Building Contractor Jokes
4 building contractor jokes and hilarious building contractor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about building contractor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Building Contractor Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good building contractor joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Building contractor
This building contractor dies in a tragic accident on his 40th birthday.
He ends up heaven where he's greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band and Saint Peter.
Saint Peter shakes the guys hand and says congratulations!
The contractor is a little confused and says congratulations for what?
Congratulations for what!? says Saint Peter.
We're celebrating the fact you lived to the grand old age of 160.
The contractor says, But that's not right. I only lived to be 40.
That's impossible, says Saint Peter. We added up your time sheets!
Defense supercomputer
A large defense contractor finally succeeded in building a supercomputer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders assembled in front of the new machine and were instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They described a hypothetical situation to the computer and then asked the pivotal question, "Attack or retreat?"
The computer hummed away for a minute and then came up with the answer, "Yes."
The generals looked at each other, stupefied.
Finally one of them submitted a second request to the computer, "Yes what?"
Instantly the computer responded, "Yes, Sir!."
A property developer and a building contractor are standing on a construction site...
It's getting late and the developer wants the contractor to stay and finish the work. The discussion starts getting a little heated. The contractor says, "You know, when I was working for Donald Trump, he would put $10 000 on the table as a bonus and we would work through the night and get the job done. Why don't you do that?" The developer glances across the construction site and says, "Well, we don't have a table".
My favorite joke that my grandfather would tell me
A contractor is about to build a house and he needs help. He hires a white guy to get the wood, a black guy to take care of the blueprints and permits, and an Asian guy to take of getting the supplies. At the end of the day they meet up, the white guy has all the wood, the black guy has gotten everything approved and the blue prints ready, but the Asian man is no where to be found. After searching the site they find a big pile of supplies. As the approach the pile they here a rustling. They get closer and closer until the Asian man jumps out and yells SUPPLIES!!!!!
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