Following is our collection of funny Bumps jokes. There are some bumps dusts jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bumps rashes puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork. Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!
... and says "Hey, man, can you believe that they fired me for stealing office supplies?"
Friend says, "Wow, that's crazy, they must really be hardnosed about that. Where did you work again?"
"Office Depot."
Frank's wife goes missing and a week later he bumps into his friend Larry on the street. "Frank! How are you? You look a little worse for wear. Any news on your wife?"
"Hi Larry, I'm alright. They said I should be prepared for the worst."
"Oh god that's awful!" Larry sympathises.
"Yeah I know right. I had to buy all her stuff back from the thrift shop this afternoon."
A father is driving with his young son who is asleep when he bumps the horn, waking his son. The father apologizes, saying it was an accident. The boy tells him he knows it was, to which the father asks how he knew it was an accident. The son replies "well you didn't yell dumbass when you honked"
A Chinese man is walking down the street after just arriving in the U.S. for the first time. He possesses a limited understanding of English. While caught up in the splendor of the city he accidentally bumps into another person.
The Chinese man quickly responds "I'm Sorry!"
The American man says, "I am sorry too."
The Chinese man says "I am sorry three."
The American says "What are you sorry for?"
The Chinese man replies "I am sorry five."
"So, you say that your husband hanged himself?" asked the judge.
"Exactly", said the widow.
"Then, how can you explain the bumps and bruises all over his head?"
"Well, he used an elastic."
Its brail for, "Suck This."
Julius Caesar is looking for a lady. A friend of his suggests a woman he knows. He meets the woman, and they go to his house. The next day, Caesar bumps into his friend again. The friend asks "how did it go"? Caesar replies, "I saw, I conquered, I came."
Stark raving mad
Goose bumps
Girl: Oh sorry about that, hi.
Guy: Oh! I shouldn't be talking to you.
Girl: Why not?
Guy: Because when I talk to a pretty girl I always make a fool of myself
*The girl smiles, taking this as a compliment*
Girl: You're not making a fool of yourself.
*The guy looks the girl up and down*
Guy: Oh yeah, you're right.
You can explore bumps suddenly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bumps airbag dad jokes. There are also bumps puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
But I'm slowly getting over it
But I slowly got over it.
I'm slowly getting over it.
The screaming speed bumps
I told her it's not the end of the world, just a few bumps in the road.
"Is she ok?" I asked worriedly.
"Well, she does have two bumps and a very large gash." he replied.
"I know that, but is she injured in any way?"
Those bumps are hard to see
Someone bumps into the cripple and his wheelchair starts moving. He falls between the platforms and can't get back up. Then he hears the train coming.
One of the friends tries to jump in and save him, but the other friend grabs him and says, "You're not supposed to go past the yellow line".
and sits down next to a really hot girl. The bus bumps and her glass eyes falls out of its socket and the guy catches it. To repay him for catching her eye and due to the awkwardness she invites him to dinner and a movie and after that they went back to the guys house and had great sex! In the morning the guy looks at the girl and asks: "Do you usually hang out and have sex with random strangers"? She replies: "No, You just happened to catch my eye"!
A English businessman was rushing through an airport when all of a sudden, he bumps into a tiny Asian women.
She immediately says, "I'm sorry!"
In a hurry, the businessman says, "I'm sorry too."
She responds with, "I'm sorry three!"
Confused, the businessman stops and says, "What are you sorry for?"
She yells, "I'm sorry five!!!"
Stephen Hawking.
But I am slowly getting over it
are braille for suck right here.
SKU me
It's Braille for "Suck Here"
"Dam" he says.
A few big bumps means you should probably slow down.
Lots of little bumps means you're in a school zone.
Speed bumps
"Sorry, that was my fault!"
"Hey! Why don't you watch where you're going!" She exclaims. The man replies, "Why don't you go where you're watching?"
A caramel.
A white supremecist walks into a bar and bumps into another white supremecist. 'Pardon me!' says Joe Arpaio. 'Sure!' says the president.
Note: joke corrected for 'gettability' by my husband.
The doctor thought it was a little rash.
Careless whispa
"Dam!"
A English businessman was rushing through an airport when all of a sudden, he bumps into a tiny Asian women.
She immediately says, "I'm sorry!" in a Chinese-english accent.
In a hurry, the businessman says, "I'm sorry too."
She responds with, "I'm sorry three!" in broken english.
Confused, the businessman stops and says, "What are you sorry for?"
She yells, "I'm sorry five!!!"
but I'm slowly getting over it.
"Mitosis!!!"
... And sits down next to Trump.
He says, "I'm sorry but I can't really help you. You're looking at life in prison for treason."
Frustrated, Trump pays the bartender and storms out. On his way out he accidentally bumps into Mike Pence.
He says to Pence, "Pardon me."
They're braille for "Suck me"
"It gives me Goose Bumps!"
To prevent the furniture from getting goose bumps.
Paul Manafort says "oops, pardon me".
Trump says "soon".
"I pardon myself"
A frenchman alks down the street, where he bumps into an Englishman
The Frenchman asks: How are you, what are you up to?"
Englishman: " Ah, nothing much, playing the Croatians in the World Cup tomorrow!"
Frenchman: "What a coincidence...?! We're playing them on Sunday!"
"Good day to you sir, what are you up to." says the Englishman.
The Frenchman says "nothing much....what are you doing."
"Oh we are playing Croatia today" answers the Englishman.
"Ah what a coincidence. We are playing them on Sunday you see" replies the Frenchman.
It was a real shame as we were only half way though giving her the bumps.
"Dam"
Guy: Why is it so difficult to say goodbye? I mean should we kiss? hug? or exchange fist bumps?
McDonald's Worker: Sir please, the manager and other customers are looking at us...
If anything they slow you down
Three men floating in the ocean in a life raft when a smoke-filled bottle bumps the raft. One guy picks it up and opens it. Out comes the Genie. I will grant you each one wish but it can't be changedβ¦..The first guy shouts-out, turn the ocean to beer. The other two look at him then shake their heads and said, Well now I guess we will have to pee in the life raft.
I'm slowly getting over it
Especially when children are present
The cowboy says politely, Scuse me, sir.
The person looks over at the cowboy uncomfortably and responds, Uh, actually I'm non-binary. The cowboy tips his hat respectfully and says, Oh, pardon me M'theydy.
I told him, "the road ahead will be filled with bumps and dips, but soon, it'll straighten out." no one noticed I was talking about his heart rate monitor.
They got multiple goose bumps.
Well I hope it was a speed bump.
but it's ok, I'm slowly getting over them.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bumps pardon jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working bumps slap piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.