Brushing Teeth Jokes
103 brushing teeth jokes and hilarious brushing teeth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brushing teeth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Brushing Teeth Short Jokes
Short brushing teeth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brushing teeth humour may include short brush your teeth jokes also.
- Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works better.
- You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.
- Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? Anywhere else and it would have been called a teeth brush.
- TIL the tooth brush was invented in Kentucky... Anywhere else and it would be called a teeth brush.
- A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says "don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."
- How to tell someone they have a bad breath nicely ? "Oh boy I am bored lets brush our teeth"
- My mom was always obsessed with dental hygiene... ...she would always take her electric toothbrush to bed and brush her teeth all night!
- I was so busy with maths homework that I didn't brush my teeth for a week The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.
- I've been getting anonymous texts from someone telling me to shower, comb my hair & brush my teeth. I think they may be trying to groom me.
- A Game Dev wakes up, brushes their teeth, gets dressed, grabs their keys and walks out of the door Map Failed to Load
Share These Brushing Teeth Jokes With Friends
Brushing Teeth One Liners
Which brushing teeth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brushing teeth? I can suggest the ones about flossing teeth and brush teeth.
- I tell ya, my wife is a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count 'em!
- Why does donkey Kong brush his teeth? To prevent tooth DK.
- Why do protesters refuse to brush their teeth? Because plaque lives matter.
- Why do all methheads have bad teeth? They only brush them before sleeping
- I hate people who don't brush their teeth. They're a plaque on society.
- I'm religious about brushing my teeth. I do it twice a year on Christmas and Easter.
- How come Link never brushes his teeth? He wants breath of the wild.
- I told the dentist I was concerned about the buildup on my teeth He just brushed it off.
- What does a gorilla brush his teeth with? A toothbrush.
- Most people don't clean their teeth properly They just brush past them
- What does the Night's King brush his teeth with? Wightening toothpaste.
- What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed? Brush their teeth!
- What does a gypsy lose when he brushes his teeth? 5kg/11lb of plaque.
- What do read heads get when they don't brush their teeth? Gingervitis
- A lot of people say negative things about my teeth I normally just brush it off
Hilarious Brushing Teeth Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about brushing teeth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toothbrush jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brushing teeth pranks.
Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.
After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"
"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"
"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist.
"Preparation H," said the r**....
A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days
He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then s**... off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge
A woman gets up in the morning.
She enters the bathroom, brushes her teeth, gets dressed and finally steps onto the weighing scale.
She looks down to see the results, and suddenly starts screaming happily.
"HONEY, I've lost 6kg since yesterday!", she yells.
The husband looks up from his newspaper and answers:
"Don't be so surprised, you haven't put on your make up yet!"
How do you know a r**... invented the tooth brush?
We would have called it a teeth brush
Little Johnny and two p**....
Little Johnny went to school and the teacher was teaching human anatomy. She pointed to the private part of a male and asked her class if anyone knew what it was.
Little Johnny raised his hand: "I do, I do! and my daddy has two of them!" Teacher was puzzled.
"My daddy has a small one to pee with and a long one to brush my mom's teeth with!"
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."
To improve control of my off hand, my coach told me to start using it to brush my teeth..
It worked! My dexterity and hand-eye coordination improved immensely! Now if I could just do something about these cavities.
Hey, will you settle an argument i'm having with my friend? He says he brushes his tongue when he's brushing his teeth...
*
**you:** Yeah, so he says he brushes his tongue! do you do that?
**unsuspecting mark:** uh, yeah, i definitely do that, it's an important part of dental hygiene!
**you:** really? you brush your tongue? how do you even do that?
**unsuspecting mark:** like this! *
So this guy is eating out his wife...
So this guy is eating out his wife 69 style. Everything is going great until he realizes the time.
G: '**..., I'm gonna be late to the dentist!''
So the couple stops immediately and the guy heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth thouroughly.
The guy arrives at the dentist and the dentist begins doing his thing.
After about 15 minutes or so, the dentist starts giggling.
D: ''You were eating out someone earlier weren't you... 69 style?''
The guy quickly checks his breath and it smells minty fresh.
G: ''WHAT!? How did you know! You even got the position right!''
D: ''Because your forehead smells like a**...''
Your mother is so n**...
If she brushed her teeth she would have to call 911 to get a blood transfusion.
What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush?
You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.
Why africans dont brush the teeth?
Cuz need to eat to brush the teeth!
The best part of vacation is not having to brush your teeth!
A very old couple is getting ready for bed
The man goes to the bathroom. His wife asks him: "What are you doing?". He replied: "Brushing my teeth". She asks him: "Can you please brush mine too?"
Sorry grandma!!
Why does Wiz Khalifa brush his teeth?
Plaque and yellow, plaque and yellow, plaque and yellow.
So the other day in calculus we were talking about concavity
I asked if that's why prisoners brush their teeth
I hate having to brush my teeth in the morning.
I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth.
What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.
I couldn't tell if I brushed my teeth with tooth paste or shamoo last night
I hope it was the former, not the lather.
What happens if you game so much you forget to brush your teeth?
You get Halo-tosis.
:-/
You better brush your teeth everyday...
o**...-B very mad!
I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste
so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding.
Mom, why can't I brush my teeth with my left hand?
Because you have no arms, Bob. Now go to sleep.
Christmas Day accident
Grandpa woke up unusually early yesterday to celebrate Christmas with the family. He was half asleep still when went to the restroom to brush his teeth. In the early morning brain fog, he accidentally got his Polident mixed up with his Preparation H.
His gums aren't itching, but now, he can't get his underwear off!
Georgia and Alabama hate each other
Really we have very similar jokes for each other. In Georgia we say that we know the tooth brush was invented in Alabama because if it was invented anywhere else it'd be called a teeth brush. In Alabama they say that we sure have some strange uses for those grout cleaners.
Guess this activity: Something long and hard inserted into a wet hole. In and out it goes until white goo came dripping out from the wet hole.
Brushing your teeth.
You better start brushing your teeth, son!
o**...-B very mad!
What's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed?
Nephew: Brushing your teeth!
Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.
Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!
Why did the chemist wear gloves to brush his teeth?
His mouth was 4 molar
Post your favorite nerd chem jokes!
Ever brush your teeth by accident with diaper cream?
No, well be careful I heard there's been a rash of incidents.
s**... random OC
Yesterday as usual we brushed our teeth and I kissed my wife good night. After the kiss..
Wife: Are you an ox?
Me: What?
Wife: You smell "Oxy" Clean
:|
I was abducted a few years ago. I was taken aboard a ship
where they made me brush my teeth three times a day, wash behind my ears and eat all my greens I think I was on the mothership.
When you brush your teeth, which side do you usually start on?
I like to brush my teeth while I take my morning p**....
I call it taking a number tooth.
Ghandi spent a lot of time fasting in his life, which made him thin and frail. He chose not to wear shoes often, so when he walked, he toughened up his feet. Rarely did he brush his teeth.
That makes him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Do you brush your teeth without making a mess like in the commercials?
I usually look like I have minty fresh rabies…
If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.
However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️
If you wanna win the Champions League, always remember to brush your teeth
Else you'll get Karius.
What do you call a Russian brushing their teeth?
A brussian.
Why did the s**... cell cross the road?
Your mother forgot to brush her teeth this morning.
Ghandi was a what?
So we all know how Ghandi was a wonderful person and a pioneer in the non violent protest movement. But there are some facets of his life that add up to a very rare diagnosis.
First of all, he walked everywhere barefoot which made his feet very tough.
Secondly his diet was completely void of calcium sources which led to osteoporosis.
He was also a very spiritual man., and some might say he had supernatural powers.
Lastly, and probably the least known trivia about him was he abhorred brushing his teeth.
When his attending physician was asked for a summary of his health, the answer was none too obvious.
—-
He's a super calloused fragile mystic with n**... halitosis.
A female friend of mine told me that i should act more like a knight
So i stopped showering, brushing my teeth and i r**... her
A boy asks his mom, When I grow up will I have two p**... like daddy?
Mom: Daddy doesn't have two p**... son
Son: Sure he does! He has the little one he uses to pee and the big one he uses to brush the babysitter's teeth!
My friend got an award for not brushing his teeth for a year.
He said it was worth it for the plaque.
I can't believe they put fluoride in our water
and I still have to brush my teeth every day!
Oh you're going to study? Nerd...
I bet you brush your teeth twice a day too.
A boy accidentally used f**... wash to brush his teeth.
But it's his face that turned pinkish white.
Don't waste time brushing your teeth when you are young.
Simply put your dentures in the dishwasher when you're older.
Accidentally brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid cream
...but at least my a**... smells minty fresh
What do you call the activity where you insert a hairy rod in your mouth and at the end you spit out a white liquid?
Brushing your teeth.
Feminist brushes her teeth...
The toothbrush r**... her!!😲🤤😢😭
What does my s**... life and me brushing my teeth have in common?
I always lie about it being 2 minutes
I'm glad I'm not gay.
Not for any homophobic reasons or because I'm afraid of persecution. It's just that I gag when I brush my teeth too hard, and I feel like that would be a bigger problem if I were gay.
How do you know the Tooth Brush was invented in West Virginia?
If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a Teeth Brush.
My wife said she found my first gray hair, but I didn't believe her for the longest time. Then when I was brushing my teeth this morning I saw it in the mirror, on the left side of my mustache.
It was right under my nose this whole time.
Kanye West
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he'll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest.
For past 10 years my wife has been complaining to me about not putting the cap back on the toothpaste...
On our anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.
For a week I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.
I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.
Finally, last night she turned and looked at me and said:
Why did you stop brushing your teeth ?? !!!
A person gets hit by a bicycle.
So this person wakes up, as usual, to get ready to go to work. They do their normal routine: brush teeth, eat breakfast, get dressed, etc... On their way to work, they get hit by a bicycle.
The next day, the same thing happens. Get ready for work, leave, get hit by a bicycle. This goes on for weeks.
It was a vicious cycle.
What do we know about Gandhi?
Well, he walked barefoot and was a vegetarian.. he ate very little and practiced yoga, and was a minimalist who likely didn't brush his teeth either, giving him bad breath.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
I finally got to go to the dentist for the first time since the pandemic started…
The doctor was shocked at how clean my teeth were but said my breath smelled like s**... and he couldn't figure out why.
He asked if I'd been brushing regularly and I said yes.
He asked if I flossed regularly and I said as much as I normally do.
He asked if I changed my diet and I told him it was the same as it always was.
After sitting there for a moment, he looks at me and asks:
Doctor: Is there anything that's changed?
Me: Well…I did get a bidet and I haven't quite figured out the water pressure.