Building Site Jokes
20 building site jokes and hilarious building site puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about building site that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Building Site Short Jokes
Short building site jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The building site humour may include short construction site jokes also.
- A man walks into a bar. He goes "I really shouldn't be walking through a building site" and leaves.
- I worked with a guy on a building site... I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.
- To commemorate the disaster in Mecca where a crane fell and crushed pilgrims, Saudi Arabia will build a restaurant at the site. An IHOP: International House of Pancakes.
- I forgot my hard hat when I went to the building site... Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks.
- Why is Donald Trump so intent on building a wall with Mexico? To stop the workers at his construction site from running back!
- I work on a construction site, and we're building a new apartment block. The ground floor has turned out pretty good. But the first floor? That's a whole other storey.
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Playful Building Site Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about building site you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean construction worker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make building site pranks.
I bet you $20 that you won't be able to push the same thing back in my wheelbarrow.
Two workers - one big and strong, the other small and weak - are on a building site.
The small chap says "I bet you $20 that I can push something to the end of the yard in my wheelbarrow and you won't be able to push the same thing back."
"You're on," says the big guy.
"Righto," says the small fellow, "Jump in."
Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses
He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you c**...''
Light bulb
p**... and John are working on a building site. p**... says to John, I need a day off, I'm going to pretend I've gone mad!
p**... climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, I'm a light bulb! I'm a light bulb! While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, p**... go home, you've gone mad!
As p**... packs his kit, the foreman sees John packing his kit as well.
Foreman says, John where do you think you're going?!
John says, Well I'm not working in the friggen dark!
An Irishman goes for a labouring job on a building site
The foreman thinks to himself "I'll catch this thick p**... out" and asks the Irishman "what's the difference between a joist and a girder?"
The Irishman thinks for a second and replies "well, you see sir, Joyce wrote Ulysses while Goethe wrote Faust".
\>note, this works best as an o**... joke as u may have gathered.
p**... & Murphy are working on a building site.
p**... and Murphy are working on a building site.
p**... says to Murphy, I'm gonna get the day off. I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down, and shouts, I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb!
Murphy watches in amazement.
The foreman shouts: p**..., go home. You've gone mad.
So p**... leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
Where do you think you're going? asks the foreman.
Well, I can't work in the friggin dark! said Murphy.
My none-too-bright mate had an accident on a building site when a slate fell off the roof and sliced his ear off…
Here it is said one of the lads working with him holding up what looked like a b**... walkers ridge crisp.
My mate shook his head No, that's not it, mine had a pencil tucked behind it
an Irish man was working on a building site...
...the foreman asked him to fetch a wheel barrow. A while later the Irish man returned with a wheel barrow in a wheel barrow.
The foreman said "I asked for a barrow why have you fetched two"
The Irish man replied "I needed something to carry it back in"
Two Irishmen have a bright idea...
p**... and Murphy are working on a building site. p**... says to Murphy,
"I'm gonna get the day off. I'm gonna pretend I've gone mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'm a lightbulb, I'm a lightbulb!"
Murphy watches in amazement.
The foreman shouts: "p**..., go home. You've gone mad."
So p**... leaves the site. Murphy starts packing is kit up to leave as well.
"Where do you think you're going?" asks the foreman.
"Well, I can't work in the friggin dark!" said Murphy.
Man dies on a building site
The other builders gather around and discuss who should be the one to go and break it John's (dead guy) wife.
One volunteers, saying he is "good with this sensitive stuff".
A short while later he returns with 2 crates of beer.
"Where'd you get them", asks one of the builders.
"John's wife gave me them".
"You what, you go around there and tell her John's dead and she gives you beer?"
"Not exactly, I knocked the door and when she answered I said ' Hi, you must be John's widow'. 'No I am not' she told me, and I said, "I'll bet you a couple crates of beer you are".
Strong Man Contest
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength.
He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of ranting, the older worker had had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is and challenge me to a strength competition," he said. "I will bet an entire week's pay that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man. Let's see what you got," the young boaster replied.
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said,
"All right, hop in."
Englishman, Irishman and a Chinese man working on a building site...
The foreman says to the Englishman "I need you to dig the foundations"
He says to the Irishman "You're going to be mixing the concrete"
And to the Chinese man "You're in charge of the supplies so the other two can do their jobs"
The foreman returns an hour later to find that no work has be done and the Chinese man is missing.
"My shovel never arrived" Says the Englishman, sipping a cup of tea.
"I've got no concrete" Says the Irishman, swigging from a hip flask.
The foreman goes off in a rage to find the Chinese man. Upon opening the supply shed the Chinese man jumps out from behind the door and yells "Surprise!"
A property developer and a building contractor are standing on a construction site...
It's getting late and the developer wants the contractor to stay and finish the work. The discussion starts getting a little heated. The contractor says, "You know, when I was working for Donald Trump, he would put $10 000 on the table as a bonus and we would work through the night and get the job done. Why don't you do that?" The developer glances across the construction site and says, "Well, we don't have a table".
My favorite joke that my grandfather would tell me
A contractor is about to build a house and he needs help. He hires a white guy to get the wood, a black guy to take care of the blueprints and permits, and an Asian guy to take of getting the supplies. At the end of the day they meet up, the white guy has all the wood, the black guy has gotten everything approved and the blue prints ready, but the Asian man is no where to be found. After searching the site they find a big pile of supplies. As the approach the pile they here a rustling. They get closer and closer until the Asian man jumps out and yells SUPPLIES!!!!!
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging...
...that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."