Bug Jokes

121 bug jokes and hilarious bug puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about bug that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your preschooler giggle with these hilarious bug jokes! From ladybugs to stink bugs, mosquitoes, and spiders - these insect jokes are sure to get laughs from your little ones. Find the perfect bug joke to keep your preschooler entertained.

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Short Bug Jokes
Bug One Liners
Coding Bug Jokes
Bug Spray Jokes
Software Bug Jokes
Stomach Bug Jokes
More Bug Jokes

Funniest Bug Short Jokes

Short bug jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bug humour may include short insect jokes also.

In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types. But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
People who don't understand the difference between... People who don't understand the difference between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I can't put into words.
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs. Take one down, patch it around...
127 little bugs in the code.
99 programming bugs in the code .
99 programming bugs.
Take one down, patch it all up.
111 programming bugs in the code.
99 little bugs in the code... 99 bugs in the code. Fix one bug, compile it down. 167 little bugs in the code....sigh.
People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in a way I can't put into words thank you for making my day, u/happy_guy23
Today, I played God. I saw a bug, suffering. I watched it for a couple of minutes. Then I kept watching, and watching, and watching...
TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because... ...bugs.
99 bugs in my code, 99 bugs in my code... Take one down, fix em' around, 404 bugs in my code.
When I was a kid I was terrified of earwigs because I thought they were bugs that crawled into your ears. So you can imagine my reaction when I heard about cockroaches.

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Bug One Liners

Which bug one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bug? I can suggest the ones about spider and windscreen.

Do you know why programers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
Why do most programmer use dark mode? Because the light attracts too many bugs
Why does a programmer prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs
Why do bugs have odd beliefs? They're in sects.
Any bug can hit a windshield.. But it takes some guts to stick.
Why do programmers love winter? Because there are no bugs...
Spiders must be... the only web developers who like bugs.
Why do you never see any bugs in a church? Because they are in sects.
People that get entomology and etymology mixed up... Bug me in ways I can't put in words.
why don't programmers like nature? because it has too many bugs
Why are frogs always happy? They eat whatever bugs them
Why are frogs so happy? Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Why does programmers use dark mode? Cause light attracts bugs.
What did bugs bunny save his word processing as? Whats up.doc
When software doesn't work It just bugs me

Coding Bug Jokes

Here is a list of funny coding bug jokes and even better coding bug puns that will make you laugh with friends.

99 critical bugs in the code... 99 critical bugs. Track one down, patch it when found... 100 critical bugs in the code.
24 bugs in the code 24 bugs in the code... Take one down patch it all out... 78 bugs in the code...
Bugs in C code should be called fishes Because fishes are found in the sea
I hate it when mosquitoes land on my computer screen when I'm working... ...it's bugging my code
Programmer Joke 99 Bugs in the Code
99 Bugs in the Code
Take one out, patch it up,
132 Bugs in the Code.
[Programming] s**... Bugs... 99 bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code. Take one down, pass it around, 127 bugs in the code.
Cr

Bug Spray Jokes

Here is a list of funny bug spray jokes and even better bug spray puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I just got arrested for buying bug spray at a store Apparently you're not allowed to get Off in public
My best friend died from inhaling too much bug spray. The coroner said he offed himself.
Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library by killing all of The Beatles
What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray? They are just OFF-full
My girlfriend asked me to get her off. I told her it was a little cold outside to be needing bug spray.
Getting caught I got caught jacking off at the store yesterday. But seriously, who pays for bug spray?
So an unfortunate thing happened... I accidentally dropped a whole bottle of "Off" bug spray into this big beautiful bowl of butterscotch pudding I had slaved over all day.
It was Off-pudding.
I have to spray bug poison.... .....2 A B cos Y not?
Save yourself from a s**... harassment case. If a fellow employee asks, "Do you know a place I can get Off?". They may just need some bug spray.
Yo Mamma so s**... she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!

Software Bug Jokes

Here is a list of funny software bug jokes and even better software bug puns that will make you laugh with friends.

As a software developer, I like my bugs how I like my women Unable to reproduce.
The software engineer was in his office when a large swarm of bugs attacked him. Had he been clad with harder clothes, he might have survived.
Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it...
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

Stomach Bug Jokes

Here is a list of funny stomach bug jokes and even better stomach bug puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Hey I seem to have picked up a stomach bug So far just explosive diarrhea. I will keep y'all posted as situation can best be described as fluid.
What happens when if you eat a microphone? You end up with a stomach bug.
Which doctor should you see when you have a stomach bug? The gastro-entomologist.
Why shouldn't you eat a microphone? You'll end up with a stomach bug.
Have had a stomach bug all day... Needless to say I had a really c**... St Party's day.

Gather Around for Fun Bug Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about bug you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mosquito jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bug pranks.

Hey, bug on my back, asked a fly. Are you a mite?

I mite be, giggled the mite.
The fly groaned. That's the worst joke I've ever heard!
Well, what did you expect? said the mite. I came up with it on the fly.

A fly feels a bug on its back

"Hey, bug on my back, are you a mite?", it asks
"I *mite* be", giggles the mite
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard", groans the fly
"What do you expect?", says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly"

I hate people who can't distinguish etymology and entomolgy

They bug me in ways I can't put into words.

Dad, are bugs good to eat..?

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."

How programmers and cats are alike?

They both can sit in the same position for long time and get excited when they find a bug

Did you hear about the bed bug band?

They mostly play covers
(OC my dudes, read em and weep)

A little boy asked his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?"

"That's not appropriate dinner table conversation, son," said his dad. "We can talk about that later."

After dinner the man said, "Now, son, what were you trying to ask me before?"

"Oh, nothing," said the boy. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."

Dad, are bugs good to eat? asked the boy. Let's not talk about such things at the dinner table, son, his father replied. After dinner the father inquired, Now, son, what did you want to ask me?

Oh, nothing, the boy said. There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone.

A teacher asks her class

to use the word "contagious". Roland, the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious."
"Well done, Roland," says the teacher.
"Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious."
"Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"
Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a two inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."

In a restaurant, a boy asks his Dad "are bugs ok to eat?" His Dad says "We don't talk about bugs while we eat. Let's discuss them later". When they are finished and waiting for their check, the Dad asks his son "now what were you asking me about?"

"Oh, nothing, really" the boy replied. There was a bug in your salad, but now it's gone."

Two flies riding on a motorbike.

One says to the other: Stop! Stop! A bug just flew into my eye.

Two robots had s**... due to a bug in their programming and soon thereafter a baby robot was born.

He was a son of a glitch.

Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.

They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.

What is worse than finding a bug in your salad?

Getting anally r**... by a rhinoceros.

My mom said my Pawpaw would say this joke all the time in the car. They'd be driving along and a bug would splat against the windshield and he'd say...

"I bet he doesn't have the guts to do that again."

Two bugs are having a conversation...

A fly asks a small bug on its back "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
The small bug replies, "I mite be."
The fly says, "Stupidest pun I ever heard."
The small bug replies, "What do you expect? I just made it up on the fly!"

Dad, are bugs good to eat?

That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner, the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, Now, son, what did you want to ask me?
Oh, nothing, the boy says. There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone.

I answered my front door this morning and was punched in the face by a 5 foot tall beetle.

That must have been the n**... bug that's going around.

What do you call bug mating?

INSEX

A bug hit the windshield and my Grandma said:

"I bet he won't have the guts to do that again!"

I heard a report!

I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently, 9 out of 10 people there suffered from diarrhea. I can't stop thinking about that tenth person who apparently enjoyed it.

Bubba n' Buford

Bubba n' Buford were sittin' on their porch one afternoon drinkin' beer n' bein' entertained by the bug zapper when this semi haulin' sod comes over the hill n' passes in front of their trailer. Bubba declares, "When we get rich I'm gonna do that!". Buford, asks "Do what?". Bubba looks at Buford like he's a idiot n' says, "Well duh, send our grass out to get it cut like them folks!".

I hate insect puns.

They bug me.

A Bug Story

Big GTA 5 bug

A cop killed my white character in GTA 5. Anyone else experiencing this bug?

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

Ambush Watch

Down at the Senior Center the other day Joe was telling a tale about his experience in the jungle during his war. It seems that he was wearing a cheap watch one night while on an ambush and it made so much noise that his buddy insisted that he douse the watch with bug spray . . . to get rid of the ticks.

I thought i saw a spider on my laptop

It turned out it was just a bug.

The Oxymoron poem

Ladies and Gentlemen; hobos and Tramps; bug eyed mosquitos and legged ants: I come here before you to stand behind you to tell you a story I know nothing of.
One cold dark day in the middle of the night two dead boys stood up to fight, back to back they face each other, drew their swords and shot each-other! The deaf policeman heard this noise and came and killed those two dead boys.
Now if you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it to.

What noise does a bug make when it hits your windshield in Moscow?

Splyat.

People who can't distinguish between etymology and entomology,

bug me in ways I cannot put into words.

For the smart people

People who don't know the linguistic difference between Etymology and Entomology really bug me.

What do you call a large bug that's very accepting of people no matter what?

Tolerant

A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies.

After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it's gone."

Late one night, Norm answered the doorbell to find a 6 foot tall cockroach standing on the step.

The bug grabbed Norm by the collar, punched him in the eye, threw him across the living room and then ran off.
The next day, Norm went to see his doctor to have his bruised eye examined.
Ah, yes, the doctor said when Norm explained what happened. There's a n**... bug going around.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What's the sexiest type of bug?

A WHOREnet

Why was the albino, glasses-wearing man okay with a wizard turning him into a cool looking bug?

He was a pretty fly, four eyed, white guy.

Left a review for my pest control company:

Con's: The pesticide they used made me go blind
Pro's: Haven't seen a bug all year

A bug hit my windshield, I know the last thing that went trough its mind.

His guts

Dad, are bugs ok to eat?

"That's disgusting, don't ever talk about that over dinner"
After dinner, dad asks
"What was that all about?"
"There was a bug in your soup, it's now gone"

I heard a knock at my door yesterday morning

I opened the door and got punched in the face by a giant cockroach
I went and told my doctor and he said
ah yes I've heard there's a n**... bug going round

What do you call a crazy bug on the moon?

A lunar tick.

I found a bug in Madden 2015

I sacked Tony Romo, and he didn't break his collarbone.

What did the other bugs call the bug who wanted to be an astronaut?

A LUNAtick

What do you call a depressed bug?

A pestimist

A man has just died.

As his soul leaves his body and begins to float towards the clouds, he hears a loud, booming voice.
**"Come. Come towards the light, my son."**
And so he does.
Meanwhile, atop his cloud, God laughs, as another human hits his bug zapper.

I didn't expect a bug to crawl out of my m**... stash...

But it just came out of the blue.

Two women left a bar after a night of drinking

On their way home they began following a set of railroad tracks.
After several minutes following the tracks, one woman said "This is the LONGEST flight of stairs i've ever climbed in my life!"
The second said "it's not the stairs that bug me, it's these d**... low railings!"

Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?

She's gonna have her baby in the spring.

What did the chameleon say when he walked across a tie-dye shirt?

Whoa, that last bug must have been laced with something!

There's a joke to be made about Niantic removing the step feature in Pokémon go instead of fixing the bug.

But I just can't seem to find it.

I can hear two bug swatters having a huge argument nearby.

I'd give anything to not be a fly on the wall.

What is worse than a bug in an apple?

holocaust

What do you call a cooked bug?

A French fly

God I hate hidden microphones

They bug me so much!

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space?

A lunar-tick

How did the bug fetishist drink her apple juice?

She put a spider in cider.

While escaping from the police, what did one bug say to the other?

You butterfly!

What is a pothead's favorite bug?

A Roach

Did you hear about the lightening bug that ran into the bug zapper?

He was delighted.

What did the Japanese father say to his son when he got a bug bite on his knee?

You got an ichi-ni-san?

What do you call a grasshopper that forgot the words to "We Wish You a Merry Christmas?"

A "hum" bug.

My car is so fast that it smacked into a bug and killed it...

While I was parallel parking.

A guy at my work caught a bug from a revolving door.

It's going around.

It's spring in New England, so I bought a high quality bug zapper to help deal with all those pests, and I woke up to protests outside my house.

# Blackfliesmatter

I met a tiny, alien robot that looked like a small bug. He told me his friends escaped their home planet, and found a home here. He was confident that his race would be OK.

He was Optimus Tick