Buddhists Jokes
35 buddhists jokes and hilarious buddhists puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about buddhists that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Buddhists Short Jokes
Short buddhists jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The buddhists humour may include short ovens jokes also.
- Glad to see my Buddhist friends join and chant in the protests Everyone knows the more Ohms- the greater the resistance.
- Perfect on the spot SFW joke What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
Make me one with everything. - A Buddhist monk sees Jesus' face in a tub of margerine And he exclaimed, I can't believe it's not Buddha!
- One Buddhist asked another Buddhist, "How's life?" The second Buddhist answered, "I've had better."
- A Buddhist buys a hotdog and gives the vendor a $20 bill.. He takes a bite and then says "wheres my change?"
The vendor replies "change only comes from within" - Why do Buddhists always buy 1 ply toilet paper? Because they like to get in touch with their inner self.
- A vegan buddhist... ...decides to jump off the roof of a meat factory as the ultimate form of protest believing that he will be reincarnated. He became a vegetable.
- So a Buddhist goes to a hotdog stand. And asks the server to "make me one with everything"
- Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners of the monastery? Because they have no attachments.
- Hear the one about the Buddhist monk who *almost* achieved total spiritual enlightenment? He only made it to Nearvana.
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Buddhists One Liners
Which buddhists one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with buddhists? I can suggest the ones about zen buddhist and vacuum.
- First Buddhist: "How's life?" Second Buddhist: "I've had better."
- What did the Buddhist monk say when asked to leave his temple? 'Nah imma stay.'
- Why can't Buddhists learn binary code? Because they are at one with everything.
- What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow? Fro-zen.
- What did the Buddhist ask for when he walked into the pizza place? One with everything
- why do buddhists walk around barefoot its good for the sole
- Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch? Because they have no attachments.
- What did the Buddhist say when he was reborn as a cowboy? WHAT IN CARNATION?!
- I went to a Buddhist hotdog stand... ...and they made me one with everything.
- A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand And says, "make me one with everything"
- How do Buddhist monks send emails? They remove all attachments.
- How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's already enlightened.
- Buddhist monk walks into a Pizzeria. He asks "Can you make me one with everything?"
- How many buddhists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they enlighten themselves.
- Wanted: Buddhist Monk Enquire within.
Ridiculous Buddhists Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about buddhists you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hoover jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make buddhists pranks.
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."
After a brief chuckle, the vendor makes the hot dog and gives it to the monk, saying "That will be $4 please". After the monk hands over a $10 bill, he finds himself waiting uncomfortably while the vendor does nothing except stare back at him.
Awkwardly the monk asks "What about my change?" "Ah," replies the hot dog vendor, "Change must come from within."
A Muslim, a Buddhist and a Christian are forced to jump off a building
So the Buddhist man jumps first. He prays: Buddha, Buddha, Buddha, Buddha... When he reaches the ground, he lands safely.
The next one is the Muslim. He jumps, and prays: Inshallah, Inshallah, Inshallah... Upon reaching the ground, he smashes so hard and dies instantly.
The last one is the Christian man. He jumps and starts praying: O u r F a t h e r i n H e a v e n, hallowed be your name. YOUR KINGDOM COME! YOUR WILL... BUDDHA, BUDDHA, BUDDHA, BUDDHA!
"Make me one with everything," says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor.
Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.
The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."
A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says to the vendor...
"Make me one with everything."
So the hotdog vendor makes him a hotdog with every topping, and the Buddhist hands him a twenty. He proceeds to eat the hotdog, but gets no change for his twenty dollar bill. He says, "Hey, where's my change?"
The hotdog vendor replies, "Change comes only from within."
(Courtesy of my fifty year old husband, who cant go five hecking minutes without making a dad joke)
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says Make me one with everything .
The hot dog vendor hands over the sausage and bun with all the trimmings, and the Buddhist hands over a twenty. The vendor pockets it.
The Buddhist asks Where's my change? and the vendor replies change must come from within .
A gun then extends from the Buddhist's chest and he asks again.
The vendor says Whoa, man, where did that come from?
The Buddhist replies This is my inner piece .
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: 'Make me one with everything'....
After a brief chuckle at the monks joke the vendor hands him his hot dog with everything and says 'That'll be $4 please'.
The monk hands over a $10 bill and waits whilst the vendor just stares back at him....
Awkwardly the monk ask's 'What about my change'?.
'Ah' replies the hot dog vendor, 'Change must come from within'.
What does a r**... Buddhist believe in?
Reintarnation.
A Buddhist monk walks upto a hotdog stand and says...
"Make me one with everything."
Despite this being an overused statement, the vendor serves him a hotdog as he is a customer. When the monk asks if he has 27 cents, the vendor replies "Change comes from within."
The monk then pulls out a p**... from his robe and shoots the vendor. After this, he states "I have found my inner piece."
