Brunette Jokes
130 brunette jokes and hilarious brunette puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brunette that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a few laugh-out-loud brunette jokes? From blonde vs brunette, to puns about brown hair, and more, here's a collection of the most humorous gems about brunettes. Get ready to enjoy a few good laughs with these jokes about brunette hair, a girl with a ponytail, and redhead and brunette comparisons.
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Funniest Brunette Short Jokes
Short brunette jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brunette humour may include short blonde hair jokes also.
- A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.. Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"
Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."
Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!" - A blonde and a brunette are discussing the previous night out... The brunette says, "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."
"Oh my god!" the blonde replies. "How many is THAT?" - 2 blondes, 2 brunettes, and 2 redheads walk into a bar. The 2 blondes say "hello" to the bartender... The 4 Non Blondes say "WHAT'S GOING ON!"
- A blonde and a brunette are in a car. Brunette: Christmas is on a Friday this year.
Blonde: I hope it's not the 13th. - A blonde and a brunette is sitting on a bench. Out of nowhere, the brunette says: Look! A dead bird!
The blonde gazes up into the air says where? - If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you... Gingerly
- There's a brunette, red-head, and a blonde in the same Kindergarten class. Who has the biggest rack? The blonde. She's 19.
- Did you hear about the war between the blondes and the brunettes? The blondes were throwing hand grenades, and the brunettes were pulling the pins and throwing them back.
- Brunette: "Where were you born?" Blonde: "The United States." Brunette: "Which part?" Blonde: "My whole body."
- A blonde, a brunette and a red head are standing at the pearly gates. I don't believe this to be possible. I'm an atheist.
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Brunette One Liners
Which brunette one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brunette? I can suggest the ones about blonde girl and mean blonde.
- What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence
* - A Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar . . . The Blonde, ironically, ducked.
- What do you call a brunette standing behind two blondes? The translator.
- What do you get when you turn 4 blondes upside down? 4 brunettes
- A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar Wow, these are great binoculars!
- Why is there a brunette walking between two blondes? To translate!
- What do you call a ginger with a soul? A brunette named Ginger
- What do you call it when a brunette dyes her hair blonde? Brainwashing.
- What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
A brunette! - Blonde: Today must be Sunday.
Brunette: Why?
Blonde: Because the sun is up. - Where do all blonde jokes come from? Brunettes sitting around on a Saturday night.
- What's blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?
A blonde doing cartwheels. - A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.
- Blonde: What does IDK stand for? Brunette: I don't know Blonde: Why doesn't anyone know!
- Why did the Brunette get an abortion? She had a misconception
Blonde And Brunette Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde and brunette jokes and even better blonde and brunette puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- in a kindergarten class, there is a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. which one do you date? the blonde. she's 18.
- A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are each in their own rooms, who is the hottest? Whoever forgot to turn on the air conditioner.
- How do you tell a blonde from a brunette in the dark? Just call out "can you hear me?" and listen for the reply "no, its too dark in here!"
- A blond and a brunette jumped off the roof of a 10-story building at the exact same time. Who hit the ground first? The brunette.
The blonde had to stop and ask for directions. - What's brown, black and blue and lays at the bottom of a ditch? A brunette that's told one too many blonde jokes.
- What's the mating call of a blond? "Oh, I'm *so* drunk!"
What's the mating call of a brunette?
"Are all of the blonds gone?"
What's the mating call of a ginger?
"Next!" - A blonde a brunette and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... This content has been censored by Ellen Pao because it was harassing her personal interests
- How can you tell when a brunette is actually a blonde who dyes her hair? When she trips over the cordless phone.
- Tall blonde Starbucks barista: hello! What would you like today?
A tall blonde please.
I'm so sorry we're out of blonde roast today.
Can I get a tall brunette instead?
Badamtssss - [Walks into a bar] A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar Bartender looks at them and says : Is this a joke ?
Blonde Brunette Jokes
Here is a list of funny blonde brunette jokes and even better blonde brunette puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the brunette fighting Chuck Norris? Everything was red, brown, blonde...
- A blonde, redhead and a brunette are stuck in a game the game has 100 stairs with jokes written on them. If you laugh, you die
- A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock.
The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!" - Boy1: A blonde and brunette are on the top of a building. Who falls off first?
Boy2: The blonde?
Boy1: No, she has to ask for directions on how. - I made six figures last year! A blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a Cherokee, a Latina, and a Spaniard!
Redhead And Brunette Jokes
Here is a list of funny redhead and brunette jokes and even better redhead and brunette puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Three brunettes and a redhead walk in to a bar. A guy at the bar says "Hey, what's going on?"
Cheeky Brunette Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about brunette you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smart blonde jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brunette pranks.
A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.
Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th Grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she's the only one who's 18.
A blonde woman called her brunette friend. "I'm doing a jigsaw puzzle at my apartment, but it's way too hard for me!"
"What's the jigsaw supposed to be?" asks the brunette.
"According to the box," says the blonde, "it's supposed to be a rooster."
When the brunette arrives at the blonde's apartment, she looks at the puzzle pieces. Then she look at the box. Then she says to the blonde, "I'm afraid you will not be able to make anything even remotely resembling a rooster."
This makes the blonde furious. "Calm down," says the brunette. "Once you are relaxed, we can start putting the corn flakes back into the box."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island
The redhead tries to swim back to land, gets a quarter of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
The brunette decides to try, swims a third of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
Finally the blonde tries, swims half of the way there, gets tired, swims back.
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
From my dad: What do you get when a t**... blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a t**... brunette?
Your camera.
A man has lost his wife in a supermarket...
And while looking for her, he sees a stunning brunette. The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,
You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?
Why?
Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
A blonde and a brunette are talking about their boyfriends' dandruff problems
The brunette says, my boyfriend used to have dandruff, but I gave him Head and Shoulders and it went away in a few days
The blonde thinks for a minute and then replies, how do you give shoulders?
A blonde and a brunette are on opposite sides of a river...
The brunette yells across, "Help me get to the other side of the river!"
The blonde yells back, "You *are* on the other side of the river!"
11 Blondes and a brunette
There are 12 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 11 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in a maternity ward, waiting to give birth.
The brunette says, "I think I'm having a boy because when we conceived, my husband was on top".
The redhead smiles and says, "in that case, I'm having a girl. I'm always on top!"
At this, the blonde starts crying hysterically. The other two calm her down and ask her what's wrong.
"I'm having puppies!" she sobs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde and a brunette
decide to go to the movies together. The picture had a scene with a horse race in it. Before the race starts, he brunette turns to the blonde and says "I'll bet you fifty dollars the black horse wins." The blonde says "OK, you're on!" The scene ends with the black horse barely winning, so the blonde pays up. The brunette decides to confess; "I have to admit that I saw this movie last week." The blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think that black horse could possibly win a second time!"
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are driving through the desert.
The car breaks down, and they've got no cell reception, so they have to walk to get help. The brunette says "I'll grab the bottled water in case we get thirsty." The redhead says, "I'll grab the snacks in case we get hungry."
The blonde rips the drivers side door off its hinges. "I'll take this door, so if we get hot, I can roll the window down."
(Blonde joke I just remembered) A blonde and a brunette...
A blonde and a brunette are walking in a shopping mall and spot a man with really bad dandruff. He has a look of visible anger on his face as he passes the two girls. The brunette says "Wow, that guy could use some Head & Shoulders." The blonde says back "How do you give Shoulders?"
[blonde] Two girls were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again. "Yes... no... yes... no...yes..."
A blonde and two brunettes had to climb 100 stairs without laughing
On each stair they were told a joke, and they got funnier every stair higher.
The first brunette only made it to the first stair.
The second brunette made it to the fifth stair before she laughed.
The blonde slowly made her way up all the stairs, until finally she was at the 99th stair, where she let out a chuckle.
The brunettes, in awe of how well she did, asked her why she laughed.
She replied I finally got the first joke
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead spy get caught behind enemy lines...
The enemy puts each of them against a fence to be shot.
The general orders his squad, "Ready. Aim."
The brunette spy is quick on her feet and yells, "TORNADO! TORNADO! TORNADO!"
The entire firing squad goes to the bunker to hide and waits for the tornado to pass. The brunette then unties her b**... and escapes. The redhead spy sees this and comes up with her own plan. The firing squad returns to kill the remaining two spies.
The general orders again, "Ready. Aim."
The redhead spy then shouts, "EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE!"
The enemy takes cover from the earthquake. The redhead spy then unties her b**... and escapes. The blonde spy is no dumby she gets an idea of her own. The firing squad returns to kill the last remaining spy.
The general orders once more, "Ready. Aim."
The blonde spy ready to run yells, "FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead
...a doctor, a lawyer and an accountant, a Brit, a German and an American, a priest, a rabbi, two camels and a duck walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them all and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
A bus full of cheerleaders went off a cliff
Miraculously, all twenty of them managed to grab onto the same branch sticking out of the cliffside. There were nineteen beautiful blondes and one brunette. The brunette saw the branch was starting to break, so she made a decision.
"Listen ladies," she said. "As skinny as we are, this branch can't hold all our weight. You're all so beautiful and talented, so I'm going to let go in hopes that it's enough to save your lives. Tell my family I love them."
The blondes were so moved by her selfless sacrifice that they gave her a round of applause.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.
The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!
The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the m**... when she got pregnant!
All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops...
They duck into an abandoned warehouse, each find a an empty sack, and climb into it.
Cops follow and poke the bag with the brunette. The brunette goes woof! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of dogs, and walks on.
They poke the bag with the redhead. The redhead goes meow! The policeman says, Oh, it's just a bag of cats, and walks on.
They poke the bag with the blonde and the blonde goes Potato. Potato.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Still the best blonde joke to date..
A brunette, a redhead, and a blond escape a burning building by
climbing to the roof. The firemen are on the street below,
holding a blanket for them to jump into.
The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
chance to survive!"
The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen y**... the blanket
away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.
"No! It's brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with redheads!"
"OK" says the redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen y**... the
blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.
Only the blonde remains on top of the building. Again, the
firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me
that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you
to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
A redhead, an brunette, and a blonde are about to be executed by a firing squad.
The redhead is first, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the redhead screams "tornado!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.
The brunette is next, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the brunette screams "earthquake!" so everyone runs away and she escapes.
The blonde is last, so they push her against the wall. The captain says "ready, aim..." and the blonde screams "fire!"
A blonde and a brunette are riding in an elevator...
At one point, a man steps aboard with dandruff all over his suit. He gets off a few floors later and the brunette turns to the blonde and whispers-
Now THAT'S a guy who could really use some Head & Shoulders!
The blonde looks perplexed:
How do you give somebody shoulders?
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all on their way to heaven
One day, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were on their way to heaven.
God told them that there were 1,000 stairs to reach heaven, and on every stair he would tell them a joke. If they laughed, or even just smiled, they would not make it into heaven.
The redhead managed to make it to the 45th step before laughing.
The brunette reached 200 and cracked a smile.
The blonde made it all the way to the 999th step and burst out in laughter before God had even told his joke.
"Why are you laughing when I haven't even told my joke yet?" God asked the Blonde.
"I just got the first one!" she answered.
A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank...
The brunette is the getaway driver. She told the plan to the blonde, told her to be back in less than 5 minutes, and dropped her off at the front door of the bank.
10 minutes goes by.... No sight of the blonde...
20 minutes goes by... No sight of the blonde...
Finally, after a half hour the blonde comes running out of the bank, dragging the safe by a long rope. As soon as the blonde gets into the car, the brunette sees the guard running as fast as he can towards them, with his pants at his ankles...
After a few moments of silence, the brunette realizes what happened and screamed to the blonde, " You IDIOT! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!!!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head just robbed a bank.
They run into a barn to hide from the cops chasing them. Each of them jumps into an empty burlap sack when the cops come in.
The cops see the bags so they inspect them. The cops shakes the red head's bag. "Woof woof !" Says the red head. So the cops move on, thinking that it's just the farmer's dog.
The cops shake the brunette's bag. "Meow!" Says the brunette. So the cops move on.
The cops approach the third sack and shake the bag. The blonde yells "potatoes!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are lost in the wilderness...
...and they become very excited when they come across tracks. As they are following the tracks, the three of them take a guess on what animal could have possibly left them.
"Obviously, it must have been a horse," said the Blonde.
"No no no, we're in the forest, it must have been a deer," said the Brunette.
"You're both idiots. Obviously it's a dog!" said the Redhead.
They debated until the train came and hit them.
My dad's go to joke...
So there's a blonde, a brunette, and a red head who are all pregnant. A man walks up to the brunette and asks what gender she is having. She replies saying "well I was on top so I'm having a boy!' He then asks the red head what gender her baby is and she replies "well I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl!' He then asks the blonde what she is having and she says 'Oh my god! I must be having puppies!'
3 blonde girls is at the side of a river
And they're trying to get to the village on the other side
1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river
the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft and paddle across
The last girl ask god to make her smarter than the other two girls,so god make her a man and he uses the bridge
A blonde, brunette, and a red-head go to heaven
They meet St. Peter at a staircase with 100 stairs
St. Peter says, "To get to the gates, you need to climb the stairs, but on each stair is a joke or a riddle. If you laugh, you have to start over."
The red-head goes first. She gets to the first step and laughs.
The brunette goes next. She gets to the thirty second step, then laughs.
The blonde goes last. She got to the final step, and laughed.
St. Peter asks, "You were so close. Why did you laugh?"
The blonde replies, "I finally got the joke from the first step."
The Magic Mirror
In this public toilet, there's this magic mirror. Whenever you say something untruthful you disappear.
A red head walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the best legs in the world" and puff...she's gone.
Next a brunette walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the most sexist eyes" and puff...she's gone
Finally a blonde walks into the toilets and says "I think..." and puff she's gone!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are captured by a witch
The witch tells them, "If you say something about yourself that is true, I will let you go, if not, you will vanish into thin air"
The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest"
*p**...!* the brunette disappears.
The redhead says, "I think I'm the smartest"
*p**...!* the redhead disappears.
The blonde says, "I think..." *p**...!*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Magic carpet
A blonde , a brunette and a red head walk into a carpet store and spot a talking magic carpet.
It spoke, "if you step on me and lie, you will disappear with a p**...!"
The brunette steps on first and says, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in town."
She vanished with a p**...!
The red head steps on the carpet and says, "I think I'm the smartest girl in town."
She vanished with a p**...!
The blonde steps on the carpet and says, "I think-"
She vanished with a p**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde visit a magical bridge.
The sign reads "Magical bridge: Jump off the bridge and shout out what you want to land in and so it shall be."
The brunette goes first, she climbs on the rail, jumps off and yells "Pillows!" She lands safe and sound in a pile of pillows.
The redhead jumps next. " Hundred dollar bills!" She yells and lands in a huge pile of money.
The blonde goes last. She climbs up, jumps off and gets scared. She yells "Oh shiiiiiiiit!"
21, 21, 21
A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from track to track saying, "21, 21, 21..."
A blonde walks up and sees the brunette. She watches her antics for a while and decides to join in, jumping from track to track saying, "21, 21, 21..."
A train comes, and the brunette hops off the tracks just in time to see the blonde get smeared. She waits patiently for the train to pass, then gets back onto the tracks jumping from track to track saying, "22, 22, 22..."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
A blonde was walking through the woods...
... when she saw a brunette on some train tracks. She watched her for a few minutes, trying to understand what she was doing. The brunette was hopping from one track to the other, saying "38, 38, 38..."
After a little while, the blonde decides to join the brunette, hopping from track to track, saying "38, 38, 38..."
They do this for a few more minutes until there is a train coming. The brunette jumps off the tracks, just in time for the blonde to get smeared.
After the train passes, the brunette hops back onto the tracks, saying, "39, 39, 39..."
The brunette, the redhead, and the blonde.
One day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were set to be executed. They lined the three woman up in front of a firing squad. First, they brought the brunette up. Ready, aim. But just before they shoot she shouts "Earthquake!" and in the commotion she escapes. Once the chaos dies down they bring up the redhead. Ready, aim."Tornado!" and she escapes. Then they bring the blonde up. By that time the blonde has caught on. Ready aim, and she shouts "Fire"!
A brunette gets a bouquet of flowers for valentines day.
The other office women are admiring the flowers as they are delivered to her.
She then smirks and says to the crowd of women gathered around "I guess this means I will be spending the night with my legs in the air."
The blonde then says "Don't you have a vase?"
The fireman climbs the ladder to a bedroom of a burning house, and there he finds a curvaceous brunette.
\`Ah,\` he says, \`you're the second pregnant girl I've rescued this year.\`
\`But I'm not pregnant!\`
\`You're not rescued yet.\`
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are talking about where they would go if they were astronauts.
The brunette says "the Moon. The Redhead says "Mars". The Blond says "The Sun." When the other two girls say she can't go to the sun as she'd get incinerated, she replies with "I'd go at night, duh!"
A brunette and a blonde are stranded on an island.
Suddenly, a magical genie appears to them. He says, "You girls have stumbled upon an unfortunate fate. Therefore, I will grant you each one wish."
The brunette says, "I wish I were home with my family!"
"So it is done," the genie says, and the girl is poofed home.
The blonde looks over to where her friend had just been standing and says, "Aw man, I wish she hadn't left me here."
A blonde and brunette walk into an elevator
They exchange pleasantries and the door closes, the next floor a man gets in with terrible dandruff.
Both women look at each other but don't say anything.
When the man gets off and the door shuts they share a laugh.
The brunette says wow he could definitely use some head and shoulders!
The blonde gives her a look and replies How do you give shoulders?
Blonde, Brunette, Redhead
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are trapped on an island 1000 kilometers from shore, and the only way to get back is to swim.
The brunette goes 200 kilometers, gets tired, and drowns.
The redhead goes 650 kilometers, gets tired, and also drowns.
Then the blonde gets to 999 kilometers, gets tired, turns around and swims back.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blond and a brunette are sitting on a porch...
The brunette looks out and sees her husband approaching with flowers. The brunette says: "Oh look, flowers, looks like I'll be having my legs spread open all weekend long..." The blonde replies: "Why? Don't you have a vase?"
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were cruising around in a pickup truck
As they were crossing a bridge, they lost control of the truck and it plunged into the river below. The redhead quickly opened her door and swam to the surface. The brunette's door was stuck, but she was able to roll down the window and also swam to the surface. The blonde unfortunately drowned - she couldn't get the tailgate down.
A brunette and redhead started laughing in the backyard when a blonde joined them.
The blonde said "What's so funny?" The honest brunette said, "Oh it's nothing." The tactful redhead said, "It's kind of an inside joke." The curious blonde said nothing, as she walked toward the back door.
So there's this magical mountain...
...where people jump off, and land in a pool of whatever they yell. There are three chicks, a brown-haired girl, and brunette, and a blonde. The brown-haired girl jumps, and yells "CANDY!", and lands in a huge pool of candy. The brunette jumps off and yells "MONEY!", and lands in a pool of money. The blonde jumps and yells "CANNONBALL!".
A blonde visits her brunette friend at her home and finds out that she's sick.
The brunette asks "Could you please call the doctor? I'm too sick to go on the phone."
She does so, and calls a doctor. When the doctor comes and visits, the brunette finds out he is a veterinarian.
Confused, the brunette asks, "Why did you call a veterinarian to come see me?"
And the blonde says, "Well I didn't think his religion would make a difference."
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all on the run from the cops...
They find an abandoned potato factory and each hide in a huge brown sack. The cops arrive and kick the first sack. The redhead yells, "Woof! Woof"! to imitate a dog. The captain says, "Leave it be! We don't need some dog out here biting our ankles". A cop kicks the second sack, and the brunette says, "Meow!" The captain says, "Leave it be! I don't want some cat out here scratching our faces". A cop kicks the last sack, and the blonde says, "Potatoes!"
Two blondes and a brunette are walking down the street...
Two blondes and a brunette are walking down the street when a bird poos on one of the blondes. The brunette says "I'll get some toilet paper" and runs off.
The other blonde laughs and says, "what an idiot, the bird will be miles away by the time she's back."
How does a blond cross the road?
A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store.
The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?"
The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"
A Blonde A Brunette and A Redhead trespassed onto a farm
later a farmer came to chase them out so they all went hiding in the barnyard. The redhead hid with the pigs and said "oink" "oink", the brunette hid with the cows and said "moo" moo", and the blonde hid under a potato sack and said "potato" potato"
A blonde and a brunette are in an elevator
A man gets in the elevator and they're both checking him out. He gets off at the next floor.
Blonde: He looked good but he had some serious dandruff.
Brunette: yeah, somebody should really give him some Head & Shoulders.
Blonde: good idea, but how do you give shoulders?
A blonde and a brunette are taking a break
The brunette pulls out a thermos and starts to sip coffee while eating her lunch. The blonde asks what's up with the funny looking flask. "It's a thermos flask, it keeps hot beverages hot, and cold beverages cold!" the blonde is enthused, and decides right away to get one herself.
The next day the blonde walks in the breakroom with a brand new thermos and shows it to the brunette. "Oh," the brunette remarks, "What do you have in there?"
"Two coffee and an ice cream!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde is sitting next to a brunette on a plane. She turns to the dark haired woman and asks, "Where are you from?"
The brunette haughtily replies, "I'm from a place where we know better than to end a sentence with a preposition."
The blonde pauses for a second and then asks, "Where are you from, b**...?"
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are each pregnant and at the doctor's office...
While sitting in the waiting area, they begin chatting.
The brunette says "I was on the bottom so I'm having a girl!"
The redhead says "I was on top so I'm having a boy!"
The blonde starts crying hysterically.
The brunette and redhead ask her what's wrong.
The blonde says "I'm going to have a puppy!"
Three Pregnant Ladies
Three Pregnant Ladies are discussing their unborn babies.
The Brunette says "I am having a girl because I was on the bottom when my partner and I conceived"
The Redhead says "I am having a boy as I was on top with my partner"
The Blonde starts crying and the other two ask what is wrong "I am going to be having ten puppies!"
A blond and a burunette are at the perfume counter
The brunette picks up a bottle and sprays the air. The blond says "ooooh, thats lovely - whats that?"
Brunette: Viens Ici
Blond:
Brunette: Vien Ici - it's French. It means "Come to me"
Blond (sniffs the air): "ohhh - it smells nice but it does not smeall like come to me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three moms are talking and having lunch together...
One mom had black hair, the next was brunette, and the third was blonde.
The black haired mom says "You guys won't believe what I found in my daughters room yesterday. A cigarette! I've never even smoked."
The brunette mom says "You won't believe what I found in *my* daughters room yesterday. Whiskey! I've never even drank."
The blonde mom says "Well guess what I found in *my* daughters room yesterday. A c**...! I've never even had s**... before."
A blonde and a brunette inherit their parent's ranch but they soon run into money trouble
The brunette says "I'll go to town to buy a bull to produce offspring then send you a telegram when I'm done."
So she gets the bull, goes to the telegram office but she only has enough money left for 1 word. She tells the man at the office to send the word "Comfortable" and he says she'll never know what that means.
So the brunette says "My sister's a blonde so she'll read the word very slowly: Com-for-tha-bull."
Driving home, a man sees a car stuck in a ditch
Driving home, a man sees a car stuck in a ditch.
As he approaches a beautiful brunette steps out.
Man: "Wow! Your the second pregnant woman I've pulled out of this ditch today!"
Woman: "I'm not pregnant!"
Man: "Well you're not out of the ditch yet either!"
Source: overheard on my wife's phone while she was browsing some app and it made me chuckle
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A brunette, A redhead, and A blonde....
Enter an elevator and spot something on the floor.
The brunette immediately says "Eww, that's s**...".
The redhead, touches it with her index finger and rubs it with her thumb together and says "Yup, definitely s**...".
The blonde, touches it, rubs it between her fingers and tastes it and says: "Yup, definitely s**..., and it's not from anyone in this building."
3 witch fugitives were cornered by police
The redhead yelled "AIR" and a gust of wind carried her to safety.
The brunette yelled "EARTH" and a tunnel to safety appeared underneath her.
The blonde yelled "FIRE" so the police did.
