Bulb Jokes
148 bulb jokes and hilarious bulb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bulb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you in the dark when it comes to finding bulb jokes? Look no further! We've rounded up the best light bulb jokes about changing bulbs, bad bulbs, headlights and more for a good dose of illumination. Get ready to brighten up your day with these hilarious bulb jokes!
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Funniest Bulb Short Jokes
Short bulb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bulb humour may include short lamp jokes also.
- How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They're happy living in the dark
- How many D&D players does it take to change a light bulb? All of them. Never split the party.
- How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb? Find out next time, on dragon Ball Z!
- How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light has to really want to change.
Give me your best lightbulb joke. - I walk into a hardware store.. "Any two-watt bulbs?"
"For what?"
"That'll do. I'll take two."
"Two what?"
"I thought you didn't have any. "
"Any what?"
"Yes please." - How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb? We may never know the truth.
- How many ladybugs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.
- How many nihilists does it take to change a light bulb? It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
- How many ska musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to drop the bulb and two to yell "pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!!!"
- How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But the light bulb has to want to change.
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Bulb One Liners
Which bulb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bulb? I can suggest the ones about bulge and candle.
- How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb? Why must it be a group activity?
- How many optometrist does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?
- how many alziemers patients does it take to change a light bulb? to get to the other side
- How did communists light their homes before candle? with light bulbs
- How many excel users does it take to screw in a light bulb? Monday January 01, 1900
- How many Congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Better buy a flashlight - How many minimalists does it take to change a light bulb? One
- How many bros does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light.
- How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb? Do you have a ticket for that?
- How many mods does it take to screw in a light bulb? \[removed\]
- Two. How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?
- How many adhd kids does it take to change a light bulb? LETS GO RIDE BIKES
- One How many time travellers does it take to change a light bulb?
- How many programmers do you need to fix a light bulb? None, it is a hardware issue!
- How many guys wearing turbans does it take to change a light bulb? Sikhs.
How Many Light Bulb Jokes
Here is a list of funny how many light bulb jokes and even better how many light bulb puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Depends. Sometimes it takes one. Sometimes it takes a Zildjian.
- How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb? 1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was
- How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark
- How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb? Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...
- How many professors does it take to change a light bulb? None. Thats what grad students are for
- How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. It *has* to be seven.
- How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? None. German light bulbs are quality products.
- How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it.
- How many light bulbs does it take to change a man? Just one, if you put it in the right place.
- How many abducted women does it take to change a light bulb? Five is apparently not enough because my basement is still dark.
Light Bulb Jokes
Here is a list of funny light bulb jokes and even better light bulb puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb? 5 days. & I'm pretty proud of myself.
- How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb? Two. The light bulb you remove and the light bulb you replace it with.
- How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet. - How does a 49er fan change a light bulb? He doesn't he just talks about how great it use to be
- Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb? Many hands make light work.
- How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb? Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, "Pssh, I can do that."
- How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb? None. They like it on the dark side.
- How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know.
(Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage) - How many clickbait articles does it take to change a light bulb? The answer will shock you
Change Light Bulb Jokes
Here is a list of funny change light bulb jokes and even better change light bulb puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....
- How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb? Five… six… seven… eight!
- How does Trump change a light bulb? He holds the bulb in the socket and waits for the universe to revolve around him.
- How many Apples does it take to change a light bulb? Two
One to change the bulb
The other to sell the iBulb for $600 and claim it's "revolutionary" - How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But it takes about 8-10 visits.
- How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb? None: the light bulb must find $80,000 to become clear, then it will have the self-determination to change itself.
- How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change it, one to take pictures and four to make t-shirts for the event.
- Q: how many cops does it take to change a light bulb? A: none. They just shoot the room for being too dark.
- How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a light bulb? Four - one to change it, and the rest to complain because it's electric.
- How many dead babies do you need to change a light bulb? Well, apparently not 11, my flat is still dark.
Changing Light Bulb Jokes
Here is a list of funny changing light bulb jokes and even better changing light bulb puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? One...Ok, just one more...Maybe a third to be social...May as well make it a few more now, I've missed the last bus...
- How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
- How many ChatGPTs does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's already bright enough.
- How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 9 cause my basement's still dark.
- How many Dell Service Reps does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, I am on hold.
- How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb? A: More guns.
- How does Karen change a light bulb? She puts it in and waits for the world to revolve around her
- How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's already enlightened.
- How does an accordion player change a light bulb? They just press a button and pull the bellows.
- How many dads does it take to change a light bulb? Asking because it's been a week and mine still hasn't.
Fun-Filled Bulb Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about bulb you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean light switch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bulb pranks.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Brexiteers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to promise a brighter future and the rest to screw it up.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many PETA memebers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. PETA can't change anything.
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SRS bait.
How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many women with p**... does it take to change a light bulb?
Six.
Why?
IT JUST DOES, OK!?!?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
That's not funny
How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Monkeys screw in trees.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two.
One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the p**.....*ER..LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!*
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?
Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As a feminist who's fairly critical of her own movement, this made me laugh:
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That's not funny.
Need a Break!
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office....
When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?"
He replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many dyslexics does it change to take a light bulb?
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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
The fact that you think that it's not society, but the light bulb that should change is problematic.
How many NSA agents does it take to change a light bulb?
I've just been informed that the NSA no longer has the capability to change a light bulb, but if we give them access to everyone's email and cell phone communications they will hopefully intercept a message that will crack this lightbulb case wide open.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?
You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist s**.... Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.
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How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
Did you hear about the feminist light bulb?
It empowers itself
How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
*One to hold the bulb up to the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them, three to scream at the circuit breaker and belittle it for controlling power, and eight others to console the first four while they tweet about how problematic this traumatic experience has been for everyone.*
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How many dead h**...'s in your basement does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 4
Two factory workers are talking.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanna go for a bike ride?
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How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. They just hold the bulb in place and the world revolves around them.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many angry people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they tell it to screw itself.
How many gynecologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I'm asking because mine had to call like six other guys in to help him, and I'm really starting to wonder why I needed one installed down there in the first place.
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How many grammar n**... does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Too
Guy A calls guy B
Guy A tells guy B, "I bet you I can get us the day off at work tommorow," so Guy A tells him that plan.l
The next day guy A goes to work and goes on the roof
The boss walks in and asks him what he's doing, guy A says "I'm a light bulb!"
The boss tells him that he's been working too hard and has gone crazy and tells him to go home
Guy B follows guy A out but the boss stops and says, "what are you doing?"
Guy B says, "I can't work in the dark!"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many introverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Why does everything have to be a group activity?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many cops does it need to change a broken light bulb?
No idea, but they beat up the room for being black and the bulb for being broke
How many U.S. Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
Forty-five. A couple dozen to turn it to the right, a score of them to turn it to the left, and one to really, really screw it at the end.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. We are efficient, but not very funny.
What not to put in one's mouth
One day, the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.
Little Johnny says, It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth.
The teacher says, That is correct, but why?
Little Johnny answers, I don't know, but my mom always tells my dad, 'Turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!'
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Light bulb
p**... and John are working on a building site. p**... says to John, I need a day off, I'm going to pretend I've gone mad!
p**... climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, I'm a light bulb! I'm a light bulb! While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, p**... go home, you've gone mad!
As p**... packs his kit, the foreman sees John packing his kit as well.
Foreman says, John where do you think you're going?!
John says, Well I'm not working in the friggen dark!
What did the Bulbasaur say when he found out his wife was cheating on him?
Bulbasaur
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many cannibals does it take to screw in one light bulb?
I have no clue but you really shouldn't be in the dark with cannibals.
A man and a woman are talking in the office.
The man says: "I'm so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off."
The woman replies: "Don't worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch me."
The woman proceeds to hang from a pipe.
Suddenly, the boss walks in a says: "What in the world are you doing?"
The woman replies: "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says: "You must've gone crazy from all that working, you can take the day off."
The woman leaves. The man follows.
The boss asks the man: "Where are you going?"
The man then replies: "I'm going home. I can't work in the dark."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
CHANGE???
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How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two.
One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
THAT IS NOT FUNNY!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?
Narcissists don't use light bulbs. They use gaslighting.
How many reposters does it take to change a lightbulb?
It's hard to tell because they just keep putting the same bulb in over and over.
How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in the world's heaviest light bulb?
Just one, it's light work.
