Bulbs Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Bulbs puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Bulbs

I walk into a hardware store..

"Any two-watt bulbs?"

"For what?"

"That'll do. I'll take two."

"Two what?"

"I thought you didn't have any. "

"Any what?"

"Yes please."

A burglar stole all the light bulbs in my house

I know I should be more upset, but I'm absolutely delighted!

I like my women how I like my light bulbs...

Not too bright, easy to turn on and hanging from electrical wire in my basement.

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. German light bulbs are quality products.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a man?

Just one, if you put it in the right place.

How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.

How many hobos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dumpsters

A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier...

Got any 2 watt bulbs?

For what?

That'll do I'll take two.

Two what?

I thought you didn't have any.

Any what?

Ok then!

2.000 light bulbs stolen

Investigators still in the dark

How many Unidans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Six: one to screw it in and five to cheer him on loudly while standing in front of other people's bulbs so no one can see them.

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change bulbs and 3 to sit around and complain that the original was better.

Just went to the store and bought a pack of energy saving light bulbs...

As the woman scanned them, she asked, "Will you be putting these up yourself, sir?"

"'Erm, no." I replied. "What kind of sicko do you think I am?"

How many teachers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, it's not on the state standardized test and light bulbs aren't in the budget.

What did socialists use before candles?

Light bulbs.

How many nice guys does it take to replace a light bulb?

Nice guys don't replace light bulbs: they'll just stand around complimenting it, hoping to get it screwed.

How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs.

My dad eats lightbulbs

One day these three little boys were bragging about their dads. The first little boy said, "my daddy can lift 100lbs. over his head." The second little boy said, "thats nothing my daddy can lift 200lbs. over his head." The third little boy said, "Thats nothing my daddy can eat light bulbs!" The other two little boys were like really hows that? the boy said, "Yeah i heard my daddy tell my mommy in the bed room the other night you turn that light off and I'll eat that thang!

A teacher asks her students to tell her an interesting hobby or skill that their dad can do...

Little Mary raises her hand and says, My dad can build a ship inside of a bottle!

That's really interesting Mary, says the teacher. How about you Billy, what can your dad do?

Billy replies, My dad can carve any animal out of wood!

That's an amazing skill Billy, replied the teacher. How about little Johnny? What can your dad do?

My dad eats light bulbs ! said little Johnny

Eats light bulbs? Can you explain what you mean? asked the teacher.

Well, I was in bed last night and I heard my dad say to my mom, if you turn the light out I'll eat it.

How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but you need three light bulbs.

How many DIY-ers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but about a dozen light bulbs.

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?

One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs

My dad is eating our light bulbs...

Every night he tells my mom "turn the light off so i can eat it"

How many babies does it take to change a Light bulbs?

Well obviously more than 8, my basement is still dark

Light bulb thief

I came across an open package of light bulbs at work today.

I thought to myself, "Stealing lightbulbs? This guy must be in a really dark place".

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't change light bulbs, they accept them the way they are.

What happened to the guy who had all his light bulbs stolen?

He was delighted.

I'm so down on my luck right now, that I can't even afford to change out light bulbs when they burn out...

Things don't look so bright

They changed the power of my favourite light bulbs

And they're just not watt they used to be

How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. There are no light bulbs in the closet.



Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? Because there's no light inside the closet

How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?

None – its a pseudo-problem… light bulbs give off light (hence the name). If the bulb was broken and wasn't giving off light, it wouldn't be a 'light bulb' now would it? And if it wasn't broken, then why does it need changing?

How many light bulbs do you need to light up a room full of milennials?

None. They're already lit.

In the city, a guy was caught taking out all the red bulbs in traffic lights after months of going unseen

He wasn't sure what led to his capture, since he was pulling out all the stops to not get caught.

How many cooks does it take to change a light bulb?

Fuck-it. 86 light bulbs!

How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.

How many IT guys does it take to change a light bulb?

No IT guys change light bulbs, they just keep flicking the switch on and off again until something happens.

[OC] How are guys like light bulbs?

They're both out immediately after being blown.

How many porn-stars can screw in light bulbs?

None. Porn-stars cant fit in light bulbs.

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

Why can't Asian drivers unscrew light bulbs?

they can never decide which way to turn.

Light robbery

A man came home completely delighted when he realised someone had stole the light bulbs

At first, I was skeptical about replacing my florescent bulbs with newer LED ones...

But once I did, I started seeing things in new light.

What did the communist use to light their home before candles?

light bulbs

How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde?

About 4 and some decent photo editing software.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. German light bulbs don't break.

How many Russians with inexplicable fetishes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

When you are Russian with inexplicable fetishes, you screw light bulbs!

A man walks into a bar

The bartender says " What would you like son?"
The man jumps up on the counter and starts unscrewing the bulbs from the fixtures.
Bartender looks quizzically at man. Man says "Amstel light"

How many light bulbs does North Korea Have?

One.
What's it called?
The Sun.

Why do light bulbs burn out with frequency?

Because it hertz.

How many FBI agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Maybe if they weren't so busy changing light bulbs, there wouldn't be so many school shootings.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes