Bumper Sticker Jokes
53 bumper sticker jokes and hilarious bumper sticker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bumper sticker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bumper Sticker Short Jokes
Short bumper sticker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bumper sticker humour may include short bumper jokes also.
- I put a bumper sticker on my car that says "honk if I'm pretty" Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights
- I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying "I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal." Suddenly, I realized how many proctologists there are on the roads.
- Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker that said "I miss New york" So I smashed his window in and stole his radio.
- I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit" ...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."
- Missing South Africa In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps." - Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!
- I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks. Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.
- I saw a bumper sticker saying I am a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
- The woman's bumper sticker claimed she was pro-life... ...but her reckless driving suggested otherwise.
- If we can get Al Franken to run for President, with the Green Party candidate as his running mate, my bumper sticker would be... Franken Stein 2020
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Bumper Sticker One Liners
Which bumper sticker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bumper sticker? I can suggest the ones about sticker and bumper cars.
- I have a bumper sticker in Braille If you can read this, you're driving too close.
- Isis bumper sticker I'd rather be heading.
- A Silicon Valley Bumper Sticker: My Other Car Is Autonomous... ...but I never drive it.
- I want to get a Pence 2018 bumper sticker. But then again, who wouldn't?
- "If slaves are outlawed, only outlaws will have slaves." -1860s bumper sticker
- I just put a "Run Jeb, Run!" sticker on my car... On the front bumper.
- Bumper sticker reads.... Voices inside my tells me everything is going to be ok
- What does a p**...'s bumper sticker read? BEWARE
I break for children.
Bumper Sticker Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bumper sticker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean license plate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bumper sticker pranks.
TEXAS SURVIVOR
Texas is trying to capitalize on the popularity of the show "Survivor" by hosting its own version.
Contestants will have to drive from Amarillo and visit checkpoints in the following cities, Lubbock - Dallas - Waco - Austin - Houston - Laredo - San Antonio - El Paso and finish back in Amarillo.
Contestants will be give a pink Saab with a bumper stickers that read, "I'm Gay, I'm Vegan, I Voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your guns!"
The contestant who makes it back to Amarillo alive...wins.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Work hard, Pray hard"....
I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians.
So I notice this bumper sticker
It says " I'm a veterinarian and I drive like a animal" , so I think to myself that there must be a lot of gynecologists on the road these days...
Bumper stickers are like tattoos for cars...
permanent, identifying, and I don't love Regina anymore.
Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
I don't understand this joke about genealogists.
I saw a joke on a bumper sticker.
It read "Genealogists don't die; they just lose their census". I could understand "census" sounding like "senses", but what does the census have to do with anything? And especially "not dying"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My sergeant just told me this...
Im going to get an old car, take a sledge hammer to the back bumper repeatedly , then get a bumper sticker that says "I brake for tailgaters."
My crazy uncle from Alabama...
...suggested a bumper sticker:
"IF WE'D KNOWN YOU'D BE THIS MUCH TROUBLE WE'D HAVE PICKED THE COTTON OURSELVES"
Black Car
I want a black car with a bumper sticker that says "I'm not racist, my car is black."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bumper sticker
I boinked the mother of an honor roll student at Parkdale Elementary.
My wife...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a bumper sticker today.....
I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "My child has more chromosomes than yours (:"
.....what a r**... sense of humor
Heading to work this morning there was a car parked on the train tracks, with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!"
That train engineer must have REALLY loved Jesus.
[True Story]: I was following a semi-truck full of coffins...
I tried to get as close as possible to read the bumper sticker on the back. When I could finally see the writing, it read "Drive safely. Yours may be on this load."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Be an o**... donor!"...
They were doing 20 in a 30.
I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause.
My dad rear ended a car today that had a Jesus bumper sticker on it...
..he stopped in the Name of the Lord.
So....Whats the deal with atheists?
They don't believe in God, but they believe in bumper stickers?
I saw a great bumper sticker yesterday:
"Don't let the accidents in the back cause an accident in the front"
How do you know if you're driving behind a physicist?
Their rear bumper has a red sticker that says "if this appears blue, you're driving too fast."
Hope it isn't too niche.
This morning I passed by a car that had a handicap marker and a bumper sticker that read "JESUS IS STILL THE ANSWER".
Made me laugh anyway.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a bumper sticker saying, "Honk if you think I'm s**...".
Some days I just stay at a green light till I'm feeling good about myself.
What does a bumper sticker and an old man have in common?
The older they are, the harder they are to get off.
My wife says I don't listen when she speaks to me...
Or something like that.
> (From a Bumper sticker I saw years ago)
I saw a bumper sticker from a NY Mets fan that said Eat, Mets, Sleep Repeat ...
..I'm not sure as a Yanks fan I could put that on bumpers sticker on my car.
The best way to disguise an undercover cop car
would be to put a Black Lives Matter bumper sticker on it. Nobody's gonna think thats a cop car now.
I'm going to make a bumper sticker and put Honk if you think I'm pretty
And then I'm going to start stopping at green lights so I can feel good about myself.
Donald Trump goes to the Wizard of Oz for some help...
He tells the wizard, "I have the best brains, the best heart and the best courage of anyone, but if I'm going to win this election I need to make sure that everyone knows."
The Wizard of Oz looks at him and says, "so you don't need brains, heart or courage? You just need to convince others that you have all three?
The Wizard digs around in a bag and pulls out a bumper sticker. "Here, put this on your car."
Biden 2020
I was driving behind a guy with too many bumper stickers...
I had to follow him for ten miles just to read 'em.