Bumper Jokes

Funniest Bumper Short Jokes

Short bumper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bumper humour may include short bummer jokes also.

1. I put a bumper sticker on my car that says "honk if I'm pretty" Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights
2. I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying "I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal." Suddenly, I realized how many proctologists there are on the roads.
3. Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker that said "I miss New york" So I smashed his window in and stole his radio.
4. I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit" ...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."
5. Missing South Africa In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
   "I miss South africa."
   So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
   "I hope this helps."
6. Why do ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers? To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it
7. Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!
8. I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks. Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.
9. I saw a bumper sticker saying I am a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
10. The woman's bumper sticker claimed she was pro-life... ...but her reckless driving suggested otherwise.

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Bumper One Liners

Which bumper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bumper? I can suggest the ones about bumped and sticker.

1. I think I hit a duck. How do you know?
   There's a quack in the bumper.
2. I have a bumper sticker in Braille If you can read this, you're driving too close.
3. Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was attached to my bumper...
4. Isis bumper sticker I'd rather be heading.
5. A Silicon Valley Bumper Sticker: My Other Car Is Autonomous... ...but I never drive it.
6. How did the kid get across town so fast? He was tied to my bumper.
7. I have to admit, I have a bit of Christian blood. On the bumper of my truck.
8. What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
   Shark absorbers.
9. I want to get a Pence 2018 bumper sticker. But then again, who wouldn't?
10. "If slaves are outlawed, only outlaws will have slaves." -1860s bumper sticker
11. I just put a "Run Jeb, Run!" sticker on my car... On the front bumper.
12. Bumper sticker reads.... Voices inside my tells me everything is going to be ok
13. What does a p**...'s bumper sticker read? BEWARE
    I break for children.

Bumper Sticker Jokes

Here is a list of funny bumper sticker jokes and even better bumper sticker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If we can get Al Franken to run for President, with the Green Party candidate as his running mate, my bumper sticker would be... Franken Stein 2020
• Black Car I want a black car with a bumper sticker that says "I'm not racist, my car is black."
• The best way to disguise an undercover cop car would be to put a Black Lives Matter bumper sticker on it. Nobody's gonna think thats a cop car now.
• What does a bumper sticker and an old man have in common? The older they are, the harder they are to get off.
• Heading to work this morning there was a car parked on the train tracks, with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" That train engineer must have REALLY loved Jesus.
• How do you know if you're driving behind a physicist? Their rear bumper has a red sticker that says "if this appears blue, you're driving too fast."
  Hope it isn't too niche.
• I was driving behind a guy with too many bumper stickers... I had to follow him for ten miles just to read 'em.
• I saw a bumper sticker from a NY Mets fan that said Eat, Mets, Sleep Repeat ... ..I'm not sure as a Yanks fan I could put that on bumpers sticker on my car.
• This morning I passed by a car that had a handicap marker and a bumper sticker that read "JESUS IS STILL THE ANSWER". Made me laugh anyway.
• I saw a great bumper sticker yesterday: "Don't let the accidents in the back cause an accident in the front"

Bumper Cars Jokes

Here is a list of funny bumper cars jokes and even better bumper cars puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I just crashed into the back of a dwarf driver.... He gets out of the car inspects the rear bumper and goes up my window. "I'm not happy" he said "well which one are you then?"
• I'm going to the inaugural meeting of the Dodgem Car Appreciation Society later.
  
  They're expecting a bumper crowd.
• A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!
• My dad rear ended a car today that had a Jesus bumper sticker on it... ..he stopped in the Name of the Lord.
• Bumper stickers are like tattoos for cars... permanent, identifying, and I don't love Regina anymore.

Quirky and Hilarious Bumper Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about bumper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean buckle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bumper pranks.