Howlingly Hilarious Buck Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
what do h**... and guns have in common?
the customer wants the most bang for their buck.
Fiddy Cent just had a kid.
They named him after his father but adjusted for inflation. They call him Buck Fiddy.
Chinese Immigrants
Three Chinese brothers tried to migrate into America. The first brother was name Bu, the second was name Chu and the third was called Fu. Bu changed his name to Buck, Chu changed his name to Chuck and Fu got sent back to China.
How much do pirates pay for earrings?
Somewhere around a buck an ear.
How much did the pirate spend on his earings?
A buck an ear.
Ethiopian jokes I've heard from over the years.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?
A rake
What do you call 10 Ethiopians carrying a canoe over their heads?
A comb
What do you call an Ethiopian with a club foot?
A gulf club.
A guy with a wooden eye goes to a dance.
He searches the room for a lady ugly enough to dance with someone like himself. He spots one with jutting buck-teeth. He asks, "Will you dance with me?" She replies excitedly, "Would I!?" He angrily yells back at her, "BUCK TEETH!"
A cute one I heard from a friend at work.
Three animals walk into a bar; A duck,a skunk and a deer. They go up to the bar and order 3 drinks. "5 dollars" Says the bartender. The deer looks at the duck and says "I don't have a buck to my name!" the skunk cries "I have no money, not even a scent!" but the duck says to the bartender "It's alright, just put it on my bill".
what's the difference between a normal consumer and a p**...?
A normal consumer aims to get the most bang for their buck. A p**... aims to get the most buck for their bang.
How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn?
A buck an ear
What are the cheapest kind of nuts?
Deer nuts, they're under a buck.
You can explore buck hogs reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean buck hundred bucks dad jokes. There are also buck puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How much do pirates charge for piercings?
A buck an ear.
A bucket goes to the doctor
The bucket was feeling ill, and decided to go to a physician.
The doctor, seeing as this was a new patient, asked him, "tell me about yourself first."
"Well, I can hold about 1/2 a gallon of liquid. I'm 3 years old, and I have to tell you, I feel pretty under the weather."
The doctor replied, "I can tell. You seem to be a little pail."
There's 3 chinese brothers...
Bu, Chu, and Fu and they want to illgally sneak into America. So they decide to change their names to sound more American. Bu, changes his to Buck. Chu, changes his to Chuck. And Fu, got sent back to China.
What do you get with legalized prostitution and a highly competitive marketplace?
The best bang for your buck.
I s**... at sports events
It's a good way to make a quick buck.
Three Chinese went to America..
Three Chinese named Chu, Bu, and Fu went to America.
Upon reaching there they decided to Americanise their names.
So Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck..
And Fu decided to return to China.
Did you hear about the hunter who traded a prize deer for a high class p**...?
He got the best bang for his buck
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buck an ear
How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A buck 'n ear
What is the cheapest meat?
Deer t**....
They're under a Buck.
Once, a bucket of Sodium Hydroxide slipped out of Skrillex's hands.
He dropped the base.
My new bucket really does its job well.
My old one pails in comparison.
How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark's parents?
Just one buck.
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck...
I'll see myself out now.
Man, I sure am mad about the rising bullet prices...
Now I get less bang for my buck!
A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States
Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.
Chu became Chuck.
Bu became Buck.
Hu became Huck.
Su and Fu decided to stay in China.
I got kicked out of a brothel for breaking the "no pets" rule...
I was just trying to get more bang for my buck.
Once, there was 3 chinese people who wanted to go to America.
Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change me name to Buck, adding c**... to the end." Chu then said, "then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."
A duck, a deer, a skunk and an elephant are sitting in a bar
The end of the night rolls around and the waitress asks who is going to pay the tab.
The duck says that he can't pay because he only has one bill.
The deer says that she had a buck on her last night, but won't have any doe until spring.
The skunk says he can't pay because he only has one scent.
Finally, the elephant says "It's okay boys, the highballs are on me!"
I went to a brothel that took deer as payment
They described it as the best bang for your buck
Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts
Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.
I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars.
But nature is only out a buck.
Which is the better deal, YouTube Red or PornHub Premium?
PornHub Premium; you get far more bang for your buck.
Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States
In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China
Three Chinese brothers
Bu, Chu and Fu came to America to live their American dream.
Bu changed his name to Buck, went into banking and became very rich.
Chu changed his name to Chuck, got a car dealership and also became rich.
Fu decided to go back to China.
Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.
One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.
What's the different between beer nuts and deer nuts?
One of them is a dollar fifty and the other is just under a buck.
What is cheaper? Deer nuts or beer nuts?
Deer nuts, because they are always under a buck.
I walked into a store and noticed they were selling deer nuts for $1.25
Every other time I've seen them, they were under a buck.
3 Animals Feast
A duck, a skunk, and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay;
The skunk didn't have a scent,
The deer didn't have a buck,
So they put the meal on the duck's bill
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.79. Deer nuts are just under a buck
ME: I trained this chicken to talk.
HER: Let's hear then.
ME: What's a male deer called?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies worth?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
HER: This is dumb.
CHICKEN: It gets way better, Susan.
How much did it cost HYDRA to kill Tony Stark's parents?
One Buck.
A buck wearing a robe and clutching a bible was found dead near a rural highway...
The person who found the animal exclaimed "Deer Lord" upon its discovery.
I just opened a deer cloning business...
It's for anyone looking to make a quick buck.
So, I trained a chicken to talk
WIFE: Well, let's see
ME: What's a male deer?
CHICKEN: Buck
ME: How much is 200 pennies?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
WIFE: This is s**.... Chickens just make that sound
ME: Oh believe me it gets better
CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts usually are about $1-$2, but you can usually find deer nuts under a buck.
I am selling my username.
It's just under a buck.
Whats the best way to get a quick buck
By teaching a deer to run
I bought a used Lamborghini cheap with hopes of making a quick buck. My friend offered to flip it for me.
He was as good as his word. The f**... is Thursday.
What do you call a p**... with low prices?
More bang for your buck
Did you know, the cheapest type of meat you can purchase is a deers b**...?
Its because they're under a buck
What do you call a cheap p**... who does her job well?
A good bang for your buck
What will the dentist give you for $1?
Buck teeth!
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
One is $3.99, the other is under a buck.
What's the difference between Walnuts and Deer nuts?
Walnuts are $2.95 Deer nuts are under a buck. :DD
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.
An engineer, a carpenter, and a statistian go deer hunting
As they wait in their blind a big buck walks up. The engineer stands up, takes a shot, and misses. "Darn," he says, "two yards to the left."
The carpenter takes a shot and misses. "darn, two yards to the right," he says.
The statistician jumps up and yells "YES! We got him!"
I've been breeding racing deer
Just trying to make a quick buck
Who wants to buy my account?
It's just under a buck.
Average joke
3 teachers, Science, Auto shop, and Mathematics, go hunting together over their winter vacation. They come across an enormous 6 point buck. The science teacher who saw it first takes aim. He fires and misses by 3 feet to left. The auto shop teacher shoulders him asside and says, " this is how you do it!". He fires and misses 3 feet to the right. The math teacher jumps up and Screams, "we got him!".
Why do chickens make good dollar store employees?
Whenever you ask them the price they say "Buck buck buck buuuuuuck,"
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He saw a sign that said "Chicken strips for a buck"!
My boss went deer hunting. He winged a buck but ended up losing the trail.
I messaged him oh deer, that must have been stag-gering when you fawned out you didnt get it .
The cheapest meat is deer b**...
They're under a buck!!!
What is the cheapest meat?
It's deer b**... they're always under a buck.
What's the cheapest meat you can buy?
Deer b**.... Their under a buck.
Three drunks enter a taxi
the driver immediately notices that they were drunk, and decided to make a quick buck out of them.
When they entered the car, he drove 100 meters, made a turn and told them that they arrived at their destination.
The first one thanks the driver and leaves. The second thanks him, give him money and then leaves. The third realizes that something was wrong and slaps the driver as hard as he could.
The driver looks at him and asks: "the h**... is wrong with you?!", to which the drunk guy replies: "don't you ever drive that fast again!"
What's the cheapest nuts you can buy?
What's the cheapest nuts you can buy?
Deer nuts. They are just under a buck
A skunk, a deer and a duck went out to dinner…
When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent and the deer didn't have a buck, so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
A duck, a deer and a giraffe walk into a bar.
They order three shots of whiskey. They drink those down and order three more. Again, they drink those down and then get up to leave.
Bartender says, "Someone has got to pay for those!"
Duck said, "I've only got a bill."
Deer says, "I've only a buck."
Giraffe goes, "Okay guys, I guess I've got the highballs."
A statistics joke...
Three statisticians go deer hunting with bows. They see a giant buck in the woods. Statistician #1 fires his arrow--it goes 10 yards to the left. Statistician #2 fires his arrow--it goes 10 yards to the right. Statistician #3 throws down his bow and yells, "We got it!"
a Chicken drives up to a gas station.
Fuels up and goes to pay. Clerk: That'll be 80 bucks. Chicken sighs, clears his t**... and starts: Buck... Buck..
Why did the doe become a p**...?
So she could make a buck.
If I got a buck for every deer joke that I've told...
I'd have a lot of doe...
Why was Santa looking to buy a doe with a high l**...?
He wanted to get more bang for his buck.
3 friends from China immigrated to the US
3 Chinese guys Bu, Chu and Fu, who were friends since childhood moved to US for work.
For their names being Chinese, they weren't getting shortlisted for interviews.
A guys suggested them to Americanise their names.
When they asked how.
He suggested add something to your existing names so it ends with "c**...".
So Bu became Buck.
Chu became Chuck.
And Fu went back to China.
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician go hunting...
The three see a buck a little distance away.
The physicist makes a quick, back-of-the-envelope calculation, assuming an ideal bullet and neglecting wind resistance, and then fires. The bullet lands 10 meters in front of the buck.
The engineer has been doing his own calculations, adding in wind resistance and adding a fudge factor to include wind variations, Coriolis forces, and other, unknown variables. He fires, and the round lands 10 meters behind the buck.
The statistician jumps up and yells, "We got him!"
How much did it cost the pirate to have his ears pierced?
A buck an ear
