bullshi Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious bullshi puns

bullshit excuse

I used to smoke pot and arrive late for class. Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. Slink down low at my desk. Pray to god nobody asked me any questions. I was the best teacher ever.

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This is Bullshit. Since when is dressing for the job you want, not the job you have considered "impersonating an officer"?

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Bullshit

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon, he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him right out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

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You know what's bullshit?

Grass. Grass is a bull's shit.

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If bullshit was a snowflake...

I'd be in a fuckin blizzard right now

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Don't Bullshit Your Mother

Mrs. Rabin comes to visit her son Bernie for dinner.

He lives with a female roommate, Elaine. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Bernie's roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Bernie and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Bernie volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Elaine and I are just roommates.''

About a week later, Elaine came to Bernie saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote an email:

*Dear Mom
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house ; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Your Loving Son
Bernie*

Several days later, Bernie received a response email from his Mom which read:

*Dear son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Elaine, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mother*

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What are the most funny Bullshi jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Bullshi? Well, here are the best Bullshi dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Bullshi pick up lines to share with friends.

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