bugger Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious bugger puns

Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."

Bugger that!" says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"


A guy comes home from work one evening...

and he tells his wife, "Ha! That crazy bugger Tom Wilkins from work was bragging today that he's slept with every woman on our block except one!"

His wife says, "I bet it's that snooty old bitch Jane Embry..."


Us Australians are a sensitive bunch

Three Aussie blokes named Mongrel, Coot and Bluey, were working high up on an
outback mobile phone tower.
As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says,
"Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife".
Mongrel says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.

Bluey says, "Where'd you get the beer Mongrel?"
"Coot's wife gave it to me," Mongrel replies.

"That's unbelievable, you actually told his missus her husband was dead and
she gave you a case of beer!"

"Well, not exactly", Mongrel says.
When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Coot's widow."
She said, "You must be mistaken .... I'm not a widow."
Then I said, "I'll betcha a case of beer you are."
Aussies are good at that sensitive stuff.


When I got pregnant people would always say 'eating for two now are we?'

I'd tell them to bugger off, I'm not cutting down.


An eskimo visits Wales...

An eskimo visits Wales, and as he's driving along the motorway, his car breaks down.

The mechanic turns up and looks under the bonnet.

"You've blown a seal." He says.

The eskimo replies "So what? You bugger sheep."


Effective Suicide Counseling

A desperate-looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off when a filthy tramp wandered by, stopped and said, Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you, how about a shag before you go?"

She screamed, "NO! Bugger off you filthy old bastard!

He shrugged and turned away saying, Okay, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then."

She didn't jump.........


Saw a sign in a pet shop window today for a talking centipede, for only $500.00! I thought to myself, "What a bargain!" and I took it home in a little box...

When we got home, I opened it up and asked the centipede if it would like to go down to the bar for a beer, but the centipede didn't answer.

A couple of minutes later, I asked again, but still no response.

I started to get a little ticked off, thinking, maybe this little bugger can't really talk, so I shouted the question again.

Suddenly, the centipede pops his head out of the box and says, "I heard you the first time, you moron, I'm putting my shoes on!"


Rick is attending his wife's funeral

Someone asks: Who rests in peace here?

Rick: Me, now that this stupud bugger is gone.


How much did Jon Snow win on Jeopardy?

Bugger all. He knew nothing.


A packrat decided to make a nest in my car's muffler.

By the time I got to the mechanic the poor bugger was exhausted.


This year i resolve not to make any more New Years Resolutions.

Oh, bugger.


What do you call a gay guy who is pulling above his weight?

A lucky bugger.


What are the most funny Bugger jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Bugger? Well, here are the best Bugger dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Bugger pick up lines to share with friends.


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