The Best 55 Bully Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Bully jokes. There are some bully thug jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bully recess puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Bully Jokes and Puns
What does a bully say to someone with severe depression?
Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!
A bully, a baby, and a carrot walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "What'll you have, Mr. Boehner?"
The boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money....
He serves up a great burger and fries.
You should never bully fat people....
They have enough on their plates
Gravity is such a bully...
It always brings us down.
What's the difference between a personal trainer and a bully?
None, they still take your money after beating you up.
I lost my watch at a party...
Saw a guy stepping on it while bullying a smaller dude. I walked up to the guy, and punched him. It's not okay to bully... not on my watch.
How would you describe the average bully?
Mean.
Did you hear about the organic compound who became a bully?
Mean ether.
A schoolyard bully asked all of his usual victims to get together and be waiting for him so he could get through all of his beatings quickly this time, but none of them showed up.
End of joke. There was no punchline.
My highschool bully still takes my lunch money...
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
You can explore bully kid reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bully ima dad jokes. There are also bully puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
When I'm a dad, I want to call my child "Welcome".
So that when they ask me "Dad, why did you give me such a terrible name? All my peers bully me, and it's making my life miserable." I can tell them "You're Welcome."
The bully who used to take my lunch money from me in middle school still takes my lunch money from me everyday
Except now he works at Subway and I'm on my lunch break
"Mom, kids at school bully me saying I'm a Backstreet Boy"
"Who is calling you that? "
"Everybooody.... Yeeeeeeaaahh"
The guy who used to bully me in middle school still takes my lunch money.
On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
What do you call a mean cow?
A bully.
What did the Japanese teacher say to the class bully?
Donburi.
I'll show myself out..
Why does Earth bully Mars?
Because it has no life.
Why does Earth bully other planets?
Because they have no life.
I once told a bully " don't mess with me, I know karate " ...
& 4 other Japanese words.
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will bully him because of his name...
I said, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"
The cellphone goes off in class...
Bully: "Aww, Is your Mommy calling you?"
The class emerges in snickers.
You: "Nope. Yours is."
The class becomes silent.
What is it called when you bully a midget?
Micro aggression
What did the bully say to Nasa?
Gimmie (all) your launch money
Bully
Son: Dad a guy at school keeps calling me gay.
Dad: Punch him in the throat son...
Son: But dad, he is so cute.
My dad sat me down and told me I needed to stop "playing the victim"
But he's just a vindictive bully
What did the blonde say when the classroom bully stole her pencil?
I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW
Why are orphans so easy to bully?
They can't tell their parents.
I was bullied...
When I was a little kid this other kid in a wheelchair used to bully me but I couldn't do anything about it because I felt bad making fun of him. So for the rest of my life people knew me as the guy who "couldn't stand up for himself" and I think that's ironic considering it all.
When I was a kid the school bully used to rub my head against some sandpaper
I was no match for him
It wasn't when the bully called me a big fat doughboy that hurt as much as the punch in my stomach.
It left a big impression.
Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair?
Because they can't stand up for themselves.
Did you hear about that masochistic bully?
He was just begging to get punched
To this day, my bully that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the positive side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
A pharmaceutical scientist I knew kept bullying me
I'm going to bully him back so he can have a taste of his own medicine.
The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?"
Ummm, "150 points?"
I ran into my high school bully yesterday
Unfortunately he was wearing his seatbelt
When I was younger a bully used to take my money...
He still does, but now he asks if I want fries with my order.
To the office bully. You're all bark and no bite...
Except when it comes to pillows...
What does an emo bully give you?
Edgy wedgies.
I met this little boy today who told me he is starting at a new school tomorrow and was afraid that the other kids would bully him.
I told him, "Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize. Why would anyone pick on you?"
Why should you never bully a fifth grader gypsy?
Because his father is in the eleventh grade.
What did the electron say to bully the photon?
"You don't matter."
I've been bullying this kid
Good thing hes an orphan. Who's he gonna tell, his parents?
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to them.
Trust me, I have bullied a *lot* of people.
An apple a day keeps the bully away
If you throw hard enough
What do you call a vegetable that always bully you?
A BEATroot
At school one day, a bully told me I had a face only a mother could love.
I went home and found out I was adopted.
The kid that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
What did the bully use when he experimented with the dark arts?
A Wedgie Board.
A bully walks into a bar
He walks to a man whose eyes are on the ground and grabs away his drink. He gulps it loudly and after it is finished he let out a disgusting belch. Then he asks in a woeful tone: "what happens, granpa?".
The man lifts his eyes and sighs: "yesterday I got fired from my job and when I returned home I caught my wife sleeping with my brother. Today I woke up and found that my kids and wife are not home so I decided to kill myself but I couldn't do it".
The bully puts a gloating smile and asks: "why? Are you not manly enough even to kill yourself?".
"No. Because you drank up my beer".
Only Batman can protect the pig
A guy walks into a bar with a pig dressed all in black on a leash and orders a beer. "Um, what's with the dressed up pig?" the bartender asks. "It's my pet pig. He's dressed all in black for his own safety. This way no one can bully or harrass him," the guy tells the bartender. "Because Batman is sworn to protect goth ham."
What do you do when a playground bully stands one inch away and say "I'm not touching you...I'm not touching you.."?
Hope that he pulls the army back to the Kremlin soon.
My old high school bully contacted me. He's gone vegan now.
So he doesn't have a beef with me any longer.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bully fascination jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working bully pushy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.