The Best 60 Bunch Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Bunch jokes. There are some bunch shitload jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bunch dozens puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Bunch Jokes and Puns
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says "I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day."
The professor says "I'll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?" so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids' screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says "I'll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This'll be a breeze" so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says "I'll be an artist" so he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars. The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says "I got a masters degree in art."
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...
...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Semantics really
I woke up this morning and found a bunch of missing person posters around town that said "Offering reward for any information".
I promptly ran to a phone, called them up and told them my favourite colour was blue.
Three nuns were talking...
The first nun said, "I was cleaning the father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!"
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course I threw them all in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, yesterday, I was in the father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms."
"Oh my," gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them," she replied.
The third nun said, "Oh shit."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...
The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, "You're all a bunch of idiots."
A joke for the cerebral...What do you call it when a bunch of crows agree to meet later?
Premeditated murder.
I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery.
None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea.
Art Thief
An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.
He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"
The thief replies:
"I did not have the Monet
to buy Degas
to make the Van Gogh"
A mental patient escapes from an asylum, goes into a laundrette and rapes a bunch of women. The police arrive and he escapes. Newspaper headline the next day reads....
.
---
### NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS
---
.
I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!"
They must be scared of the dark or something.
An RAF vet is giving a talk about the war...
An RAF veteran is giving a talk to a class of school children, and was trying to explain what a typical mission would be like.
"So there I was, escorting the bombers to their target, when out of the blue we were attacked by a bunch of Fokkers. There were about 20 of these Fokkers. One took out my buddy, but I managed to shoot the Fokker down. Then one was on my tail and I coukdn't shake the Fokker, but my pal took care of him. Then I took out two more of the Fokkers..."
The teacher interupts "Children I should explain, the Fokker was a type of figher airplane used by the German Air Force to stop the RAF bombers and their escorts."
"Yes, but these Fokkers were Messerschmitts!"
You can explore bunch batch reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bunch lot dad jokes. There are also bunch puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA
Facebook bought WhatsApp for $19 billion. What a bunch of morons.
They could've just downloaded it for free.
Why does no one like the swiss army?
Because they are all a bunch of tools.
I once attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt...
I'll admit it was a waist of time.
I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching
To reverse and leaving the scene
What do you call a bunch of potheads working together?
A joint effort!
Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door
Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
Why is wrestling stupid??
It's a bunch of guy's without pants fighting for a belt....
Cop sees a blonde with a bunch of penguins in the back of her car
So he stops her and asks her what she is doing with a bunch of penguins. She says she just saw them on the road and opened the door and they got in.
"You've got to take those penguins to the zoo," he says. Next day he sees her again with the penguins still in the back of her car.
Cop: Lady I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.
Blonde: I did and we had such a good time, today we're going to the park.
It was time to name Canada
All the 4 founding hosiers were sitting around and no one could agree on a name. They finally decided to put a bunch of letters in a hat and 3 people would draw one out at a time while the last transcribed the name.
The first guy drew and read, "C, eh?"
The next drew, "N, eh?"
Finally the last maple head drew and said, "D, eh?"
At the gym
I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out, I ask the guy who is running the gym, Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies? He smiles says Try the ATM in the lobby .
My friends and I used to love a good game of Russian Roulette.
Unfortunately, they're a bunch of sore losers and won't play it with me anymore.
Today is my first day at the gym.
I walk in and see a bunch of hot women working out. I walk up to the guy who is running the gym and ask him, " Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies over there?" He smiles at me and says, " Try the ATM Machine in the lobby."
MOM! I'm being called gay in school.
Who is calling you that son?
A bunch of cute boys.
When I went to Heavan...
I meet with Paul the Saint. He points to a bunch of clocks behind him
Paul: These are clocks that measure how honest you are. Yours is at 12:45, meaning you have lied 45 times in your lifetime
Me: Whose that clock at 12:00 belongs to?
Paul: That's Mother Teresa's. She has been a perfect person and has never lied
Me: Then whose that one at 11:59? Is he even better than Mother Teresa?
Paul: No. That one belongs to Bill Clinton. He lied so much during his presidency, the clock almost resets to 12:00
Me: I wonder, where's Donald Trump's clock?
Paul: Trump? Its in my office. I am using it as a desk fan
Why is that when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he's a player
But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys it's your mom?
If you ever miss the Tour de France, just go to Amsterdam.
It's basically the same thing: a bunch of people on drugs riding bikes.
What do you call a bunch of zombies dressed as Superheroes?
The Necro Comic-Con
A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.
He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.
A man walks into a steakhouse
A man walks into a steakhouse and sees a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling.
"What's with the meat?" he asks the hostess.
She says, "It's a contest we are running. If you can jump up and grab a piece, your entire meal is free."
"And what if I miss?"
"Then you need to buy everyone in the restaurant a drink. Do you want to try?"
He looks up again.
"No, the steaks are too high."
A bunch of beer company CEOs are at a conference and they decide to go get a drink...
The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light, the CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light, the CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light, and the list goes on. The bartender makes his way to the CEO of Guiness and he orders a Coke.
His colleagues ask, "why don't you order a Guiness?"
And the Guiness CEO replies, "If you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."
I spent all day working on a bunch of puns about limousine drivers.
But I still have nothing to chauffeur it.
Exchange rate
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to
the currency exchange window at the local bank. Just one lady in front of me...an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?' The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. The Asian lady says, 'Fluc you white people, too'.
It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles..
At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.
I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.
After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo commie con.
If I had a dollar for every gender
I'd have two dollars and a bunch of counterfeits
The government reveals their new logo today....
The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.
I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while being screwed.
I ate a bunch of scrabble pieces earlier
So going to the bathroom could spell disaster
I bought a racehorse today, I called it My Face
I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want a bunch of people shouting Come on my face
A cowboy sees a bunch of American Indians on the horizon and thinks: ''I'm fucked...'', but a voice in the back of his head says: ''Not so fast! Kill the chief!!!''
''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.
''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.
The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.
As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...''
A Russian dude enters a bar wearing a tshirt saying, "Turks got 3 problems."
Obvious repost
As soon as he enters the bar a bunch of Turks stop him.
Turks: you come in our country and have the balls to insult us.
Russian : that's your first problem. you guys gets offended so easily.
Turks: Let's get him outside.
Russian: that's your second problem. you wanna solve everything with violence.
*They gets outside of the bar and Turks starts taking their knives out*
Russian: that's your third problem. you bring knives to a gunfight.
Don't adopt a puppy to see if you're ready for kids
Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea & a bunch of stories that don't go anywhere.
I don't like people who do Yoga
They're a bunch of posers if you aske me.
A world renowned chemist dies.
A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks?
A good start. HOLD the LINE.
Carnival is offering a new voyage where you set sail and leave a bunch of senior citizens behind in the snow.
It's called a Ted Cruise
A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, "19! 19! 19! 19!"
Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting "20! 20! 20!"
A funny story
A man had a bunch of penguins in his truck, when suddenly a police officer came and asked him what was in the truck, the man said "My penguins," The police said to take the penguins to the zoo.
The next day, the police officer came back asking where the penguins were. The man said, "They're in my truck. The police officer replied, "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo," "I did," replied the man, ''Today I'm taking them to the beach."
I like my coffee like I like my slaves
Free! You're all a bunch of racists.
"Hello police? I'd like to report a murder"
"For the last time sir, a bunch of crows sitting in a tree isn't a threat to your security"
A guy took his small daughter with him to work one day...
After he introduced all the other employees to her she began to cry. He asked her what the matter was and she said, "You told Mom that you work with a bunch of clowns. Where are they?"
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
I woke up one night to someone knocking on my front door.
I felt uneasy, but I went and answered it anyway. When I opened the door, I looked around, and then spotted a shellfish on my welcome mat.
"Let me in", it cried, "I'm being chased by a bunch of wasps."
That was when I realized why I felt so uneasy.
This was the clam before the swarm.
"All the shops have been smashed open, there was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"
"Yeah," said Rincewind. "Luters, I expect."
* Terry Pratchett, *The Light Fantastic*
A man entering a strip club was shot in the chest today, but thankfully his front shirt pocket had a bunch of neatly folded one dollar bills..
Some say it was his life savings
A couple goes to therapy
A couple goes to therapy to discuss their issues.
The therapist asks. So, why are we here today?
The husband quickly try to explain.
So what happened was, that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, while putting something away I spilled a bunch of dried herbs all over the place. My wife then yells for help with folding the sheets in the bedroom and I simply replied.
"I can't right now, I have too much thyme on my hands"
I met a girl last night & after so flirting asked her if she wanted to come home with me to play "Doctor"?
So when we got to my place, I left her sitting on my couch with a bunch of out dated magazines on the end table for 2 1/2 hours before I came out of my bedroom.
My mother recently passed away, and my aunt and cousins are a bunch of reprobates.
Isn't that what you call them when they're trying to contest the will?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bunch gaggle jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working bunch cunts piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.