Bumper Jokes

Funniest Bumper Short Jokes

Short bumper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bumper humour may include short bummer jokes also.

1. I put a bumper sticker on my car that says "honk if I'm pretty" Sometimes when I'm sad I go park at green lights
2. I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying "I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal." Suddenly, I realized how many proctologists there are on the roads.
3. Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker that said "I miss New york" So I smashed his window in and stole his radio.
4. I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit" ...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."
5. Missing South Africa In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
   "I miss South africa."
   So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
   "I hope this helps."
6. Why do ford vehicles have heated rear bumpers? To keep your hands warm when you're pushing it
7. Those "Run Hillary, Run!" bumper stickers are selling incredibly well Democrats put them on the back of their cars, Republicans put them on the front!
8. I saw a truck with a bumper sticker that said, I'm a vet so I drive like an animal… I then realized how many proctologists there are on the road.
9. As I was driving home from work last night, I saw a bumper sticker that said "I am a veterinarian, so I can drive like an animal". Suddenly I realized how many proctologist are on the road.
10. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Work hard, Pray hard".... I couldn't tell if there were Christians or Asians.

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Bumper One Liners

Which bumper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bumper? I can suggest the ones about bumped and sticker.

1. I think I hit a duck. How do you know?
   There's a quack in the bumper.
2. I have a bumper sticker in Braille If you can read this, you're driving too close.
3. Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was attached to my bumper...
4. Isis bumper sticker I'd rather be heading.
5. A Silicon Valley Bumper Sticker: My Other Car Is Autonomous... ...but I never drive it.
6. How did the kid get across town so fast? He was tied to my bumper.
7. I have to admit, I have a bit of Christian blood. On the bumper of my truck.
8. What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
   Shark absorbers.
9. I want to get a Pence 2018 bumper sticker. But then again, who wouldn't?
10. "If slaves are outlawed, only outlaws will have slaves." -1860s bumper sticker
11. I just put a "Run Jeb, Run!" sticker on my car... On the front bumper.
12. Bumper sticker reads.... Voices inside my tells me everything is going to be ok
13. What does a p**...'s bumper sticker read? BEWARE
    I break for children.

Bumper Sticker Jokes

Here is a list of funny bumper sticker jokes and even better bumper sticker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I parked in three different handicap parking spots last week. No ticket, and no dirty looks. Apparently the "MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" bumper sticker is accepted nation wide now.
• I saw a bumper sticker saying I am a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
• I saw a bumper sticker that said "I'm a veterinarian, so I drive like an animal" Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road around these parts
• The woman's bumper sticker claimed she was pro-life... ...but her reckless driving suggested otherwise.
• If we can get Al Franken to run for President, with the Green Party candidate as his running mate, my bumper sticker would be... Franken Stein 2020
• Black Car I want a black car with a bumper sticker that says "I'm not racist, my car is black."
• The best way to disguise an undercover cop car would be to put a Black Lives Matter bumper sticker on it. Nobody's gonna think thats a cop car now.
• Driving down the road today. I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying:
  "I am a vet, therefore I can drive like an animal."
  Suddenly I realized how many gynecologists are on the roads.
• Earlier today I saw a bumper sticker It said "I'm a veterinarian, therefore I can drive like an animal!"
  Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road!
• What does a bumper sticker and an old man have in common? The older they are, the harder they are to get off.

Bumper Cars Jokes

Here is a list of funny bumper cars jokes and even better bumper cars puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I just crashed into the back of a dwarf driver.... He gets out of the car inspects the rear bumper and goes up my window. "I'm not happy" he said "well which one are you then?"
• Heading to work this morning there was a car parked on the train tracks, with a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" That train engineer must have REALLY loved Jesus.
• I'm going to the inaugural meeting of the Dodgem Car Appreciation Society later.
  
  They're expecting a bumper crowd.
• A carny invited me back to her place for a good time last night... She wasn't kidding, there were bumper cars, a ghost train and a mechanical bull. I had a blast!
• I saw a bumper sticker from a NY Mets fan that said Eat, Mets, Sleep Repeat ... ..I'm not sure as a Yanks fan I could put that on bumpers sticker on my car.
• This morning I passed by a car that had a handicap marker and a bumper sticker that read "JESUS IS STILL THE ANSWER". Made me laugh anyway.
• My dad rear ended a car today that had a Jesus bumper sticker on it... ..he stopped in the Name of the Lord.
• My sergeant just told me this... Im going to get an old car, take a sledge hammer to the back bumper repeatedly , then get a bumper sticker that says "I brake for tailgaters."
• Bumper stickers are like tattoos for cars... permanent, identifying, and I don't love Regina anymore.
• I put a Honk if you think I'm s**... bumper sticker on my car. My self confidence is skyrocketing!
  A *TON* of people think I'm s**... at this green light right now....

Quirky and Hilarious Bumper Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about bumper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean buckle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bumper pranks.