Irishman are all being chased by soldiers, they all run into a Barn and hide in big burlap sacks. The soldier walk in and hunt for them, they poke the first bag and the Scotsman says "Meow!" so they pass it off as a bag of kittens. They poke the second pack and the Englishman says "Woof!" so they pass it off as a bag of puppies. They poke the third bag and the Irishman says "Potatoes!"
Two old Polish guys were talking about how tough their childhoods were...
"When I was a boy, my father taught me to swim the old fashioned way! He just took me out to the middle of a lake and threw me overboard!"
"Wow! That must have been scary!"
"Well, it was easy enough swimming back to shore, once I got myself out of that burlap sack."
Rich old man prepares for his death
A rich old man was on his deathbed. He knew he was soon to depart this world, but he could not bear the thought of leaving his wealth behind.
So he summoned his wife and instructed her to visit the bank, withdraw a large amount of cash, and stash it in the attic in a burlap sack. "I'll just grab the sack as I float up to heaven," the man said to himself.
His wife did as he requested and a few days later the man died. But in all the hustle and bustle of the f**... arrangements she forgot about the cash in the attic.
Years later she was cleaning out the attic and came upon the sack of money. "I knew it," she said, "I just knew it. I should have put it in the basement."
Another genie joke
So a man walks into a bar with a burlap sack. He pulls out a small piano, bench, and a tiny piano player, who begins to play songs on the miniature piano.
The Bartender, intrigued, asks the man where he got it. The man proceeds to show the bartender an old genie bottle. Out pops an old, dusty genie. The man tells the bartender to make a wish.
The Bartender wishes for 1 million bucks. All of a sudden, Ducks begin shooting out of the top of the bottle. Frustrated the bartender yells to the man "I wished for a million BUCKS not a Million DUCKS!"
To this the man replied, "Yea, and i didn't wish for a 12-inch Pianist Either."
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde rob a bank and lose the cops long enough to find a place to hide.
They drive until they find an empty barn, ditch their car, and duck inside just as they start to hear sirens. The brunette hides in a barrel, the redhead hides in a haystack, and the blonde hides in a burlap sack, and shortly thereafter, a police officer comes into the barn to search for them.
He comes to the barrel and kicks it hard, hoping to spook anyone hiding inside.
The brunette goes, "Meow! Meow!"
"Just a cat," says the cop, and continues on his way.
He comes to the haystack and rustles it, hoping to spook anyone hiding inside.
The redhead goes, "Squeak! Squeak!"
"Just a rat," says the cop, and continues on his way.
He comes to the burlap sack and tugs on it, hoping to spook anyone hiding inside it.
The blonde goes, "Potatoes! Potatoes!"
John, Paul and Peter were running through a tropical jungle when...
...they heard their pursuers (a rebel group) nearby. They saw an abandoned farmhouse and entered it. There was nothing there that they could use to fight the rebels off. They only saw three empty burlap sacks. The trio entered the sacks and stayed still. The rebels entered the farmhouse and saw the sacks. The rebel leader didn't want to waste time and decided to kick the sacks to check their contents. The sack John was in got kicked and out came a "mrreeaooww!!!" - the sack contained "cats". The sack Paul was in got kicked and out came a "arrwhooofff!" - the sack contained "dogs". Then the sack Peter was in got kicked and out came nothing, not a sound. The rebel leader kicked it again, and again, and again, but still nothing. The rebel leader furiously kept at it until Peter came out mad. He took the rebel leader by the cuff and said "It's a sack of potatoes!"
A Cab Driver and a Priest
A Cab Driver and a Priest are going to Heaven. The Cab Driver steps up to St. Peter, states his name and how he died. St. Peter checks him off the lists, and turns around. He grabs a beautiful silken robe, and a golden staff encrusted in jewels, before turning back around. "Here, enjoy Heaven."
The Cab Driver walks away as the Priest steps up to state his name and how he died. St. Peter grabs a Burlap Sack and a Wooden Stick.
"Wait, wait, wait a minute." The Priest argues. "I've been a man of God all my life. How did the Cab Driver get more than me?"
"Well," St. Peter replied. "When you preached, people slept. When he drove, people prayed."
Hard of Hearing Genie
(Sorry its a long joke, but worth it I promise)
So a man walks into a bar with a burlap sack. He pulls out a small piano, bench, and a tiny piano player, who begins to play songs on the miniature piano.
The Bartender, intrigued, asks the man where he got it. The man proceeds to show the bartender an old genie bottle. Out pops an old, dusty genie. The man tells the bartender to make a wish.
The Bartender wishes for 1 million bucks. All of a sudden, Ducks begin shooting out of the top of the bottle. Frustrated the bartender yells to the man "I wished for a million BUCKS not a Million DUCKS!"
To this the man replied, "Yea, and i didn't wish for a 12-inch Pianist Either."