The Best 54 Burial Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Burial jokes. There are some burial eulogy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these burial graveside puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Burial Jokes and Puns

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking .

Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .

A boy sees that his pet turtle isn't moving...

"Mommy, my turtle is dead," wailed the little boy to his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.

His mom said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in a tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a lovely burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for a yummy big ice cream, and then get you a great new pet, like a puppy!" Just then, she noticed the turtle move. "Look! Your turtle isn't dead after all!"

"Oh," said the little boy, "can we kill it?"

Strange music

In Vienna, the great composer Mr. Beethoven had recently died and been buried in the city cemetery, with much mourning by the Viennese citizens.

A few nights after the burial, the town drunk is stumbling on his way home through the cemetery. All of a sudden he hears some very strange-sounding music wafting up from Beethoven's fresh burial plot. Terrified, the man runs through the streets, screaming about ghosts in the graveyard.

Pretty soon he's gathered quite a crowd around the grave, all muttering to each other about devils and ghosts. Finally one man makes his way to the front of the crowd, squats down by the grave, and listens.

"Why... that's Beethoven's Ninth Sympony, but... it's playing backwards!" He listens some more. "There's his Eighth Symphony, also backwards! ... And the seventh.... sixth..."

Finally he stands up and addresses the crowd. "My good people, you have nothing to fear. This is simply Mr. Beethoven decomposing."

Burial joke, Strange music

my dog is a christian

* Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a service for the poor creature? Pastor replied, No, we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road, maybe they will do it. The man said, Do you think they will accept a donation of U.S $250,000 for the burial service? Pastor exclaimed, Sweet Jesus! Why didn't u tell me the dog was a Christian?

The lawyer called his client overseas...

..."Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep and I can't reach any other relatives. Shall we order burial or cremation?"

Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both."


Beethoven

Beethoven dies and is buried. A few days after his burial the locals notice strange
music coming from the burial site. Alarmed, the villagers get the local priest and head
down to the graveyard. And sure enough the sound was coming from Beethoven's grave.
The locals watch as the priest places the side of his head onto the ground.
Deep in concentration he mutters: "Fifth symphony......fourth symphony....third...aha! Beethoven is decomposing!"

The United States has such bad luck

It's almost as if it was build on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Burial joke, The United States has such bad luck

There once was a boy named "Odd."

People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.

Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."

The US is having so many disasters and tragedies

Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.

COOL HUSBAND :D :P :)

Husband & wife went to Jerusalem. Wife died there.

Priest: "Sending her body home would cost you $10000.... but... burial here at this holy city would cost just $100".

Man:"........ I'll take the body home!!!"

Priest:" Why the costly option?"

Man: " Jesus was buried here and came alive on the 3rd day. I CAN'T TAKE THE RISK" !!!

Couple went to Jerusalem...

And the wife died there..

Priest : Sending her body to home will cost you $10,000 , but burial in this holy city will cost just $100.

Man : I'll take the body home.

Priest : Oh,you must really love your wife a lot...

Man : Nothing like that father.....
Just that Jesus was buried here......
and he came alive the third day...

You can explore burial cemetary reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean burial bury dad jokes. There are also burial puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Took my Grandma to a nibble fish spa..

It's cheaper than burial or cremation!

A guy noticed his friend was late for work...

"Where have you been?" he asked.

"To my mother-in-law's burial."

"Then why the scratches on your face?"

"She kept resisting, that old fart."

Why did the blonde feminist want to be cremated when she died?

She thought a traditional burial would be too bio-degrading.

Now all we gotta wait for is the feds to start building a pipeline through Wrigley Field

\- and then it'll truly be an Indian burial ground.

So much has been going wrong in the USA

You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Burial joke, So much has been going wrong in the USA

With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year...

You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

My Chinese friend got really sick one day

I went to the hospital to see how he's doin, but he just kept whispering Yang qi guan! Yang qi guan! Yang qi guan!" over and over – and then died.

I was very sad and a few days later I googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means You're standing on my oxygen tube.

America sure is having some bad luck

It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.


Things in the United States have been awfully unfortunate as of late

It's almost as if it were built upon a gigantic native american burial ground

A man is attending the burial of his wife, who has just died.

When someone asks, 'Who is it who rests in peace here?', he answers, 'Me, now that I'm rid of her!'"

I saw an ad for burial plots

and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

I cannot afford to die!

No seriously, I don't have enough money to buy a grave or burial plot...

I took my grandmother to a place that for only 45$ they put you in a bath filled with fish that eat the dead skin off :)

It was cheaper than cremation or a burial!

The other day, someone tried to sell me a burial plot...

That's the *last* thing I need.

With all these natural disasters happening,

Its almost as if the USA was built over thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

America sure is having some bad luck with the recent hurricanes.

As if it's built on an ancient Indian burial ground.

Why was Ted Kennedy the hearse driver at Rose Kennedy's funeral?

They wanted a burial at sea.

What do you call a case of premature burial?

A grave mistake.

I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking."

Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."

America is going through such bad luck at the moment

It's as if the whole country were built on haunted Indian burial grounds...

This morning I saw an ad for burial plots.

That's the last thing I need.

Why was there a gardener on duty at Steven Hawking's burial?

They needed help planting the vegetable.

I recently opened a restaurant on top of ancient indian burial grounds. When I tried to explain my business to the local tribe they interrupted

Apparently they already had some reservations.

Mommy, mommy. Can't we give daddy a decent burial?

Shut up and keep flushing.

Dad on Deathbed

[Deathbed]

Dad: Don't put me in the wrong burial plot

Son: Dad stop it, I'm never turning this life support off!

Dad: because that would be...a grave mistake lol

Son: So is it this switch here or

(cr

America has been having so many problems

You would think it was built on a thousand Indian Burial Grounds

About John McCain's funeral...

...it is said that his burial plot was 12 feet long so he could fall in line one last time

To those who are attending Stan Lee's funeral,

Remember to stay after the burial.

Burial dilemma.

Husband & wife went to Jerusalem and the Wife died there.

Priest: "Sending her body home would cost you $5,000.... but... burial here at this holy city would cost just $100".

Man:"I'll take the body home!!!"

Priest:"Why the costly option? You must really love your wife a lot"

Man: "Nothing like that Father.. Just that Jesus was buried here and came alive on the 3rd day. Why take unnecessary risk!!!

"There are dinosaur bones buried out back!", I told my kids.

It's not my fault we couldn't afford a proper burial for their grandmother.

With all the bad things happenning in america right now,

you woulda thought the whole thing was built on some Indian burial ground.

A Donkey Was Found Dead In Front of a Church

So the priest did the reasonable thing and called the police chief.

Hey, i would like to report a donkey has been found dead in front of the church

The Chief replies: But father isn't that your specialty? You are knowledgeable on how to clean the body and prepare it for burial, right?

The priest replies: You are correct, but we like to notify the next of kin.

America seems to be cursed.

It's almost like it was built on an Indian burial ground.

An old carpenter was carrying a coffin on his head

An old man was carrying a coffin on his head in his bicycle during midnight. He saw a cop standing near a check post who stopped him. The cop asked him why he was carrying coffin on his head. Fearing he might have to bribe the cop he said It was so hot wherever I was buried. I am trying to move to a new burial ground with my coffin . The cop fainted.

I got fired today because I asked a customer whether they wanted it "raw or well done"

I was informed I should have said "burial or cremation" instead.

A lot of weird stuff is going on in America at the moment...

It's like America is built on an ancient Indian burial ground or something.

A team of Swiss archaeologists discovered a new tomb in the middle of the Egyptian desert

They uncovered the tomb, and entered its dark cobweb-filled caverns. After digging and digging, they reached the center of the tomb, a burial chamber filled with treasures.

And at the center of the chamber, a sarcophagus made of pure gold. And once they opened it, they found an unnamed body, in pristine condition, surrounded by a curious combination of chocolate, hazelnuts and wafers.

They decided to call him Pharoah Rocher.

Why is America cursed

It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground

A young man is fired from his job after asking customers if they wanted smoking or nonsmoking.

He was fired because the correct terminology in the funeral home business is cremation or burial.

The stereotype of Persians used to be that they're very cheap.

A Persian man's wife died. After the burial he called the newspaper to write the obituary.

Put 'Sarah died' he said

*Sir, you're not paying us by word, it's a flat rate... you can write a whole sentence if you like.*

Put 'Sarah died yesterday'

*Sir, you can add six more words and I'll charge you for a sentence*

Put '86 Mazda for sale, low mileage''

No present for your mother in law

At Christmas, a man just opened presents from his mother in law and she asks, "where's mine?"

He says, "I didn't get you anything this year."

Visibly upset, she asks why.

He says, "you never used what I got you last year."

She yells, " it was a burial plot!"

America has been having a lot of bad luck lately

It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground

Valentines Day is on Monday

Funerals usually take place on Saturday and Sunday. After the burial the flowers will still be fresh. What you do with this information is up to you.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the burial mourners jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working burial cemetery piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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