Following is our collection of funny Built jokes. There are some built build jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these built razed puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Have you ever seen a circus with a flat roof?
he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."
There once was a man who made dead houses; Stored them under his home with the bugs and the mouses; The coffins he made were of rich sleek wood; He built them as big, yet as fast as he could; For his caskets were haunted and were said to walk; one night he went to his basement, and one started to rock; It moved towards him, his insides began to soften; So he pulled out some Halls, cause Halls stops the coffin.
There were 2 Irishmen, 2 Scotsmen, and 2 Englishmen stuck on a deserted island. In one year, the two Irishmen made a still and was brewing beer, the two Scotsmen built a pub and were selling it. The two Englishmen still weren't talking to each other because they weren't properly introduced.
...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."
Americans would have been signed up before they knew it...
SIRcumference
Sir Cumfrence
A New Delhi
...then Russian Women must have a vaccine or built an immunity or something.
Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds.
You can explore built construction reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean built builder dad jokes. There are also built puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
"You know, they've built a George Orwell memorial in Russia!"
'What? Where?"
"Pretty much everywhere."
In a satisfactory
When I finished I thought something looked wrong so I went back to look at the instructions. I missed a step.
And they're trying to get to the village on the other side
1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river
the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft and paddle across
The last girl ask god to make her smarter than the other two girls,so god make her a man and he uses the bridge
Before closing the doors, the flight attendants told them that the plane had been built by their own students. Scared, all of the teachers ran out of the plane, except one. The pilot came to him and asked him why he was so relaxed. The proffesor said "I know my students very well. And I'm sure that if this plane is really built by them, the thing won't even start!"
The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.
They called it the *Alfred1*, after a friend of theirs. However, it was poorly constructed and sank immediately.
They continued to try to build seaworthy vessels, but the same thing happened over and over. With the *Brian2*, the *Chris3*, and the *Daniel4*.
"We're really not very good at this," the man said in disgust. "How do boats even work?"
"I don't know, but we'll figure it out," replied his wife. "We need an *ELI5*."
and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."
"I want a dragon."
"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"
"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."
"...what color dragon do you want?"
The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.
It's full of convex.
You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Built a limerick-writing computer
The metre was fine
And the rhymes quite divine
But for some reason it always got the last line wrong
It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Jesus was a repost.
The American says:
"I'd like a 5-mile-high wall around the US so that no foreigners or illegal Chinese goods can enter without our government's permission." And voilΓ‘ the wall is built.
The genie then asks the Mexican what he wants:
"Fill it with lava."
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
Whoops, wrong sub.
Then I learned the wall wasn't being built around New Jersey.
It was an unexpected item in the Baggins area
I just built a fence and put down some paving. Turns out not only is she a master carpenter she's also an expert brick layer. If only I had known earlier I could have sought her advice before I did the work. It would have saved me from making all the obvious mistakes she pointed out after the work was done.
My neighbor is dead against itβ¦
They know each other for years now. Frank, a brain surgeon from new york and Ahmad a former refugee from syria.
Both men want to build an house and decide to build their houses in the very same street, next to each other. They even ask the architect to just copy the first house!
And when the houses are built Ahmad says to Frank: "My house is worth more than yours."
"How can that be? We both live next to each other!"
"Yes"
"Our houses were built identically, with the same materials."
"True."
"So how can it be, Ahmad?"
"Very simple: I live next to a brain surgeon and you live next to a refugee!"
let that sink in.
Until they're done being built.
Hoe-door.
Its almost as if the USA was built over thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.
But only religion can bring the two together.
I'm not good with taking constructive criticism.
so he gathered the grass he needed and built the only two story hut in the village. He placed his throne on the second story and held audiences there. One night while he slept the throne fell through the floor and crushed his head. The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
Knight: "Sir Cumference"
It's as if the whole country were built on haunted Indian burial grounds...
The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious Basterds.
He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.
...and they still don't have any illegal Mexicans.
China built one over 2000 years ago and they STILL don't have any Mexicans.
He is stranded there for a few years until a rescue boat finds him. When the rescuers get onto the island, they are amazed to see what the man has built to survive. The man had built three different structures out of bamboo and leaves. They asked the man what the first structure was. The man said, That's my house. They then asked about the second structure. That's where I go to Church. The man replied. Then they asked about the third structure. A scowl came over the mans face as he told the rescuers, That's where I used to go to Church.
The walls aren't built to scale
He tells the clerk, I'd like a bicycle built for two, and one for me.
Thai Pods.
But that's not even the worst part about me either, doc. My feet smell an awful lot! Surely you must have a remedy for both.
The doctor replies: Well I'm sorry to tell you there's nothing I can do. It doesn't seem like you need a medical professional, but rather a bio-mechanical engineer!
After a confused look from the man the doctor explains: You've been built upside down.
It's a pretty good Β΅-boat.
It was all tongue and groove, and not a stud in sight.
He said his nose runs and his feet smell.
So I've spent all my life working on a time machine, and now that I've built it, I'm going back in time to when he was a little boy, and I'm going to punch him and see how he likes it!
China built a wall, do you see any Mexicans there?
I mean, China built one and I don't see any Mexicans over there.
Upon rubbing it a genie pops out and says For freeing me, I will grant you each one wish!"
The Englishman says "I love my country, but it's being ruined by foreigners. I wish a wall to be built around it so that no one else can get in."
The genie says, "Done. And you, Irishman?"
The Irishman looks thoughtful for a moment and says, "Tell me more about this wall."
The genie responds, "It is twenty miles tall, a hundred feet thick and made of granite. Nothing can get in or out."
The Irishman says, "Fill it with water."
A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.
Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."
The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."
you woulda thought the whole thing was built on some Indian burial ground.
Wearing protective gear in sanitary environment.
But it was all destroyed by a whiny brat without a mask who refused to stay home with his aunt and uncle.
Just bought a T.V. and it said, "Built in Antenna".
I don't even know where that is!!
Husband: Body of water, three letters.
Wife: Bay.
Husband: Flying insect with stinger, three letters.
Wife: Bee.
Husband: To hush someone, four letters.
Wife: shhh.
Husband: Boat Noah built, three letters.
Wife: Ark.
Husband: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
The sailors that find him are surprised to see three large buildings on the island. They ask the man why he built the buildings. "This first building is my house" he says. "I was able to set up a crude aqueduct to create some form of indoor plumbing". The sailors are impressed and ask about the second building. "This second building is my church" he says "I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me". The sailors nod in understanding and ask about the third building. "Oh, that one" the man says. "That's the church I USED to go to".
I just bought a new tv and the box said built in antenna ...
I don't even know where that is!
I told him it just looks like Aldi others.
...
Sorry y'all. It's been such a bad day, and this little exchange my hubby and I had earlier had us both laughing probably more than we should have. Hope it makes one of you out there smile too.
It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground
It was riveting.
Just bought a new TV...says "Built in Antennae"
Hell, I dont even know where that is....
Not a stud in the place, it's all tongue 'n' groove
Because why would we waste our time building a ship if nobody has ever sought of it yet?
My new TV says "Built In Antenna," and I don't even know where the hell that is!!!
I said to him "Can I have a go?" and he said "Yeah, but it'll cost you a dollar"
I thought: what a cheap skate.
It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground
I just bought a TV, and it wrote "Built in Antenna" on the box.
It was stationery.
But I'll be darned if those Romaines didn't give it their best.
They built this city on Rocky Road
He said "To scale?"
I said "No, just to look at"
He said to himself, "This thing's built like a tank."
now I'm homeless
Damn son!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the built made jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working built piled piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.