Buried Alive Jokes
38 buried alive jokes and hilarious buried alive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about buried alive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Buried Alive Short Jokes
Short buried alive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The buried alive humour may include short buried jokes also.
- Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive.
(Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren) - What do you ask a lawyer buried alive up to his neck in sand? "Run out of sand, did they?"
- TIL that nobody living in my country can legally be buried in it. It may be because they're alive
- Today I found out that nobody living in my town is allowed to be buried in it. It might be because they're alive
- People who live near cemeteries typically don't get buried there You don't tend to bury alive people
- I decided at a young age that I would get buried in the same way as my father Unfortunately gangsters buried him alive
Side note,could someone please send help - Why does Donald Trump not want to be buried between the tombs of Roosevelt and Eisenhower? He's still alive.
- Did you know baby girls were buried alive before prophet Mohammad put a stop to it? So he could marry them obviously.
- TIL People living in Oregon aren't allowed to be buried there. Because they're still alive! ;P
- "Will it cost extra to bury my wife?" I said to the f**... director, "Will it cost extra to bury my wife?"
He asked, "Why, is she a big woman?"
"No, still alive."
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Buried Alive One Liners
Which buried alive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with buried alive? I can suggest the ones about burning alive and beaten death.
- Why can't a man living in New York be buried in Chicago Because he's still alive
- How did the blonde kill an earthworm? She buried it alive.
- Why can't a girl living in America be buried in Canada? Because she is still alive
- Imagine if Houdini was still alive. Jokes on him, cause we buried him in a real coffin.
- Did you hear about the man who was buried alive? It was a grave mistake
Howlingly Hilarious Buried Alive Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about buried alive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean buried in sand jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make buried alive pranks.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don't. And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can't be buried here. I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they're still alive!"
My dad and i were driving past a cemetery
When suddenly my dad said in a serious toned voice
"I know something you don't know about this place.The people living in this town aren't allowed to be buried in here"
And i was really confused so i asked why and he said
"Because they are still alive."
Original: tumblr user @hello.
Couple went to Jerusalem...
And the wife died there..
Priest : Sending her body to home will cost you $10,000 , but burial in this holy city will cost just $100.
Man : I'll take the body home.
Priest : Oh,you must really love your wife a lot...
Man : Nothing like that father.....
Just that Jesus was buried here......
and he came alive the third day...
A farmer saw a plane full of politicians c**... near his farm.
When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened.
Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of them.
One of the police men asked with shock; "are you sure they were all dead"?
Farmer: Some of them were screaming, "we are still alive".
But I couldn't believe them.
You know, these politicians. They can lie.
A bus carrying 53 politicians rolls off a cliff....
A farmer sees what happened and buries all the politicians.
Two hours later there are 100 reporters at the farmhouse to interview the poor fellow. One reporter asked him - did you make sure they were all dead before burying them?
The farmer replied - the truth is, some of them said they were still alive, but I know never to trust a politician!
COOL HUSBAND :D :P :)
Husband & wife went to Jerusalem. Wife died there.
Priest: "Sending her body home would cost you $10000.... but... burial here at this holy city would cost just $100".
Man:"........ I'll take the body home!!!"
Priest:" Why the costly option?"
Man: " Jesus was buried here and came alive on the 3rd day. I CAN'T TAKE THE RISK" !!!
Burial dilemma.
Husband & wife went to Jerusalem and the Wife died there.
Priest: "Sending her body home would cost you $5,000.... but... burial here at this holy city would cost just $100".
Man:"I'll take the body home!!!"
Priest:"Why the costly option? You must really love your wife a lot"
Man: "Nothing like that Father.. Just that Jesus was buried here and came alive on the 3rd day. Why take unnecessary risk!!!
Why is it i**... for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas?
...because they're still alive.
An airplane carrying politicians crashed in a farmers field...
When the police showed up they asked the farmer of there were any survivors
He said " I buried all of them, a cpuple said we're still alive, but them politicians like to lie."
TIL if you currently live in Sydney, Australia. You aren't actually allowed to be buried at Sydney's largest cemetery.
Apparently it's i**... to bury people alive.
Why is it i**... for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?
Because he's alive.
A farmer gets a phone call from his son.
"I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive."
"Shoot it," says the farmer, "and then bury it."
About 20mins later he gets another call..."
"Done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike?"
A plane with famous and influential politicians onboard crashes into a field.
When the authorities arrive they find no survivors or dead bodies on the spot. It soon turns out that a local farmer buried them a bit further away.
The investigators ask him if he is sure there were no survivors, but he confirms that he buried each of them with his two hands.
The doctors ask him wether he could be sure everyone was dead by the time he had arrived at the scene, to which he responds:
"Well, some of them were moving and they claimed to be alive, but honestly I can't believe a single word of theirs."
A bus full of politicians crashed in a remote village.
Days later, when the reporters went there they found that all the corpses have been buried. And they went to the village chief to ask about the details. He told them how it was raining and that their bus lost control and crashed into a tree.
And then the politicians in the bus were screaming that they were alive. But we knew that they were lying so we buried them.
(It is a joke in my first language, so I do not know if I have translated it well enough)
A bus full of senators and deputies crashed and felled down a cliff.
A man happened to be walking by when the accident took place.
The man immediately started to bury all the senators and deputies involved in the accident.
A few minutes later, the police showed up on site.
Cop: What happened?! Where's everyone?!
Man: I buried them.
Cop: What?! None of them survived?
Man: Well some of them said they were still alive and stuff like that but you know how politicians are, I didn't believe them.
Air Force One Vanished
The Air Force One vanishes somewhere over a remote farm. Quickly, a rescue party is sent to the last known location. Instead of the plane, they just find a farmer on a bulldozer.
Rescuer: "Have you seen the presidents plane anywhere?"
Farmer: "Yeah it crashed on my field about an hour ago"
Rescuer: "Where is it?"
Farmer: "It was totally wrecked and everyone inside was dead, so I pushed the whole lot in a hole and buried it."
Rescuer: "The president is dead?"
Farmer: "Well he kept saying he was still alive, but you know how he lies..."
An old couple is travelling in Israel
The wife incessantly nags her husband through out the trip, until unfortunately she has a heart attack and passes. The coroner tells the husband, "it will cost you $500 to bury her here, or $5000 to take her body back to America." The husband tells the coroner that he will take her body back to America. The coroner, surprised, asks "but sir, why pay so much money when you can have just as beautiful f**... here for so much cheaper??" The man replies, "I heard that 2000 years ago some guy came back alive after being dead for 3 days around here, I don't want to take that chance with her."
A bus filled with politicians was driving on ....
.... The country road on campaign trail. Suddenly on a turn the bus veered off and hit a tree with great force. A farmer nearby rushed in, and seeing the scattered bodies proceeded to bury them with dignity.
Police arrived in few hours and proceeded to question the farmer.
Police: "Good deed you did there. So all of them died huh?"
Farmer: " You know how these politicians are. Some of them kept lying that they were alive but I'll be d**... if I believed them again"