Bumper Stickers Jokes

What are some Bumper Stickers jokes?

I have a bumper sticker saying, "Honk if you think I'm sexy".

Some days I just stay at a green light till I'm feeling good about myself.

I have a bumper sticker that says...

"Honk if you think I'm sexy."

Then I wait at green lights till I feel better about myself.

I put a bumper sticker on my car that says "honk if I'm pretty"

Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights

I put a Honk if you think I'm sexy bumper sticker on my car.

My self confidence is skyrocketing!

A *TON* of people think I'm sexy at this green light right now....

I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit"

...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."

Missing South Africa

In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South Africa."

So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."

Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well

Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!

I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Work hard, Pray hard"....

I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians.

I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks.

Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.

I was in Florida recently to visit a good friend...

and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Detroit."

So I broke the window, stole the radio, and left a note that read...

"I hope this helps."

I got a new bumper sticker the other day.

It says 'honk if you think I'm sexy.'

I've never felt so confident. I should probably stop waiting at green lights though.

I have a bumper sticker in Braille

If you can read this, you're driving too close.

The woman's bumper sticker claimed she was pro-life...

...but her reckless driving suggested otherwise.

If we can get Al Franken to run for President, with the Green Party candidate as his running mate, my bumper sticker would be...

Franken Stein 2020

Black Car

I want a black car with a bumper sticker that says "I'm not racist, my car is black."

[True Story]: I was following a semi-truck full of coffins...

I tried to get as close as possible to read the bumper sticker on the back. When I could finally see the writing, it read "Drive safely. Yours may be on this load."

TEXAS SURVIVOR

Texas is trying to capitalize on the popularity of the show "Survivor" by hosting its own version.

Contestants will have to drive from Amarillo and visit checkpoints in the following cities, Lubbock - Dallas - Waco - Austin - Houston - Laredo - San Antonio - El Paso and finish back in Amarillo.

Contestants will be give a pink Saab with a bumper stickers that read, "I'm Gay, I'm Vegan, I Voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your guns!"
The contestant who makes it back to Amarillo alive...wins.

Isis bumper sticker

I'd rather be heading.

What does a bumper sticker and an old man have in common?

The older they are, the harder they are to get off.

Heading to work this morning there was a car parked on the train tracks, with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!"

That train engineer must have REALLY loved Jesus.

I saw a bumper sticker today that read

"My job is a Veterinarian, so I can drive like an animal!"

I suddenly realized how many how many Proctologists there are on the road!

The best way to disguise an undercover cop car

would be to put a Black Lives Matter bumper sticker on it. Nobody's gonna think thats a cop car now.

I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Be an organ donor!"...

They were doing 20 in a 30.

I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause.

How do you know if you're driving behind a physicist?

Their rear bumper has a red sticker that says "if this appears blue, you're driving too fast."

Hope it isn't too niche.

I saw a bumper sticker today.....

I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "My child has more chromosomes than yours (:"

.....what a retarded sense of humor

A Silicon Valley Bumper Sticker: My Other Car Is Autonomous...

...but I never drive it.

I put a bumper sticker on my car that says, "Honk if you think I'm sexy"

Now I'm spending hours a day standing at green lights

My dad rear ended a car today that had a Jesus bumper sticker on it...

..he stopped in the Name of the Lord.

I saw a great bumper sticker yesterday:

"Don't let the accidents in the back cause an accident in the front"

This morning I passed by a car that had a handicap marker and a bumper sticker that read "JESUS IS STILL THE ANSWER".

Made me laugh anyway.

Al Franken for president in 2020

Jill Stein for vice-president

Just think of the bumper sticker...

I don't understand this joke about genealogists.

I saw a joke on a bumper sticker.

It read "Genealogists don't die; they just lose their census". I could understand "census" sounding like "senses", but what does the census have to do with anything? And especially "not dying"?

I saw a bumper sticker from a NY Mets fan that said Eat, Mets, Sleep Repeat ...

..I'm not sure as a Yanks fan I could put that on bumpers sticker on my car.

My wife says I don't listen when she speaks to me...

Or something like that.
> (From a Bumper sticker I saw years ago)

So I notice this bumper sticker

It says " I'm a veterinarian and I drive like a animal" , so I think to myself that there must be a lot of gynecologists on the road these days...

Bumper stickers are like tattoos for cars...

permanent, identifying, and I don't love Regina anymore.

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?

A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.

How to make Bumper Stickers jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Bumper Stickers to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Bumper Stickers? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Bumper Stickers pick up lines to share with friends.

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