Bull Jokes
154 bull jokes and hilarious bull puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bull that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud to the wildest bull jokes that will have you rolling in the aisles. From red and blue bulls to mechanical bulls and old bulls with riders, we’ve got the best senor jokes and puns about horns. Read on for some truly hilarious laughs!
Quick Jump To
- Short Bull Jokes
- Bull One Liners
- Red Bull Jokes
- Pit Bull Jokes
- Old Bull Jokes
- Charging Bull Jokes
- Blue Bull Jokes
- More Bull Jokes
Funniest Bull Short Jokes
Short bull jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bull humour may include short balls jokes also.
- My 9 year old daughter made up this joke. "Why did the bull get fat?" Because he ate too many cowleries.
- Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 cases of red bull I don't know how these people sleep at night
- This morning I made my coffee using Red Bull instead of water... ...After 15 minutes on the highway I realized I left my car at home...
- I love how Pit Bull announces himself at the beginning of every song giving us time to change the song.
- I once mixed Red Bull and coffee After 20 minutes on highway I noticed that I forgot my car at home
- A group of teenagers robbed our local supermarket and stole 180 cans of red bull. I don't know how these people can sleep at night.
- What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock? barn and no-bulls.
(This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.) - I didn't sleep so well last night... So this morning I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.
I made it halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car. - Today I accidentally made my coffee with red bull instead of water. I got halfway to work before I realised I forgot my car.
- I woke up late one morning so I made my coffee using Red Bull instead of water I got halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
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Bull One Liners
Which bull one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bull? I can suggest the ones about buzz and blast.
- What do you get when you pour Red Bull onto a clock? A waste of time and energy.
- Never believe minotaurs... Half of everything they say is bull.
- What do you call a Bull that has swallowed a grenade? Abominable.
- What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye? Bull dozer
- What animal has four legs and one arm? A pit bull on a playground.
- Bobby told Billy he stopped a stampede. That was the biggest bunch of bull he ever herd.
- What do you call a cow with one udder? A bull.
- I poured Red Bull into my CPAP machine... Got a full night's sleep in 45 minutes.
- Injuries during bull fighting are completely avoidable All you have to do is avoid-a-bull
- How do bulls write? With a bullpen.
- Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before
- I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull.
- What do you call an explosive cow in the winter? An a-bomb-in-a-bull snowman!
- How do you know you've mistaken a bull for a cow? The taste of the milk.
- What did the bull say to his calf at 9pm? It's pasture bedtime!
Red Bull Jokes
Here is a list of funny red bull jokes and even better red bull puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Someone stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our local store. I don't know how they can sleep at night.
- A couple of guys stole hundreds of cans of Red Bull from our neighborhood store. I don't know how they can sleep at night.
- Someone broke into my local corner shop and stole 30 cases of Red Bull last night Honestly, I don't know how these people sleep at night
- My coffee wasn't strong enough. So, yesterday instead of using water, I brewed with Red Bull. I got halfway to work before I realised I'd forgotten my car.
- Someone stole £5000 worth of Red Bull from a local delivery truck. How do these people sleep at night?
- Tried to make my coffee with Red Bull today... I made it all the way to work before I realized I had forgotten my truck.
- Thieves stole 30 crates of red bull from our local supermarket I don't know how they sleep at night
- This morning I mixed Red Bull with my coffee This morning I mixed Red Bull with my coffee. I was more than half way to work before I realized that I forgot my car.
- This morning I acidentally made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water. I got half way to work before I realized I had forgotten my car.
- Did you hear about the kid who refused to drink his Red Bull.... Now he's grounded!
Pit Bull Jokes
Here is a list of funny pit bull jokes and even better pit bull puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull? A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.
- What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS? The guy that gave it to him.
- Everyone thinks lawyers are a bunch of sharks, rats and pit-bulls! But really, they're all liti-gators
- What is the difference between a hockey mom & a pit bull? Pit bulls are intelligent and loving.
- What do you get when you cross a dachshund with a Pit Bull? A Wiener-Pit, just like your mom.
- what do you get if you cross a poodle with a pit bull? not much of a watchdog, but it's a vicious gossip.
- What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull and a computer? A lot of bytes.
- What's the difference between a social worker and a pit bull? At least you can get some of your baby back from a pit bull.
- What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
- An appeals court has upheld a ban on pit bulls Another victory in the war on terrier
Old Bull Jokes
Here is a list of funny old bull jokes and even better old bull puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
Charging Bull Jokes
Here is a list of funny charging bull jokes and even better charging bull puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7? I'm not scared when the bull charges
- I'm in a band called Tired Bull. You should come to one of our shows.
We don't charge. - How do you stop a bull from charging? Just take away his credit card
- Another farmer asked me why I had branded my bull with the Apple logo. I replied "to stop it from charging".
- Why does the farmer let walkers cross his field for free?.... ....because the bull charges.
- What should you do when a bull charges you? Pay him
Blue Bull Jokes
Here is a list of funny blue bull jokes and even better blue bull puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Energy drink company Red Bull have released a version for s**... frustrated people. Blue Bull's out soon.
Silly Bull Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about bull you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bung jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bull pranks.
When are bullies the most active?
In the meantime
My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again.
Tomorrow, I'll bring an MP5.
Bullets are so weird
They only do their job AFTER they're fired
I tried brewing my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.
I drank it and left my house to go to work. After 15 minutes I realized I forgot my car.
Mad Cow Disease
There are two cows out in the pasture, watching as the farmer takes a prize bull behind the barn to shoot it.
The first cow looks at the second one and says "Can't believe Joe came down with mad cow disease. Are you scared we might get it too?"
The second cow looks at the first cow with a puzzled look and says "Why should I be scared? We're ducks."
I artificially inseminated a cow this morning! It's true!
No bull!
Two bulls are standing in a field.....
..its a cold morning and one bull says to the other..
"It's a bit chilly this morning"
to which the second bull says
"I know, i might just go slip into a jersey........."
Irish cream
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, It produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, So they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but no matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull. The people were very upset and decided to go to The Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. " The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this Before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?" The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland . "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland ? The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland "
What does a bully say to someone with severe depression?
Stop hating yourself, stop hating yourself!
Don't b**... Your Mother
Mrs. Rabin comes to visit her son Bernie for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Elaine. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Bernie's roommate is. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Bernie and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Bernie volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Elaine and I are just roommates.''
About a week later, Elaine came to Bernie saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote an email:
*Dear Mom
I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house ; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Your Loving Son
Bernie*
Several days later, Bernie received a response email from his Mom which read:
*Dear son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Elaine, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.
Your Loving Mother*
A man is very thirsty...
A man is very thirsty. As he is stumbling down the country road he sees a cow grazing in front of a cottage. "I'm saved!", he says to himself as he milks the cow and quenches his thirst.
The man knocks on the door to pay for the milk. "Your cow's milk saved me," he says. The home owner replies, "Cow? I don't own a cow, I just have a bull."
A bully, a baby, and a carrot walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "What'll you have, Mr. Boehner?"
Who Hasn't Read The Grapes of Wrath?
Farm boy John takes the cow to the neighboring farm which has a bull to have her inseminated. The neighboring farm also has neighbor farmer's daughter Sally. John and Sally put the bull and the cow in the same pasture and sit on the back porch and watch as nature takes its course. This gives John ideas so he turns to Sally and says, "I sure wish I was doing that". And Sally says, "Why don't you, John? It's your cow".
A man was walking in Central Park in NYC...
Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says, "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".
The man says, "But I am not a New Yorker!"
"Oh ,then it will say in newspapers tomorrow morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" the policeman replied.
"But I am not even an American!" Says the man.
"Oh, what are you then?" The policeman asks.
The man replies, "I am a Saudi!"
The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog."
A Young Bull and an Old Bull
are standing on a hill and see cows in the pasture below.
The young bull eagerly says, "Let's run down there and screw one of those cows!"
"No," the older bull replies, "Let's *walk* down there and screw *all* of them."
What did the bullied microchip say?
PIC on someone your own size!
Old Jewish joke.
A group of Ukrainian villagers are trying to get a cow to mate with a bull.
Try as they might, the cow refused to mate with any bull at all.
The villagers take the cow to the rabbi to ask for help.
The Rabbi inspects the cow then asks the villagers, "is the cow from Kiev?"
"Yes..." replied the villagers.
"Aha," exclaimed the Rabbi "that's why she won't mate with the bull."
"How do you know this?" asked the villagers, intrigued.
"My wife's from Kiev." replied the Rabbi.
A bullet walks into a bar, depressed.
"Why the sad face?" asks the bartender.
"I got fired."
This is b**.... Since when is dressing for the job you want, not the job you have considered "impersonating an officer"?
You should never bully fat people....
They have enough on their plates
I put Red Bull in the hummingbird feeder.
I'm pretty sure I just saw one go back in time...
Rescue attempts are being made to save a bull stranded on Mt. Everest
Reports confirm that the steaks have never been higher.
A man asks a farmer near a field,
A man asks a farmer near a field, Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.
The farmer says, Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one.
A bull was deployed for servicing the cows on a farm
A bull was deployed for servicing the cows on a farm.
Lady asks the farm manager: "How many times can this bull perform?"
Manager replies: "5 to 6 times in a day".
Lady looks at her husband: "You see?"
Husband asks the manager: "Is it the same cow every time?"
Manager: "No sir it's a different cow every time."
Man looks back to wife: "You see!"
Motivation
A bull was deployed for servicing the cows on a farm.
Lady asks the farm manager: "How many times can this bull perform?"
Manager replies: "5 to 6 times in a day".
Lady looks at her husband: "You see?"
Husband asks the manager: "Is it the same cow every time?"
Manager: "No sir it's a different cow every time."
Man looks back to wife: "You see!"
a man takes his crossed-eyed bull dog to the vet..
The vet examines him, looks in his eyes, ears, mouth.
he picks up the dog and checks his legs and belly. finally, the vet says "i'm gonna have to put him down"
"because he's cross-eyed?" asks the man
"no, because he's really heavy."
An Indian Chief is sitting under a tree...
An Indian Chief and his son are sitting under a tree, looking out over the plains when his son asks: "Father, why is sister named, Running Deer?"
Chief: "Because, my son, when she was being born I looked out of the teepee and saw a deer running."
Son: "Father, why is brother called Charging Bull?"
Chief: "Because my son, when he was being born I looked out of the teepee and saw a bull running. Why do you ask, p**... Dog?
What's the difference between a poodle h**... your leg and a pit bull h**... your leg?
You let the pit bull finish.
There are two cows standing in a field....
The first cow says to the other, I was artificially inseminated this morning. The second cow replies, No way, I don't believe you. The first says, It's true, no bull.
Bunch of scumbags stole 20 crates of Red Bull from my local store...
I don't know how those b**... sleep at night...
What do you call a half bull dog half shitzu?
b**...
"Would you take a bullet for the last person you had s**... with?"
"Of course, anything for family!"
Old joke (1930s) - Little kid comes in late to school. Teacher says, "Why ya late?"...
Kid says, "Had a take a heifer down—get 'er bred."
Teacher says, "Couldn't your father do it?"
Kid says, "Sure he could, but not as good as the bull."
What did the bully say to Nasa?
Gimmie (all) your launch money
Bullies and s**... have in common::
The One-in-a-Million chance of becoming a Human Being.
You see?
A husband and wife visited a farm. They saw a bull having s**... with a cow. The wife asked the farm manager.
Wife: "How many times does a bull have s**... per day?"
Manager: "4 times a day."
The wife looked at her husband and said ".... you see!"
Then the husband asked the manager.
Husband: "U mean 4 times a day with the same cow?"
Manager: "No, no, with different cows everyday."
Husband looked to his wife and said: " ....you see!"
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
Why did the bull tear up the used book store?
They were all read.
For my wife and I, s**... is a lot like bull riding
It's always a challenge for me to last the whole 8 seconds.
One cow says to another, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
The second cow replies, "No way, I don't believe you."
The first says, "It's true, no bull."
I once saw 4 bullies fighting an 8 year old so I decided to help out...
He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us.
This morning I was really tired, so I made my coffee with Red Bull instead of water.
I got halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.
________________
Not really a joke, I just heard this years ago and it still makes me laugh.
I was bullied...
When I was a little kid this other kid in a wheelchair used to bully me but I couldn't do anything about it because I felt bad making fun of him. So for the rest of my life people knew me as the guy who "couldn't stand up for himself" and I think that's ironic considering it all.
50 cows and 1 bull were standing in a field...
A sudden strong breeze came and blew all the cows over, but not the bull. A cow walked over and asked the bull, why didn't that breeze blow you over? The bull replied, we bulls wobble but we don't fall down
The bully loomed threateningly over the nerd and said, "You know what snitches get don't you?"
Ummm, "150 points?"
A group of lads go out for a night and then go to a cowboy themed bar.
When they go in they see that the bar has installed a spinning bull. They all have a go and the bull spins them around and they all fall off within 30 seconds.Up steps p**... and he jumps on the bull and he stays on for 10 minutes before falling off . The rest of the lads ask how he managed to stay on for so long and he replies
"my wifes epileptic"
The plant markets have been bull lately...
The stalks have been going up!
Breaking news: £500,000 worth of red bull stolen in The UK
How do those b**... sleep at night?
The Mayor's meal
In Spain, there is a tradition after a bullfight to serve the mayor the bull's t**....
One day after a bullfight, the mayor asks the waiter: Funny, why are they so small today?
The waiter: Today, sir, the bull won.
What's Donald Trump's Native American name?
Talking Bull
I got really frustrated and my wife warned me not to cuss when the kids were around.
Me: This is such bull-
Wife: Shhh, say snake instead
Me: Oh right.. This is such snakeshit
Close one
Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.
Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!
Missed school yesterday
A little boy didn't go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said "Our cow was in heat, so I had to take her to the bull."
"How disgusting," said the teacher. "I'm sure your father could have done that."
"No ma'am, he couldn't have. It has to be the bull."
My government is spreading obviously false covid-19 info about x-mas parties
Here in Sweden the government lies and says that we can have Christmas gatherings of up to 8 people without any problems. Such obvious bull! Who knows 8 people without any problems?
