Bunny Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Bunny puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Bunny

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot?

One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.

What do you call a towel used by a bunny?

A hare dryer!

Bunny

A little girl walks into a pet shop. She asks the owner for a bunny, to which he responds "what kind of bunny would you like? A cute black one, an adorable brown one or perhaps a sweet little white one?"

The girl looks at the owner and answers: "I don't think my python really cares..."

When I was a kid, my parents fed me a lot of bullshit, like believing in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. But I finally started thinking for myself and realized it was all wishful thinking.

Thank you Jesus!

A tour bus is traveling through Nevada...

it briefly passes by the Bunny Ranch in Carson City.

The guide notes, "We are now passing the largest house of legal prostitution in America"

A man in the back shouts, "WHY?!?"

Had a rabbit that would come by every morning. I'd leave a bit of food for him. But he stopped coming one day.

Now he's just some bunny that I used to know.

Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees...

Little Johnny claps his hands over his ears and says, "I don't wanna hear anymore! First you tell me there's no Santa Claus, and then there's no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either. If you're about to tell me grown ups don't have sex, I got nothin' to believe in anymore!"

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, but do you thell baby bunnieth?".

The pet store owner smiles and says, "Why, yes, sweetheart! We sell all kinds of baby bunnies. Now... what kind of baby bunny would you like? Would you like a baby grey bunny? Or a baby white bunny? Or would you prefer a pretty brown bunny?"

The little girl replies, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."

The Energizer Bunny was found dead today from sexual exhaustion

His battery was put in backwards and he just kept coming and coming and coming.

I got a baby bunny today.

I had to swerve pretty hard to do it, but I got him!

Ever wonder why you don't see the energizer bunny anymore?

He got arrested for battery.

What do you call a bunny in a kilt?

A hopscotch

An old Yiddish man goes to the Bunny Ranch.

He says to the madam, "I'm looking for a girl who knows how to do it the Jewish way."

One of girls walks over to him and says, "I'm new here, and I want to learn how to do everything, so if you'll teach me how to do it the Jewish way, I'll give it to you for half price."

The man exclaims, "THAT's the Jewish way!"

Did you hear about the Energizer Bunny?

A judge charged him with battery.

All the forest animals are having a big car show..

..shining their rims, getting ready to put their cars on display for the forest folk to see. The bunny is hopping along half drunk and stumbles into the clearing.

"WHOAAHhh bear, that's a sweet lambo, how did you ever afford it?"

"Well bunny, i'm not an alcoholic like you" replies the bear.

The bunny takes another sip of his stashed mickey and hops with his face into the rims of a Ferrari.

"Woaahh Fox, how on earth did you afford this!"

The Fox, grabbing a towel out of its back pocket gives the bunny a dirty look and mutters "I don't spend every acorn i earn on booze.."

The bunny, amazed, takes another swig of vodka and hops his way back into the woods.

As everyone is adding the finishing touches to their rides, ready to open the show to the public, a helicopter lands in the middle of it all with the bunny in the pilot seat. He barely makes two hops and throws up.

"Wow bunny.. how on earth did you ever manage to afford that?!" the amazed onlookers exclaim.

" *hic*.. turned in my empties"

A doctor, a priest and a model are driving.

So the three of them are driving on a country road, when they hit a bunny. They stop and get out, overwhelmed with sympathy for their fluffy victim, it lies motionless on the road


The doctor draws on all his skills to try and get the bunny up again, but to no avail. The priest kneels down and gives the bunny his last rites and blesses it. They are about to bury it when the model stops them.


She takes a can of hairspray and sprays the bunny all over. It gets up and hops away as the priest and the doctor stand speechless. Ten yards down the road the bunny turns around and waves at the tree companions. Twenty yards away, it turns around and waves again. This goes on until the bunny disappears into the high grass beside the road.


"What on earth is in that spray can?", asks the doctor.


"I don't know ..." replies the model, "... but it certainly works as advertised" And she hands the doctor the can.


The can reads: "instantly revives your hair, adds a permanent wave"

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray...

(Ill see myself out)

As a child my parents used to tell me about the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Santa

I dont believe in those stories anymore, thank GOD

What did bugs bunny save his word processing as?

Whats up.doc

What do you get if you crossbreed a rabbit with an insect?

Bugs Bunny

Energizer Bunny Arrested

Charged with battery.

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?

Just the Rottweiler.

Little Johnny and the Birds and the Bees

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

Bear and Bunny

One day, a bear and a bunny are fighting. A genie appeared before them and said I will offer you each three wishes if you stop fighting. They both agreed.
For the first wish, the bear wanted all of the bears in his forest except for him to be female. The bunny asked for a motorcycle.
For the second wish, the bear wanted all of the bears in the country except for him to be female. The bunny asked for a helmet.
For the third wish, the bear wanted all of the bears in the world except for him to be female. The genie gave him a look. The bunny started his motorcycle and put on his helmet and said "I want...that bear to be gay" and he drove off.

I gave the pet store $20

Mitch better have my bunny

Why did the Energizer Bunny go to jail?

because he was charged with battery

What's the difference between a rabbit on a treadmill and a rabbit with a carrot stuck up its nose?

One is a fit bunny and the other is a bit funny

What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?

A bunny ribbit

A bunny escapes from a research facility

he runs out of the lab and joins some other bunnies in the field behind the building.

"hey there!" one of the bunnies says. "are you from the lab?"

"yeah. I'm from the lab"

"then you have a lot to learn about being a bunny" one of the other bunnies says.

he teaches the young bunny about how to eat carrots, hop, and etc.

"So, new friend, do you want to stay with us?" the wild bunnies chorus

"I'm sorry, but I have to go back. I'm dying for a cigarette!"

A little boy is crying, because his pet bunny died...

his mother asks: How does it come you are crying much more now than when your grandma died?
little boy:I didnt have to pay for her with my allowance.

Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy?

The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.

What type of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear?

24 carrot

The Energizer bunny was just releases from prison.

He was charged with battery.

. . .

The doctor and the bunny (clean)

A doctor is driving home one dark and stormy night. A few yards ahead, a rabbit bolts out from the forest. Try as he may, the doctor couldn't stop in time and he struck the rabbit.

An animal lover, the good doctor leapt from the car to see if he could help the little guy. But the rabbit was not responsive. He ran back to the car to get his medical bag, but then realized that he was driving his wife's car, and so his bag would not be there. He reached into the glove box and pulled out what he thought was a bottle of water.

Returning to the bunny, he carefully lifted its little head and helped it sip from the bottle. To his amazement, the bunny sprang back to life. The bunny gave him a big wave and then hopped off. It stopped a few feet away and then waved again. Bounding up the hill, once again the little bunny waved. Astonished by the remarkable recovery, the doctor looked at bottle in his hand and read the label out loud, Hair restorer with permanent wave.

The energiser bunny was arrested today

He was charged with battery

Bunny Wabbits

A little girl steps into a pet shop, walks up to a sales associate, and says, "I would wike to buy a wabbit, pwease.."

The woman takes one look at the little girl, and her heart melts. The child had big, bright eyes, a little button nose, pig tails - she's cuter than Shirley Temple. She scrunches down to the girl's eye level, and gushes:

"Weww, what kind of bunny wabbit would you wike? Do you want a white bunny, or a bwack bunny, or a bwown bunny, or maybe a cawwico bunny?"

"Gee, I don't know," the girl replies, looking down and shuffling her feet ... "I weawwy don't fink my pyfon gives a cwap".

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs Bunny...

Happy Easter

what do you get when you cross a rabbit and an ant?

Bugs Bunny.

My girlfriend complained about her new bunny misbehaving

I said "just give her some thyme".

Why didn't the bunny get the job as a marsupial?

He wasn't koalafied!

What did the Duracell Bunny get arrested for?

Assault and battery

I'm using my computer to write an essay about Bugs Bunny.

The filename is whatsup.doc

So Tim is interviewing for a job.

"I will need you to take a test before I hire you." Says the man. "You have to shoot 5 black men and a bunny"

"Why the bunny" asks Tim?

"Your hired"

What crime did the Energiser Bunny commit?

Battery

Bad money

What is the difference between an angry rabbit and a counterfeit dollar bill?

One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.

What's the difference between a male and female chocolate Easter bunny?

About a quarter inch of chocolate

Did you hear the Duracell bunny was in court last week?

He was charged with battery.

Easter Kids' Joke

Why can't you sniff out Easter Eggs?

(In a tone like you have no idea) "No bunny nose"

-Made up this morning in bed to a very dissatisfied girlfriend

How do things come out of the Easter Bunny?

With rear eggularity.

Whats invisible and smells like carrots?

bunny farts

Why does the Easter Bunny drink IPAs?

He loves the hops.

Three blondes walking through the woods...

One of them stops and points at the ground in excitement saying, "Oh my gosh look. Those are like, bunny tracks!"

"Those are so not bunny tracks. They're deer tracks." The second blonde says in a matter-of-fact tone.

The third blonde, with hands on her hips, says "Your both wrong. They're not bunny tracks and they're not deer tracks. They're-"

A train suddenly hits them.

Bugs Bunny at the airport

"Eh, what's up Doc?"

The Energizer bunny got arrested today!

He was arrested for battery.

This was a joke I posted on Facebook 7 years ago.

Have you heard that Duracell bunny is in jail?

They say he was charged with battery

Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny was arrested?

It's ok; he wasn't charged.

My kid said I was like the Easter Bunny

He stopped believing in me years ago

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes