Bulge Jokes

25 bulge jokes and hilarious bulge puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bulge that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bulge Short Jokes

Short bulge jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bulge humour may include short lump jokes also.

  1. I bought a pug for my wife. Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.
  2. Regretting the compliment... A woman walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?" He says, "Really! Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
  3. My wife really wanted a dog, so I bought her a pug. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her.
  4. I bought my wife a pug recently Despite the flat nose, ugly wrinkles and bulging eyes, the pug likes my wife
  5. My friend, who noticed a bulge in my pocket says "What's that"? I said "Golf ball". He says "Oh man, that must hurt! I had tennis elbow once."
  6. A man walks up to a hotel counter to check out. The woman at the counter notices his bulge, and can't help but stare at it. The man asks what are you doing? The woman says I'm checking you out.
  7. I bought my wife a pug dog yesterday... Despite the bulging eyes, squashed face and rolls of fat, the dog seems to like her.
  8. Got the wife a Pug Dog yesterday, despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat... the Dog seems to like her.
  9. Handshake Him: That's a firm handshake for a woman.
    Her: That's a small bulge for a man.
    Him: Your mom didn't think so.
    Her: My mom died.
    Him: Of exhaustion.
  10. I got caught smuggling a gun to the furry convention Security guard *(notices bulge)* OwO what's this?!!

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Bulge One Liners

Which bulge one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bulge? I can suggest the ones about bulb and swelling.

  1. What do Caitlyn Jenner and WWII have in common? The Battle of the Bulge.
  2. What is the best country for overweight people? Bulge-area
  3. Which World War II battle is favorite amongst women? Battle of the bulge
  4. Who won the Battle of the Bulge? The guy with the bulge in his sock ...
  5. What do you call a veteran's uncomfortable e**...? Battle of the bulge
  6. r**... give head so good I even heard of this Asian guy whose eyes bulged out after.
  7. What do you call a WW2 soldier trying to conceal an e**...? Battle of the Bulge
  8. Did you know the average frog as s**... for 24 hours! Know wonder their eyes bulge.

Bulge joke, Did you know the average frog as s**... for 24 hours!

Charming Humor Bulge Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about bulge you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean surge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bulge pranks.

I was having a prostate exam...

Doctor: Don't worry, it's perfectly fine to have an e**... at a time like this.
So I tried to ignore the bulge in his pants.

This girl said she could see a bulge in my swim shorts and I was flattered.

I looked down at my c**... and she said, "The other side."

Moth Inspector

A man and a woman are getting it on in bed when they hear the front door open. The woman says, "It's my husband! You'd better hide."
She throws his clothes under the bed and he hides behind the curtains. Her husband comes in, sees her all hot and sweaty, and the sheets all messed up. He looks around, and sees a big bulge in the curtains, and a pair of feet sticking out underneath. He whips the curtains open, and says, "Who the h**... are you?"
The man says, "I'm the moth inspector."
The husband says, "Moth inspector? Why are you n**...?"
The man looks down and says, "d**.... I'm too late."

There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions

What happened on June 6, 1944?
We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!
What was the turning point of world war 2?
Battle of the bulge, sir!
What's is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought I don't know, sir!
The superior then said Well, I'll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.

I got a prostate exam...

And the doctor told me its normal to get an e**....
So I just ignored his bulge.

On my first day of work as a zoo keeper I noticed one of my male coworkers had a bulge in his pants. I asked him...

"Is that a small monkey in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
He said "Yeah, it's Macaque"

So a guy decides to walk to the bar by strolling across an adjacent golf course.

So a guy decides to walk to the bar by strolling across an adjacent golf course. As he walks he picks up stray b**... and stuffs them in his pants pocket. Later, seated at the bar he notices the lady next to him staring at the huge bulge in his pants. "Golf b**...," he explains. "You poor man," the lady exclaims. "And here I thought my tennis elbow was bad."

I go to the Jim every morning

Are you thin? Are you overweight? Are you fighting the battle of the bulge? Do you have a sedentary lifestyle? Are you plain lazy? Do you have someone or the other always telling you to go to the gym?
Here's something for you...
"Instead of calling my bathroom the John, I call it the Jim.
That way it sounds a lot better when I tell people I go to the Jim first thing every morning :-)"

Two guys are chatting at the gym, and the first guy says to the second "what's that bulge in your pants?"

The second guy replies: "Tennis ball."
The first guy thinks about it for a second and says, "ouch. I had tennis elbow once."

A man is jogging along the road when he find an absolutely pristine tennis ball on the ground.

It doesn't seem to belong to anyone. So he picks it up and puts it in his pocket.
While waiting at a cross walk another man notices the bulge and asks "What is that?"
"A tennis ball" he replies.
"Oh, that must hurt a lot! I once had a Tennis Elbow"

Got a Tinder match.

Our first meet up, we were standing there when she leaned closer and whispered, I see that bulge in your jeans. If you pull that out, maybe we'll BOTH have a nice evening.
So, I pulled out my wallet and paid for both movie tickets.

An old man dies...

...and at the f**..., his family members walk to the casket to say their final respects. When they're done, the old mans son notices a bulge in his fathers pants. When he goes to ask the f**... director about it, the director says "Oh, don't worry about that, it's just mourning wood"

2 Guys walk out of the gym together.

The first guy has a big bulge near his pocket. The second guy points at and and asks what it is.
"Tennis ball."
The second guy makes a face like he's thinking, and then says "Well I had tennis elbow once..."

Bulge joke, 2 Guys walk out of the gym together.