Builder Jokes
101 builder jokes and hilarious builder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about builder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article about builder jokes will show you the humour of this profession. Enjoy funny jokes about the apprentice builder Bob, the Irish and cowboy builders, and the flirty, gay and bricklayers builders! Learn about building with a smile on your face!
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Funniest Builder Short Jokes
Short builder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The builder humour may include short building jokes also.
- I just turned on nickelodeon and saw bob the builder building a wall... ... to keep dora from exploring.
- Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.
One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"
The other said, "What for?" - My boss just called me to tell me I'm responsible for the collapse of another bank. I said What? How can that be possible. I don't even work in finance. I'm a builder
- I never understood how Dr. Frankenstein got overpowered by his monster... ... I mean, the guy was an amazing body builder.
- What do you call an i**... Italian immigrant? an imPASTA!
- Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?" Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point."
- What do you call Bob the builder during a recession? Bob
(I'm sorry idk why, but I had to post this) - How do you starve a feminist? Lock her in a room with a jar of pickles and a male body builder.
- Body builder to blind dude: with enough training, you can get ripped like me Blind dude: I feel you.
- What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the body builder in his pharmacy? These are not the 'roids you are looking for.
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Builder One Liners
Which builder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with builder? I can suggest the ones about creator and developer.
- What do you call a pregnant woman? A body builder
- Why'd the bomb builder call the hotel at 8pm? He was looking for nitrates.
- What was Bob the Builder called when he retired? Bob
- What do you call unemployed Bob the builder? Bob
- I was always a home builder but lately I've developed an apartment complex.
- What did the body builder say when he ran out of protein powder? "No whey"
- What do you call Bob the builder after he retires? Bob
- Why are body builders so good at making cheese? Because they have huge calves
- People always give bridge builders a hard time... They're just trying to make ends meet.
- You're momma so ugly That when bob the builder see her he says I can't fix that
- Why do PC builders hate adoption? Because they dont want a pre-build
- Why did the airplane builder love his job? Because every day was riveting.
- What did the body builder say when he was told protein shakes don't work? No whey!
- Tree house builders get no respect... I mean they go out on a limb to build these things!
- I tried to be a professional body builder once But i lost my whey
Body Builder Jokes
Here is a list of funny body builder jokes and even better body builder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the gymnast become a body builder? To increase flex-ability
- Hear about the ex-body-builder couple that broke up? They just weren't working out like they used to...
- My mother is really strong! She's a body-builder.
- What happened to the body builder who lost their protein powder? They lost their whey
- What was the prize for the body builder who went the longest time without working out? aTrophy
- Why was the body builder playing with knives? Because he wanted to get cut
- Did you hear about the ex body builder who can no longer crush a coke can? It's just soda pressing
- What do you get a body builder for Christmas? A dictionary, so they get plenty of definition.
- What did the body-builder say after his house got robbed? No whey...
- What did the zombie body builder say? GAINSSS!!!
Bob The Builder Jokes
Here is a list of funny bob the builder jokes and even better bob the builder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm surprised Bob the Builder ever gets anything done He's surrounded by tools
- How does Bob the Builder have a one night stand? He nuts and bolts
- Bob the builder A drunk Bob the Builder calls his ex-wife at 3am & screams into the answering machine CAN WE FIX IT?? CAN WE?? Not this time Bob. Not this time.
- Everything is so political nowadays I turned on nickelodeon to see Bob the builder building a wall so Dora couldn't explore.
- Yo momma so ugly... That even Bob the builder said he can't fix it.
Credit to my 8 year old nephew. - Bob the Builder sacked! The BBC have announced that Bob The Builder has been sacked.. They say they can no longer trust any children's Tv star who claims to be able to fix it!!
- Yo momma so ugly That when bob the builder saw her he said I can't fix that
- Whatever happened to the Bob the Builder kids show? Handy Manny took his job.
- You're so sad that even Bob the Builder can't fix your life.
- Yo mamma so ugly even Bob the Builder said, "We cant fix it."
Bob Builder Jokes
Here is a list of funny bob builder jokes and even better bob builder puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo mamas so ugly when Bob the builder saw her he said "Oh cannot fix that."
- Bob the Builder asks if we can fix it, Chuck Norris already did.
- Who is Bob the builders worst enemy? Abdulla the destroyer.
Don't get butthurt I'm a muslim myself - Which Indian builder is know all over the world? Bob
- What is Bob the Builder called when he dies? Bob.
- Bob the Builder can build anything, Except a more unified America.
- How do you call Bob the Builder when he is unemployed? Bob
- what do people call bob the builder when he's not building anything? bob
- Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said: '' holy f*c**... we can't fix that.''
Hilarious Builder Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about builder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean built jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make builder pranks.
I once knew a guy...
I once knew a guy who smiled everytime he had a house maid. He was a builder.
What do you call a muslim body builder?
A protein sheikh
An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..
Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young p**... Juan".
A body builder takes off his shirt.
A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!"
He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!"
He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!"
He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!"
He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her. He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that.
She says, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"
A builder came up to me.
He said, "Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"
"Yes," I said. "You just have to balance it on a flat surface."
BodyBuilder and a Blonde
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a great chest you have!'
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He takes off his pants and the blonde says, 'What massive calves you have!'
The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was
Did you hear about the builder who could clap very loudly?
They always got him to raise the roof.
I go into a bar in scotland
The bartender looks rather angry so I go up to him and ask what's up
He says 'you see that bridge over there' pointing outside. I built that. But do they call me Angus the bridge builder. Nooo.
'You see this bar. I built it. Do they call me Angus the bar builder. No.'
'But ye get caught with one goat..."
There's a rumour going around my village that my wife gave the local builder a b**...
There's a rumour going around my village that my wife gave the local builder a b**... after he completed some work for us. Well that's a load of b**.... The only person home that day was our cross dressing son.
Why did the builder fall asleep on the job?
Because he was hammered
I once went high to my construction...
I once went high to my construction job. The supervisor sent me home. Mfw I am the s**... that the builder refused.
A Fairy Tale
After his daughter is cursed by the dark fairy, Maleficent, King Stefan summons his royal carpenters and commands them to make the finest, most comfortable bed in all the land.
"It will be done, Your Majesty," replies the master builder. "Does His Majesty prefer a queen or a king?"
"A king, since you asked," whispers Stefan, "…but don't tell that to the queen!"
A stairway builder was retiring
On his last day the manager held a speech for him in the lunch-room.
"This man has worked here for over 40 years! Just imagine the number of stairs built by you alone! I reckon, on the day you die, you could stack them on top of eachother and reach heaven!"
The retiring builder, a bit red from embaresment, responded quietly:
"Oh, thank you for your kind words, but I have mostly been building basement-stairs..."
Did you hear about the arabian body builder who built a business empire?
They called him the protein sheikh
What's the difference between Chris Brown and a builder?
Chris Brown will actually finish the decking before he leaves
I am a builder from Sioux Falls, and I was recently in Madrid at a local tavern, and couldn't believe the amount of code violations in their building practices. This led me to accept that they are their own culture and....
Nobody inspects the Spanish inn condition.
Pirate builder: Captain, your ship is built.
Pirate Captain: Planks a lot.
A skinny nerd walks into a bar.
Hey! he shouts to one table All you idiots should move to table seven! and to another table he shouts And all you morons should move to table nine! A big a**... body builder gets up from the first table and faces the nerd and growls Hey, I'm not an idiot! The nerd straightens his glasses, looks up to the body builder and replies Well, you go sit at table nine then.
During a zombie apocalypse
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Gamer Zombies: GAMMMMESSS!!
Depressed Zombies: PAINNNNSSS!!
Batman Zombie: BANNNNEEE!!
A body builder takes off his shirt.
A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!" He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!" He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!" He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!" He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her. He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that. She says, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"
An ancient Egyptian architect once asked, Do you know how to build a pyramid?
Well, uh yeah, up to a point, replied the Ancient Egyptian builder
(Believe it or not my toddler just told me that joke. I'm so proud)
Builder
A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take? " his priest asked. "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake. " "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat? " "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber. "
