The Best 16 Burglary Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Burglary jokes. There are some burglary forgery jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these burglary vandalism puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Burglary Jokes and Puns

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

The police finally catch a notorious criminal,

so the chief himself decides to interrogate him.

Chief: "Let me see here, you have quite the backstory. Theft, forgery, burglary, forgery, blackmail, theft, forgery, forgery, forgery, the list goes on and on. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Criminal: "Well, it took me a while to figure out my area of expertise."

Insurance

A lawyer and an engineer were discussing insurance.

"You need fire insurance, burglary insurance and flood insurance." says the engineer.

"The fire and theft and burglary I can understand," said the lawyer,
"but the flood insurance? How do you start a flood?"

Burglary joke, Insurance

It's muggy outside

But inside, it's burglary.

Last week, a burglary was reported at the fairgrounds

The burglars appear to have taken the bumper cars, the Tilt-a-Whirl, the spinning teacups, the Whirligig swing, the carousel and the Ferris wheel. Detectives have been searching the fairgrounds for clues, but report they still haven't found anything to go on.


3 new inmates discussing their sentences

first new prisoner pipes up "i'm in for murder"

the other two ask him "what did you get?"

"20-life"

second prisoner "i'm in for burglary and rape"

"what did you get?"

"10-15"

third jailbird "i'm in for burning illegal immigrants"

"what did you get?"
"10 to the gallon!"

Police dog

One evening, a deputy in the canine division was dispatched to the scene of a possible burglary, where he discovered the back door of a building open. He let the dog out of his patrol car and commanded it to enter and seek. Jumping from the back seat, the dog headed for the building. After lunging through the doorway, the dog froze and backed out. My friend was puzzled until he investigated further. Then he noticed the sign on the building: "Veterinarian's Office."

Burglary joke, Police dog

I slept through a burglary once and it was a fatal mistake.

Next thing I knew I was being thrown in a police van.

Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels.

Cop: Those dirty crooks.

-Hello?Is this the police?There's an attempted burglary under way..

-Hello?Is this the police?There's an attempted burglary under way in the two story house by the lake how much time you need to come over?

-About 20 minutes sir

-Cool thanks!I wanted to see how much time we 've got before you catch us

There was a burglary last night at the Los Angeles Police Department headquarters.

The thief or thieves stole all of the toilets.

When asked about the investigation, and LAPD spokesman said they have nothing to go on.

You can explore burglary robbery reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean burglary burgle dad jokes. There are also burglary puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I once slept through a burglary.

Next thing I know they're taking mugshots.

I once slept through a burglary.

Next thing I knew I was in the back of a police van.

There was a pet shop burglary near where I live the other night

The police say they don't have any leads

How did the burglary tournament work?

it was a round robbin'

Burglary At Adult Novelty Store -

Burglars were caught by their mechanic after complaining of a serious vibration in the rear.

Burglary joke, Burglary At Adult Novelty Store -

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the burglary burglar jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working burglary extensive piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes