Built Jokes
128 built jokes and hilarious built puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about built that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will explore the humorous side of body building and show you how to construct jokes that rely on your physical built being different from the norm. Learn about the edifice of constructing a joke, and discover why building jokes can be quite entertaining.
Quick Jump To
- Short Built Jokes
- Built One Liners
- Your Built Jokes
- Body Built Jokes
- Built Different Jokes
- More Built Jokes
Funniest Built Short Jokes
Short built jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The built humour may include short building jokes also.
- It's a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore.... Just bought a T.V. and it said, "Built in Antenna".
I don't even know where that is!! - America sure is having some bad luck It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
- America is going through such bad luck at the moment It's as if the whole country were built on haunted Indian burial grounds...
- The US is having so many disasters and tragedies Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.
- After making love to my wife last night, she told me I had a body built for sin 12 hours later, I still can't figure out if she meant Gluttony or Sloth
- Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.
- As an American, it makes me so sad to see that nothing is made in the USA anymore. I just bought this new TV and it says Built-in Antenna. I don't even know where that is.
- I told my mate I'd built a model of the Himalayas. He said "To scale?"
I said "No, just to look at" - With all the bad things happenning in america right now, you woulda thought the whole thing was built on some Indian burial ground.
- Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.
Share These Built Jokes With Friends
Built One Liners
Which built one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with built? I can suggest the ones about construction and builder.
- I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. It's a pretty good µ-boat.
- science built skyscrapers and airplanes But only religion can bring the two together.
- I built an electric fence around my property yesterday… My neighbor is dead against it…
- Arthur: "That's a nice round table. Who built that?" Knight: "Sir Cumference"
- Who was King Arthur's knight who built the round table? Sir Cumfrence
- All neighborhoods are predominantly Mexican. Until they're done being built.
- My grandpa said he was built upside down He said his nose runs and his feet smell.
- If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...? Stereotyping.
- The titanic was built to last...... let that sink in.
- What was built after the Indian sandwich maker's shop burned down? A New Delhi
- Some inmates were complaining about the prison they're in The walls aren't built to scale
- Why is America cursed It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground
- Who built King Arthurs round table? SIRcumference
- Where are average things built? In a satisfactory
- I once read a book on how the Titanic was built It was riveting
Your Built Jokes
Here is a list of funny your built jokes and even better your built puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work. China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
- My Grandfather built me a car entirely out of wood It had wooden seats, wooden doors, wooden steering wheel, wooden floors and a wooden engine. Unfortunately when I tried to start it, it wooden work.
- America has been having a lot of bad luck lately It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground
- It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means... Jesus was a repost.
- With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
- The government just built an underground prison. They call it Concave. It's full of convex.
- I built a staircase using an online tutorial! When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step.
- With all these natural disasters happening, Its almost as if the USA was built over thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
- So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
- Bilbo was surprised to wake one morning, and find that a Tesco had been built right next to his house It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area
Body Built Jokes
Here is a list of funny body built jokes and even better body built puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They say I have a body built for Sin That sin being Sloth.
- Did you hear about the arabian body builder who built a business empire? They called him the protein sheikh
- My body is built like a temple There are many hollow passageways where things enter and leave
- Today I built a body building snow man... He was well built.
I'll show my self out
Built Different Jokes
Here is a list of funny built different jokes and even better built different puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- what is the difference between Narendra Modi and Donald Trump? Modi actually built the statue!
(Technically not a joke) - The word 'mortar' has 2 different meanings. As I discovered today when the house I built blew up.
- What's the difference between Coors Light and u**...? Kevin Costner built a machine that makes u**... drinkable.
Built Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about built you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean assemble jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make built pranks.
Do you know why, all around the world, parlaments' roof are built as a dome?
Have you ever seen a circus with a flat roof?
A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.
he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented s**...." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."
There once was a man who made dead houses.
There once was a man who made dead houses; Stored them under his home with the bugs and the mouses; The coffins he made were of rich sleek wood; He built them as big, yet as fast as he could; For his caskets were haunted and were said to walk; one night he went to his basement, and one started to rock; It moved towards him, his insides began to soften; So he pulled out some Halls, cause Halls stops the coffin.
Three Men Brag About Their Sons.
Three men are in a bar. They are talking about how great their sons are to their respective girlfriends. The first man says my son is an amazing pilot. He gave his girlfriend a plane as a gift he is the best. The second man says well my son happens to be a great carpenter he actually built his girlfriend a three story house. The final man says my son is gay but his boyfriend must really like him, he got a plane and a three story house from him.
2 Irishmen, 2 Scotsmen, and 2 Englishmen
There were 2 Irishmen, 2 Scotsmen, and 2 Englishmen stuck on a deserted island. In one year, the two Irishmen made a still and was brewing beer, the two Scotsmen built a pub and were selling it. The two Englishmen still weren't talking to each other because they weren't properly introduced.
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job...
...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."
Someone told me recently that the healthcare.gov website was built by a Canadian company.
I guess that explains why the site is constantly freezing.
If the NSA built the website for healthcare...
Americans would have been signed up before they knew it...
If your nose runs and your feet smell.....
You're built upside-down.
A Greek and a Roman are arguing about who has the superior culture.
The Greek says "We built the Parthenon". The Roman says "Ah, but we built the Colosseum". The Greek responds "We invented democracy" and the Roman says "Yes, but we founded the great Roman Empire". Finally, the Greek says "We invented s**...". The Roman replies "That's true, but we're the ones who thought of having it with women."
So we all know about Gandhi right?
Well Gandhi as well know was a very important person who in recent times has taken on a mystic quality to some. He often fasted for long periods of time making him rather weak and fragile, he went barefoot for long periods of time and so it's fair to assume he built up lots and lots of callouses and he was reported at one point to have very bad breath because of a gum disease. This all means he was a...
Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis
If smiling is contagious...
...then Russian Women must have a vaccine or built an immunity or something.
Today's joke from Russian-language Internet
"You know, they've built a George Orwell memorial in Russia!"
'What? Where?"
"Pretty much everywhere."
3 blonde girls is at the side of a river
And they're trying to get to the village on the other side
1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river
the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft and paddle across
The last girl ask god to make her smarter than the other two girls,so god make her a man and he uses the bridge
A group of engineering proffesors got in a plane...
Before closing the doors, the flight attendants told them that the plane had been built by their own students. Scared, all of the teachers ran out of the plane, except one. The pilot came to him and asked him why he was so relaxed. The proffesor said "I know my students very well. And I'm sure that if this plane is really built by them, the thing won't even start!"
A man and his wife built a boat...
They called it the *Alfred1*, after a friend of theirs. However, it was poorly constructed and sank immediately.
They continued to try to build seaworthy vessels, but the same thing happened over and over. With the *Brian2*, the *Chris3*, and the *Daniel4*.
"We're really not very good at this," the man said in disgust. "How do boats even work?"
"I don't know, but we'll figure it out," replied his wife. "We need an *ELI5*."
A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...
and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."
"I want a dragon."
"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"
"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."
"...what color dragon do you want?"
A programming genius named Sewter
Built a limerick-writing computer
The metre was fine
And the rhymes quite divine
But for some reason it always got the last line wrong
An American and a Mexican are sitting at the beach when a genie offers both of them one wish.
The American says:
"I'd like a 5-mile-high wall around the US so that no foreigners or i**... Chinese goods can enter without our government's permission." And voilá the wall is built.
The genie then asks the Mexican what he wants:
"Fill it with lava."
Not everything donald trump says is s**....
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
TIL that back in the 1940s, as a result of failed communications between engineers and builders, the Soviet Union built thousands of submarines based on recalled 1850s schematics, resulting in millions of dollars in military funding being wasted.
Whoops, wrong sub.
Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault.
No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.
Programming takes time. Just remember...
Chrome wasn't built in a day
As a new yorker i was excited about a wall that keeps foreigners from taking our jobs
Then I learned the wall wasn't being built around New Jersey.
My wife has been keeping secrets from me.
I just built a fence and put down some paving. Turns out not only is she a master carpenter she's also an expert brick layer. If only I had known earlier I could have sought her advice before I did the work. It would have saved me from making all the obvious mistakes she pointed out after the work was done.
So, there are two men.
They know each other for years now. Frank, a brain surgeon from new york and Ahmad a former r**... from syria.
Both men want to build an house and decide to build their houses in the very same street, next to each other. They even ask the architect to just copy the first house!
And when the houses are built Ahmad says to Frank: "My house is worth more than yours."
"How can that be? We both live next to each other!"
"Yes"
"Our houses were built identically, with the same materials."
"True."
"So how can it be, Ahmad?"
"Very simple: I live next to a brain surgeon and you live next to a r**...!"
What did Tyrion call the passage he built to smuggle w**... into Casterly Rock?
h**...-door.
My boss came over today to tell me how I built my house wrong.
I'm not good with taking constructive criticism.
So there was a tribal chief who decided he needed the biggest hut in the village...
so he gathered the grass he needed and built the only two story hut in the village. He placed his throne on the second story and held audiences there. One night while he slept the throne fell through the floor and crushed his head. The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?
The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious b**....
Louis C.K. is the hardest working comedian in the business
He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.
All I'm saying is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago
...and they still don't have any i**... Mexicans.
I don't know why everyone thinks the wall won't work.
China built one over 2000 years ago and they STILL don't have any Mexicans.
A Christian man ends up on a deserted island...
He is stranded there for a few years until a rescue boat finds him. When the rescuers get onto the island, they are amazed to see what the man has built to survive. The man had built three different structures out of bamboo and leaves. They asked the man what the first structure was. The man said, That's my house. They then asked about the second structure. That's where I go to Church. The man replied. Then they asked about the third structure. A scowl came over the mans face as he told the rescuers, That's where I used to go to Church.
A guy walks into a bike store with his overweight wife
He tells the clerk, I'd like a bicycle built for two, and one for me.
Do you know what Elon Musk could've called his submarines if they were built in time to save those children?
Thai Pods.
A man walks into his doctor's office and says: My nose just keeps on running,
But that's not even the worst part about me either, doc. My feet smell an awful lot! Surely you must have a remedy for both.
The doctor replies: Well I'm sorry to tell you there's nothing I can do. It doesn't seem like you need a medical professional, but rather a bio-mechanical engineer!
After a confused look from the man the doctor explains: You've been built upside down.
Did you hear about the house the l**... built?
It was all tongue and groove, and not a stud in sight.
I remember when I was a little boy, an old man suddenly stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.
So I've spent all my life working on a time machine, and now that I've built it, I'm going back in time to when he was a little boy, and I'm going to punch him and see how he likes it!
If we did build a wall, it definitely would work
China built a wall, do you see any Mexicans there?
You know what, I'm starting to think the wall might be a good idea.
I mean, China built one and I don't see any Mexicans over there.
An Irishman and an Englishman find a lamp
Upon rubbing it a genie pops out and says For freeing me, I will grant you each one wish!"
The Englishman says "I love my country, but it's being ruined by foreigners. I wish a wall to be built around it so that no one else can get in."
The genie says, "Done. And you, Irishman?"
The Irishman looks thoughtful for a moment and says, "Tell me more about this wall."
The genie responds, "It is twenty miles tall, a hundred feet thick and made of granite. Nothing can get in or out."
The Irishman says, "Fill it with water."
The Greatest s**... Culture . . .
A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.
Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."
The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented s**...!"
The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."
Darth Vader built an entire Galactic Empire...
Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.
But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.
So an electrical engineer built a house entirely out of resistors.
The welcome mat said Ohm Sweet Ohm.
A man is doing a crossword and asks his wife for help.
Husband: Body of water, three letters.
Wife: Bay.
Husband: Flying insect with stinger, three letters.
Wife: Bee.
Husband: To hush someone, four letters.
Wife: shhh.
Husband: Boat Noah built, three letters.
Wife: Ark.
Husband: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
A man lost at sea is found on an island 20 years later.
The sailors that find him are surprised to see three large buildings on the island. They ask the man why he built the buildings. "This first building is my house" he says. "I was able to set up a crude aqueduct to create some form of indoor plumbing". The sailors are impressed and ask about the second building. "This second building is my church" he says "I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me". The sailors nod in understanding and ask about the third building. "Oh, that one" the man says. "That's the church I USED to go to".
So many items are no longer made in America..
I just bought a new tv and the box said built in antenna ...
I don't even know where that is!
My husband commented on the new store that is being built nearby: That's a nice looking Aldi!
I told him it just looks like Aldi others.
...
Sorry y'all. It's been such a bad day, and this little exchange my hubby and I had earlier had us both laughing probably more than we should have. Hope it makes one of you out there smile too.
I watched a documentary on how they built the hull of the Titanic last night....
It was riveting.
Nothing is built in the USA anymore...
Just bought a new TV...says "Built in Antennae"
h**..., I dont even know where that is....
Did you hear about the house the l**... built?
Not a stud in the place, it's all tongue 'n' groove
If Germans are so efficient and productive, why hasn't Germany built an unsinkable ship yet?
Because why would we waste our time building a ship if nobody has ever sought of it yet?
