Bulldog Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A kid walks up to his dad... "Daddy, what does a vagina look like?"

His dad asks: "Do you mean before or after sex?"

Kid: "What's the difference?"

Dad: "Okay think of the most beautiful flower you've ever seen, with pink, symetrical petals, a thing of pure
beauty... do you have that image in your head?" - "yes, daddy" - "Well son, that's what a vagina looks like before sex!"

Kid: "And what does it look like after?"

Dad: "Well... ever seen a bulldog who ate a jar of majonaise?"

A young boy comes home from school after learning about sexual health and asks

Boy - 'Dad what does a vagina look like?'

Father - 'Well son, that depends. Are you interested before sex or after sex?'

Boy - 'Urmmm, before'

Father - 'It resembles the beautiful petals on a rose'

Boy - ' And what about after sex?'

Father - ' Son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?'

One day a young boy asks his grandfather, "grandpa what does a vagina look like?"

"Before or after sex?" The grandfather replied.
"Um before" said the boy.
"Like a rose in an early spring morning."
"What about after sex?"
The grandfather paused for a second and thought. "Have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?"

Little boy asked his father

'Daddy, what does a vagina look like?'

The father thinks for a moment, then responds, "well son, that depends. before sex, or after sex?"

The little boy has no idea, so confusedly says, "umm.. both i guess."

"Well son, before sex, the vagina is like a fragrant flower. Soft, gentle and full of beauty."

"Ok daddy.. what about after sex?"

"well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

A joke my grandmother, of all people, told me when I was a kid.

I don't know how many of y'all have heard this joke, but here it goes.

Two guys were at a University of Georgia football game when one of them looks down at the Georgia Bulldog sidelines and sees Uga, the school mascot, licking himself like dogs like to do. The guy smiles, leans over to his buddy while pointing at Uga and says, "Man, I wish I could do that". His friend looks back at him in surprise and says, "Man, that dog would bite you!"

What do you get when you mix a bulldog and a shi'tzu?

The worst smoothie I've ever had and arrested, apparently.

One day, little Timmy asks his father what a vagina looks like...

"Before sex," his father replies, "it looks like a delicate rose that's just bloomed."

"Oh," Timmy replies matter-of-factly. "What about after sex?"

"Well..." the father says, pondering, "have you ever seen a bulldog eat milk gravy?"

[NSFW] What does a vagina look like?

A little boy goes up to his father and says "Daddy...what does a vagina look like?" The father, slightly taken aback, kindly replies "Well son, before sex it looks like a closed rose bud."

The son says "Oh that's nice daddy! Well, what about after sex?"

The father thinks for a moment and gently responds "have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?"

A little boy comes home from school....

and tells his father "we learned a new word at school today, Vagina"

"Daddy, they told us what a vagina is but, what does a vagina look like?"

Daddy says "Son, before sex a vagina looks like a rosebud just getting ready to bloom"

little boy asks "what does a vagina look like after sex?"

daddy replies "Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise.....?"

A boy asks his father what a pussy looks like

The father replies, "Well son, before sex it looks like the most beautiful delicate flower you've ever laid eyes on!"
"Before sex? What about after?" asks the boy.
The father replies, "Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

Enjoy

A son ask his Father "What does a vagina look like"? The dad said "Like a beautiful rose". He continued to say "and after sex, it looks like a bulldog eating mayonnaise".

This young boy asks his father what a vagina looks like before sex..

His father says "Well son, it looks like a beautiful rose." The kid then asks what it looks like after sex. The father replies "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise? "

A Bulldog, Doberman, and a Chihuahua Walk Into a Bar...

A Bulldog, Doberman, and Chihuahua walk into a bar looking for a cool drink. A beautiful female Collie struts by and stops at their table, saying: "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese!" The Collie replies: "That's not good enough for me."

The Bulldog grumbles, "I hate liver and cheese." The Collies says: "That's not creative enough for me."

Finally the Chihuahua says: "Liver alone... cheese mine."

Three horny dogs

There were three horny dogs (A British bulldog, A German shephard and a Chihuaha)

A poodle walked by and she says "Ill let one of you fuck me if you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence"

The Bulldog says "I hate liver and cheese"

She says "Nope that wont work"

The German shephard says "I love liver and cheese"

She says "Nope that wont work"

The Chihuaha says "Liver alone cheese all mine"

What do you get when you cross an English bulldog and a Shih Tzu?

A bull-shiht!

A young boy asked his father what a vagina looks like...

"Well," said the father, "before sex, a vagina looks like a beautiful, unopened rose."

The boy thought for a minute and said, "Dad, what does a vagina look like after sex?"

"Son," said the father, "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"

I had a bulldog and it mated with a Shitzu

Now I have a bullshit

(Haha asian dude high as fuck told me this joke)

What do you call a Korean bulldog?

A bul-dog-gi

What do you get when you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu?

A mutt.

The young man asked his dad what a vagina looks like.

The dad says, "Well son, before sex, the vagina looks like a delicious peach."

Son says, "Oh. Well, what does it look like after sex, dad?"

"Well, son", the dad answers, "after sex, it looks like a bulldog eating mayonnaise."

NSFW A teenage boy asks his father what a vagina looks like before sex

His father replied "They are a beauty to see as they glisten all soft and moist"
The son ponders that for a moment and asks "So what do they look like after sex?"
"Picture a bulldog eating custard....."

A son asks his father what a vagina looks like...

The father answers: "Son, before sex, a vagina looks like a beautiful flower with its petals opening up and beckoning you in."

The son thinks about this and asks: "Well, what does a vagina look like *after* sex then?"

Father replies: "Imagine a bulldog that's been eating custard..."

Vagina

A little boy comes home from school and tells his father "hey, Dad we learned a new word at school today."

Dad says"really? what word?"

"Vagina....Daddy.what does a vagina look like?"

Dad says "Son, before sex a vagina looks just like a rosebud just waiting to bloom."

Son says "well, what does it look like AFTER sex?"

Dad says "Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

What do you call a Bulldog - Shih Tzu mix?

A Tzu Dog. Because your other idea was bullshit.

What do you get if you mix a bulldog and a shih tzu?

Bullshit...

What do you call a Korean bulldog?

*buldogi*

My neighbor's Shih Tzu dog mated with my Bulldog.

now I have a Bullshiht.

Birds and the bees.

A little boy asks his father, "dad? I know what my private parts look like but what does a girl's look like?"

The dad, shocked by his sons question, thinks hard about his answer, "son" he says, "imagine a bright pink rose on a dewy morning."

The son ponders this then asks, "well what does it look like after sex?"

The father chuckles, "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

A little boy asks his dad "what does a vagina look like?"

"Well, son" he replies, "before it gets fucked it looks like beautiful rose petals, with a drop of glistening dew at the apex."
"What about after it's been fucked, daddy" he asks.
"Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

A father is giving his son the talk.

After he is done, the father asks his son if there are any questions he has.

The boy asks, "What does a vagina look like before sex?"

The father answers by stating that it's like a rose, with all its petals neatly arranged.

The boy asks another question. "What does a vagina look like *after* sex?"

The father hesitates a bit and asks the child, "Ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"

What do you call a cross between a bulldog and shitzu?

Its called "Whatever comes out of Donald Trump's mouth".

I really gotta quit drinking. Last night I got so wasted I blew chunks for hours...

Chunks is my 4 year old bulldog.

What do you get when you mix a shiatsu with a bulldog.

You get a bullshit.

One time we successfully mated a bulldog and a shih tzu

We called it a bullshit

What are the funniest bulldog jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Bulldog? Well, here are the best Bulldog puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Bulldog pick up lines to share with friends.

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