Burger Jokes
164 burger jokes and hilarious burger puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about burger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a good laugh? This article contains a collection of burger jokes that will make you chuckle. From puns referencing Burger King Whoppers to hilariously creative riddles about buns and grills, these jokes will help you satisfy your appetite for good humor. Get ready to add a side of fun to your burger and fries.
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Funniest Burger Short Jokes
Short burger jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The burger humour may include short bread jokes also.
- I went to the doctor and he said "don't eat anything fatty." I asked " no bacon? No burgers?!"
To which he replied "No fatty, just don't eat anything! " - A friend of mine has been rushed to hospital, after eating a horse-burger. Apparently he is now in a stable condition.
- It was my son's birthday, so I took 4 of his mates for a burger and then bowling. They had a great time, he would have loved it
- My dad once told me that I would spend my life flipping burgers Jokes on him. I'm on register now.
- I'm starting a new business tomorrow. It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.
I'm calling it, "Resolutions." - There's a new burger chain that's going after Burger King… To one up Burger King they called their new restaurants Burger God.
Their slogan is Have it Yahweh - Did you hear Burger King is promoting a black Whopper? McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder.
- I went to this restaurant on the beach in Florida and ordered something called the Pelican Burger. It was good, but the bill was enormous.
- My teacher used to tell me that I would never amount to anything by looking out of the window all day Man did I feel smug as I passed him his burger and fries at the drive-through last night
- l made $48m today and I'm STILL having Burger King for dinner. Just another day working at the Federal Reserve.
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Burger One Liners
Which burger one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burger? I can suggest the ones about meal and beer.
- You: Would you like a keto burger? My anaconda: No.
- What do you call a vegan burger? A misteak
- My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine.
- I left some burgers sitting in my fridge since the horse-meat scandal. AND THEY'RE OFF!!
- what are cows knees called? burger joints
- What's a bulimic cheerleaders favourite restaurant? In'n'Out Burger
- Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper
- What does bruce lee order in Burger King? WOPPAAAH!
- What do you call a burger that merged with a laptop? *A big mac*
- My friend told me to stop making Burger King puns I said "fine! Have it your way!"
- What does Bruce Lee order at Burger King? A *WHOPPA*!
- What do lesbian vegetarians eat? Vaggie burgers
- Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger? It had beef.
- Where do burgers go when they die? Burgatory
- Why did the astronaut throw away his vegetarian burger? He wanted something *meteor*.
Burger King Jokes
Here is a list of funny burger king jokes and even better burger king puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- At the Burger King drive through I said I'll have Bruce Lee's favorite burger please The cashier said what's that?
So I said A whopaaaaaaaa - Who's Burger King married to? Dairy Queen.
- Why does the Dairy Queen have small fries? Because the Burger King forgets to wrap his Whopper!
- What is the slogan for Burger King in Israel? Have it Yahweh
- Why did the infertile chicken cross the road? She wanted to take adavantage of Burger King's 10 piece special. She now has lil nuggets of her own.
- What do you call a Burger King on a deserted island? Lord of the fries
- Five guys walk into a Burger King. In-n-out.
- My girlfriend just broke up with me, mainly because of my extreme Burger King addiction. So I said to her "Fine, have it your way."
- What do Microsoft and Burger King have in common? They both hate big Macs.
- Why did Burger King and Dairy Queen have a baby? Because Burger King forgot to wrap up his Whopper
Burger And Fries Jokes
Here is a list of funny burger and fries jokes and even better burger and fries puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a heated discussion with an art historian yesterday We disagreed on whether I ordered curly fries or mozzarella sticks with my burger
- I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn't get me anywhere. Boy, did I have a smug look later when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive-thru!
- What do you say to a female that studied gender science? Could I have the burger with fries please?
- I feel really gay having just eaten burger and fries I'm just so happy to have Five Guys inside of me.
- What is a burger's favorite day? Fry-day
- What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends? I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.
- Epicurean One-Liner The death row inmate eats burgers and fries.
- A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?" - A blonde decided to order food using the drive-thru She ordered a burger, fries, and car insurance.
- Burger King: Have a chicken fry again! But Sensei, I thought they could arways fry
Burger King Whopper Jokes
Here is a list of funny burger king whopper jokes and even better burger king whopper puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Burger King joke What does Burger King and my boxers have in common?
They are both the Home Of The Whopper.
Yes there's a burger down there.
That is all. - Why did everyone run out of Burger King? Somebody dropped a Whopper.
- Apparently Dairy Queen got pregnant Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Sorry for the lameness, so many kids just dont get the good jokes. - Apparently Burger King will be giving away free whoppers on October 13th to Special Olympians I'd be downs for that
- How Burger King and Dairy Queen Have a Baby? He gave her his WHOPPER
Cheese Burger Jokes
Here is a list of funny cheese burger jokes and even better cheese burger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like my hookups like I like my burgers In and out animal style with extra cheese
- A macaroni and cheese based meal assisted a burger thief. The meal was a hamburglar helper.
- I asked a Mexican if he wanted cheese on his burger. He replied, "I queso."
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Burger Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about burger you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pizza jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make burger pranks.
My math teacher
Staples Burger King applications on failed tests.
I'm giving my order at Burger King.
I ask for a Triple Whopper with cheese, and extra mayo. The 20-ish girl in line behind me says, "Do you know what that will do to your body?"
I turned and replied, "Nothing, compared to what my body will do to it."
What did the two stars of Good Burger name their vegan cooking show?
Quinoa and Kale!
A man walks into a library
A man goes to a library, walks to the librarian's desk and says:
"I'd like to have a large burger with french fries and a coke please!!"
Surprised the Librarian says: "But sir, this is a library."
"Oh, I'm sorry", says the man and he whispers:
*"I'd like to have a large burger with french fries and a coke please.."*
A Tesco Burger, produced in Ireland walks into a bar.
A Tesco Burger, produced in Ireland walks into a bar..
He says to the barman 'Can I have a pint please?'
Barman says 'Sorry pal, didn't quite catch that, speak up a bit'
Burger says 'Sorry there, I'm a little bit horse'
My physics teacher tells the most horrible jokes...
Q: What does iron man eat in Burger King?
A:iron rings!
Q: What does iron man do in his spare time?
A: Iron clothes...
Where do burgers like to dance?
At a meatball!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad's favorite joke.
A lady walks into a cafe and orders a burger from the cashier. She notices the cook isn't wearing a shirt and curiously watches him prepare her food. He takes a handful of ground beef and slaps it against his hairy stomach, flips it over, and does the same to the other side. Appalled, the lady looks at the cashier and says, "Eww, that's *disgusting*!" The cashier replies, "If you think that's g**..., you should see him make donuts."
Why did the burger sit beside the telephone?
Incase onion rings
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference?
What's the difference between a McDonald's burger and a Priest.
Answer: none. They both put meat between two 10 year old buns..
Burger Luther King, Jr
Why can you never compromise with a veggie burger?
Because they'll never meat in the middle.
You're McDonalds; I'm Burger King
I'm doing it my way, and you're lovin' it.
A shetland pony walks into a Burger King...
He walks up to the counter and whispers "I'll take one whopper please." The cashier says "sure, buy why are you whispering?" The pony looks up at him and says "sorry, I'm just a little hoarse"
What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hotdog?
he relished it
If anyone advises you how much lettuce to put on your burger, stop them right there.
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
Man waits impatiently at the Jamaican restaurant...
Man: when will my burger be ready!?
Jamaican man: mon soon!
Man: Soon!? I've already been waiting for 45 min—
[both men were killed by a monsoon]
Why are Wendy's burgers so good?
Because they don't cut corners.
A man invites his Jewish friend out for lunch
Upon arriving at the restaurant, his friend says "I'm not sure I can eat here. Is Burger King kosher?" The man waved his hand dismissively and says "Don't worry, it's Burger King: Have it Yahweh."
Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.
They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. From the table next to them, the man asks again:"I really have no problem buying you food." Man replies:"Dodnt worry about it, she will eat! We share everything" But the stranger is not happy with that and asks the woman:"Why are you not eating?" Woman looks at him and says:"I am waiting for the teeth."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a t**... with two guys and a girl is called a "manwich", what do you call a t**... with two girls and a guy?
Vaggie burger.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a burger, and a b**...?
You don't know?
Let's do lunch sometime!
Wayne Rooney said he wants to be a manager after he retires
"Burger King or McDonalds" was his response when asked where.
I literally drove through the Drive-thru at Burger King.
But I'm a new driver. Why don't you give me a brake?
An apple a day.....
Causes job shortages in the hospital.
Have a burger instead!
Man goes to a burger stand and asks for an Oasis burger
The vendor asks what an Oasis burger is. You get a roll with it.
The Asian father reads his son's report card, where he finds a "B".
"B is for Burger King, where YOU'LL WORK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"
Give a man a burger in school.
He will ask some red paint from the art major
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it?
Restaurants can't have s**... you m**....
Me: grandma have you ever tried Five Guys?
Grandma: at once?!
*in case you don't know, Five Guys is a burger joint*
I could never eat a vegan burger
I don't believe in cannabalism
My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900.
The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.
Why did the burger run?
Because it's fast food...
Ordered a burger at GameStop
Sent it back because it tasted so gamey.
I've never understood why there's Burger King but no Borscht Czar
After all, people who eat fast food are in a hurry... they're always Russian around everywhere.
One day when I was young......
I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left.....never came back......I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.
What Do You Call a Burger Made by a Hammerhead Shark Man
a BigMaccus
If McDonald's starts using nothing but robots
who's going to spit in burger?
Today I had a vegan burger...
Made with 100% real vegans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cheating!!!!
Rod's Wife and Rod Started dieting a week ago.
She proposed that they should have a cheat day today...
She brought home a burger & Rod brought home his Secretary..
From his hospital bed, Rod is wondering when men will ever begin to understand women.😀😜😀😜
Why did the weightlifter order his burger without buns?
Because he wanted to get beefy
What does Michael Jackson and Burger King have in common?
50 year old meat between 8 year old buns.
Burger King: Have It Your Way!
Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!
Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!
Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!
Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!
Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!
Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me: Honey, we are having dinner tonight with a medieval ruler of Germany.
Her: F*c**.... Not Burger King again!!
I tried to share a burger with a homeless man, but he refused
He told me to get my own burger
A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...
The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.
The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.''
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he insists.''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.''Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?''The wife snaps, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''
If I were on Death Row, my last meal request would be a clean burger from McDonald's
I'd be kept alive forever.
When you go to a French-Afghani fusion restaurant...
...but you can't decide between the lamb burger or l'hamburger.
How do you sell beans for the price of beef?
Make vegan burger.
I saw a burger running in the street today.
It's fast food.
A mathematician opens a burger restaurant in a city already filled with burger restaurants...
A customer asks the owner:
How do you plan to differentiate from burger restaurants?
The owner replies and says:
I integrate instead.
Wendy's used to advertise that there was 256 possible ways to order a burger.
That's not very impressive. That's only a byte size of choices.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a Korean McDonald's
One chicken burger please."
"Sir do you want me to v**...?"
"Sorry?"
"Sir, I v**...?"
(30 second pause)
"Oh yeah please warm it."
Two travelers are driving past a, "Welcome to Lewisville, Kentucky!", sign and ...
They can't decide if it's pronounce LouiS-ville or Louey-ville. So they decide to settle it by asking at a burger place they pull up to.
"Hi we're from out of town and have a bet about how locals pronounce this place"?
The local says deliberately and slowly, "Burger... King".
Did you hear that McDonald's is coming out with a McJackson burger?
It's a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I couldn't come up with names so...
Person 1: Did you know that there's a secret menu at that burger place?
Person 2: No, tell me about it.
Person 1: The most secret is a burger. This burger is so h**... that it qualifies as breakfast, lunch and dinner for 7 people, for 7 years. And if you finish it in under an hour, they'll pay.
Person 2: For the burger?
Person 1: No your hospital fees.
