buck Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious buck puns

What is the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls, they're under a buck.


What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck...

I'll see myself out now.


I'm definitely the loser if I run over a deer. It's going to cost me hundreds of dollars.

But nature is only out a buck.


What is the cheapest meat?

Deer testicles.

They're under a Buck.


Whats the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts

Beer nuts are $1.50 a lb. And deer nuts are under a buck.


2 Dirty Jokes as told to me by a homeless guy.

If a guy with a foot fetish cheats on his wife, would you say *he got off on the wrong foot?*

**and** (no offense meant to all the women out there, I swear!)

You know why god invented the yeast infection? So that women would also know what it's like to live with a miserable cunt!

A little vulgar, I know. But it was worth the buck I gave him!


Fu, Bu and Chu are three Chinese men.

One day, they decided to move to the USA.
They also decided to change their names, as to not be discriminated against.
Chu changed his name to Chuck.
Bu changed his name to Buck.
And Fu decided to go back to China.


A cute one I heard from a friend at work.

Three animals walk into a bar; A duck,a skunk and a deer. They go up to the bar and order 3 drinks. "5 dollars" Says the bartender. The deer looks at the duck and says "I don't have a buck to my name!" the skunk cries "I have no money, not even a scent!" but the duck says to the bartender "It's alright, just put it on my bill".


Whats the cheapest type of meat?

Deer balls, they are under a buck


Bubba and his three brothers Billy, Buck and Bob were driving their brand new truck one morning.

Suddenly they were rear ended by an old man. Furious, they pulled over and were about to beat the shit out of him.

Man - "Hold on, this is unfair. There are four of you and I'm just a weak old man."

Bubba - "You're right. Billy and Bob, you two fight on his side to make it even."

Buck - "But now it's three vs. two."

Bob - "You go home old man, we'll sort this out."


How much do pirates charge for piercings?

A buck an ear.


Fiddy Cent just had a kid.

They named him after his father but adjusted for inflation. They call him Buck Fiddy.


A Chinese family of 5 decided to immigrate to the United States

Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu were told that in order to get a visa, they would have to Americanize their names.

Chu became Chuck.

Bu became Buck.

Hu became Huck.

Su and Fu decided to stay in China.


What are the cheapest kind of nuts?

Deer nuts, they're under a buck.


I suck at sports events

It's a good way to make a quick buck.


How much do pirates pay for earrings?

Somewhere around a buck an ear.


How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buck an ear


Three Chinese friends, Chu, Bu and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United States

In order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu decided to travel back to China


A guy with a wooden eye goes to a dance.

He searches the room for a lady ugly enough to dance with someone like himself. He spots one with jutting buck-teeth. He asks, "Will you dance with me?" She replies excitedly, "Would I!?" He angrily yells back at her, "BUCK TEETH!"


How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck 'n ear


Three Chinese went to America..

Three Chinese named Chu, Bu, and Fu went to America.

Upon reaching there they decided to Americanise their names.

So Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck..

And Fu decided to return to China.


How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark's parents?

Just one buck.


What do you get with legalized prostitution and a highly competitive marketplace?

The best bang for your buck.


A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Su and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.

In order to get a visa, they have to Americanize their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Su and Fu decided to stay in China


A duck, a deer, a skunk and an elephant are sitting in a bar

The end of the night rolls around and the waitress asks who is going to pay the tab.

The duck says that he can't pay because he only has one bill.

The deer says that she had a buck on her last night, but won't have any doe until spring.

The skunk says he can't pay because he only has one scent.

Finally, the elephant says "It's okay boys, the highballs are on me!"


A little boy gets on the public bus and sits right behind the bus driver

A little boy gets on the public bus and sits right behind the bus driver. The boy keeps repeatedly saying," If my mom was a cow and my dad was a bull, I'd be a little calf. If my mom was a hen and my dad was a chicken, I'd be a little chick. If my mom was a deer and my dad was a buck, I'd be a little deer. If my mom was a duck and my dad was a goose, I'd be a little duckling." The bus annoyed bus driver stops the bus and turns to the boy saying, "What if your mom was a drunk and you dad was a bum?" The boy responds, "Then I'd be a bus driver."


Once, there was 3 chinese people who wanted to go to America.

Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change me name to Buck, adding ck to the end." Chu then said, "then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."


A beautiful woman loves to garden, but can't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red...

She asks her neighbor, "What do you do to get your tomatoes to turn such a bright red?"

He replies, "Twice a day, I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. They turn red from blushing so much."

The woman decides to do the same thing.

So twice a day, for two weeks, she stands buck naked in her garden.

Her neighbor asks, "How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?"

"No," she replies, "but you should see the size of my cucumbers! They're enormous!"


How much did the pirate spend on his earings?

A buck an ear.


The City-Slicker and the Farmer

One year, a man who lived in the city decided to try his hand at deer hunting. He bought all the the necessary equipment, a license, and a rifle and headed out to the gamelands a good distance away from the city.

After a full day's hunting, the man spots a gorgeous buck and manages to make a clean shot. The deer runs for awhile and drops dead right in a farmer's yard. When the man goes to retrieve the deer the farmer meets him and claims that the deer is now his because it's on his land. "What are you talking about?! It took me all day to take this buck!"

The farmer looks at the man, who is obviously from the city. "Tell you what. We'll compete for it. We'll take turns kicking each other in the nuts until one of us gives up. The winner gets the deer." The man, not wanting to go home empty handed, timidly agrees.

The farmer immediately hauls back and lands a kick right in the man's groin, collapsing him. The man writhes in pain on the ground for about a minute and slowly stands up. "Okay, my turn."

The farmer says, "Nah that's ok. You can have the deer." He turns around and walks back into his house.


What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and is getting banged by a buck?

**Still fucking no idea.**


There's 3 chinese brothers...

Bu, Chu, and Fu and they want to illgally sneak into America. So they decide to change their names to sound more American. Bu, changes his to Buck. Chu, changes his to Chuck. And Fu, got sent back to China.


What does a bucket of KFC and a whore have in common?

After you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.


So B.B. King's wife decides to get him something special for his birthday....

Blues guitar legend B.B. King's wife goes into a tattoo parlor and wants to get B.B. something special for his birthday. She decides to get his initials tattooed on her body. To be even more special, she gets one "B" on her left buttcheek and the other "B" on the right buttcheek.

Later that night after his show, he walks in the front door. There his wife is standing, buck naked, spreading out her ass, showing off her new tattoo.

He looks at her and asks, "Who's BOB?"

**thought this would be appropriate in regards to all the "bad tattoo" threads on the front page...


How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn?

A buck an ear


What are the most funny Buck jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Buck? Well, here are the best Buck dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Buck pick up lines to share with friends.

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