Buddie Jokes
29 buddie jokes and hilarious buddie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about buddie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Buddie Short Jokes
Short buddie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The buddie humour may include short fella jokes also.
- My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo The money's not great but the tips are huge
- My buddy just got a job in marketing with Kellogg's cereals... I guess you could say his job is raisin Bran awareness.
- My buddy said to me yesterday, "If I shagged your wife, would that make us related"? I said "No man, that would just make us even."
- I told my buddy that jewish people call god by a different name He was like, "No way!"
I was like, "Yahweh" - My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby." I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...
- I invited my buddy to a costume party and he said he was going as his dad He didn't show up
- God: *creates worm* Hey there little buddy! worm: Thanks for the worm welcome
God: *creates birds* - I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer. He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a blue Moon."
- My buddy asked me how I got ahold of Kevin bacon's phone number Told him I know a guy ^(who knows a guy) ^^who ^^knows ^^a ^^guy ^^^who ^^^knows ^^^a ^^^guy
- My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films... He forgot to show Up
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Buddie One Liners
Which buddie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with buddie? I can suggest the ones about bud and apartment.
- My buddy gave me a terrible thesaurus. It was terrible.
- I asked my buddy what it's like working at Google. Says he can't complain.
- My buddy has a trophy wife But from the looks of it she didn't get first place
- I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup... I didn't know if he was friend or pho.
- My buddy was really into Beyblades before he died His tombstone reads:
LET IT
R. I. P. - I just broke up with my lazy gym buddy. Didn't work out.
- I wanted to make a joke to my buddy about Indian food... But he was having naan of it
- What's the motto of the Greek army? Never leave your buddy's behind.
- What's today's date? 10-4 Good Buddy!
- What do you call a boat full of buddies? A friend-ship
- Condoms aren't 100% safe. My buddy was wearing one when he got hit by a bus.
- My buddy said he made a voodoo doll of me. I think he's pulling my leg.
- My buddy feels like life's always peeing on him He's a real pissimist.
- Little Debbie doesnt have a friend with benefits.... She has a Nutty Buddy
- I got four words for you buddy I don't understand how numbers work
Uproarious Buddie Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about buddie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drove jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make buddie pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I've got some buddies...
They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical m**... to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.
One of my buddies made a trans girl cry yesterday. So I angrily asked, "How could you..."
"... propose to her without telling me first?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
2 old buddies mourning the loss of a friend
2 old friends are catching up at an old pal's f**.... One takes a moment to pause and finally asks the question.
"So... How'd it happen?"
To which the other responds.
"Well, as I understand it, he went to the doctor the other day and the doctor said he was 'as healthy as a horse.' But on the way home he broke a leg."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My buddies and I were running a train on this German girl
I had to keep telling her there were only 8 of us.
My buddies own a yacht together that they keep on the French Riviera.
They have such a beautiful France ship.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My buddies dad got a s**... change and started telling me all about his life's secrets...
He was super trans-parent.
4 buddies put in together for a joint rental application
They just wanted to pass it around and take a few hits, then give it back.
My buddies and I were playing poker with children's story books and I got a good hand.
Read em and sleep boys
One of my old buddies, James King, named his newborn son Thin.
I'm sure he wasn't thinking, but his son is.
You'll never believe how my buddies and I found a new player for our weekly poker game.
Clique bait.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Buddies
This guy brings his best golf buddy home, unannounced, for dinner at 6:30, after enjoying a day of golf. His wife screams her head off while his friend sits open mouthed and listens to the tirade.
"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a f****** mess, and the dishes aren't done. I'm completely exhausted! I didn't get enough sleep last night. Can't you see I'm still in my f****** pajamas?? I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the f*** did you bring him home without letting me know ahead of time, you s**... idiot?"
Because he's thinking of getting married..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 buddies go on a ski trip
After a long 18 hour drive, they get to mountain and they are exhusted. So they quickly rent a cabin and rush in to get to bed. When they get inside they realize that there is only one bed, and quickly agree to share it because they just want to sleep.
When they woke up they all felt refreshed and the guy on the far right said, "I just had the best w**... ever, I was with this hot blonde that would just not stop. "
The guy on the far left, to his surprise said, "wow, I also had a w**..., I saw the girl of my dreams and we were going at it too!"
The guy in the centre confused said, "you guys are lucky, all i dreamt of was skiing and for some reason my hands are sticky"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two buddies went hunting..
There were two buddies, Alan and Dave, who decided to go hunting. They drove for well over an hour, and walked into the woods for about an hour more, when suddenly Dave collapsed. Alan panicked, and immediatly rang 911 and told the lady: *You gotta help me, Dave just died!*. The lady at the other end calmly said: *Calm down sir. Now, can you go and make sure that he is infact dead?*. Alans end of the line got quiet for a little bit until a loud **bang** was heard. Some more seconds passes, and Alan picks up the phone again and says: *OK he's dead, now what?*
Me and my buddies go-to joke.
A high school senior is in a rush to get everything he needs ready for his high school prom the next day. First thing he needs to get is a tuxedo. He goes to the tux shop and there's a huge line. So he waits in the line, gets his tux, and goes on his way. The next thing he needs are flowers for his date. He gets to the flower shop, and again, there's a huge line. He waits in the line, gets his flowers, and goes on his way. The last thing he needs is his limo to take his date to prom in. He goes to the limo rental center, and once again, there's an enormous line. He waits in the line, rents his limo for the next day, and finally goes home. The next day he shows up to his dates house, tux on, flowers in hand, riding in a fancy limo. His date and him get to the prom, and start dancing. After a while he starts to get really thirsty. He asks his date, "Hey do you want something to drink?" She replies, "Oh sure, could you grab me some punch?" The guy leaves his date to get her some punch, and sure enough, there's no punch line.
