Burger Jokes

175 burger jokes and hilarious burger puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about burger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a good laugh? This article contains a collection of burger jokes that will make you chuckle. From puns referencing Burger King Whoppers to hilariously creative riddles about buns and grills, these jokes will help you satisfy your appetite for good humor. Get ready to add a side of fun to your burger and fries.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Burger Short Jokes

Short burger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The burger humour may include short bread jokes also.

  1. I went to the doctor and he said "don't eat anything fatty." I asked " no bacon? No burgers?!"
    To which he replied "No fatty, just don't eat anything! "
  2. I just had a physical. The doctor said: Don't eat anything fatty. I said, Like bacon and burgers?
    He said, No fatty, don't eat anything!
  3. A friend of mine has been rushed to hospital, after eating a horse-burger. Apparently he is now in a stable condition.
  4. It was my son's birthday, so I took 4 of his mates for a burger and then bowling. They had a great time, he would have loved it
  5. I went to the doctor's recently. He told me, Don't eat anything fatty. Me: You mean like bacon and burgers?
    Doctor: No fatty. Don't eat anything.
  6. My dad once told me that I would spend my life flipping burgers Jokes on him. I'm on register now.
  7. Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty Me: What!? No pizza? No burgers?
    Doctor: No fatty, just don't eat
  8. I went to the doctors recently He said, Don't eat anything fatty
    I respond, What, like bacon and burgers?
    He said, No fatty, don't eat anything.
  9. I'm starting a new business tomorrow. It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.
    I'm calling it, "Resolutions."
  10. I called my wife and said that I'll pick up Burger and Fries on the way home from work. I was met with stony silence. I think she's beginning to regret letting me name the twins.

Share These Burger Jokes With Friends

Burger One Liners

Which burger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burger? I can suggest the ones about meal and beer.

  1. You: Would you like a keto burger? My anaconda: No.
  2. A burger walks into a bar... The bartender says "sorry we don't serve food"
  3. What do you call a vegan burger? A misteak
  4. My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.
  5. I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal. AND THEY'RE OFF!!
  6. what are cows knees called? burger joints
  7. What's a bulimic cheerleaders favourite restaurant? In'n'Out Burger
  8. Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper
  9. What does bruce lee order in Burger King? WOPPAAAH!
  10. How does a burger introduce his wife? Meet Patty
  11. What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop? *A big mac*
  12. My friend told me to stop making Burger King puns I said "fine! Have it your way!"
  13. I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.
  14. What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King? A *WHOPPA*!
  15. What do lesbian vegetarians eat? Vaggie burgers

Burger King Jokes

Here is a list of funny burger king jokes and even better burger king puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There's a new burger chain that's going after Burger King… To one up Burger King they called their new restaurants Burger God.
    Their slogan is Have it Yahweh
  • Did you hear Burger King is promoting a black Whopper? McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.
  • l made $48m today and I'm STILL having Burger King for dinner. Just another day working at the Federal Reserve.
  • At the Burger King drive through I said I'll have Bruce Lee's favorite burger please The cashier said what's that?
    So I said A whopaaaaaaaa
  • Why didn't the burger king get the dairy queen pregnant? Because the whopper always comes in a wrapper!
  • Who's Burger King married to? Dairy Queen.
  • Yo momma's so fat When she went to McDonalds they had to call Burger King for backup
  • How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant? Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper
  • Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
  • Why does the Dairy Queen have small fries? Because the Burger King forgets to wrap his Whopper!

Burger And Fries Jokes

Here is a list of funny burger and fries jokes and even better burger and fries puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My teacher used to tell me that I would never amount to anything by looking out of the window all day Man did I feel smug as I passed him his burger and fries at the drive-through last night
  • I just got out of the doctors office. Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty.
    Me: Like what, burgers and fries?
    Dr: No, fatty, don't eat anything.
  • I had a heated discussion with an art historian yesterday We disagreed on whether I ordered curly fries or mozzarella sticks with my burger
  • I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn't get me anywhere. Boy, did I have a smug look later when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive-thru!
  • What do you say to a female that studied gender science? Could I have the burger with fries please?
  • I feel really gay having just eaten burger and fries I'm just so happy to have Five Guys inside of me.
  • The boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.... He serves up a great burger and fries.
  • What do you call a Burger King on a deserted island? Lord of the fries
  • A guy walks into a library And asks for a burger and fries, the librarian replies
    "Sir this is a library"
    And so the man responds
    "Id like a burger and fries please"
  • What is a burger's favorite day? Fry-day
Burger joke, What is a burger's favorite day?

Burger Fries Jokes

Here is a list of funny burger fries jokes and even better burger fries puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So after my recent checkup, my doctor told me not to eat anything fatty Me: You mean like burgers and fries right?
    Doctor: No, don't eat anything, Fatty.
  • What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends? I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.
  • Epicurean One-Liner The death row inmate eats burgers and fries.
  • A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
    She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
    The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
  • A blonde decided to order food using the drive-thru She ordered a burger, fries, and car insurance.
  • Burger King: Have a chicken fry again! But Sensei, I thought they could arways fry
  • Potatoes If potatoes are french fries and cows are burgers. What is the radius of the sun.
  • A goose walks into a cafe. He says, "I want a burger, fries, and coke.
    Put it on my bill."

Burger King Whopper Jokes

Here is a list of funny burger king whopper jokes and even better burger king whopper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did Burger King and Dairy Queen have a baby? Because Burger King forgot to wrap up his Whopper
  • Burger King joke What does Burger King and my boxers have in common?
    They are both the Home Of The Whopper.
    Yes there's a burger down there.
    That is all.
  • Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? Burger King didn't cover his whopper.
  • Why did everyone run out of Burger King? Somebody dropped a Whopper.
  • Apparently Dairy Queen got pregnant Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
    Sorry for the lameness, so many kids just dont get the good jokes.
  • Apparently Burger King will be giving away free whoppers on October 13th to Special Olympians I'd be downs for that
  • How Burger King and Dairy Queen Have a Baby? He gave her his WHOPPER
  • I just found my first gray p**... hair, and am happy and sad at the same time... Happy it was not mine, sad that I found it in my Burger King whopper.
  • What do grammar n**... order at Burger King? Two Whoppers Junior
  • Life hack If you beat your kids at a burger king it legally changes from child a**... to a whopper jr.

Burger Nips Jokes

Here is a list of funny burger nips jokes and even better burger nips puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife has lovely burger n**... So I call her a**... Grande
Burger joke, My wife has lovely burger n**...

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Burger Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about burger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pizza jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make burger pranks.

My math teacher

Staples Burger King applications on failed tests.

I'm giving my order at Burger King.

I ask for a Triple Whopper with cheese, and extra mayo. The 20-ish girl in line behind me says, "Do you know what that will do to your body?"
I turned and replied, "Nothing, compared to what my body will do to it."

A Buddhist Monk goes into a burger place and with a facetious smile on his face he says "Make me one with everything", smirking at his own wit he pays with a $100 Note. The Monk receives his Burger in due course and little else. A touch perplexed he says "I paid with a $100! Don't i get any change?"

To which the The Cashier serenely replies; "Change comes from within."

A blonde walks into a library

and says to the librarian,"I'll have a cheese burger."
the librarian replies softly says,"Sweety, this is a library."
the blonde whispers,"Oh. Sorry, I'll have a cheese burger."

A man walks into a burger joint

He sees a really pretty blonde lady working behind the counter. He looks at the menu, which reads
-Hamburger: $2.00
-Cheeseburger: $2.50
He thinks for a second, then asks the woman "Are you the one that gives h**...?"
She smiles and replies "I am."
"Great. Wash your hands. I want a burger."

A Tesco Burger, produced in Ireland walks into a bar.

A Tesco Burger, produced in Ireland walks into a bar..
He says to the barman 'Can I have a pint please?'
Barman says 'Sorry pal, didn't quite catch that, speak up a bit'
Burger says 'Sorry there, I'm a little bit horse'

Where do burgers like to dance?

At a meatball!

My dad's favorite joke.

A lady walks into a cafe and orders a burger from the cashier. She notices the cook isn't wearing a shirt and curiously watches him prepare her food. He takes a handful of ground beef and slaps it against his hairy stomach, flips it over, and does the same to the other side. Appalled, the lady looks at the cashier and says, "Eww, that's *disgusting*!" The cashier replies, "If you think that's g**..., you should see him make donuts."

Guy sits down at a diner

He is looking at the menu deciding what he wants when the person next to him orders a double cheeseburger. The waitress takes the order and pulls two frozen burger patties from the freezer. She sticks one under each armpit.
The guy asks what she is doing. She shrugs and says "defrosting the meat". The guy thinks for a minute and says "I'll have the hot dog".

Why can you never compromise with a veggie burger?

Because they'll never meat in the middle.

A buddhist monk approaches a burger food truck and says. . .

"Make me one with everything."

I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger.

It was good, but the bill was enormous.

A buddhist monk approaches a burger foodtruck

and says make me one with everything. The buddhist monk pays with a $20 bill, which the vendor takes, puts in his cash box, and closes the lid. Where's my change? the monk asks. The vendor replies, change comes from within

I went out the other night and tried a pelican burger for the first time....

It was amazing but the bill was enormous!!

A shetland pony walks into a Burger King...

He walks up to the counter and whispers "I'll take one whopper please." The cashier says "sure, buy why are you whispering?" The pony looks up at him and says "sorry, I'm just a little hoarse"

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

My girlfriend just broke up with me, mainly because of my extreme Burger King addiction.

So I said to her "Fine, have it your way."

Man waits impatiently at the Jamaican restaurant...

Man: when will my burger be ready!?
Jamaican man: mon soon!
Man: Soon!? I've already been waiting for 45 min—
[both men were killed by a monsoon]

Why are Wendy's burgers so good?

Because they don't cut corners.

Where do burgers go when they die?


A man invites his Jewish friend out for lunch

Upon arriving at the restaurant, his friend says "I'm not sure I can eat here. Is Burger King kosher?" The man waved his hand dismissively and says "Don't worry, it's Burger King: Have it Yahweh."

Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.

They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."

A polar bear walks in to a bar...

He sits down and the bar tender asks what he would like.
The polar bear says: " I'll have a..."
Bartender says: "a Burger?"
PB: ...
BT: "Some wings?"
PB: ...
PB: "a beer".
The bartender asks "why the long pause?'
The polar bear raises his arms and says "I was born with them"

A blonde walks into a library

She goes up to the librarian at the counter and says,
"Hello, can I get one cheese burger with a side of fries?"
The librarian, with a confused look, responds, "Sorry but this is a library."
The blonde pauses for a few seconds. She then whispers,
*"Can I get one cheese burger with a side of fries please?"*

A drunk walks into a library...

He goes up to the desk and slurs: I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.
The librarian replies: Sir, this is a library!
***whispers*** Sorry, I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.

What's the difference between a burger, and a b**...?

You don't know?
Let's do lunch sometime!

An apple a day.....

Causes job shortages in the hospital.
Have a burger instead!

A man walks into a bar.

The menu reads
>Burger: $5
>h**...: $10
He slides a $10 bill to the female bartender and asks:
"Are you the girl who does the hand jobs?"
She responds with a smooth voice:
"Why yes I am"
The man then says:
"Then wash your hands, because I want two burgers"

If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it?

Restaurants can't have s**... you m**....

A man walks into a library...

...The man walks up to the librarian and says "Can I have a burger and fries please." The librarian, confused, replies with "Sir, this is a library."
The man apologises, leans in closely and whispers "Can I have a burger and fries please."

I could never eat a vegan burger

I don't believe in cannabalism

My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900.

The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.

Why did the burger run?

Because it's fast food...

Ordered a burger at GameStop

Sent it back because it tasted so gamey.

I've never understood why there's Burger King but no Borscht Czar

After all, people who eat fast food are in a hurry... they're always Russian around everywhere.

One day when I was young......

I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left.....never came back......I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.

If McDonald's starts using nothing but robots

who's going to spit in burger?


Rod's Wife and Rod Started dieting a week ago.
She proposed that they should have a cheat day today...
She brought home a burger & Rod brought home his Secretary..
From his hospital bed, Rod is wondering when men will ever begin to understand women.😀😜😀😜

Bruce Lee walks into a Burger King...

and orders and WHOPPPAAAA!!!

A blonde goes into a library and, speaking clearly and loudly, orders a burger, fries and a milkshake.

The librarian rolls his eyes and says, exasperated, "This is a library, ma'am."
So the blonde leans in and whispers, "Sorry. I'll have a burger, fries, and a milkshake."

Burger King: Have It Your Way!

Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!
Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!
Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!
Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!
Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!
Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!

I was walking past Toys R Us today, when I noticed a really long line outside...

I asked a worker, "What's everyone here for?"
He said, "That's the Barbie queue."
Then, like an fool, I stood in it for forty five minutes waiting for a burger...

Your mama is so fat

When she went to the court house and the judge said 'order, order', she said 'a burger and chips please!'

A blonde walks into a library..

and says: 'i'll have the cheese burger and a coke.'
the librarian is confused and says: 'you know you're in a library, right?'
the blonde goes: 'oh sorry' and whispers 'i'll have the cheese burger and a coke.'

I tried to share a burger with a homeless man, but he refused

He told me to get my own burger

What do Microsoft and Burger King have in common?

They both hate big Macs.

A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...

The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.
The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.

What is the slogan for Burger King in Israel?

Have it Yahweh

An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.''

A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he insists.''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.''Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?''The wife snaps, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''

A man walks into a bar and a b**... blonde waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.

The man looks up at the menu above the bar and sees that it says, "Hot dog $2, Cheese burger $5, h**... $10".
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She winks and replies, "Why yes I am".
The man says, "Well in that case, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger".

If I were on Death Row, my last meal request would be a clean burger from McDonald's

I'd be kept alive forever.

When you go to a French-Afghani fusion restaurant...

...but you can't decide between the lamb burger or l'hamburger.

How do you sell beans for the price of beef?

Make vegan burger.

Five guys walk into a Burger King.


A mathematician opens a burger restaurant in a city already filled with burger restaurants...

A customer asks the owner:
How do you plan to differentiate from burger restaurants?
The owner replies and says:
I integrate instead.

I had a Wookie burger the other day.

It was Chewie.

Did you hear about McDonald's new burger made entirely of beef lips?

It's called the McJagger.

Why did the infertile chicken cross the road?

She wanted to take adavantage of Burger King's 10 piece special. She now has lil nuggets of her own.

Why did a dad take his son to a burger shop before leaving forever?

To get him a bison burger

A vegan applied but was rejected for a job at Burger King...

She didn't meat the requirements.

Did you hear they were making a McJackson burger for Michael Jackson

It a 50 year old piece of meat in a 12 year old bun

Burger joke, Did you hear they were making a McJackson burger for Michael Jackson

jokes about burger