The Best 20 Brutus Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Brutus jokes. There are some brutus antony jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these brutus violins puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Brutus Jokes and Puns

Julius Caesar: Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?

Brutus: Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's.

Julius Caesar and Marcus Brutus are at the airport

Brutus: Which is our boarding gate Caesar?
Caesar: A-2 Brutus

Brutus: And what time is the flight Caesar?
Caesar: 8:02 Brutus

Brutus: By the way, I have sandwiches. Do you want one Caesar?
Caesar: Ate two Brutus

Brutus: This is an unusual paper size for a ticket. What size is it Caesar?
Caesar: A2 Brutus

Brutus (Thinking to himself): This man is really getting on my nerves. One of these days I'm going to have to kill him

So when are we going to kill Caesar?

At two, Brutus.

Brutus joke, So when are we going to kill Caesar?

Did you know that Brutus killed Caeser over a game of Battleship?

Caeser's final words were: "E-2, Brute?"

Read this on an anniversary special edition of Reader's Digest

Julius Caesar was coming out of a fast food restaurant when Brutus bumped into him and asked,"How are the burgers, Julius?

Julius replied, "Ate two, Brute!"

What did Brutus say when Caesar ask him to do something

I'll take a stab at it

Caesar and Brutus are playing battleships.

A2, Brute?

Brutus joke, Caesar and Brutus are playing battleships.

Went to a restaurant with Brutus

He wasn't keen on the Caesar. But he still et tu.

Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey

Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?

Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...

Brutus: I ate 2 slices.


Julius Caesar and Brutus are having a conversation

Brutus asks: How many apples did you eat last night?

Julius responds: Et two, Brute.

How does Brutus eat his salad?

With a knife and Caesar dressing.

You can explore brutus vici reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean brutus deb dad jokes. There are also brutus puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Me and my friend Brutus were going to go on vacation...

...but he backstabbed me and went with someone else.
Happy Ides of March!

What did Ceasars say, when he wanted to go mountain climbing?


What did the roman tattoo artist said to his best friend when he entered the studio?

A tattoo, Brutus?

Caesar and Brutus decided to have lunch together.

They meet in front of the restaurant and Caesar sees a big knife in Brutus' hand.

β€žWhy do you have a knife with you? he asks.

Brutus answers: β€žit's for the salad later

A waiter asked me if I would try their new "Brutus dressing" with my caesar salad.

I declined, telling him that I thought the dressing backstabbed the whole meal.

Brutus joke, A waiter asked me if I would try their new "Brutus dressing" with my caesar salad.

Wait, which one's my seat again?

(At the Roman Theatre)

Brutus: Wait, which one's my seat again?

Julius (sighs) : A2, Brute.


A2, Brute?

(At the Roman Theatre)

Brutus: Wait, which one's my seat again?

Julius (sighs) : A2, Brute.

Brutus asked Caesar, "How many pieces of pizza have you eaten?"

"Ate two, Brute."

Brutus: "What time is it?"

Caesar: "8:02 Brute"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the brutus ate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working brutus cleopatra piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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