Bucket Jokes
138 bucket jokes and hilarious bucket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bucket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From bucket list puns to funny rhymes, this article provides an array of bucket jokes with a playful twist. With clever jokes about bucket hats, bucket trucks, and even "kicking the bucket," get ready for a laugh as you explore the many possibilities of bucket-related humor.
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Funniest Bucket Short Jokes
Short bucket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bucket humour may include short basket jokes also.
- I'll never forget what my grandad told me before he kicked the bucket Daniel I'm sick of this bucket
- Lost: bucket of sand, silt, and gravel Great sedimental value.
(I can't take credit. Read it in a university paper 20 years ago.) - I finally crossed running a marathon off my bucket list No chance I was ever going to do it, glad it's gone.
- I absolutely hate donating blood. As soon as you walk through the door you get bombarded with questions. I absolutely hate when they ask
Where did you get it?
Why is it in a bucket? - I tried to donate blood to the Red Cross the other day... ...but they wouldn't accept it in a 5 gallon bucket.
They also said it had to be mine. - I wrote down my bucket list on a piece of paper, and my crush decided to use it to roll up her joint. She is now high on the list of things I want to do before I die.
- Why do cowboys always want to die with their boot on? So they don't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
- As a practical joke I arranged a bucket of liquid nitrogen so that it fell on our chemistry teacher when he opened the door. He must have found it funny. He completely cracked up!
- Dark Jokes? What's worse than 18 dead babies in a bucket? 1 baby in 18 different buckets.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my Garage.
- I was surprised when a friend said he'll work at KFC right after graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why.
All he said was, "It's in my bucket list."
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Bucket One Liners
Which bucket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bucket? I can suggest the ones about mailbox and shelf.
- How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket
- Why is a bulimic's favorite restaurant KFC? Cause it comes with a bucket.
- What do you call a bucket that's always indoors? Pail
- Everyone has these expansive bucket lists Mine is a little pail in comparison
- How did the bucket's mom know he was sick? He was a little pail.
- What is it called when buckets of paint conspire with each other? A colour scheme.
- Titanic be like "I nominate all passengers for the ice bucket challenge!"
- A child with cancer goes skydiving for his bucket list He's now at terminal velocity.
- Once, a bucket of Sodium Hydroxide slipped out of Skrillex's hands. He dropped the base.
- have you heard about the janitor that died? yeah, he kicked the bucket
- My new bucket really does its job well. My old one pails in comparison.
- I saw someone tip a bucket of mayonnaise on my car. What the Hellman!
- It's so cold outside.... You could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
- What happened when the bucket saw a ghost? It went pale
- What happens when a guy with no legs dies? He punches the bucket
Bucket List Jokes
Here is a list of funny bucket list jokes and even better bucket list puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My girlfriend asked me if I'd ever seen "The Bucket List." I said no, but I'd like to before I die.
- Why can't frogs ever complete their bucket lists? They croak before they even get started.
- I fetched a pail of water and ate a whole KFC family meal to myself... So that's two things I can cross off my bucket list.
- I've compiled my bucket list. I've compiled my bucket list.
4 drumsticks, 4 thighs, original recipe, 2 individual mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. - I just finished all 18 things on my bucket list
- My Scandinavian bucket list 1. Travel to Norway
2. Find a Swedish girl
3. Finnish in her - Bucket list More like fucket list
- Is your name bucket list? Cause I'd wanna do you before I die.
- I got my bucket list mixed up with my shopping list Swam with dolphin-safe tuna.
- Which movie is on every man's bucket list? Die Hard
Red Bucket Jokes
Here is a list of funny red bucket jokes and even better red bucket puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.
Charming Humor Bucket Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about bucket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean belt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bucket pranks.
A rich guy hires an out of work Mexican to do some work.
The guy hands him a 5 gallon bucket of green paint and says, "Go around the side of the house, and paint my porch."
The Mexican knocks on the door a few hours later and says, "I'm finished mister - but I have to tell you, that was no porch, that was a Mercedes."
What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common?
For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler.
-&y (yup, mine)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Pakistani living in England (offensive)
A pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human f**... and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.
Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."
A very thirsty man was wandering the desert ...
... when suddenly he spotted a well. With the last of his strength, he neared himself, and started pulling the bucket upwards.
*Water! Water!* he shouted in anticipation
When suddenly, from the bottom of the well, a voice exclaimed
*Where?! Where?!*
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking
To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues drinking.
A question for your doctor
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
My visit to the patent office
I went into a patent office and told the clerk how I had an idea for a folding bottle, it's called a fottle.
She said that it was ridiculous, so I told her about my idea for a folding carton, it's called a farton.
She said that too is a dumb idea. I said well then I am not even going to tell you about my idea for a folding bucket!
In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?
Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....
Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger....
Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now if you would be so kind as to proceed to bed no.39
Asylum
A reporter is looking for a new story and thought an asylum for the insane would make a nice story. There, his first question is how they know who is sane and who's insane. "Well," the woman working there replied "We give everyone a teaspoon, a tablespoon and a bucket. Then we lead them to the bathroom and ask them to empty the bathtub as fast as they can". "Obviously, the sane people would use the bucket" the reporter says.
"No, the sane people would use the plug..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A story about a r**... and a Game Warden.
A r**... with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Georgia as he started to leave a lake well known for it's fish.
The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"
"Naw, sir," replied the r**.... "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish!?!?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney....you're under arrest."
The r**... said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man.
I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The r**... released the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the r**....
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the r**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'll never forget
I'll never forget what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket.
"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
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I will never forget what my grandad said just before he kicked the bucket.
He looked me dead in the eye and said. "Wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What did grandpa say before he kicked the bucket?
How far do you think i can kick this bucket?
Also, Why did the chicken cross the road?
[He was in the bucket](/spoiler)
So a man gets a job working as a highway stripe painter
The foreman gives the guy a paint brush and a fat bucket of paint and tells the dood where to paint and off the guy goes.
End of the first day the newbie comes back and tells the foreman he did 10 miles. "Outstanding!" The foreman says.
Second day newbie comes back to the shop at the end of the day and tells the foreman he's done 4 miles. 'Not impressive.' The foreman thinks.
End of the third day the newbie tells his foreman he did one mile. The foreman has to ask, "The first day you did 10 miles, the second day you did 4, and today you only accomplished one measly mile? What gives?"
"Well," The newbie says, "Every day the paint can gets farther and farther away.
During a visit to the mental hospital....
..a visitor asks the Director what criterion defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
A bucket goes to the doctor
The bucket was feeling ill, and decided to go to a physician.
The doctor, seeing as this was a new patient, asked him, "tell me about yourself first."
"Well, I can hold about 1/2 a gallon of liquid. I'm 3 years old, and I have to tell you, I feel pretty under the weather."
The doctor replied, "I can tell. You seem to be a little pail."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wanna hear my grandfathers final words before he kicked the bucket?
"Watch me kick this bucket."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I remember the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket...
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I'll never forget my Granddad's last words before he kicked the bucket.
'How far do you reckon I can kick this bucket?'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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You know what my grandfather said right before he kicked the bucket?
"Hey, watch how far I can kick this bucket!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Before my father kicked the bucket he asked me the most profound question...
He said "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
Heard about the statistician who liked to kick back with his feet in the oven and his head on a bucket of ice?
On the average, he was quite comfortable.
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I can finally scratch "murdering an anonymous vagrant" off my bucket list.
I didn't do it, it just doesn't seem all that appealing anymore I guess.
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The last thing my father said to me before he kicked the bucket
Hey, son. Check out how far I can kick this bucket
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My grandfather's final words before he kicked the bucket were...
"I'm gonna kick this bucket!"
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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."
Yep, he really put his whole body weight into that kick. So when I moved the bucket last second he fell and broke his neck.
On Christmas morning, a man says to his seamstress wife "take this small metal bucket"
"as a thimble of my love"
A tiny bucket asks to leave work early because he's sick
His boss looks him over. Alright you can, i notice you are a little pail.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said,
"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
A man went to water his garden...
He didn't have a hose or a watering can, so he improvised by filling a bucket with water and throwing it all over the garden. However, when he did so, the water only landed on every other plant.
Shocked, the man threw his arms up in the air and shouted "water the odds!?"
My grandpa kicked the bucket yesterday, but he's still in the hospital.
His toe injury was more severe than originally thought.
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I'll always remember my grandfathers last words before he kicked the bucket
"Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket!"
I recently told my blonde friend that my grandfather kicked the bucket the other day.
She asked, "Is his foot okay?"
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A tub, pail, can, basket, canister, vat, kettle, cask, p**..., keg, barrel, and bowl.
I needed to make a bucket list before I die.
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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket...
"Hey, how far do you reckon I could kick this bucket?"
After i milked my cow, i made sure i moved the bucket across my face.
They said it was unsafe until it was past your eyes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I'll always remember what my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket
Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!
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One evening an old farmer went down to the pond...
One evening an old farmer went to go down to the pond, as he hasn't been there in a while, he grabbed a five gallon bucket and some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard some voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or get out of the pond n**...". Holding the bucket up he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."
New Years resolution to recycle water
I am putting a bucket in each shower and using the collected water in the clothes washer. I really don't care what everyone else at the gym says.
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A wife went to the beach and didn't return. A husband called the police.
The police came in a week.
- We have 3 news for you: good, bad and great.
- Let's start with the bad one.
- Your wife drowned - we pulled her out of the water.
- And what is the good news?
- We have picked up a bucket of large c**... from her body.
- And what is the great news?
- We'll pull it out again tomorrow. Let's go for a beer!
Snail hunting
This is an old joke my father used to tell me.
A German, Spaniard, and Frenchman all decide to go snail hunting. After an hour had passed they meet back together to compare their catch. The German had a full bucket and the Spaniard had half a bucket, but the Frenchman's bucket was empty.
"Where are your snails?"
"I found a lot of them, but every time I leaned over to grab one, WHOOOOOSH it was gone"
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I will always remember what my Dad told me before he kicked the bucket
He said "Hey. How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I remember what my dad said before he kicked the bucket
He said, "I'm gonna kick this bucket."
Unfortunately there was a grenade in that bucket
A man goes to an asylum and asks
How do you admit your patients? The psychiatrist says Well, we fill a bathtub full of water then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket then we tell them to empty the bathtub . The man replies I see, so the sane person would take the bucket , and the psychiatrist replies No, the sane person will pull the drain plug. Would you like your room to have a balcony sir?
Whats red, looks like a bucket, shaped like a bucket and holds water?
A red bucket.
Whats blue, looks like a bucket, shaped like a bucket and holds water?
A red bucket in disguise.
My 8 year old son...the comedian.
An old farmer was picking apples. After filling up a bucket and walking back to the farm, he saw a group of beautiful women swimming in his pond
As he got closer, he realized they were skinny dipping. When the group noticed the old farmer approaching them, one girl shouts to him "we are not coming out until you turn away". The farmer, thinking quick, holds up the bucket of apples and says "I'm just here to feed the gator anyway"
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As I sat there n**... in George Clooney's hotel room, I thought to myself..
I might have accidentally picked up my wife's bucket list instead of mine.
A mathematician has one foot in a bucket of lava and the other on a block of ice
On average, he's okay.
What's the difference between a piano, a fish, and a bucket of glue?
You can tune a piano but you can't tune a fish.
What about the bucket of glue, you ask?
I knew you'd get stuck on that part.
What's the difference between a bucket and a tub?
For starters, the bucket pails in comparison.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I was fishing when I ran out of bait. I saw a small snake nearby trying to s**... a frog and knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket...
Now, the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit, so I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.
His eyes rolled back, he went limp.
I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.
It was that snake, with two more frogs...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I'll never forget the last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket:
"Hey son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. Well said the director, we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.
Oh, I understand, I said. A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup. No. said the director, A normal person would pull the plug, Do you want a bed near the window?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'll always remember what my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said "Wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you know what the last thing my grandfather said to me was before he kicked the bucket?
Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.
So i went to the record shop and asked the assistant 'What have you got by the Doors? "
He said "An exit sign and a fire bucket"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I can still remember my grandfather's last words before he kicked the bucket
He said to me:
Hey! Wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?
So, this dairy farmer takes his son out to learn about milking for the first time.
After he shows how to pull on the udders and fill the bucket, he says, "Now son, we have to dip your head in the milk to make it safe to drink."
The boy is confused and asks, "You've gotta dunk my whole head in the milk to be safe, Pa?"
The dairy farmer says, "No, son, no..."
"Just past your eyes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Boy with Phenomenal Memory
A host enters the circus and announces:
"Now a boy with a phenomenal memory will enter the arena."
A boy enters the stage, drinks a bucket of water and leaves.
The audience begins to scream and express their displeasure.
Then again the host comes out and says: "And now a boy with a phenomenal memory will p**... on everyone who sits in the second row."
Everyone sitting in the second row jump up and start to run away.
Host: "Hiding is useless! The boy has a PHENOMENAL MEMORY!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What's the difference between racists and bucket of s**...?
The bucket.
What do you call it when you're milking a cow, and the milk goes everywhere but in the bucket?
Udder chaos
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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There once was a man from Nantucket
Who decided to s**... in a bucket
There was no reason why
It was all by the by
He just saw an opportunity and took it
A priest, an imam and a rabbi
A priest, an imam and a rabbi are discussing how they decide how much money goes to god and how much they keep.
The priest goes first: "It's quite simple, we draw a line on the floor and throw the money. Everything beyond the line is for god, the rest is for us."
The imam: "Oh interesting. We do something similar. We put a bucket on the floor and throw the money. Everything in the bucket is for god and we keep what's left. What about you rabbi?"
Rabbi: "Us? Very simple. We throw the money in the air. If it keeps going up, it's for god, if it falls, it's for us."
