The Best 6 Bullet Wounds Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bullet Wounds jokes. There are some bullet wounds jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bullet wounds puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Bullet Wounds Jokes and Puns

So an old lady's husband dies...

The old lady depressed and wants to kill herself goes to the doctor and asks him "Where is the heart located?" The doctor tells her it is under the left breast. The old lady goes to the gun store and buys a gun, goes home and puts the gun under her left breast and pulls the trigger. The old lady was soon admitted to the hospital with a bullet wound to her left knee.

A blonde was rushed to the hospital

A blonde was rushed to the hospital with a bullet wound in her index finger.

Doctor: how did this happen?

Blonde: I tried to suicide.

Doctor: you shot your finger for suicide?

Blonde: No, I shot in my ear. But just before pulling the trigger, I realized that there would be a loud bang, so I closed my other ear with my finger.

A Mexican man was found dead at the bottom of a lake.

He was tied up, had chains wrapped around him, and had seven bullet wounds.

When the local sheriff was asked what had happened, the sheriff replied, It is truly the worst damn case of suicide I've ever seen.

A Jewish and Russian soldier come under heavy fire...

As both engage the enemy the Jewish soldier is struck with a bullet and mortally wounded.

The Russian soldier continues to return fire and hold back the enemy, eventually however his ammo is spent.
He looks to his Jewish comrade and says I cannot hold them back, I'm out of ammunition

The Jew, struggling to keep his eyes open motions the Russian over. Here he says you can buy some of mine .

What do you call a black man with a bullet wound?

An ambulance. You call him an ambulance.


Semper Fi, Motherf*****

A Taliban division is patrolling the desert when, over a nearby dune, they hear a voice call out "One Marine is worth 10 Taliban." The Taliban commander sends 10 of his men over the dune, and a gun battle ensues, then silence.

Then the voice laughs and says "One marine is tougher than 100 Taliban." Angered, the commander sends 100 of his troops over the dune. A fierce gun battle breaks out, then silence.

Then the voice once again calls out: "The Taliban are wimps. One Marine can smash 1000 of you cowards!" Enraged, the commander sends 1000 of his best men over the dune. Bullets are flying everywhere, grenades exploding left and right, and then silence again.

Then, through the smoke, one badly wounded Taliban soldier crawls back over the dune. He looks at his commander and says "Don't send any more men, it's a trap. There are actually TWO of them!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bullet wounds jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bullet wounds piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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