Buck Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Buck puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Buck

I walked into a store and noticed they were selling deer nuts for $1.25

Every other time I've seen them, they were under a buck.

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck...

I'll see myself out now.

I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars.

But nature is only out a buck.

What is the cheapest meat?

Deer testicles.

They're under a Buck.

Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts

Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.

Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.

One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.

A cute one I heard from a friend at work.

Three animals walk into a bar; A duck,a skunk and a deer. They go up to the bar and order 3 drinks. "5 dollars" Says the bartender. The deer looks at the duck and says "I don't have a buck to my name!" the skunk cries "I have no money, not even a scent!" but the duck says to the bartender "It's alright, just put it on my bill".

So, I trained a chicken to talk

WIFE: Well, let's see

ME: What's a male deer?

CHICKEN: Buck

ME: How much is 200 pennies?

CHICKEN: Buck Buck

WIFE: This is stupid. Chickens just make that sound

ME: Oh believe me it gets better

CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan

How much do pirates charge for piercings?

A buck an ear.

Fiddy Cent just had a kid.

They named him after his father but adjusted for inflation. They call him Buck Fiddy.

A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States

Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.

Chu became Chuck.

Bu became Buck.

Hu became Huck.

Su and Fu decided to stay in China.

What are the cheapest kind of nuts?

Deer nuts, they're under a buck.

I suck at sports events

It's a good way to make a quick buck.

ME: I trained this chicken to talk.

HER: Let's hear then.

ME: What's a male deer called?

CHICKEN: Buck

ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?

CHICKEN: Buck Buck

HER: This is dumb.

CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.

How much do pirates pay for earrings?

Somewhere around a buck an ear.

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buck an ear

Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States

In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China

A guy with a wooden eye goes to a dance.

He searches the room for a lady ugly enough to dance with someone like himself. He spots one with jutting buck-teeth. He asks, "Will you dance with me?" She replies excitedly, "Would I!?" He angrily yells back at her, "BUCK TEETH!"

How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck 'n ear

Three Chinese went to America..

Three Chinese named Chu, Bu, and Fu went to America.

Upon reaching there they decided to Americanise their names.

So Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck..

And Fu decided to return to China.

How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark's parents?

Just one buck.

How much did it cost HYDRA to kill Tony Stark's parents?

One Buck.

What do you get with legalized prostitution and a highly competitive marketplace?

The best bang for your buck.

A duck, a deer, a skunk and an elephant are sitting in a bar

The end of the night rolls around and the waitress asks who is going to pay the tab.

The duck says that he can't pay because he only has one bill.

The deer says that she had a buck on her last night, but won't have any doe until spring.

The skunk says he can't pay because he only has one scent.

Finally, the elephant says "It's okay boys, the highballs are on me!"

Once, there was 3 chinese people who wanted to go to America.

Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change me name to Buck, adding ck to the end." Chu then said, "then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."

I just opened a deer cloning business...

It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.

How much did the pirate spend on his earings?

A buck an ear.

The City-Slicker and the Farmer

One year, a man who lived in the city decided to try his hand at deer hunting. He bought all the the necessary equipment, a license, and a rifle and headed out to the gamelands a good distance away from the city.

After a full day's hunting, the man spots a gorgeous buck and manages to make a clean shot. The deer runs for awhile and drops dead right in a farmer's yard. When the man goes to retrieve the deer the farmer meets him and claims that the deer is now his because it's on his land. "What are you talking about?! It took me all day to take this buck!"

The farmer looks at the man, who is obviously from the city. "Tell you what. We'll compete for it. We'll take turns kicking each other in the nuts until one of us gives up. The winner gets the deer." The man, not wanting to go home empty handed, timidly agrees.

The farmer immediately hauls back and lands a kick right in the man's groin, collapsing him. The man writhes in pain on the ground for about a minute and slowly stands up. "Okay, my turn."

The farmer says, "Nah that's ok. You can have the deer." He turns around and walks back into his house.

What is cheaper? Deer nuts or beer nuts?

Deer nuts, because they are always under a buck.

There's 3 chinese brothers...

Bu, Chu, and Fu and they want to illgally sneak into America. So they decide to change their names to sound more American. Bu, changes his to Buck. Chu, changes his to Chuck. And Fu, got sent back to China.

How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn?

A buck an ear

Once, a bucket of Sodium Hydroxide slipped out of Skrillex's hands.

He dropped the base.

A bucket goes to the doctor

The bucket was feeling ill, and decided to go to a physician.

The doctor, seeing as this was a new patient, asked him, "tell me about yourself first."

"Well, I can hold about 1/2 a gallon of liquid. I'm 3 years old, and I have to tell you, I feel pretty under the weather."

The doctor replied, "I can tell. You seem to be a little pail."

what's the difference between a normal consumer and a prostitute?

A normal consumer aims to get the most bang for their buck. A prostitute aims to get the most buck for their bang.

A newlywed wife makes her husband pay her a dollar before they have sex.

The husband shrugs and forks it over. This continues throughout the marriage; every time they have sex, he has to pay her a buck.
The husband comes home one day many years later, earlier than usual, and informs the wife that he's lost his job, and he's unsure how they will continue. His wife shows him a bank statement with an account holding over $500,000. "Where did you get this?" he asks. "Remember that dollar you paid me ever time you wanted to have sex? It added up over the years." The husband begins sobbing loudly, and the wife is mystified. "Why are you crying? We're saved!", she says. He replies, "If only I'd brought you ALL my business!"

A buck wearing a robe and clutching a bible was found dead near a rural highway...

The person who found the animal exclaimed "Deer Lord" upon its discovery.

The Good Natured Hunter

Two old fellows are out hunting. The one with the gun sees a buck, broadside, and glistening in the sunlight. Just as he is about to take the shot they see a funeral procession going along a road in the distance. The fellow lowers his gun and tips his hat at the procession - and the deer runs off into the woods. The other fellow says, "Wow, I didn't know you had such compassion for the dead." The old fellow responds, "Well, I just thought that it was the right thing to do - after all, if she'd made another week, we'd have been married for 40 years."

A decides to go hunting

He asks his wife to pack his bag for him and fetch him the shotgun. A short while later his wife returns with the goods, telling him she will be going to town later on and the part ways.

Out in the woods the man suddenly spots the biggest buck he'd ever seen, he ruffles through his bag, looking for shells but when he takes his hand out: tampons... Furious he races home and waits for his wife. When she gets home he explains what happened. For a minute the wife looks puzzled, then with a shock tells him that she thought it was weird when she sneezed at the busstop and the guy behind her dropped dead.

Sorry for my english/wording. I hope it doenst ruin the joke!

I went to a brothel that took deer as payment

They described it as the best bang for your buck

Chinese Immigrants

Three Chinese brothers tried to migrate into America. The first brother was name Bu, the second was name Chu and the third was called Fu. Bu changed his name to Buck, Chu changed his name to Chuck and Fu got sent back to China.

Deer Hunter

A hunter was stalking a deer on the ridge across from him when he noticed the deer was somewhat wobbly and seemed to be squinting. Looking carefully through his rifle scope, he soon realized that the big buck was standing in the middle of a patch of marijuana, happily chewing away. Taking careful aim, he successfully downed the deer with a perfect shot. Unfortunately, it took him the rest of the day to navigate the rocky ravine and get across to his prize. By the time he got there, two vultures had started to work on the carcass, but due to the effects of the cannabis-tainted meat, they were high as kites. So, apparently.....he stoned two birds with one kill.

Three legged Pig

A traveling salesman trying to make a buck was driving through the plains of Nebraska when he decided to stop at a farmhouse coming up on his left.
As he was walking up the driveway toward the front door of the house, a pig with three legs caught his eye. It was just hobbling through the grass.
When the farmer answered the door and asked what he was selling, the salesman first asked about the three legged pig.
"That pig is the most amazing pig in the land, son." The farmer said
"Last year, our house caught fire when we were all asleep and that pig ran in and woke us all up one by one and saved our lives!"
The salesman was surprised. "That is one special pig" He said.
The Farmer replied, "That's not all. Last summer, that pig jumped into the pond and dragged my drowning son to safety. He would have died."
The salesman was in disbelief as to how incredible this pig was. "One question. Why does he have 3 legs, is it from the fire?" He asked
"No son, ya see, a pig like that you just don't eat all at one time."

What's the different between beer nuts and deer nuts?

One of them is a dollar fifty and the other is just under a buck.

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.79. Deer nuts are just under a buck

Three Chinese brothers

Bu, Chu and Fu came to America to live their American dream.
Bu changed his name to Buck, went into banking and became very rich.
Chu changed his name to Chuck, got a car dealership and also became rich.
Fu decided to go back to China.

Which is the better deal, YouTube Red or PornHub Premium?

PornHub Premium; you get far more bang for your buck.

Did you hear about the hunter who traded a prize deer for a high class prostitute?

He got the best bang for his buck

what do hookers and guns have in common?

the customer wants the most bang for their buck.

My new bucket really does its job well.

My old one pails in comparison.

I got kicked out of a brothel for breaking the "no pets" rule...

I was just trying to get more bang for my buck.

Man, I sure am mad about the rising bullet prices...

Now I get less bang for my buck!

Three brothers moved to America from China.

The brothers names were Chu, Bu, and Fu. These brothers decided they wanted more American sounding names so they went to City Hall to change them.

Chu decided to go by Chuck, Bu decided to go by Buck, and Fu went back to China.

How much would a pirate sell corn for?

About a buck an ear.

3 Animals Feast

A duck, a skunk, and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay;
The skunk didn't have a scent,
The deer didn't have a buck,
So they put the meal on the duck's bill

I patented a new bullet that will kill 2 deer at once

You get more buck for your bang!

Ethiopian jokes I've heard from over the years.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?

A rake

What do you call 10 Ethiopians carrying a canoe over their heads?

A comb

What do you call an Ethiopian with a club foot?

A gulf club.

Three chinese emigrate to USA

Bu, Lu and Fu from China goes to America, but in order to get around easier, they decide to Americanize their names. Thus, Bu becomes Buck, Lu becomes Luck, and Fu...well, he goes back to China.

There once was a family of 5 from China.

Their names were Hu, Fu, Bu, Su and Chu. They wanted to move to the USA so they had to americanize their names. Hu became Huck, Bu became Buck, and Chu became Chuck. Fu and Su stayed in China.

Deer nuts are always the same price worldwide....

Always under a buck! lol


My 11 year old son told me this joke today and thought I'd share with everyone.

Hitting a deer with your car is always an unfair trade.

You're out the cost of the insurance deductible, but nature is only out a buck.

A mathematician, a physicist, and a statistician all go hunting.

After sitting quietly on a hillside for a few hours, they spot a buck in the field below.

The mathematician measures up his shot and does some rough calculations on bullet drop, then fires. He misses about 5 feet to the left.

The physicist says "you forgot to account for wind!" He lines up his shot, and over-corrects, missing by about 5 feet to the right.

They both look over at the statistician, who proclaims: "We hit him!"

What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny woman?

One is a phony buck...

What's the difference between a fake dollar bill and a skinny prostitute?

One's a phony buck

I prefer cheap brothels.

They provide the most bang for your buck.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter....

Jill came down with two fifty.

Why did Sarah name her pet Fawn 99 Cents?

Because it wasn't big enough to be a Buck.

What do you call a cheap stripper?

Buck naked

A Physicist and an Engineer take turns shooting at a deer.

An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. They spot a buck, and each takes a turn to try and bag it.

The physicist goes first. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer.

The engineer goes second. He pulls out his engineer's pad and a book of projectile assumptions. After a few minutes he's ready, he takes aim, and he fires. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer.

The statistician leaps in the air shouting, "We got it!"

How much money does it cost to make Captain America cry?

One buck

My dentist offered to give me dentures for only a dollar.

It sounded like a good deal at the time, but now I have buck teeth.

What do you get from a dollar-an-hour hooker?

A lot of bang for your buck.

What does the buck call his wife?

Deer.

Three chinese men applied for citizenship in USA

They were accepted on the condition that they changed their names.

Bu became Buck.
Chu became Chuck.
And Fu went back to China.

I've always liked prostitutes...

Personally, I feel like they give me the most bang for the buck.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes