Brunch Jokes
21 brunch jokes and hilarious brunch puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about brunch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Break the ice at your next bottomless brunch or gay brunch with these funny jokes. Enjoy a laugh with your friends at noon with these Twerky jokes that will keep the atmosphere light and fun. With our selection of brunch jokes, even the most intimidating cafeteria will be full of laughter.
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Funniest Brunch Short Jokes
Short brunch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brunch humour may include short breakfast jokes also.
- A group of Jewish women are out at brunch ...when the waiter comes over and says "ladies, is anything ok?"
- Why did the Catholic chef sanitize his crucifix while preparing Sunday brunch? To prevent cross-contamination.
- If a combined breakfast and lunch is called brunch. What is combining your breakfast, lunch, and dinner called? ...being poor.
- I meant to get my mom an Edible Arrangement for Mother's Day Accidentally got an Oedipal Arrangement and boy is this brunch awkward
- A gay student complained to his counsellor about bullying He said he was sick of the other kids taking his brunch money.
- If combining your breakfast and lunch is called brunch. What is combining your breakfast, lunch, and dinner called? It's called being poor.
- My friend just brought home five new chickens for her chicken coop, and asked for suggestions for naming them... I suggested "breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch and supper..."
- If meal between breakfast and lunch is brunch Then a meal between dinner and breakfast is defrost.
- Grandpa putting cream cheese on Grandma's breast was surprising. Nobody expected a pap shmear at brunch.
- Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner If Breakfast and Lunch are *Brunch*, and Lunch and Dinner are *Linner*, then Dinner and Breakfast must be *Dickfast*
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Brunch One Liners
Which brunch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brunch? I can suggest the ones about lunch and breakfast lunch.
- What is the best sport to play before brunch? Tenish
- What do you call a dinosaur having brunch? Tea-Rex
- What do giraffes eat at 11am? Brunch.
- if Morgan Freeman is late for brunch do his friends call him an "unreliable narrator"?
- I had 37, 38, 39, 40 and 41 for breakfast. Then I had them for brunch... And 42
- What did Kanye tell the brunch crowd after interrupting their meal? "Omelette you finish"
- What's Khal Drogo's favorite thing about brunch? Jason Mimosas
- What do you call the dump you take after a brunch? Brexit.
- What is it called when you eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch at noon? Cinnamon Toast Brunch
Unearthly Funniest Brunch Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about brunch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean breakfast food jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brunch pranks.
A mother finds out she has cancer
A mother and daughter visit the doctor to get the results of the mom's pap-smear.
"It's stage-4 cervical cancer. You have 1 month left", the doctor says.
The mother is devastated. She gathers all her girlfriends for one last brunch.
At the brunch she announces, "Bad news, the doctor said I have 1 month to live. I have AIDS."
Her friends are shocked. They offer their condolences and hurriedly depart.
"But mom", the daughter protests "You have cancer. Why did you tell them you have AIDS?"
Mom replies, "Because I don't want any of them sleeping with your father."
Three women decide to compare their husbands to soft drinks.
Three women are out to brunch, and they're talking about who has the best husband. One of them decides they should compare their respective husbands to soft drinks (sodas).
First woman: "My husband is like 7UP, because he's 7 inches and he's always up."
Second woman: "Well my husband is like Mountain Dew, because when he's mountin' me, he knows what to do."
Third woman: "Well my husband is like Jack Daniels."
First woman: "That's not a soft drink!"
Third woman: "I know, but he's a hard l**...."
Blonde Joke
Three pregnant women were having brunch together, discussing pregnancy matter, and the subject of the baby's gender came up.
Brunette: My baby's going to be a boy because when my husband and I conceived, I was on top.
Redhead: My baby is going to be a girl because I was on the bottom.
Blonde (bursting into tears): "My baby's going to be a puppy."
Three generations were having brunch together
The grandson looks over at his newlywed wife and asks her, "Will you pass the honey, honey?" She giggles and passes the honey.
The father, not to be outdone, looks over to his wife and asks, "Will you pass the sugar, sugar?" She laughs, "You old charmer," and passes the sugar.
The Grandfather looks up, makes eye contact with his wife of 55 years and asks, "Will you pass the tea... bag?"
A man is meeting with his boss and his boss's boss for brunch.
All three of their wives are joining them to eat. Among the conversation, the man's boss's boss asks his wife to pass him the sugar.
"Pass the sugar, sugar."
Then his boss looks at his wife to pass him the honey.
"Pass the honey, honey." He says.
The man thinks he should match his boss's and boss's boss's humor.
He looks to his wife and says, "Pass the tea, bag."
3 women meet for brunch after a wild night...
1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".
2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5 grand to fix".
3rd woman goes "When I got home I decided to take a bath and light some candles. I was so drunk, I passed out, knocked over the candles and ended up burning down my whole house".
1st woman exclaims "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"
3 guys come back late from a night of drinking...
They met for brunch for the next day.
Guy 1: I drank way to much, first thing I did when I got home I blew Chunks...
Guy 2: That's nothing, I wrapped my car around a tree on my way home.
Guy 3: I beat all of you, I was arguing with my wife and knocked a candle over! It destroyed the whole house.
It went silent for a minute.
Guy 1: I don't think you guys understand. Chunks is my dog.
