The Best 19 Budge Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Budge jokes. There are some budge flinch jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these budge stubborn puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Budge Jokes and Puns

A church has a rat problem

The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.

Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.

Where ya from Sam?

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.
"Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.
And with pain in his voice, Sam replied, "The balcony."

Pulling Together

A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.

"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.

"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.

Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."

Budge joke, Pulling Together

A stranger gave me a really old metal box...

He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.

So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys later if it works or not.

Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.

Einstein opens his eyes and says "Newton! I found you! You're it!"

"No," says Newton. "You found a Newton in one square meter. You found Pascal!"


Toughen Up

I'm sick of people telling me I'm a weakling so last night I went to the gym.

After a light warm up, I steadied myself, put both hands on the metal bar and heaved with all my might. I strained and I strained but still, no matter how hard I tried, I could not get it to budge.
Eventually one of the burly staff members came over and said... "Stop pulling on the door mate, we're closed."

Your debt will always stay with you...

If you can't budge it.

Budge joke, Your debt will always stay with you...

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budge it, so he had to work it out with a pencil.

Did you hear about the constipated chancellor?

He couldn't budge it :P

Old couple looking to divorce

Husband and wife both above 90 go to a lawyer looking for a divorce. They've been married for more than 60 years.



The lawyer does his best to try to discourage them but they won't budge, they are not happy with each other and they want their divorce. So the lawyer asked what made them wait this long?



"We were just waiting for the kids to die." said the woman.

They say drinking milk makes you stronger...

So I drank a carton of milk, and then I tried to push my fridge and it didn't even budge.

Frustrated, I decided to drink a bottle of vodka, and guess what happened?

The fridge moved itself

You can explore budge slid reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean budge occupant dad jokes. There are also budge puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What was the budget for The Room?

Cheap, cheap, cheap!

How do you push the high costs of living out of your way?

You just got to budge it!

You're stuck in debt...

...if you can't budge it.

With-holding Sex Always Make Them Crack

I'm with-holding sex from countless women at the moment, and they won't even budge.

If you budget for food...

... Is that accounting for taste?

Budge joke, If you budget for food...

I want to go budget bungee jumping

Im gonna leave this world how I came into It

With a bit of broken rubber

Last year I tried to move abroad to discover my strengths.

But she was too heavy and wouldn't budge.

CERN's new budget-priced particle detector can't detect exotic particles

It's just the standard model.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the budge usher jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working budge adamant piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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