The Best 28 Burgers Fries Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Burgers Fries jokes. There are some burgers fries jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these burgers fries puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Burgers Fries Jokes and Puns

A drunk walks into a library...

He goes up to the desk and slurs: I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.

The librarian replies: Sir, this is a library!

***whispers*** Sorry, I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.

I called my wife and said that I'll pick up Burger and Fries on the way home from work. I was met with stony silence.

I think she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins.

My teacher used to tell me that I would never amount to anything by looking out of the window all day

Man did I feel smug as I passed him his burger and fries at the drive-through last night

An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.''

A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he insists.''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.''Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?''The wife snaps, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''

A blonde goes into a library and, speaking clearly and loudly, orders a burger, fries and a milkshake.

The librarian rolls his eyes and says, exasperated, "This is a library, ma'am."
So the blonde leans in and whispers, "Sorry. I'll have a burger, fries, and a milkshake."


Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.

They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."

John learning Math

Teacher was teaching math to 5 yr old John.

Teacher: What is 5 - 5?

John: *Keeps Quiet*

Teacher: If you have 5 burgers and I take 5 burgers from you, what will you be left with?

John: French Fries.

A man walks into a library...

...The man walks up to the librarian and says "Can I have a burger and fries please." The librarian, confused, replies with "Sir, this is a library."
The man apologises, leans in closely and whispers "Can I have a burger and fries please."

I just got out of the doctors office.

Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty.

Me: Like what, burgers and fries?

Dr: No, fatty, don't eat anything.

A blonde walks into a library

She goes up to the librarian at the counter and says,

"Hello, can I get one cheese burger with a side of fries?"

The librarian, with a confused look, responds, "Sorry but this is a library."

The blonde pauses for a few seconds. She then whispers,

*"Can I get one cheese burger with a side of fries please?"*

I had a heated discussion with an art historian yesterday

We disagreed on whether I ordered curly fries or mozzarella sticks with my burger

You can explore burgers fries reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean burgers fries dad jokes. There are also burgers fries puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn't get me anywhere.

Boy, did I have a smug look later when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive-thru!

A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...

The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.

The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.

What do you say to a female that studied gender science?

Could I have the burger with fries please?

I feel really gay having just eaten burger and fries

I'm just so happy to have Five Guys inside of me.

Why does the Dairy Queen have small fries?

Because the Burger King forgets to wrap his Whopper!

The boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money....

He serves up a great burger and fries.

A blond walks into a library while talking on her phone.

When she gets to the front desk she says, "I will have two cheese burgers and s large french fry."

The librarian looks and her and says, "ma'am, this is a library."

The blond looks around and sees all of the shelves full of books. She is very embarrassed, hangs up her phone, and leans forward to whisper, "I will have two cheese burgers and a large fry."

A guy walks into a library

And asks for a burger and fries, the librarian replies

"Sir this is a library"

And so the man responds

*whispering*
"Id like a burger and fries please"


Annual medical check

A man went in for his annual medical checkup and the doctor said "dont eat anything fatty"

The man sighed and said "does that include burgers and fries?"

"No, fatty, I mean dont eat anything!" Replied the doctor

A man walks into a library

A man goes to a library, walks to the librarian's desk and says:

"I'd like to have a large burger with french fries and a coke please!!"

Surprised the Librarian says: "But sir, this is a library."

"Oh, I'm sorry", says the man and he whispers:

*"I'd like to have a large burger with french fries and a coke please.."*

What is a burger's favorite day?

Fry-day

So after my recent checkup, my doctor told me not to eat anything fatty

Me: You mean like burgers and fries right?

Doctor: No, don't eat anything, Fatty.

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

Epicurean One-Liner

The death row inmate eats burgers and fries.

A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries.



After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here."

"At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."

A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"

She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."

The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"

One day a blonde went into the library and asked the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian replied, "This is the library." Then blonde whispered, "Oh. Can I have a burger and fries?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the burgers fries jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working burgers fries piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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