Brush Jokes

143 brush jokes and hilarious brush puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brush that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is all about Brush Jokes while taking a look at the different types of brushes available. From Basil Brush to sweep cleaning brushes, we cover the best brush jokes that your family will love. We also investigate how to properly brush your teeth with a brush as well as other helpful tips. Learn more about cleaning dirt with a dustpan and dirt extraction. Get ready for some fun!

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Funniest Brush Short Jokes

Short brush jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brush humour may include short paint jokes also.

  1. Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works better.
  2. You can tell the toothbrush was invented in Alabama if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teeth brush.
  3. I bought a toilet brush since I saw one in pretty much everyone's bathroom... but after giving it a try for a week I decided to go back to using toilet paper.
  4. Did you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? Anywhere else and it would have been called a teeth brush.
  5. A woman tells her friend: "Hey, yesterday I bought a toilet brush". Her friend replied: "Alright, so?"
    Her: Well I think its great invention, but I'd much rather use toilet paper.
  6. My wife bought a toilet brush. I tried it. Too rough. I'm going back to using toilet paper.
  7. I used to brag to my grandson about how many girls I picked up at auschwitz. He said it doesn't count since I used a dust pan and brush.
  8. TIL the tooth brush was invented in Kentucky... Anywhere else and it would be called a teeth brush.
  9. A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says "don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."
  10. Teacher: So what's your sentence that contains the word contagious? Student: our neighbour is painting a wall with 2 inch brush, my dad says it will take this contagious.

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Brush One Liners

Which brush one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brush? I can suggest the ones about wipe and lashes.

  1. I tell ya, my wife is a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count 'em!
  2. Why does donkey Kong brush his teeth? To prevent tooth DK.
  3. Just helped a cop sweep up some broken glass. That was my first brush with the law.
  4. Why do protesters refuse to brush their teeth? Because plaque lives matter.
  5. I just had a brush with Death Is it weird to name your toothbrush?
  6. I once insulted an artist about his bad painting He just brushed it off.
  7. Why do all methheads have bad teeth? They only brush them before sleeping
  8. I hate people who don't brush their teeth. They're a plaque on society.
  9. A Polish guy bought a toilet brush.. three days later he went back to paper..
  10. I'm religious about brushing my teeth. I do it twice a year on Christmas and Easter.
  11. How come Link never brushes his teeth? He wants breath of the wild.
  12. What does a bee use to brush his hair? A honeycomb
  13. The Grim Reaper and I used to share sweeping duties. I had a brush with Death.
  14. I told the dentist I was concerned about the buildup on my teeth He just brushed it off.
  15. Why couldn't the bee brush its hair? Because it had honey in it's comb.

Brush Your Teeth Jokes

Here is a list of funny brush your teeth jokes and even better brush your teeth puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How to tell someone they have a bad breath nicely ? "Oh boy I am bored lets brush our teeth"
  • My mom was always obsessed with dental hygiene... ...she would always take her electric toothbrush to bed and brush her teeth all night!
  • I was so busy with maths homework that I didn't brush my teeth for a week The calculus had built up, and it was starting to get quite hard.
  • I've been getting anonymous texts from someone telling me to shower, comb my hair & brush my teeth. I think they may be trying to groom me.
  • A Game Dev wakes up, brushes their teeth, gets dressed, grabs their keys and walks out of the door Map Failed to Load
  • I couldn't tell if I brushed my teeth with tooth paste or shamoo last night I hope it was the former, not the lather.
  • I hate having to brush my teeth in the morning. I must be the only person in the world with hairy teeth.
  • What does a gorilla brush his teeth with? A toothbrush.
  • Most people don't clean their teeth properly They just brush past them
  • Why did the chemist wear gloves to brush his teeth? His mouth was 4 molar
    Post your favorite nerd chem jokes!

Brush Teeth Jokes

Here is a list of funny brush teeth jokes and even better brush teeth puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush? You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.
  • My friend got an award for not brushing his teeth for a year. He said it was worth it for the plaque.
  • What does the Night's King brush his teeth with? Wightening toothpaste.
  • How do you know the Tooth Brush was invented in West Virginia? If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a Teeth Brush.
  • Accidentally brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid cream ...but at least my a**... smells minty fresh
  • Do you brush your teeth without making a mess like in the commercials? I usually look like I have minty fresh rabies…
  • I was abducted a few years ago. I was taken aboard a ship where they made me brush my teeth three times a day, wash behind my ears and eat all my greens I think I was on the mothership.
  • What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed? Brush their teeth!
  • What does a gypsy lose when he brushes his teeth? 5kg/11lb of plaque.
  • I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste so when I do brush my teeth, I can't tell how much my gums are bleeding.
Brush joke, I recently switched over to cinnamon flavored toothpaste

Paint Brush Jokes

Here is a list of funny paint brush jokes and even better paint brush puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Teacher: "OK Sarah, what's your sentence with contagious?" Student: "Our neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush and my dad said it will take the contagious."
  • What kind of brush should you use for a painting when you are out of ideas? A makeup brush
  • Have you heard of the artist that creates beautiful artwork by dipping his girlfriend in paint and dragging her across a canvas? He always paints with a broad brush.
  • How do you spot a misogynist artist? He paints women with a broad brush.
  • How does Bob Ross exorcise his paint brush? He beats the devil out of it.
  • My wife walked into the garage where I was sitting with brush in hand and can of black paint She yelled, "No you fool!! What I said to you was to remember to turn your clock back!!"
  • What does a paint brush eat for dinner? Bristoles!
  • How many polocks does it take to paint a house? 1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!
  • If you stab someone with a paint-brush, do you become a martial artist? Not sure if it's original but I thought it up 3 years ago work and I randomly remembered it.
  • A dad is painting his house with his son Son: "Dad, shouldn't you use a paint brush instead?"

Hair Brush Jokes

Here is a list of funny hair brush jokes and even better hair brush puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My daughter made this one up Why is my hair cost money? Because I just brushed it so it's knot free!!
  • Why did Princess Leia take so long to find her hair brush? She kept looking for it in Alderaan places.
  • My 7 year old daughter just told me this What do you watch when you're brushing my hair?
  • What did the head say to the brush? Comb over hair.
    My thanks to my niece who made this up. She is seven. Pretty good imo.
  • A joke my Uncle told me that I never understood when I was a child. Q: What does sinead O'Connor do after she finishes brushing her hair?
    A: She pulls her pants up
  • why couldn't the girl brush her hair ? Cause she had leukemia .
  • Why wouldn't the hippie brush their hair? They dreaded it!
  • Why doesn't Sean "P. Diddy" brush his hair? Because Sean "P. Diddy" Combs
  • How do bees brush their hair? With a honeycomb
  • Oops............. "Oops...", said the hedgehog, and then got off the hair brush.

Basil Brush Jokes

Here is a list of funny basil brush jokes and even better basil brush puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Basil Brush went to fill up his car with petrol. His phone suddenly went off... The petrol station went BOOM BOOM!
Brush joke, Basil Brush went to fill up his car with petrol. His phone suddenly went off...

Howlingly Hilarious Brush Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about brush you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean comb jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brush pranks.

Running from a bear...

A hiker surprises a large Grizzly in the woods. The Bruin gives chase and as the man crashed blindly through the brush, he suddenly finds himself standing on a precipice overlooking a deep canyon. The bear is nearly upon him when the man in desperation shouts to the heavens, "Lord, give this bear some religion!" At that moment the bear drops to his knees in earnest prayer, "Our heavenly Father, Thank you for this meal I'm about to receive..."

The Door Prize

Olie went to the neighborhood dance, and he won the big door prize. It was a toilet brush. So he took it home.
A few days later some friends of Olie asked him "Hey Olie how is that toilet brush working out for ya."
Olie said "Oh it works real good but I prefer toilet paper."

A man is sentenced to 15 years in prison, but escapes after only 3 days

He's taken in front of a judge, who orders the prisoner to explain his actions. The prisoner says "Well your honor, the first day, they gave me a comb, then s**... off all my hair. The second day, they gave me a tooth brush, then pulled out all my teeth. The third day, they gave me a jock strap, I went over the wall". "Case dismissed" declares the judge

What's do broccoli and p**... hair have in common?

You brush them both aside and keep on eating.

Paint it green

A young man shows up for a job at a large house and knocks on the front door. The owner opens the door and gives the young man a gallon of green paint and a brush and tells him to go out back and paint the "porch green." After a few hours the young man comes back and knocks on the front door. The owner opens the door and the young man says, "Sir, I'm done paintin', but that aint no porch you got out back, it's a Ferrari."

How do you know a r**... invented the tooth brush?

We would have called it a teeth brush

Little Johnny and two p**....

Little Johnny went to school and the teacher was teaching human anatomy. She pointed to the private part of a male and asked her class if anyone knew what it was.
Little Johnny raised his hand: "I do, I do! and my daddy has two of them!" Teacher was puzzled.
"My daddy has a small one to pee with and a long one to brush my mom's teeth with!"

So a man gets a job working as a highway stripe painter

The foreman gives the guy a paint brush and a fat bucket of paint and tells the dood where to paint and off the guy goes.
End of the first day the newbie comes back and tells the foreman he did 10 miles. "Outstanding!" The foreman says.
Second day newbie comes back to the shop at the end of the day and tells the foreman he's done 4 miles. 'Not impressive.' The foreman thinks.
End of the third day the newbie tells his foreman he did one mile. The foreman has to ask, "The first day you did 10 miles, the second day you did 4, and today you only accomplished one measly mile? What gives?"
"Well," The newbie says, "Every day the paint can gets farther and farther away.


"Right class," said the teacher. "Who can make a sentence with the word 'contagious'?"
Little Johnny threw up his hand excitedly.
"Yes, Johnny?"
"My dad saw our neighbour painting his fence with a little brush, and said, 'Blimey, that'll take the contageous!'"

How is parsley and p**... hair alike?

You just brush them off to the side and keep eating

How do you pick up a jew?

Dust pan and brush

A very old couple is getting ready for bed

The man goes to the bathroom. His wife asks him: "What are you doing?". He replied: "Brushing my teeth". She asks him: "Can you please brush mine too?"
Sorry grandma!!

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

You better brush your teeth everyday...

o**...-B very mad!

Christmas Day accident

Grandpa woke up unusually early yesterday to celebrate Christmas with the family. He was half asleep still when went to the restroom to brush his teeth. In the early morning brain fog, he accidentally got his Polident mixed up with his Preparation H.
His gums aren't itching, but now, he can't get his underwear off!

Georgia and Alabama hate each other

Really we have very similar jokes for each other. In Georgia we say that we know the tooth brush was invented in Alabama because if it was invented anywhere else it'd be called a teeth brush. In Alabama they say that we sure have some strange uses for those grout cleaners.

An Old Man and His Lake

An old man went down to his lake to clear brush from a recent storm. When he arrived he found 8 beautiful women skinny dipping in the water. Seeing him the women yelled "you get out of here old man. We're staying under the water until you're long gone so you don't see a thing." Quickly the old man replied "I apologize ladies. I'm not here to spy on you. I just came to feed the alligators."

Why did the dentist and the orthodontist get into a fight?

They couldn't brush away their differences.

Did I tell you about the time I was nearly killed with a broom?

It was a brush with death.

The toilet brush

A man walks into a store looking for a toilet brush. The store owner shows him a variety of brushes at various pricepoints. The man thinks for a little while, then buys the cheapest one.
The next day the man is back at the store. "Were you unhappy with your purchase?" asks the shopkeeper. "We have other models that might work better."
The man agrees and buys a little more expensive one.
The next day the man is back yet again. The shopkeeper, visually puzzled on how a toilet brush can be such a big deal, asks "What's the matter, didn't like the new one either?"
"Well" replies the man. "To be honest it *was* pretty effective. But I gotta say, I prefer toilet paper!"

Tell the class something interesting about your family.

During class, the teacher wanted the students to say something interesting about their family.
Johnny decided to go first and said: '' My father has two p**... ''. The teacher knew that was impossible and asked Johnny to elaborate.
Johnny then said: '' He has a small one he uses to pee and a large one he uses to brush mommy's mouth with! ''

I felt a toe brush against me whilst I was out swimming in the lake

I thought 'something must be afoot'

I like to brush my teeth while I take my morning p**....

I call it taking a number tooth.

Ghandi spent a lot of time fasting in his life, which made him thin and frail. He chose not to wear shoes often, so when he walked, he toughened up his feet. Rarely did he brush his teeth.

That makes him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I bought a toilet brush a few days ago.

My a**...'s red raw, I'm going back to toilet paper.

A guy looking for work

A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150 to paint his porch.
A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, I'm finished. But you should know that your car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche.

What does a dentist-in-training do before an o**... exam?

They brush up.

If you get pulled over and you have some Coke in your car, you're likely to get arrested.

However, if you get pulled over and you have some Pepsi in your car, you're likely to make a new friend.
Remember to always brush your seatbelts, buckle your teeth, and drink Pepsi.®️

Why did the s**... cell cross the road?

Your mother forgot to brush her teeth this morning.

A Chinese calligraphy artist passed out after finishing the first brush...

People said that he had one n**... s**....

I call my toothpaste "Death"....

....then I tell women, "I had a brush with Death this morning."

Just recently I have bought a toilet brush.

Didn't like it and switched back to toilet paper.

A boy asks his mom, When I grow up will I have two p**... like daddy?

Mom: Daddy doesn't have two p**... son
Son: Sure he does! He has the little one he uses to pee and the big one he uses to brush the babysitter's teeth!

What kind of tooth brush does a Mexican New Yorker use?


Start taking dental hygiene seriously at a young age

It's nothing to brush off lightly

I need to brush up on my geography.

The box my new TV came in said "Built In Antenna." I have no idea where Antenna is.

One day two friends decided to brush up their English.

One says "i will ask you the antonyms of some words".
The other agreed.
Friend 1 : Antonym of 'Always'
Friend 2 : Never
Friend 1 : Antonym of 'Stop' said in a modern way
Friend 2 : Gonna
Friend 1 : Antonym of 'take'
Friend 2 : Give
Friend 1 : Antonym of 'me'
Friend 2 : You
Friend 1 : Antonym of 'Down'
Friend 2 : Up

Kanye West

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he'll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest. Then to school to take his Kanye Test. He forgot to brush his teeth. Did he run out of Kanye Crest? His neighbor stole it, what a Kanye Pest.

Toilet brush

Whilst this is a joke, my nan actually told me this yesterday and insists it's a true story from the 60s when she lived in Cornwall...
So, my grandma was was walking down the street and her neighbour, let's call her Beverley, was heading towards her carrying her shopping but was walking kind of funny.
Naturally my Nan asked if everything was okay and if she's alright, had she hurt herself? No she said, I'm okay, I've just bought one of those new toilet brushes, but I think I'm going to switch back to paper

Honey, I cleaned the bathroom!!!

Wife: Thank you
Hubby: Why do we keep the toilet brush in the shower?
Wife: What?!??!
Hubby: Why is the toilet brush in the shower?
Wife: What the h**... are you talking about?!?
Hubby: The puffy thing with the handle!!
Hubby: You named the toilet brush?

A person gets hit by a bicycle.

So this person wakes up, as usual, to get ready to go to work. They do their normal routine: brush teeth, eat breakfast, get dressed, etc... On their way to work, they get hit by a bicycle.
The next day, the same thing happens. Get ready for work, leave, get hit by a bicycle. This goes on for weeks.
It was a vicious cycle.

I bought a new toilet brush last week

It is too coarse. I am going back to using toilet paper.

What do we know about Gandhi?

Well, he walked barefoot and was a vegetarian.. he ate very little and practiced yoga, and was a minimalist who likely didn't brush his teeth either, giving him bad breath.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I just bought a new toilet brush.

Honestly? Not a fan. I think I'll stick with toilet paper.

The first rule of singing in the bathroom!

The toilet brush must never be used as a microphone

A man wins a neighborhood door prize.

it's a toilet brush, and a week later, some of the guys invited him him to their weekly poker game. While there, one of them asks, "Hey Ollie, how's that toilet brush, the one you won from us neighbors?" Ollie responds, "Well, it works real good, but I prefer toilet paper."

I got abducted by aliens...

I was told to do my all chores, e**... veggies, take a shower and brush my teeth.
It was then I realized I was in the mother ship.

I got arrested today - apparently it's "i**..." to shave, brush your teeth, make a phonecall, take a nap, have a glass of wine and read a newspaper.

Driving s**... nowdays.

What do you call a woman who has a duster in one hand, a brush in the other, a shovel on one foot and a s**... on the other foot

A Swiss army wife.

My toothpaste fell off of my brush and right onto the floor before I got to brush

I was Crestfallen

Brush joke, My toothpaste fell off of my brush and right onto the floor before I got to brush

jokes about brush