The Best 53 Burgers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Burgers jokes. There are some burgers misteak jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these burgers burger king puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Burgers Jokes and Puns

Just checked the expiration dates on my TESCO burgers...

Aaaaaannnndddd They're OFF!

I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal.


Where do Communists go to get burgers?


Burgers joke, Where do Communists go to get burgers?

Where do burgers like to dance?

At a meatball!

My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

What do lesbian vegetarians eat?

Vaggie burgers

My last roommate was vegan

This happened two years ago. We were having a bbq before a game and he prepared some veggie burgers and I made some meat burgers. He mushed his veggie burgers up real good and it actually looked like meat after we cooked them. We put the leftovers in the fridge and went to the game.

When we got back I was a little bit drunk and was hungry so I opened the fridge and grabbed what I thought was the left over meat burgers.

It was a mis steak.

Burgers joke, My last roommate was vegan

John learning Math

Teacher was teaching math to 5 yr old John.

Teacher: What is 5 - 5?

John: *Keeps Quiet*

Teacher: If you have 5 burgers and I take 5 burgers from you, what will you be left with?

John: French Fries.

I would not recommend eating at the new Star Wars themed restaurant...

The burgers are chewy

What do you call a cow if he enjoys burgers?

A cannibull

I went to the doctor and he said "don't eat anything fatty."

I asked " no bacon? No burgers?!"

To which he replied "No fatty, just don't eat anything! "

You can explore burgers steakhouse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean burgers meat dad jokes. There are also burgers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why are Wendy's burgers so good?

Because they don't cut corners.

Where do burgers go when they die?


How does the enthusiastic chef serve his burgers?

With relish

I like my sex how I like my burgers.


I always order my burgers from Sonic

He always gets them to me the fastest

Burgers joke, I always order my burgers from Sonic

A Blond walks into a library

A blond walks into a library and says "can I get some cheeseburgers?"

The librarian says "this is a library"

So the blond apologizes and whispers "can I get some cheese burgers?"

Drive through counter was being robbed...

While she was held at gunpoint, a cop car shows up at the counter.

Cops : Can we have 2 burgers.

Lady : give the burgers casually and passes a note that says "we have two armed men inside"

Cops : *reads the note* ofcourse they are two armed, how can one armed men make burgers O__o

A man walks into a bar.

The menu reads

>Burger: $5

>Hand job: $10

He slides a $10 bill to the female bartender and asks:
"Are you the girl who does the hand jobs?"

She responds with a smooth voice:
"Why yes I am"

The man then says:
"Then wash your hands, because I want two burgers"

A guy goes to a particularly strange drive thru...

The menu reads

Burgers - $5
Handjobs - $10

A sexy waitress says "Can I take your order?"

"Are you the girl doing the handjobs?"

"Why yes, I am"

The man hands the waitress $10 and says "Well clean your hands, because I want two burgers."

One day when I was young......

I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left.....never came back......I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.

Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty

Me: What!? No pizza? No burgers?

Doctor: No fatty, just don't eat

A blond walks into a library while talking on her phone.

When she gets to the front desk she says, "I will have two cheese burgers and s large french fry."

The librarian looks and her and says, "ma'am, this is a library."

The blond looks around and sees all of the shelves full of books. She is very embarrassed, hangs up her phone, and leans forward to whisper, "I will have two cheese burgers and a large fry."

My ex used to have two cheat days during a week

One where she went out for burgers and cheesecake with her friends, and one where she had sex with Daniel.

What do you call a rapper duck that likes burgers?

MC Donald.

My kids were hungry so I made them burgers from scratch.

They got really upset and started to cry.

Scratch is a stupid name for a cat anyway..

I like my women like i like my burgers.

Cheap, fast, and something I'd be ashamed to let my friends find out I'd eaten.

My dad once told me that I would spend my life flipping burgers

Jokes on him. I'm on register now.

Fatty foods

I went to the doctors recently and the doctor was sexy

He said: Don't eat anything fatty

I said: What, like bacon and burgers?

He said, No. fatty don't eat anything.

I just had a physical. The doctor said: Don't eat anything fatty.

I said, Like bacon and burgers?

He said, No fatty, don't eat anything!

Annual medical check

A man went in for his annual medical checkup and the doctor said "dont eat anything fatty"

The man sighed and said "does that include burgers and fries?"

"No, fatty, I mean dont eat anything!" Replied the doctor

A man walks into a library and orders two cheese burgers...

The librarian says, "Uh, sir, this is a library."

The man whispers
^(oh sorry, may I have two cheese burgers please?)

A man walks into a bar...

and on the menu he sees Hamburgers $5, Cheeseburgers $6, Handjobs $10. He walks up to the bar and a beautiful brunette comes to take his order. She seductively leans over the bar and asks the man, Can I get you something dear? The man says Are you the one that makes the burgers and gives the handjobs? She grins and says I sure am honey and winks at him. He says Great, can you wash your hands, I'd love a cheeseburger.

Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?

I'm pretty sure he has Asp burgers.

I had a checkup at the doctor recently, he told me, Don't eat anything fatty.

I said, What, like bacon and burgers?


He said, No, fatty don't eat anything.

I go to the store and buy ten hotdogs, nine burgers, three bags of chips, and six sodas. If I eat nine hot dogs, seven burgers, three bags of chips, and drink five sodas, what do I have?

No self control

Why are people from Alabama so good at making burgers?

Because they know alot about things that are in-bred.

what does a bee eat for lunch?

hum burgers

when I worked at Wendy's, the company insisted that whoever made the burgers must draw the mustard onto the bun as a "W"

but I would draw the mustard onto burgers as an "M" and no one ever found out.

I went to the doctor's recently. He told me, Don't eat anything fatty.

Me: You mean like bacon and burgers?

Doctor: No fatty. Don't eat anything.

A boy asked his dad, What's a condom meant for? The father replied...

Condiments are used to add flavor to certain foods, most commonly hot dogs and burgers.

I went to get my hair cut today but there were so many in front of me.

After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.

It was the Best Barber Queue ever!

I went to the hospital to visit my friend who had an accident.

While waiting in the waiting room, I felt hungry so bought some juice and 2 burgers from the cafeteria.

I was about to eat, when I saw a kid sitting on the chair beside me looking at me. I asked him if he was hungry. He nodded. So I gave him one of my burgers.

After a few minutes, his mother came and saw him finishing the burger.

She got real angry and started shouting.

"Who is the shit person who gave him this burger. I drove 20 miles to get him tested on an empty stomach."




Now that the barbers have reopened, queues are so long that the staff have started handing out burgers and sausages

10/10 - definitely the best barber queue I've been to

A large man goes to his doctor concerned about his weight.

I really need to lose some weight. What is the best way to do that?

The doctor replied, Don't eat anything fatty.

What, you mean stuff like burgers and chips, pizza, bacon, etc?

No, as I said before, fatty, don't eat anything"

I went to the doctors recently

He said, Don't eat anything fatty

I respond, What, like bacon and burgers?

He said, No fatty, don't eat anything.

If they sell staples at Staples, burgers at Burger King, and candy at Candy Clubhouse... What do they sell at Dick's Sporting Goods?

Sporting goods. I mean, it's in the name!

Read this on an anniversary special edition of Reader's Digest

Julius Caesar was coming out of a fast food restaurant when Brutus bumped into him and asked,"How are the burgers, Julius?

Julius replied, "Ate two, Brute!"

I went to see the doctor today and he said to me, Don't eat anything fatty.

I went to see the doctor today and he said to me, Don't eat anything fatty.
I said, What – no bacon or sausages or burgers or anything?
He said, No fatty, just don't eat anything.

Today I ate 7 Burgers

That's odd.

I just got out of the doctors office.

Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty.

Me: Like what, burgers and fries?

Dr: No, fatty, don't eat anything.

I had an awkward dinner with my son before his date...

I asked him what her name was while we had Buffalo burgers, and he revealed *his* name. I made sure to cut the dinner short after that. My wife thought it was because I was ashamed of him, but that wasn't true at all.

I was just excited to say "Bye son" to my Bi-son after he finished eating his Bison.

Was grilling burgers and asked the wife if she wanted toasted buns

She said yes. I said, well go stand by a fire… I could just about hear the eye roll.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the burgers mcdonald jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working burgers parmesan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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