The Best 58 Builder Jokes

Following is our collection of Builder jokes which are very funny. There are some builder architect jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these builder two builders puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Builder Jokes and Puns

How do you starve a feminist?

Lock her in a room with a jar of pickles and a male body builder.

What do you call Bob the builder after he retires?


A blonde walks up to a crossing next to a builder,

and notices that his boots say L and R on them. "Why do your boots say L and R?" she asks.

"It's so I can remember which one goes on which foot, left or right.", the builder replies.

The blonde says: "Ah, so that's why my panties say C&A!".

What did the athletic trainer say to the body builder who was allergic to protein powder?

"No whey."

I once knew a guy...

I once knew a guy who smiled everytime he had a house maid. He was a builder.

Bob the Builder sacked!

The BBC have announced that Bob The Builder has been sacked.. They say they can no longer trust any children's Tv star who claims to be able to fix it!!

What did the zombie body builder say?


Whatever happened to the Bob the Builder kids show?

Handy Manny took his job.

Gand father sits with his Grandson in a pub

He leans over to his Grandson and says "Laddy, you see that pier out in the water? I built that with me own hands. I planed it straight, and sanded it smooth, but do they call me MacGregor the Pier Builder? No." "And Laddy, you see the bar here? I built it as well, even hand carved the ends. But do they call me MacGregor the Bar Builder? Nooo."

"Listen here Son, you screw ONE goat"...

I'm surprised Bob the Builder ever gets anything done

He's surrounded by tools

I was always a home builder

but lately I've developed an apartment complex.

You can explore builder bricklayer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean builder build dad jokes. There are also builder puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Who can make six figures a year and still be poor?

A toy builder.

What do you call a muslim body builder?

A protein sheikh

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..

Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".

A body builder takes off his shirt.

A blonde says, "Wow, what a great chest you have!"

He says, "100lbs of dynamite, babe!"

He takes off his pants and the blonde says "What massive calves you have!"

He replies, "That's 100lbs of dynamite, babe!"

He then removes his underwear and the blonde runs off screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her. He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that.

She says, "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!"

What do you call a body builder?


Yo momma so ugly...

That even Bob the builder said he can't fix it.
Credit to my 8 year old nephew.

A builder came up to me.

He said, "Do you know how to make a fruit stand?"

"Yes," I said. "You just have to balance it on a flat surface."

BodyBuilder and a Blonde

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, 'What a great chest you have!'
He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He takes off his pants and the blonde says, 'What massive calves you have!'
The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, baby.'
He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running out of the apartment screaming in fear.
The body builder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, 'I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was

Did you hear about the builder who could clap very loudly?

They always got him to raise the roof.

What do you get a body builder for Christmas?

A dictionary, so they get plenty of definition.

I go into a bar in scotland

The bartender looks rather angry so I go up to him and ask what's up

He says 'you see that bridge over there' pointing outside. I built that. But do they call me Angus the bridge builder. Nooo.

'You see this bar. I built it. Do they call me Angus the bar builder. No.'

'But ye get caught with one goat..."

I just turned on nickelodeon and saw bob the builder building a wall...

... to keep Dora from exploring.

Everything is so political nowadays

I turned on nickelodeon to see Bob the builder building a wall so Dora couldn't explore.

What was the prize for the body builder who went the longest time without working out?


I never understood how Dr. Frankenstein got overpowered by his monster...

... I mean, the guy was an amazing body builder.

There's a rumour going around my village that my wife gave the local builder a blow job

There's a rumour going around my village that my wife gave the local builder a blow job after he completed some work for us. Well that's a load of bollocks. The only person home that day was our cross dressing son.

Why did the builder fall asleep on the job?

Because he was hammered

what do you call a body builder masturbating?

a power stroke.

Recently I have began to make sculptures of random Grammatical symbols and letters out of bricks.

People say I'm quite the character builder

Why did the airplane builder love his job?

Because every day was riveting.

What did the body builder say when he ran out of protein powder?

"No whey"

How does Bob the Builder have a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

What is it called when a pc builder has rough sex?

A hard drive

Did you hear about the ex body builder who can no longer crush a coke can?

It's just soda pressing

What did the body builder say when he was told protein shakes don't work?

No whey!

I once went high to my construction...

I once went high to my construction job. The supervisor sent me home. Mfw I am the stoner that the builder refused.

A Fairy Tale

After his daughter is cursed by the dark fairy, Maleficent, King Stefan summons his royal carpenters and commands them to make the finest, most comfortable bed in all the land.

"It will be done, Your Majesty," replies the master builder. "Does His Majesty prefer a queen or a king?"

"A king, since you asked," whispers Stefan, "…but don't tell that to the queen!"

A stairway builder was retiring

On his last day the manager held a speech for him in the lunch-room.
"This man has worked here for over 40 years! Just imagine the number of stairs built by you alone! I reckon, on the day you die, you could stack them on top of eachother and reach heaven!"

The retiring builder, a bit red from embaresment, responded quietly:
"Oh, thank you for your kind words, but I have mostly been building basement-stairs..."

I rang a builder to see if I could have a skip outside my house

Do what you want, your house nothing to do with me

Where would we be without builders?


What did the body builder say to the cab driver?

U don't even lyft, bro.

What do you call a pregnant woman?

A body builder

Yo momma so ugly

That when bob the builder saw her he said I can't fix that

What happened to the body builder who lost their protein powder?

They lost their whey

Did you hear about the arabian body builder who built a business empire?

They called him the protein sheikh

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a builder?

Chris Brown will actually finish the decking before he leaves

I met a part time body builder today, who happens to also be a Rabbi...

he's an absolute *Jew*-nit

Why did the body builder go to the crustacean church?

He heard that it was a good source of mussel mass

What did the road inspector tell the road builder...

When he built the roadway wrong?

It's not my asphalt, it's your asphalt.

I am a builder from Sioux Falls, and I was recently in Madrid at a local tavern, and couldn't believe the amount of code violations in their building practices. This led me to accept that they are their own culture and....

Nobody inspects the Spanish inn condition.

Pirate builder: Captain, your ship is built.

Pirate Captain: Planks a lot.

A skinny nerd walks into a bar.

Hey! he shouts to one table All you idiots should move to table seven! and to another table he shouts And all you morons should move to table nine! A big ass body builder gets up from the first table and faces the nerd and growls Hey, I'm not an idiot! The nerd straightens his glasses, looks up to the body builder and replies Well, you go sit at table nine then.

You're momma so ugly

That when bob the builder see her he says I can't fix that

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the body builder in his pharmacy?

These are not the 'roids you are looking for.

What do you call Bob the builder during a recession?


(I'm sorry idk why, but I had to post this)

During a zombie apocalypse

Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Gamer Zombies: GAMMMMESSS!!
Depressed Zombies: PAINNNNSSS!!
Batman Zombie: BANNNNEEE!!

Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"

Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the builder contractor jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working builder constructor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes