Buckle Up Jokes
55 buckle up jokes and hilarious buckle up puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about buckle up that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Buckle Up Short Jokes
Short buckle up jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The buckle up humour may include short buckle jokes also.
- Grandma went to the hospital saying she felt a lump on her breast... Turns out it was her belt buckle.
- I bought a belt with a clock as a buckle. When I put it on I couldn't read it.
What a waist of time!!!! - Top 3 lies told by Wyoming cowboys 1) I own this truck.
2) I won this belt buckle in a rodeo.
3) I was just helping that sheep over the fence. - The three biggest lies in Wyoming... "I won this belt buckle in a rodeo, my trucks paid for and I was just helping that sheep over the fence."
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel for a belt buckle Bar tender says "I like the belt buckle"
Pirate replies "Arrgh, it's drivin me nuts" - I never have a hard time remembering to buckle up in the car. Seatbelts are fastenating to me.
- They make wrist watches, and pocket watches. I finally figured out why they don't make belt buckle watches: It's a waist of time.
- My wife got so mad at me yesterday just for taking a nap I mean she acts like we weren't buckled in
- Why does my 4 year old son trigger my cars seat belt alarm but my 30 pack of beer doesn't? Because I buckle up my beer.
- What's the difference between an Irish Catholic and a Roman Catholic? A few notches on the belt buckle.
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Buckle Up One Liners
Which buckle up one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with buckle up? I can suggest the ones about strap up and belt buckle.
- I made a belt with a watch as the buckle Turned out to be a waist of time.
- Why did Princess Diana Cross the Road? She wasn't buckled in.
- I spent a lot of time designing a belt buckle with a clock on it. What a waist of time.
- I vowed I would never wear a seatbelt. But under lots of pressure, I buckled.
- What did the turkey say to the motorist? Buckle Buckle
- How do you know if a blonde is dating? You'll see a belt buckle sign on her forehead
- Life hack Use your seat belt buckle to open your beer while driving
- Pirate with steering wheel for belt buckle "Arrr, it's driving me nuts!"
- Why did the Pilgrims pants keep falling down Because his belt buckle was on his hat
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Buckle Up Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about buckle up you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean seat belt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make buckle up pranks.
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
“All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
From a Southwest Airlines employee
"Welcome aboard Southwest Flight x**... to Chicago. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
A woman is in a coma...
Desperate for ways to wake her up, the husband frantically asks the hospital staff what can be done. No one had an answer. Later that night as he sit by her side, a nurse from earlier in day is finishing her shift and pops in the room to give some last minute advice. "You know, it may not help, but I've heard of instances where o**... s**... has pulled a woman out of a coma"
Twenty minute later the woman's vital sign monitor alarm goes off. The doctors and nurses rush into the room to find the husband zipping up his pants and buckling his belt.
"I don't think it helped her, but I sure feel better"
Biscuits & Doughnuts
An Admiral visits one of the ships under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the US Naval Insignia stamped on every biscuit.
He went to the cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command. The cook replied, "Well Admiral, after each one is cut out I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the insignia".
Horrified, the Admiral exclaims "That's very unhygienic!"
The cook shrugs and replies "In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the Doughnuts".
A pirate walks into a bar...
...he has a parrot on his shoulder and a steering wheel on his belt buckle. Bartender says, "hey you've got a steering wheel on your belt." Pirate says, "arg! I know, it's driving me nuts!"
An Admiral visited one of the ships under his command.
While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval insignia stamped on every biscuit.
He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command.
The Chief replied, "I'd be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the Navy insignia."
Horrified, the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"
The Chief shrugs and replies, "Well, if that's the way you feel, Sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts."
Navy biscuits
An Admiral visited one of the ships of the line under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval insignia stamped on every biscuit.
He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command.
The Chief replied, "I'd be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the Navy insignia.
Horrified the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"
The Chief shrugs and replies, "Well, If that's the way you feel, sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts."
What are the three biggest lies an Oklahoma State fan tells?
I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.
My boss refused to give me a raise until I whipped him with my belt.
It took some feirce negotiating, but he finally buckled.
So a pirate walks into a bar...
So a pirate walks into a bar. The bartender notices he has a large ship wheel on what looks like his belt buckle. The pirate tries to sit at the bar, but the wheel is too large for him to be able to comfortably sit. The bartender says, "Hey, you're having trouble because of that wheel on your c**...." The pirate replies, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."
How can you tell when the blonde's boyfriend's birthday is?
when she has a belt-buckle imprint on her forehead
A Pirate walks into a Bar
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his belt buckle. The bartender says "what's that on your belt buckle?"
Pirate says "Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
How do you know if a cow girl has a boy friend?
There's a belt buckle imprint on her forehead
Avoiding Turbulence
I was flying in a small plane that was headed into a storm, and we started going through some bad turbulence. I buckled my seat belt, curled against the window, and closed my eyes.
"What are you doing?" my wife asked.
"I can't make the turbulence stop," I said, "but I can go to sleep so I don't suffer."
"But honey," she replied, "you're the pilot!"
Every cook has a secret
The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.
The s**... life of my belt's buckle...
The s**... life of my belt's buckle is as frustrating as mine. It also sees many holes everyday but goes in the same hole again and again!
This weekend I bought a belt buckle that was also a functional face clock...
I threw it out. It was a waist of time.
Strapped For Cash
During college, I worked on
a conveyor belt. One day, I was
on a blind date, and she asked me about my job.
I work at the end of a belt, I said.
With an ebullient smile, she asked, Are you the buckle?
I couldn't quite click my seat belt together the other day...
Then it buckled...wait...s**....
If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.
However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️
After years of empty promises about "buckling down and flying right,"...
.. Greece has finally set the place on fire for the insurance money.
What's the hardest thing to find on a fat guy with his shirt tucked in?
His belt buckle.
(Go easy first time posting in here)
This is kinda offensive so buckle up
What do you call a black man who's very good at magic? A negromancer
Me and my friends went to the Barbershop after a long quarantine, We sat their and the head barbarian said ,
Buckle up boys!! it's gonna be hairy.
I was trying to milk a goat once...
One evening, I was going to milk a goat in the barn. As I started, the goat tried to kick me by her back leg. So I took a rope and tied her leg to one of the wooden poles in the barn.
I tried to continue, but she tried to kick me by the other back leg, so I took another rope and tied it to the other pole.
Then, as I was bending to start milking her again, my belt buckle cracked, the belt came loose and my pants fell down...
And my wife came to the barn...
There are some situations, you are just not able to explain.
A Pirate Walked Into A Bar With A Ship's Wheel
A pirate walked into a bar with a ship's wheel fastened to his belt buckle. The bartender says, "Sir, do you know you have a ship's wheel fastened to your belt buckle?" To which the pirate responds, "Aye, it's driving me nuts!"
A pirate walks into a bar
With a steering wheel on his belt buckle.
Bartender: "Oi pirate! What's with the steery thingy on ye belt?"
Pirate: "Yarr it's driving me nuts!" "Also it's me cake day so please don't be swabbing me in the blue cheese for the bad jokes"
I made an attempt!