Budge Jokes
27 budge jokes and hilarious budge puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about budge that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Budge Short Jokes
Short budge jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The budge humour may include short nudged jokes also.
- Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budge it, so he had to work it out with a pencil.
- Last year I tried to move abroad to discover my strengths. But she was too heavy and wouldn't budge.
- With-holding s**... Always Make Them Crack I'm with-holding s**... from countless women at the moment, and they won't even budge.
Share These Budge Jokes With Friends
Budge One Liners
Which budge one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with budge? I can suggest the ones about bargain and buds.
- Your debt will always stay with you... If you can't budge it.
- Did you hear about the constipated chancellor? He couldn't budge it :P
- How do you push the high costs of living out of your way? You just got to budge it!
- You're stuck in debt... ...if you can't budge it.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Budge Jokes
What funny jokes about budge you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean breeze jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make budge pranks.
Pull
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
A church has a rat problem
The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.
Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.
Where ya from Sam?
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.
"Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.
And with pain in his voice, Sam replied, "The balcony."
Pulling Together
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
A stranger gave me a really old metal box...
He said it was supposed to contain gold coins, but the lock and the hinges were so rusty which made it very hard to open. I tried a hammer and a crowbar, but the box just won't budge.
So, I'm thinking of trying to open this box with a stick of dynamite, as a last resort. I'll update you guys later if it works or not.
Three guys are competing to see who is the best swordsman in the world.
The first guy throws an orange into the air and chops it into 10 pieces before it hits the ground.
The second guy throws a grape in the air and chops it into 20 pieces before it hits the ground.
The last guy sees a fruit fly and takes a massive swipe at him. The fly doesn't even budge and flies away.
The other two start laughing and declare him the loser
"Ah he says but that fly will never be a father"
Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek.
Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.
Einstein opens his eyes and says "Newton! I found you! You're it!"
"No," says Newton. "You found a Newton in one square meter. You found Pascal!"
Toughen Up
I'm sick of people telling me I'm a weakling so last night I went to the gym.
After a light warm up, I steadied myself, put both hands on the metal bar and heaved with all my might. I strained and I strained but still, no matter how hard I tried, I could not get it to budge.
Eventually one of the burly staff members came over and said... "Stop pulling on the door mate, we're closed."
Old couple looking to divorce
Husband and wife both above 90 go to a lawyer looking for a divorce. They've been married for more than 60 years.
The lawyer does his best to try to discourage them but they won't budge, they are not happy with each other and they want their divorce. So the lawyer asked what made them wait this long?
"We were just waiting for the kids to die." said the woman.
They say drinking milk makes you stronger...
So I drank a carton of milk, and then I tried to push my fridge and it didn't even budge.
Frustrated, I decided to drink a bottle of v**..., and guess what happened?
The fridge moved itself
What was the budget for The Room?
Cheap, cheap, cheap!
If you budget for food...
... Is that accounting for taste?
I want to go budget bungee jumping
Im gonna leave this world how I came into It
With a bit of broken rubber
CERN's new budget-priced particle detector can't detect exotic particles
It's just the standard model.
A man and a woman had been arguing over who should make the coffee.
This discussion went on for quite some time, with both parties refuse to budge.
The woman then says "I don't have to make the coffee because the bible says so."
To which the man responds " yeah ok, there is nothing in the bible about coffee!"
The woman, flustered, gets up from her seat and leaves the room.
She returns moments later with an open bible, sifting through the pages.
The man rolls his eyes.
"Here it is!" The woman exclaims, " a whole section about it! Right at the top of the page! It says, 'He brews'"
A man named Nate
So, once upon a time in a poor country there was an earthquake. A rock slid down a hill and crushed a town's well. Now the town could not get fresh water and wasn't going to be able to live long. So they tried to move the rock. They got the biggest tree they could find and tried to pry it up, but it didn't budge. Finally, on the second day with no water a man named Nate went to move the rock. He lifted it up with relative ease and moved it. Then the town had fresh water again.
Morale: Better Nate than Lever.
