Burg Jokes
72 burg jokes and hilarious burg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about burg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Burg Short Jokes
Short burg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The burg humour may include short bung jokes also.
- Did you hear that McDonald's is implanting all of its employees with technology that gives them all a common hive mind? They're calling themselves the Burg.
- I heard that Stevn Hillburg died... I guess it's time to change the theme song for Spongebob.
OHHHHHHHHHH WHO LIVES IN A COFFIN THAT'S UNDER THE GROUND?
STE-VEN HILL-BURG!
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Burg One Liners
Which burg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with burg? I can suggest the ones about brig and bard.
- Where do pigs live in Germany? Ham-burg
- What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy? The Spaghetties-burg Address.
- What do you call lettuce that has been frozen? An "Ice"burg lettuce
- Who Lives In A Coffin Under The Ground Ste-phen Hillen-burg.
- Elton John famously detests ice burg lettuce He's more of a Rocket Man
- How do you think the unthinkable? With an ithe-burg.
Comedy Burg Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about burg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean berry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make burg pranks.
A burglar
While robbing a home a burglar hears someone say "Jesus is watching you."
To his relief he realizes it is just a parrot mimicking something he heard. The burglar asks the parrot "What is your name?"
The parrot says "Moses"
The burglar goes on to ask "What kind of person names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot replies "The same kind of man that names his rottweiler Jesus."
I'd want a burglar to break into my house,
I'll help them look for money.
Where do burgers like to dance?
At a meatball!
A burglar breaks into a house...
He starts searching the house for valuables and comes across some jewelery, which he begins to stuff into his bag. Just then a menacing voice echoes through the house moaning "Jesus is watching you". The burglar looks around, sees no one and decides his imagination is just playing tricks on him. As the burglar continues his search he finds some electronics, but before he can stuff them in his bag he hears the voice again moaning "Jesus is watching you". This time the burglar takes a good look around the room he's in and realizes that there is a bird cage with a parrot in it. He walks up to the parrot and asks, "Did you say that?". The parrot stares at him for a second and replies "yes". The burglar realizes that the parrot is somewhat intelligent so he asks "What's your name?". The parrot squawks "Moses".
"What kinda guy names his parrot Moses?"
"The same kinda guy who names his vicious rottweiler Jesus"
A burglar
Some young man is trying to get into my room through the window, screamed old Mrs. Kleinman into the telephone.
Sorry, lady, came back the answer, you've got the fire department. What you want is the police department.
No, no, she pleaded, I want the fire department. What he needs is a longer ladder!
Why did the burger sit beside the telephone?
Incase onion rings
Burger Luther King, Jr
Burglars are getting very clever these days..
Last night, my wife woke me up..
*Darling! Darling! There's a burglar downstairs!!*
So I go down, check every room and don't find anyone.
Then I realised I don't have a wife and when I went back upstairs my bed and tv were gone.
What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hotdog?
he relished it
How did the burglary tournament work?
it was a round robbin'
Why are Wendy's burgers so good?
Because they don't cut corners.
Burglary At Adult Novelty Store -
Burglars were caught by their mechanic after complaining of a serious vibration in the rear.
Where do burgers go when they die?
Burgatory
Why did Burger King and Dairy Queen have a baby?
Because Burger King forgot to wrap up his Whopper
I was burgled last night, someone stole all my documents.
I was de-filed.
Three burglars break into a building and are confronted by a soldier, a cop, and a politician.
The politician tells the soldier to kill Burglar #1, and the two stab each other to death.
The politician then tells the cop to arrest Burglar #2, and the two beat each other unconscious.
The politician then walks up to Burglar #3 and says "I just saved your life, your freedom, and tripled your share of the loot. I think 20% is a fair cut."
I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....
'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'
I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.
How 'done' do you want your burger?
I can do "well-done" all the way to "CPR might actually work."
A Burglar got into the house of a Lawyer the other day...
After a terrible struggle, the Lawyer succeeded in robbing him.
What was the burglar doing in Wayne Manor?
He was Robin.
What did the burglar say as he escaped down the stairs?
I didn't quite catch it, but I'll bet it was condescending.
Why did the burger run?
Because it's fast food...
why did the burger queen split up with the burger queen?
she couldn't handle his whopper
Burger King: Have It Your Way!
Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!
Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!
Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!
Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!
Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!
Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!
How did Burger King get Wendy's pregnant?
I went for a burger at McDonald's...
the drive-thru line was super long, but it was worth the weight.
I know a burglar who doesn't understand figurative language
He takes things literally
At the Burger King drive through I said I'll have Bruce Lee's favorite burger please
The cashier said what's that?
So I said A whopaaaaaaaa
A burglar broke into my home last night.
He was searching for money. So I woke up and searched with him.
I saw a burger running in the street today.
It's fast food.
A burglar walks into an art show.
He says, "Give me all your Monet."
A burglar enters a house
The owner wakes up and asks:
"What are you doing?"
"I'm looking for money"
"Nice, tell me if you find any"
What did one burglar say to the other before entering a window into the church?
"Let us pry."
How Burger King and Dairy Queen Have a Baby?
He gave her his WHOPPER
When it comes to bbq's
Burgers are the food I most relish.
Burglar: if you wanna live give me all of your money
Me: bold of you to assume that I wanna live and that I have money
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my burgers like I like my gang bangs...
Five guys.
What did the Burger king yell, at his employee, during rush hour?
Cook that as fast as you can! That's an order!
What did one burglar say to the other while robbing the shoe store?
I don't feel comfortable breaking into these shoes
Kissimmee Burger King joke
Two friends passed through a town named Kissimmee in Florida. They were arguing about how to pronounce it, so they decided to go to the nearby restaurant and ask the cashier to pronounce the town name.
"Hello, I was wondering if you could pronounce the name of this place slowly for me." - The man asked the lady behind the counter.
The woman's eyes went wide and she replied "Bur-ger King."
Burglar breaks into my house: Give me your values and you won't get hurt! Me: Yea right buddy- Alexa, call the police!
Alexa: Shuffling songs by, The Police.
('Roxanne' plays in the background as I'm shot 9 times)
Why did the burglar avoid stealing the kitchen utensils?
He decided it wasn't worth the wisk.
Burgundy sauce joke
Check out what happens if you say Burgundy Sauce on snapchat and then play it backwards by Michael Heid.
Burger King joke
What does Burger King and my boxers have in common?
They are both the Home Of The Whopper.
Yes there's a burger down there.
That is all.
The Burger King King hates Ronald McDonald
Not only because the represent competing restaurants, but because they both like the same girl.
Ronald is his double arch nemesis.
Burglers broke into my home and I helplessly watched as they went through my belongings
Both of us were afraid to call the cops
What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb to break into Fort Knox?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As the burglar entered our darkened room, I put the red dot right between his eyes and then…
…let my cat do the rest.
A burglar breaks in a house
As he is looking around he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you!" Panicked he looks around but sees nothing and nobody. He keeps searching for loot when again "Jesus is watching you!" This time he does a better search and finally sees a parrot in a cage. "Did you say that?" he asks "Yes, it was me." confirms the parrot. "What's your name?" we inquires. "Moses" answers the parrot. Burglar can't help but to laugh. "What kind of people name their parrot Moses?" "Same type of people that name their guard pit bull Jesus."
A burglar breaks into a joint
While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Burglar: "Hahaha! Look at you, what's your name?"
Parrot: "Jared Leto"
Burglar: "That's an odd name for a parrot. Who would name their parrot 'Jared-Leto'?
Parrot: "The same person who would name his rottweiler 'Heavenly Father'!
*First Cake day joke!
Went to a burger joint a while ago
My son, 8 at the time, ordered sliders. When the waitress came with our orders, his plate fell and the food went everywhere. He looked at me straight-faced and said, "I guess that's why they call them sliders."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This just in: A Burger King employee in Kalispell, Montana was arrested today after being caught putting v**... in the orange Hi-C.
Local police say it was the first reported case of a Flathead screwdriver.
Two burglars tried to ransack a comedian's office, but they were caught while making their getaway.
Turns out they couldn't take a joke.
A burglar breaks in to a house
A burglar breaks into a house,
as he's wandering through the first floor he hears Jesus is watching you ,
Startled, he looks around and he sees a parrot, as he sees the parrot it says to him Jesus is watching you ,
Hello parrot says the burglar, so your name is Jesus,eh?
No says the parrot, my name is Moses
Moses? , Says the burglar, who names their parrot Moses?
The same people who named that Rottweiler behind you Jesus , says the parrot
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Burglar broke into our house last night. I didn't shoot him. I just put the red laser dot on his forehead.
Our three cats did the rest.
Why did the burglar file for unemployment?
Everyone was home last year.
Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Burglar breaks into a house
Burglar breaks in. Immediately hears a voice say "Jesus sees you". He looks around to figure out who was talking to him. Frustrated he yells " Who is it? Who are you?" "I am moses", answers someone. Spotting the source of the voice, he finds Moses, a parrot. Burglar angrily asks "Which idiot named a parrot Moses?" Parrot answers "Same idiot who named the rottweiler Jesus, RIP".
Who's Burger King married to?
Dairy Queen.
I saw a Burglar breaking his own house the other day.
Turns out he was Working from Home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A burglar broke into our house last night…
I didn't fight back, I just put the red laser dot on his forehead and the 3 cats did the rest.
(Copied from a comment I saw to funny not to share since this whole sub is reposts)
my burger bun startup is going well
And I've got seed funding already
There's a new burger chain that's going after Burger King…
To one up Burger King they called their new restaurants Burger God.
Their slogan is Have it Yahweh
A burglar broke into a home…
He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search.
Again, "Jesus is watching you."
He turned his flashlight around, and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking.
The parrot said, "Yes."
He asked the parrot his name.
The parrot said, "Moses."
The burglar asked, "What kind of people would name their parrot, Moses?"
The parrot replied, "The same kind of people who would name their pitbull Jesus."
